Remember when I said stuff got deleted? Maybe I didn't mention that. Well, anyhow, I found it, it was supposed to go in several chapters ago, but I just said to hell with it, I'm throwin' it in here before I lose it again. Which makes this a really long chapter!

"You sure you're okay with this?"

Caroline shrugged. "I got my bag."

Charlotte nodded. "That's right, you do."

"Why do you look so scared?"

Charlotte King stopped dead in her tracks and turned around.

"Who said I was?"

"No one. But you look it."

"Now why would I have any reason to be scared of anything? I run a damn hospital for crying out loud. People are scared of me. Why should anything scare me."

"That's what I just asked."

Charlotte raised her eyes heavenward, and continued walking. "Now you remember, Naomi Bennett- the one that lopped your hair off. You listen to her. You obey her. She's the one you listen to," she re-iterated. "She's the only one you have to listen to."

"Awesome!"

"Hey, I didn't say she's the only one you have to respect. I don't need to be getting calls about your butt acting a fool in that practice. Besides, you can always come down to my office- when I'm not there," she added bluntly.

Caroline just shrugged and struggled to keep up with her aunt. "And remember, you don't show emotion in front of these people."

"You're acting like I've never met them before in my life."

"Yes, well, I'm just making sure you remember yourself."

"Ow! God- damn it!" Caroline swore, threw her bag to the ground.

Charlotte swirved around, eyes wide as saucers, ready to rebuke the girl for cursing. Then she saw why she was cursing. With an expression both pained and pissed, the girl was pressing on her considerably swollen stomach, alternately trying to squish it, and hit it as one might swat a dog.

Embarrassed, Charlotte scooped up Caroline's bag, then gripped her arm. "Stop that!" She hissed. "You want someone to see you and call the cops? What you're doing is child-abuse!"

Caroline shook her off. "No, what you're doing to me is child abuse," she corrected. "I'm getting my ass beat here, from the inside which hurts way worse than someone wailin' on you from the outside, and you don't give a good god-damn."

"Luanne Caroline King, I will wash your mouth out with soap in plain view of everyone in that practice. You talk like that again, and you'll wish you hadn't."

Caroline squirmed in pain. Charlotte sighed in irritation, opened a bottle of pills and handed the kid two. "Here."

Caroline swallowed them. "They're not gonna help."

"Neither is you standing out here squirming like a fish on a hook." Tell one of those people at the practice to get you a hot water bottle. Tell that girl-boy. His lazy butt needs something to do I'm sure."

"Now look, I'm late," she pulled Caroline, still clutching her stomach along the sidewalk to the entrance doors. "The sooner you get up there the better." She pressed the elevator button, and as soon as the doors opened she pushed Caroline in, and her bag in after her. "Make sure you keep that bag to yourself."

"I know, I'm not stupid."

As the doors closed her in, Charlotte shouted, "What did I tell you about that mouth?!"

The second before the doors fully closed, Caroline rolled her eyes in answer. She saw her aunt's mouth and eyes open in shock just as the doors closed. She laughed all the way up.

_____________________________________________________________________

"I want to talk about what happened with Dell, and Cooper and Pete."

"Fine. No one's stopping you." She knew this wasn't going to go over well. There wasn't a single dish of food in sight.

Violet nodded in aquiesence. "I understand that you might not want to talk about it."

"You understand," she scoffed. "You don't understand anything."

"I want you to know, that you can say anything that you want to me. Anything. You won't get in trouble, I won't get mad, and I won't tell anyone what you say to me. I think you really need to talk, not just about what happened in the kitchen the other day, but what really happened to you."

"No."

"Holding it inside isn't going to help."

"Neither is letting it out."

"Talking won't change what happened to you, that's true. But it can, it will change" How could she explain it to her? It wouldn't change how she was feeling, not really. With an adult she could explain how the rape was not sex, but she didn't think it was truly appropriate to speak to Caroline about sex period. She seemed, overall, to be very sheltered and shy, easily embarrassed, though, like Charlotte she covered that emotion as not to appear weak.

"It just helps to talk about these things. We didn't get much of a chance to talk before. Did you get to use that punching bag of mine?"

She had. Briefly, after she and Aunt Charlotte had left her alone. She attacked the thing wildly until finding out too late the sudden movement caused her incredible pain in her sides. She'd crumpled to the floor crying in pain after only a couple of punches. Aunt Charlotte had come running back into the house like a woman possessed, and announced that she had over-exerted herself and that her body couldn't handle the additional muscle strain. Whatever the hell that meant.

"It wasn't very helpful," she grumbled, glaring at the floor.

