Chapter Fourteen

Chris looked down at her, as she touched his cheek.

"You need me, Chris."

He closed his eyes, because it was true, he did need her. Not around the shop, but he just needed her in his life. He couldn't deny that he'd been miserable all day, and had been hoping that a miracle would happen and he'd run into her today. Opening his eyes gave her a slight smile. "Not as much as you need me, sweetheart." It was a cocky, asshole type thing to say, but he was sure that she expected nothing less from him.

Kelli raised a brow. She was struck speechless by what he had said. Was this some sort of messed up turning point for them? By admitting this, did this make them like... together? She had no idea. Briefly she wondered if he would think she was crazy if she told him about the voices in her head, among her other messed up qualities. All these thoughts were processed in about a second, and Kelli decided to go for broke. She broke into a smile, a genuine smile, and reached up, pulling his head down, and kissed him. It wasn't a gentle kiss, and it conveyed all the words she was unable to utter herself.

Chris was at first confused too. He didn't know what this meant anymore than she did, but her kiss cleared up any mystery. It looked like they would try to work out their differences and be together. When she finally broke the kiss, he grinned down at her and kissed the tip of her nose. "You really are a head case, you know that?" he said as they broke apart and continued their walk.

Kelli snorted. "You have no idea. I won't blame you if you run away right now."

Chris stopped her and turned her to face him again. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "No one is running away. At least not tonight," he said with a grin. "I can't promise anything about tomorrow though."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence, Chris. Glad to know you have faith in me," she replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Hey, you are a self proclaimed nut. I could have just walked away earlier," he said, then sighed. "I tried."

Kelli nodded slowly. "I know. I did too," she said quietly. She sighed as well. "I think Jade was right."

Chris frowned. "Right about what?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it," she said as she started to walk again.

"Kelli," he said as he pulled her to a stop. "You can't do this if this is going to work at all."

She whirled to face him. "I can't do what? Keep things to myself once in awhile? Do you need to know every thought I ever think Chris?" She walked back to where he stood and jabbed him in the chest with her finger to punctuate her words. "You want to know what I'm thinking Chris? You want to know that I'm way more of a head case than you think I am? That I hear voices in my head that tell me how fucked up I am? That I should just go to Volterra and tell Chelsea what I did and hope she will kill me quickly? Is that what you want to hear?"

This wasn't what Chris had expected her reaction to be. He took an involuntary step back from her fury. "Kelli... I only meant..."

"What you meant, Christopher, is that you had no idea how screwed up I truly was! And you haven't even heard the full story yet! You ready to run yet?" she asked silkily.

"Is that what you want Kelli? You want to push me away, have me thinking you're crazy. Did it iever/i occur in your self centered little world that I might actually care, and instead of running away screaming, I'd want to help? Of course it didn't, because all you care about is yourself! You aren't happy unless you're miserable!"

"How dare you judge me, Chris! Like you live a perfectly charmed life! I suppose your life was perfect until the day I walked into it! God, what the hell was I even thinking? Jade is way off. There is no way you and I are supposed to be together. We'd kill each other–" she was abruptly cut off by Chris's mouth roughly settling on hers to shut her up.

Chris listened to her rant about his supposedly charmed life, but when she had said that they weren't supposed to be together, something inside him twisted deep. He needed to stop the words, because somewhere he knew they weren't close to being true. So he grabbed her, and kissed her, roughly, harshly.

Kelli struggled for about a second before giving herself over to him. The hands she had on his chest to push him away slid up and twined around his neck, pulling him closer. Her lips parted, and he took advantage, his tongue sweeping in to dance with hers.

He pulled away slightly, both of them breathing hard, and looked her directly in the eye. "I don't care what the hell you think. I can't live without this. Without you," he said softly.

Kelli stared at him for a moment before pulling him back to her and kissing him again. That was all the answer he needed and backed her up toward a stand of trees off the path they had been walking, and arguing, on. He pushed her up against a tree, never breaking the kiss. Her hands slid down his back and tugged up his shirt, slipping her hands underneath.

