Hey guys I'm back...
My birthday has been good thank you and thank you all for the birthday messages and I appreciate them all. I even got flowers and a teddy bear from an admirer lool
Anyway here is the next chapter... ENJOY!
It was hard to think with so much running through my head. I was still at the river court and the sun had just gone down. I felt so numb holding my knees up to my chest. The tears still hadn't stopped even when Chris left they kept coming. Chris... Having Chris here felt nice. I never thought I would see that side of him again and tonight I had but what did that mean? I didn't know what to think anymore.
I rake a hand through my hair and sighed closing my eyes again hoping to figure things out soon. I know this isn't Peyton's fault... This is all on me... I just couldn't take it and I've freaked out and I don't know how I'm going to deal with it right now.
My heart aches and my head hurts and my stomach is throbbing with all the sobbing I was doing. How can my life go from being happy to be so miserable and sad. Maybe it was a mistake to come here. Maybe I should just go back home and figure things out. My head is so jumbled I didn't know what to do.
"Jake called" I open my eyes and see Lucas sitting beside me "He told me to come find you. Thought you might need company" I didn't say anything just turn my gaze from him over to the ocean with the moonlight hitting the water "Brooke... What happened?" His voice was so soft yet felt million miles away "Pretty Girl?"
I close my eyes again and take a few deep breaths "The first year of college just a few months in and I find out I'm pregnant just because I faint in class one day. Chris and I were both happy about it, but then all the cheating started and I was so stressed and wasn't eating probably and one day I felt pain" Tears fell from my eyes once again and I could feel my whole body shake "It hurt so bad Luke... I was bleeding really bad and I had this bad feeling inside. Peyton rushed me to hospital, but it was too late... I lost the baby" I cried hard my whole body shaking and I was struggling to keep my breath.
"Oh god Brooke I'm so sorry" He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms around my body, but I pull away quickly and look to him. His ocean blue eyes meet my hazel brown ones.
"There was a complication during the miscarriage" I manage to say in a whisper "I lost a lot of blood and they couldn't stop it so I had to have surgery and... I can't have kids Lucas" My sob was so loud it even scared me a little, but soon enough I was pulled back into Lucas's arms and I buried my face into his chest holding onto him "And I understand if you don't want me anymore Lucas" I cried and I feel his arms tighten around me "I'm damage goods"
"Brooke... baby" He kissed the top of my head and pulled me back from him so I was looking into his eyes again "You are not damaged good. God damn you Brooke Davis I love you! I haven't had feelings like this before. Not even with Lyndsey. I'm not going to leave you"
"But Luke... I can't give you want you want. I can't give you a family" I cry some more looking from Lucas to the ground "I'm sorry Lucas" I push my body to get up off the picnic table "I should have told you before you developed feelings for me. I'm so sorry" I go to walk away, but Lucas reaches out and grabs my arm and spins me around to my body collides into his "Lucas... please"
"I'm not going to let you walk away Brooke. I love you and that's all I need" He states hugging me closer to his chest "This doesn't change anything Brooke"
"But Lucas..." I sob looking up at him and wiping at my cheeks "I can't give you what you want"
"Who said I want a family? Who said anything about that" Lucas says "I want you Brooke... I want us here and now and if we want kids in the future we'll adopt"
"I love you too Lucas" Lucas smiles down at me and then places a sweet kiss to my forehead then nose then as I smile up at him he kisses me softly on the lips and then I snuggle myself into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. I haven't felt this safe in years.
xxx
"Is she here?" I stood beside Lucas holding his hand as we left the river court and made our way over to Jake's apartment. Lucas finally convinced me to go talk to Peyton. I might not be mad at her, of course I wasn't mad at her. I was hurting that's all, but I'm trying hard not to play on it. I couldn't push my bestfriend after everything we've been through.
Jake nods stepping back to let us in "She's in the living room just down the hall" I nod at him giving Lucas's hand one final squeeze. He leans down and kisses me before I head down the hall to the living room.
Once I get to the living room I stand in the door frame and see Peyton sitting on the chair with her head in her hands "Peyton..." Her head snaps up and her blue eyes lock onto mine
"Oh god I'm sorry Brooke" She jumps up from her seat and runs over to me. I was in her arms before I could say anything. He arms flung around me and I was pressed against her "Please don't hate me. I didn't mean for this to happen. I know I hurt you" She cries and I could feel her shoulders shake as she cried. It broke my heart to see my bestfriend like this.
I pull back from her and walk to the window looking out I run my hand through my hair then turn back to Peyton "I don't hate you . I'm happy for you and Jake. It's amazing news" I give her a smile and her tears slowly stop falling as she looked at me "I'm sorry for being a bitch"
"Brooke you weren't being a bitch. I get it. I don't blame you" She tells me and brings me into another hug "I love you "
"I love you too "
"So is everything okay now?" Jake asks walking into the living room snaking his arms around Peyton from behind
I walk over to Lucas and take his hand in mine again entwining our fingers "Everything is good" I answer. Was it the truth? I'm not sure, but I know I don't want to lose the most important person in my life, so I will do everything in me to try my hardest at being happy for her.
xxx
The next morning I woke beside Lucas with his arms wrapped around me and my head on his chest. I loved waking up next to the guy I love. Lucas and I were both up and dressed ready for the day. He had some things to get done before we were going to meet again tonight. So now I was sitting on the sofa in the living room with my phone in my hand. I had dialled Chris's number and I debated whether I should call him or not. My mind went to yesterday and how he use to be. How he use to react with me. The guys I fell in love with showed an appearance once again yesterday and I missed it. I missed the old Chris and yesterday that is what I saw. I pressed call and brought the phone to my ear with a deep breath. On the third ring he picked up.
