Note one; Neondomino pointed out that James and Lily should be around 27 in this fic, while Sirius is 21 according to my writing.
Earlier I mentioned Sirius guessed James around his age. I feel a 5 or 6 year age difference can be seen as guessing someone is your age.
Besides, I figure James would seem younger no matter what age :p
Note two; I chose not to go too graphic on this chapter. I tried, but in my opinion is doesn't suit the Remus I portrayed.
He is still a freshly divorced man who just found out he might like men.
I don't think it would work if he just very confidentially would jump in bed with Sirius and we would completely witness what they are doing.
I hope you can find yourself in my choice. I might give you a more spectacular ending though, if we'd reach a fascinating amount of reviews.
Say.. 60, at least?
'Just give me a moment.' Sirius excused himself and ran up the attic stairs. He quickly chucked his wand in the drawer of a little dresser Remus had move up and ran back down the stairs.
How am I ever going to explain you, you little bastard. He thought as he reached Remus' bedroom door that was only half open. Here we go.
To his surprise, Remus had managed to change into a pale plaid pajama in the few seconds he was gone. Sirius grinned wildly at the sight of the man standing barefoot in the most innocent looking pajamas he had ever seen. Habit? Or didn't he expect Sirius to come back?
'Oh god, it is awful isn't it.' Remus cringed as he plucked his shirt. 'I'm sorry, I've got to be the worst romantic that has ever walked planet earth.'
'Don't worry.' Sirius grinned. 'I happen to find this very sexy.' It wasn't even a lie. Looking at him in those pajamas did something to his stomach he wasn't familiar with. He could imagine how Remus might look in a few hours or the next morning. Ruffled hair, preferably the top half of his pjs gone.
He quickly discarded the thought that it was someone's father he was going to share his bed with.
This was Remus. A man that had been married before. That didn't stop Sirius from falling in love with him. A kid most certainly wouldn't. They'd figure that out later. Now it was time for exploring.
'I don't know what I'm supposed to do.' Remus said. Standing there in his pajamas he was the most attractive thing Sirius had ever seen. There was no way he could hide his half-hard cock beneath that soft, plaid fabric. Sirius' own cock was more than willing to be released from his tight jeans. Not yet. Sirius reached out his hand and Remus took hold of it.
'Do whatever you feel like doing.' He offered and the man with brown eyes took a deep, shuttering breath. 'It'll probably turn out for the best.'
He took a half-undetermined step, wrapped his arms around Sirius' waist and kissed him. It wasn't the kind of kiss they shared last night. It was a kiss that showed they knew they could do this and they should do it. A lot. It was deep and hungry and Sirius pressed himself as close to Remus as he could. Not because it was expected of him, but because he wanted to.
Sirius' hand moved up to the top button of Remus' pajama but Remus stopped him.
'Sirius..'
'I know.' Sirius smiled as he caressed the hand that stopped him. 'You are not flawless.' His finger traced a scar.
'It's ugly.' Remus stated.
'I want to get to know you.' Sirius softly pushed away the hand and brought his hands back up to the button. 'All of you. And I promise I will accept every single inch of it.'
He was sure Remus avoided his look as he unbuttoned the shirt. Was he afraid for Sirius' response?
To his own frustration that wasn't uncalled for. Sirius couldn't suppress a gasp as the shirt fell open and revealed a chest, full of scars. Remus' hands shot up and covered his chest with the fabric, trying to move out of Sirius' reach.
'This was a bad idea.' He said with a weird groan in the back of his throat.
'No.' Sirius said as he took hold of Remus' arm and pulled him back. 'No. Every single inch. Every single scar. I promise.' He wrapped his hands around Remus' wrist and forced the man to let go.
Reluctantly, Remus let his arms hang aside his body as he gave up the short struggle and Sirius moved his hands up and slowly slid the top of Remus' shoulders. He could feel the man trembling under his hands. So vulnerable. He let his fingertips travel down Remus' arms slowly until they reached his shaking hands and took a firm grasp on them. It was a perfect distraction to take in what he saw.
It was a lot more awful then he imagined it would be. And yet again, it wasn't. This was Remus. All he was and all Sirius would one day know about him. A secret that was just around the corner but written out on this body in a language he didn't understand. His skin was pale and littered with scars. So many small, silver scars. Some thicker and more prominent. But it wasn't all the man was. He was skinny but not enough to show muscles. He had brought shoulders but a slimmer waist. There was a soft trail of hairs running from his navel to the border of his trousers in a soft, almost blonde color.
Sirius let go of one of Remus' hands so his fingers could follow the trail. Remus let out a shivering breath. It made Sirius look op. In to the golden eyes that stared at him, pupils dilated from both arousal and fear. For a moment Sirius hesitated whether he should say something, but there were no words that could make this moment any better. Instead he bowed forward and kissed Remus. Not the hungry kiss from before but one that spoke that all was well, that he was still here and not frightened away by whatever it was that had maimed this man.
He could feel a short moment of hesitation on the other man his lips before he kissed back. A kiss that answered what Sirius had said. That he was willing to accept, perhaps in time, that Sirius could accept his secret and not be appalled by his exterior.
The one hand that was still held by Sirius' traveled up and buried itself in Sirius' curls as he kissed him. It was such a fragile kiss. Sirius' hands slowly shaped themselves around the man his waist.
Remus' unoccupied hand traveled towards the hem of Sirius' shirt, fumbling with it. Unsure whether he should take it off or not. So Sirius did himself. In one subtle move he took off his shirt, throwing it on the bed carelessly and revealed his own chest. Unblemished apart from a small scar on his stomach. Ivory pale and slightly muscled. Remus took it in as he himself had done earlier with the man's torso. He could see the fear die in the eyes. Desire took its place. Not lust but a deep, pure longing.