"Oh. Well, there are other ways to"

"Look, I'm not going to feel better about this, okay? Because if your own family can attack and hurt you, then what's stopping anyone else?"

"I understand that when someone attacks you in a place that is supposed to be safe, you feel violated. Even if it hadn't been rape, Caroline, if someone had just broken into your house you'd feel violated. Someone went into your personal safe place and made it not safe anymore."

Caroline sighed and stared up at the ceiling until Violet Turner decided to stop talking. After all, Aunt Charlotte hadn't said to listen to her.

____________________________________________________________________________

Caroline was sitting in the waiting area of Oceanside Wellness, her back to the office desk, staring out the window. She was holding the same green beach tote she'd brought in her first day there.

Suddenly a huge Tupperware type of container hovered in front of her face. Caroline stared at it, wondering what the hell it was, and trying to see through it's opaqueness. After a moment, she realized that she was staring at a chocolate cake, and that the strange container must be some sort of a cake holder. She didn't know such a thing existed. She smiled. Cool.

Then she turned to see who was holding a cake in front of her face.

Dell stood there. With a sharp intake of breath she grimaced, looking at him with embarrassment and suspicion.

Dell smiled apologetically at her. "Hi, Caroline, I just wanted to apologize for startling you the other day. I just wanted to tell you"

She stood up then, lugging her tote bag, and looking at him warily, she walked sideways away from him and down the hall, so that she wouldn't have to take her eyes off of him.

"I have cake!" He called. "I made it for you!"

She pursed her lips. As much as she liked Dell, she knew she needed to keep him away from her. And if there was one thing she'd learned from her aunt, it was how to make people stay away from you and want to stay away from you.

"Men don't make cakes. But Aunt Charlotte said you're a girl, so maybe you do. You certainly do enough girl things. You're a nurse, and you do girl doctor stuff."

She wasn't sure if that had sufficiently offended him, but he answered,

"Fine. I'll put the cake away. Behind the desk. I'm manning the desk today since someone's out sick. I'll be there the whole time. With the cake. So….you have to get to me to get the cake." His ultimatum.

She glared at him, still edging away. I'll get that cake if I want that cake. He has no idea who he's dealing with.

If he thought that was going to work, she considered, he didn't know her at all. Above all else, Caroline knew how to be patient. Still, she didn't trust him, cake or no cake, and she didn't plan on staying anywhere near the lounge if that's where Dell was.

Oof!"

Caroline gasped in fear, and dropped her bag to the floor. She berated herself then for not looking the other way, as apparently Dell was sneakier than she thought, and had gone around the other way. Without looking sideways, she raised a fist.

"Hey!" A warm hand grabbed her wrist firmly, and Caroline realized it was not Dell she'd bumped into.

She turned her head and looked at Naomi in surprise.

Naomi grabbed her by the arm. "Well, since I have you here," without waiting for a word from her, or allowing her time to pick up her bag, she pulled her into the nearest empty room.

Naomi closed the door behind them.

"I didn't do anything," the girl asserted.

"I didn't say that you did. But since you brought it up- did you?"

She shook her head. The look of apprehension and childish fear in her eyes was rare and cute. Naomi smiled. The appropriate amount of fear, she noted, as one could be if afraid of a school teacher. Not outright terror, as she'd been after the incident with Dell, Pete, and Cooper. She didn't entirely believe the girl, but as she couldn't think of what the girl might have done or might be planning on doing, she let it go.

Curiosity getting the better of her, not that she entirely believed that Charlotte King would actually take a girl who, from the looks of it was about six months along to get an abortion, she stuck a hand out and placed it firmly on the girl's stomach. Caroline made a face of disgust and backed away at the contact.

Naomi nodded to herself. "You can go now," she smiled. This time Caroline backed away, opened the door, looked both ways this time, then backed out the door and grabbed her bag.

She looked down the hall. Everyone had patients in their office or was in their office working. No refuge there. Caroline sighed. I can go back to the waiting area. Dell doesn't bother me.

Caroline sat back down, noticing that Dell was back at the desk, and the couple who had been seated by her before were now gone. In fact, everyone was gone. She was the only person sitting in the waiting area.

"I know you're getting hungry about now," she heard Dell's voice call to her. "Cake is right over here." She could then hear him patting the cake container as though it were a dog. She sighed aloud and rolled her eyes.