Chris sighed into her mouth as her hands touched his bare skin. He kept one hand braced on the tree next to her head and the other slid down her side, tracing her curves on the way down. His fingers teased the waistband of her pants, running lightly around her hip before he grabbed a fistful of her t-shirt and yanked it out of the cords she wore, and running his hand along the smooth skin of her side.

Kelli's head fell against the trunk of the tree, her eyes closed. Chris took that opportunity to kiss her once more before kissing his way down her neck to the point of the v in her v-neck t-shirt. He looked up at her, and grinned when she opened her eyes and gave him an accusing look for stopping. He lifted her shirt over her head and tossed it aside, and her bra went next.

Before he could go back to what he'd been doing, Kelli had his shirt off. She lifted her eyes to his and gave him a naughty smile before she ran her fingertips lightly over his bare chest. She followed the trail with her mouth, placing little kisses all down his chest. Her fingers worked his belt and jeans as she made her way back to his mouth.

Chris pushed her back against the tree again, his bare chest pressing deliciously against her bare breasts. He kissed her senseless while his free hand worked her pants. He shoved them down, along with her panties, just as she did the same to him. Picking her up, he settled her back against the tree, her legs wrapped around him, hovering at her entrance.

Kelli didn't know what he was waiting for, so she leaned forward, crushing her mouth to his, nipping his lip, and sliding fully down his length. They both held their breath, and bit back moans as they joined. Keeping their mouths fused together, Chris began moving.

He tried to be slow, to prolong it, but the small gasps coming from Kelli fueled his desire and his pace quickened. Kelli pulled away from him, and buried her face in his shoulder, biting her lip, as she felt the telltale tightening, and then she was over the edge. She clung to him, panting, as he thrust twice more, and he too buried his face in her shoulder as he reached the edge and plummeted over as well.

They stood there for a few long minutes, collecting themselves, before Kelli leaned back and looked at him. "I... I don't think I could live without this either. Without you, Chris," she said quietly. "God knows I tried."

He gently set her down and handed her her clothes before putting his own back on. When they both were presentable again he looked at her. "No one ever said life was easy. And the best things are usually hard. But they are worth it."

"I wasn't kidding, you know," she said quietly, sitting down and leaning back against the tree. "I do hear voices in my head. Not all the time, but it's like having the fucking devil and angel on my shoulders sometimes. The devil voice tells me I'm worthless. That no one could possibly want me, that I'm a fuck up, and that I should just find a way to kill myself. The angel voice tells me that I am worth something. That I'm not just Jess's little sister. That my life wasn't defined by my vengeance. When it gets really bad, I start screaming at myself to shut up." She lifted her eyes to meet his gaze. She wanted to see what he thought.

Chris looked at her. He didn't know what to say. "Kelli," he said finally. "I don't know the whole story. I hope that you'll be able to tell me it some day. But I do know that your life, and your self worth were not, and are not defined by your vengeance. You are so much more than that."

"You don't even know me, Chris," she said bitterly. "Amanda killed my sister. For no reason other than Jess was stupid, and in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jess could sense danger, you know. But she trusted Amanda. And because she trusted her, it cost her her life. I swore I would destroy Amanda. I planned it for decades. And I succeeded, Chris. And ever since then, I've been a mess. Oh sure, I tried to be normal. I worked for you, I dated your brother. But the only time I truly felt at peace, and whole, was working. With you." Kelli looked up at him, as realization dawned in her eyes.

"I waited for you to get off work yesterday, and I intended to... I don't even know. I had intended to make you see reason, hire me back. I needed that job, it kept me sane! Well you know what happened last night," she smiled slightly. "The voices came back after I left you. And Jade told me this morning... she told me that we belong together. She can sense a bond between us, something so strong, that no matter what we do, or try to put in between it, it's not going to break. I never knew Jade had a talent," she said absently. "But it seems Jade didn't know either, because neither of us have spent a lot of time around others."

Chris was silent through it all. Finally he reached out and pulled her up. He brought her into the fold of his arms, and kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry, Kelli. I'm sorry for everything you've had to deal with." He continued to hold her, and kiss her hair lightly. And after a few moments, Kelli let herself accept the comfort he offered and slid her arms around his waist, resting her head on his chest. She closed her eyes, and hoped that maybe life was turning around.