His hand caressed Sirius' flat chest, thumb touching a nipple.
'Missing something?' Sirius joked with a croaked voice and Remus softly pinched and sent a jolt of pleasure through Sirius' stomach.
'No.' Remus whispered so softly Sirius thought he could have imagined the man saying it. His golden eyes were eying his upper body with a look of nervous arousal. Which, somehow, was quite sexy. 'You are so beautiful. I can't see how I ever.. I really want to..' And he did.
'Remus.' Sirius gasped as the man slowly moved their crotches together, one hand on the small of his back, pressing them together as he softly kissed his neck.
'Is this good.' Remus mumbled, his breath tickling Sirius' neck and the little wet spots on it.
'So good.' Sirius muttered in between kisses. 'You are a natural. Now stop talking and keep doing whatever you feel like doing cause it's fucking fantastic.'
And so Remus did. He kept kissing his neck, the collarbone. He even pressed a little kiss on Sirius' jaw, causing the boy to shiver under his slightly calloused hands.
'Come.' Sirius took Remus' hand and led him to the bed. The man seemed to hesitate for a moment and Sirius smiled ensuring. 'I won't ask anything of you. Promise. Just come lie down with me.'
And so Remus did. There were a couple of inches between them and they were mostly caressing each other now. Hands touched, kneaded and sometimes accidently tickled all the skin they could reach. Scars were forgotten. Hesitation seemed forgotten. With every touch they somehow moved closer and in no time their skin touched and lips shared kisses. Soft, satisfied kisses.
Sirius could feel Remus' boner press against his leg. He guessed it was a very reasonable size.
He hesitated. Something that didn't go unnoticed by Remus.
'What's wrong.' He asked with a rough voice.
'I want to touch you so bad.' Sirius whispered as he pressed his nose in Remus' neck. 'But I don't want you to think it's a habit. Or that I'm a slut. Gods I feel pathetic.'
' I don't think you are a slut.'
'You don't?' Sirius snorted.
'No, of course not. If anything, I'm the pathetic one. 38 years old and never shared a bed with someone I actually wanted to be with.'
There was a short silence.
'So.. I guess this is a first for us both.' Sirius smiled, wondering if he would ever be his fulltime cocky self again. Remus smiled back, pulling Sirius towards him by his neck and pressing a kiss on his lips. Then he stared Sirius in the eye, a tad shy. Sirius never knew a shy man worked so much better from him than one that practically ripped the clothes from his body.
'I guess it is. Make it worth my while?'
Sirius' stomach did the thing again. Then he took a deep breath and decided it was time to do what he wanted to do. He gave Remus a firm push so the man fell on his back. Sirius, still wearing his jeans, straddled him, just below his crotch. He let his hands roam all over Remus' chest. The lights dimmed but both of them were too occupied to either realize or wonder how that had happened. Sirius bowed forward and kissed Remus. A hand buried itself in his curls, this time a bit firmer than before. Remus slightly opened his mouth and Sirius gladly entered.
It all got better from there. Sirius had no idea how long it took and he did, when it was done, not feel like a slut at all. It had been kind and gentle. As if it really had been his first time. It had not been quick, hard and un-personal. It had even been a little clumsy and uncomfortable at times. He had given Remus a hand job. The surprised arousal that drove the man to an orgasm had been more than enough to get himself done with a few simply strokes while Remus was still is post-coital bliss.
Remus stuttered an apology that he hadn't been able to return the favor. Sirius doubted whether the man would've wanted to, but promised he would get a chance soon. He could still see the look in the man his eyes when he drove him over the edge. He would gladly give Remus a chance to see that look in his eyes.
Now they were lying sweating and sticky against each other, attempting to regain their full consciousness and ability of speech. For a second Sirius wished he had his wand so he could quickly clean up this mess. Then he realized he had never lied down in someone's arm before while sticky with their sperm. And he decided he could live with that for once.
'Sirius..' Remus started but smiled politely as soon as the words left his mouth. 'Never mind, I shouldn't.'
'That was nothing like what I'm used to, if that is what you are trying to ask.'
Remus smiled.
'I didn't mean to be rude.'
'You are not. Not at all. In fact, I'll be frank with you.' Sirius flipped on his side to get a better look at his lover. 'I meet someone, we go to a motel, he fucks me and we part ways. Most of the time I don't even know their names. There was hardly ever any kissing involved and definitely not as much touching.'
'Well. I can honestly say I like touching you.'
'Likewise, mister Lupin. Likewise.'
'So..' Remus started as he carefully tapped his fingers to his own sticky stomach. 'I'm going to have a quick shower. I hope you don't mind I prefer to do that on my own for now.'
'Not at all.' Sirius smiled and stretched. It actually seemed a compliment the man didn't want to rush them into full nudity so fast. That was probably what being in a new relationship was like, he reckoned. Building up. Keeping things exited so you'd have something to discover for a little while longer. He loved the idea of being able to explore the enigma that was Remus Lupin for days and days. 'Not at all.' He repeated. 'I'll have a go when you are done.'
He never got to, though. While Remus was in the shower and Sirius inhaled the smell of the pillows deeply, they smelled like Remus, he fell a sleep before he even realized he was tired. He didn't notice Remus coming out of the shower in his pajama pants, hesitating for a moment but still putting on the shirt and buttoning it. His hand that reached to wake up Sirius and tell him he could go have his shower but finally settled for letting the sticky boy sleep. He tucked him in and stepped in bed himself. He gave the boy one last glance, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe he had just shared his bed with a boy and enjoyed it. Then he pulled turned the lights off, gave the black curls a quick kiss and rested his head on his pillow.