"I didn't think you'd be calling"
"I shouldn't be, but I needed to know something and yesterday I wasn't having a good day" I reply
"What is it you wanna know?" He asks and I just knew he had hat stupid smirk on his face. The smirk I don't really care for right now.
"Are you in Tree Hill still?" I stand up and head over to the island counter and sit down on a stool looking at my facebook page.
"No Brooke. I left last night. I was only in Tree Hill to see you"
"How did you know where I was?"
"I have someone tailing you remember" He said in a duh tone making my blood start to boil. Was Chris and I about to have another fight?
"Chris... I swear..." He cuts me off
"Don't worry Brooke I called him off today okay" My shoulders relax "Anyway are you okay?" His sensitive side was back. Why did he have to change? "Have you and Peyton talked?"
"Peyton and I are okay" I tell him scrolling through my facebook "I'm fine thank you"
"You're not fine Brooke" I didn't like his tone. He sounded like she knew me. He doesn't know me. I don't think he ever had and that is sad because I gave him 6 years of my life to find out he didn't care enough to get to know the real me. It doesn't matter anymore.
"Yes I am Chris" I state giving force to my tone "And even if I wasn't, its not your problem anymore. I'm not your problem anymore"
"I told you yesterday I still care for you"
"Yeah well I don't need you to care for me Keller" I grit my teeth. How dare he even say that to me. God what was I thinking calling him.
"Oh and why is that because if that idiot you now call your damn boyfriend" Chris yelled at me and the calm sweet guy I saw in him was gone and the jerk face Chris is back "Why won't you understand that your mine Brooke and only mine. God damn it!"
"Oh screw you Chris. I am not yours and never will be again" I bellow back at him "I shouldn't have fucking called you" And I hang up slamming my phone down the counter beside me. God damn him and his possessive ways.
xxx
"Brooke" Rebekah and Lilly scream at the same time as I walk into the Naley house. Over the past months I've become close with the Scott family. Both Lilly and Rebekah throw their arms around me "Lucas is here too"
"He is?" They both nod at me and take each of my hand and we head down the hall through the kitchen and to the den. I walk into the den with the girls and see everyone sitting around talking. I push the conversation with Chris out my head and spot Lucas. He looked up laughing at something Jake and Nathan said. When he stopped he saw me and he smiled. A big smile that filled my heart.
I smiled back and looked down at Lilly when she pulled at my hand "Brooke come play with us"
I didn't protest I went with her and sat down at the little table in the corner "What we playing?" I ask seeing Rebekah holding a doll.
"Playing dolls" Lilly replies taking the brunette doll in her hand "This one you can use Brooke" I take the Barbie from her and we start to play.
An hour later and everyone was sitting down to eat in the dining area of the Naley house. I was sat opposite Lucas and Peyton was beside him while Jake was beside her. Lilly was sat on my right side and Rebekah was sat on my left side. Everyone was digging into the pasta Haley had made.
"So congratulations is in order" Nathan says breaking the silence . Everyone stops eating and looks at Jake and Peyton "How far long are you Peyt?"
"Oh erm..." Peyton's gaze lands on me before she answers; her eyes not leaving mine "4 months"
"Wait what?" I comment looking up at her "You've known for four months and didn't say anything"
"I didn't want to put my problems on you Brooke" She says and I ignored all the looks we were getting and zoned in on my bestfriend "I'm sorry"
"Oh a lot of people keep saying that stupid word to me, but it doesn't mean anything" I throw back at her. I don't know why we were fighting. I couldn't help, but feel hurt with her not telling me about the pregnancy before "You're only meant to say 'I'm sorry' if you mean it"
"Brooke..."
And I changed my mood "So thought of nay names for the baby yet" I could see Lucas's change of expression out the corner of my eye, but I plaster a fake smile on my face and twirl some pasta onto my folk and place it into my mouth "Well have you?"
"Erm Brooke please don't do that again" Peyton's eyes were pleading with me, but I shake it off and don't lose the stupid smile I had on my face.
"Answer the question Peyton" I push finishing the last bit of my pasta and wiping my mouth with the napkin and pushing my plate forward a little.
"Brooke come with me" Peyton stands up and I follow her out into the garden. The whole table watching as we walk away "What is your problem?" Peyton asks shutting the glass doors.
"I haven't got a problem" I shrug taking a seat on the wall looking at her "It was just a question, I don't know why your making it a big deal"
"Stop it" Peyton mutters spinning towards me "Just stop it"
"I don't know what you want me to say"
"So this is how it's going to be yeah?" She questions slowly sitting on the swing opposite where I was sitting "Every time someone comments or congratulations me on the pregnancy you're going to act like this"
I look away from her and up to the sky trying to hold back the tears that were burning my eyes. I blink them back and sigh to myself. She was right. Is that how I was going to act every time someone congratulates her. Life is so cruel how could this be my fate.
"I'm sorry for what happened to you Brooke... And I'm sorry you can't have what you have always wanted, but I can't keep having this conversation with you"
"I'm the one that's always been there for you Peyton with your parents dying and your brother... I was the one that stayed by your side when everyone turned on you back in sophomore year and yet you didn't tell me you were pregnant because you thought it'd hurt me... Well guess what it does and I'm trying with everything in me to not care and be happy for you and I am happy for you Peyton" A tear slowly slides down my cheek and I wipe it away quickly and stand up looking at her "I'm trying" And with that I walk back into the house with thoughts running through my head.
REVIEW!
Roch xoxo