You wouldn't say that if you knew anyone else could hear you. Like Violet Turner. Cuz she'd tell you that your bribe is stupid. She glared. She was going to snap something she was thinking, but then she realized she might not be able to. Dell worked there, which meant he was an adult. But he wasn't. He was just a big kid. Which meant he was a kid, like her. So, did she have to treat him with traditional respect, which she had let slip since moving here, or not? She mulled this over till she realized she couldn't figure out the answer on her own. So she grabbed the cell phone Aunt Charlotte had given her.

"Do I have to respect Dell?"

"What? You call me- I think it's some sort of an emergency, and you call me to ask a question like that?"

"Yes. Do I?"

"Do you what?"

"Do I have to respect Dell?"

"Who?"

"Dell. Dell Parker."

"Who's that?"

She sighed audibly. "You know, Dell, the one that sits at the desk at Oceanside Wellness when he's not in his office. The nurse?"

"Ooh! The girl! Okay, now we're on the same page."

"Okay, so, do I? Do I have to be respectful to him?"

"Has he done anything to you?" She asked sharply. "You know I'll kill him," she added.

"I know. And no. But do I? He's a kid!"

Charlotte fought off laughter and bit back her initial response which was identical to her own opinion- no.

"Those are the rules Luanne. I didn't make them. But you do have to follow them."

Caroline sighed in disgust and hung up the phone. She could hear that Dell hadn't left the desk.

She sat there, glaring at Dell, then pushing herself up off the chair, she headed to Addison Montgomery's office. Dr. Montgomery had walked right past her moments before and was gone to the hospital, probably to work with Aunt Charlotte, she smiled. But she knew she'd be back soon.

It wasn't as though going into the doctors' offices was a new thing. Having been there over a month now, she was given reign to pretty much do as she pleased. And she knew that Dr. Naomi Bennett had insisted that whenever she was tired, which had been an awful lot, that she go into whichever office wasn't occupied and sleep on their couch. Nearly all the offices had one. And she knew Dr. Montgomery's did, since she'd slept in there once. She didn't like her. She just didn't. Dr. Montgomery certainly didn't give her any reason to, and was just barely civilly polite to her. Caroline felt sorry for the woman's patients. Even Aunt Charlotte could be nicer than she was. Well, could fake it anyway. She couldn't imagine what she'd done to make Dr. Montgomery not like her, but that really didn't matter. Dr. Montgomery had something she wanted.

Book first, she told herself. Cake later.

"Aunt Charlotte?"

"Huh?" She asked, not looking up from the pile of papers in front of her. She was in fact sprawled out on the floor. Caroline couldn't sprawl on the floor anymore if her life depended on it, so she sat on the couch.

"What does it mean when someone violates you?"

She put down her papers and sat up. "What?" She asked sharply.

"What does it mean when someone violates you?"

"Who have you been talking to? Who at that practice has been talking to you?"

"No one. I just wanted to know what it meant.I mean, I kind of know what it means, but I just want to be sure."

Charlotte pursed her lips together in disapproval, then nodded her head toward a bookcase. "Dictionary's over there. Look it up."

Caroline sighed loudly.

"You sigh too damn much," Charlotte commented as Caroline pushed herself off the couch and stomped over to the bookshelf, glaring. She grabbed the heavy book in both hands, then let it drop to the couch, where she noisily flipped through the pages. When she found the word, she slammed the book shut, and threw it on the table top.

"Happy now?"

"No." She crossed her arms and glared at her aunt.

Caroline stared off into space, thinking about the things she'd seen in Dr. Montgomery's office.

"Aunt Charlotte?" She asked.

Charlotte kept her visage facing outward, merely cutting her eyes in Caroline's direction as response.

Caroline saw her aunt's ramrod straight stiff posture, and sighed aloud again.

"Nevermind," she whispered.

Charlotte looked at Caroline once the girl'd looked away. Hell, she wasn't an idiot. She knew what the girl wanted to talk about. She shook her head. No, it would only upset her. She stood up and moved to the kitchen for a glass of brandy.
"Come on, kid, let's eat."

"Can we order pizza?"

Charlotte shrugged. Sounded good to her, she sure as hell didn't feel like cooking. She tossed the phone to Caroline. "Number's programmed in."

Caroline grabbed the phone, happy again, while Charlotte went in search of booze.

__________________________________________________________________________

"Why'd you move out here?" Caroline asked the question while trying to dislodge the cheese from her bite of pizza.

"Is it the same reason Momma left home?"She continued in the same breath, "How come Uncle Landry and Uncle Duke never left like that? How come they were happy there?"

Cuz they're drunks. "Because they're men, honey. Dixie is more a man's world, than anywhere else in the country. All that mess didn't bother them."

"Oh."

"But you came out here, and you're not happy here either."

"Who says I'm not."

"I do." She shook her head. "You have all this money, and respect and power, Aunt Charlotte- most women never get all three." She swallowed her bite of pizza, took a drink of water and looked at her earnestly.

"Caroline," she glared down at her pizza slice, "I don't want to talk about it." The truth was, she didn't have all three. And she sorely lacked one thing that Caroline didn't think to mention that was worth having above all of that.

"Kay," she answered meekly. She took another bite of pizza and the two ate in silence for a while. But only a while. The kid was on a talking streak.

"Why aren't you happy here?"

The day's board meeting re-played in her mind. She hated board meetings. Especially when people who had no idea what it was like to run a hospital told her how to run her hospital. She took a drink of water to try to calm herself down, and set the glass back hard on the table. "Luanne, do you have any idea how difficult it is to be the chief of staff of a major hospital, being as young as I am? I realize to you I do not seem all that young- but I am. In comparison to the usual, I sure as hell am. I can't be nice to anyone, because I would look weak. I cannot be friends with anyone because you cannot be friends with your subordinates. And like it or not just about everyone at that damn hospital and at my practice are my subordinates. The ones that aren't are too old for consideration."

Caroline just stared at her open mouthed. "Oh." Clearly more information than she'd wanted.

"So…you don't have any friends?"

"Can't."

Caroline's mouth opened in sympathy. She shook her head sadly. "So you have"

"I have myself," she answered curtly. "And if you can't take care of yourself by yourself, and make it by yourself- well no one is going to do it for you, and you shouldn't expect them to. You let anyone do something for you, man or woman, and they expect something in return."

Caroline looked at her with such sadness and pity it made Charlotte sick. "Don't feel sorry for me," she muttered bitterly, "feel sorry for yourself." Then, to give Caroline something else to occupy her mind with, she shoved her glass and the bottle of bourbon at her. The kid's eyes lit up, and she grabbed the bottle, pouring some into the glass.

"Hey, that's enough!" Charlotte warned her. Caroline placed the bottle back on the table and put the stopper in. Caroline grinned like the child that she was and took a gulp. Immediately her face contorted in revoltion.

"Don't you even think about spitting that out." Charlotte warned her. "You put that in your mouth, now you swallow it."

Caroline's cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunks, her face red. Painfully she swallowed then started coughing, and reached for her glass of water on the table.

"That'll make you think twice about drinkin' bourbon," Charlotte smiled.

Caroline coughed and gagged, when she finally could speak again she demanded, "How can you drink that stuff?"

"Used to it."

Caroline made a face. "Yuck!"

Charlotte laughed. "Oh, you shoulda seen the look on your face!" She laughed again then added, "If I'd thought better of it, I'd have grabbed a camera."

Caroline glanced warily at the half full glass on the table. She sighed in resignation. "Crap," she muttered.

Charlotte laughed again.

Caroline bit her lip in thought. She looked at Charlotte. "You have ice cream?"

"Yeah."

"Chocolate syrup?"

"Yup."

"You got whip cream and cherries, too?"

"Double yup." Hell, the kid didn't need to know why she had all those things, did she?

Caroline grinned triumphantly and left the dining room, only to return with a large bowl of ice cream, topped with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a single red cherry. She plopped down in her seat, and placed the bowl in front of her, then grabbed her glass of bourbon.

"I know how to make it taste good!" She announced, smiling as broadly as she had the day before, joy nearly popping out of her face. Caroline poured the glass over the ice cream, and looked at Charlotte for approval. "See?"

Charlotte had been watching the girl with a smile, but her smile vanished looking at Caroline's gleeful face. Her joy, at once again doing the only thing she could to make the best of a bad situation. Charlotte shook herself hard, and stood up. "I got something to do for work. You keep on here- don't drink any more of that," she nodded to the bottle, "I'll be back directly."

She walked quickly down the hall, past Caroline's room, the windows still covered. Nothing for the girl had changed, they had only gotten worse. Before she was just so disgusted and ashamed that she wouldn't change clothes or bathe. Now she did, but as the baby grew the amount of pain she was in from the pregnancy increased. Charlotte wasn't blind. She saw Caroline flinching in pain, holding her stomach, sometimes even doubled over in pain.

"Where the hell is the joy in this, huh?" She demanded. "The fucking blessing of this 'blessed event'."

She slammed her bedroom door harder than she intended to, then not caring she flung herself onto her bed and sobbed.

The things that you're all wanting to know will be addressed in the next chapter. And it's gonna be a doozy! Lol. Now you have to review. Yes, I said have to. I tried to shorten it and cut out a lot because of what I added- did I make it too confusing to follow??