AN: I wasn't expecting this chapter to be as easy to write as it was, but it just kind of happened and I'm really happy with it, so here you go. It's also a long one, cause you're all worth it :)

One quick and shameless plug, in case anyone is interested in some SansxReader 'adventures', my other fic Movie Night has a second chapter now, so go check that out when you're done here :)

Chapter Fourteen - Some Peace and Quiet. And Noodles

Sans had just settled into the couch for a quiet afternoon of playing video games after seeing Frisk off - which had been even more difficult than he expected, when there was a very loud knock at the door, followed by it being slamming open.

"PAPYRUS! I NEED YOUR HELP!" Undyne called.

Well. So much for quiet. "I think he's in the laundry room, he might not be able to hear you." Sans called when Undyne kept yelling. "And close the door, there's a draft."

"Some fresh air would do you good!" Undyne replied, but returned to the kitchen to close the door.

Papyrus emerged from whatever part of the house he had previously been inhabiting. "IS UNDYNE HERE? I THOUGHT I HEARD HER."

"Nah, must be your imagination."

"Who are you calling imaginary?" Undyne called from the kitchen.

"Did you hear something, Pap?"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, SANS? UNDYNE IS RIGHT THERE."

"You're so cute with your imaginary friends, Pap."

"SANS. YOU'RE NOT MAKING SENSE."

"You're the one talking to people that aren't there."

"I'll show you not there!" Undyne stormed over, and suddenly he was aloft, Undyne having picked him up by his ankle.

"Would you look at that? I learned to levitate."

Undyne groaned in frustration and shook him a little.

"Woah there. I really uh - ouch! - need to get a grip on my levitating skills. It sure would be neat if I learned how to put myself down." He really needed to learn how to quit, but today was not that day.

"Sans! I did not come here to be ignored."

"Then what did you come here for? I mean." Well there went the joke. "Hey Undyne, could you put me down? You're really rattling my bones here."

Luckily, the couch was soft and she wasn't holding him up that high, because Undyne decided dropping him was the best way to respond to his pun.

"UNDYNE! CAREFUL!" Horrified, Papyrus ran over to him. "SANS. ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I'm okay, Papyrus, put me down, I'm alright."

"Heh. Sorry nerd." Undyne said sheepishly.

"I'm stronger than I used to be, it's alright." Once upon a time when his soul was weaker, that fall might have actually hurt, but a few years under the sun had changed that.

"IF YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE OKAY.." There was a concerned spark of orange in the back of Papyrus' eyesockets, and Sans glowed his own blue to comfort him.

"Pinky-bone swear, Pap. I'm okay. The couch is pretty soft, I would know."

Papyrus set him carefully back down on the couch. He had been more protective of Sans than usual since he had cracked his skull a few days ago, and while he was fine now, he knew his brother really didn't want to see that happen again. "I WOULD WORRY ABOUT YOU LESS IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A COUCH POTATO."

"It wouldn't kill you to go for a run with us every once in a while, you know." Undyne winked.

"I don't want to risk it. Anyway. Didn't you say you needed help with something?"

"Right! Uh. Could you two please turn your eyes off first? It's starting to freak me out." It always bothered her for some reason. Of course, so did jack o'lanterns. Glowing things, he guessed.

Papyrus dulled his glow immediately, but Sans only brightened his.

"Ugh. Sans. At least glow the other one, that blue is freaky when the other one is dark."

"Glowing both of them takes too much effort." In all honesty, the other one just didn't glow, but not from lack of trying.

"I'm surprised you get out of bed some days, Sans."

"If I don't, Paps comes in and flips the mattress on me."

"NYEH-HEH-HEH."

Undyne snorted. "Good job Papyrus." She offered him a high five, and Sans wasn't sure how the resulting collision didn't break their wrists.

"SO WHAT DID YOU NEED HELP WITH?"

"Well." She paused. "Sans, don't you dare laugh."

Oh this had to be good. "I'll try my best."

"I mean it."

"Sentries honor."

"BUT YOU AREN'T A SENTRY ANYMORE."

There was also no honor in being a sentry, but he wasn't about to say that to his brother. "I won't laugh, okay?"
Undyne seemed unconvinced, but decided to tell anyway. "I um. I forgot to get Alphys a Gyftmas present." She said quietly. "So you lucky nerds get to go shopping with me!"

Oh it was so hard not to laugh. "You forgot to get Alphys a gift? You know, your girlfriend of almost ten years, who probably had your gift planned and ordered three months ago?"

"Uh. Yeah."

He was going to laugh so hard when he told Frisk about this later, and that was going to make up for how hard he was trying not to laugh now. "Kay. Good job. You and Papyrus have fun at the overcrowded mall."

"Well that's just the thing. Remember when you and Alphys made Papyrus and me swear we would never go to the mall alone again, especially during holiday season?"
Dammit. Maybe he could - no. Absolutely not. "Ugh. Fine. But you are buying me a pretzel. Scratch that, do they still have that noodle place attached to the food court?"

"THAT PLACE IS WEIRD, THEY DON'T HAVE TOMATO SAUCE FOR THEIR NOODLES." That's because it was Mongolian, but he couldn't get Papyrus to understand that not all countries originally had spaghetti.

"I'll buy you lunch, Sans. Let's just get going."

The car ride to the mall was like every other car ride with Undyne and Papyrus, with Sans insisting upon driving and Undyne and Papyrus sitting in the back of his car and belting Disney movie songs. Their movie of choice today, and while their rendition of "Be a Man" was a little out of tune, they certainly made up for it in enthusiasm. But of course, the thing Undyne and Papyrus always had in excess was enthusiasm.

Finding parking took forever, of course, it was the day before Gyftmas eve, and so every other monster (and human) that lived in Newest Home that had forgotten to shop for someone important was there. They managed to find a spot close to side the food court was on, however, and Sans was pleased to see that the noodle place he liked seemed to be open. It was going to be packed, but there wasn't a long line in existence that would discourage him from noodles.

"So I vote we get lunch first and go from there."

"SANS. WE HAD BREAKFAST AN HOUR AGO."

"What about second breakfast?" Curse Alphys for making him watch that movie.

"THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN FOOD."

He stopped in his tracks. "Are you sick, Paps? Here, lemme feel your forehead."

"BROTHER I AM FINE. WE HAVE TO COMPLETE OUR IMPORTANT SHOPPING MISSION. THEN WE CAN GO TO THE WEIRD NOODLE PLACE."

It was probably for the better that they got food last anyway, as that was the only reason he had consented to go on this ridiculous mission. "So, have you thought about what you want to get for her?" Sans asked once they managed to get inside. The place was a bit of a madhouse, like he had expected, so having a game plan of sorts would be optimal.

"Um."

"Oh come on. It's Alphys. I got her a Turtwig plushie." Turtwig was her favorite fourth generation starter, and she would physically fight anyone who told her it was a bad choice.

"That's the problem! I thought about getting her some dumb nerd thing like always, but she always gets me the most meaningful things and I can't think of anything that meaningful to give her!"

She had a point. Alphys did give the most thoughtful gifts. "Maybe it's a matter of how you look at things. The 'dumb nerd things' are meaningful to Alphys, aren't they?"

"THAT IS. ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD ADVICE SANS."

"I'm good for something, sometimes. Anyway. Why don't we start at the comic book store? It is right over there, after all."

"You just want to get this over with so you can have noodles."

"You caught me. But it is worth a look, right?"

"I suppose. I just want to give her something really great, you know? Cause she's important to me. And stuff."

"You're so romantic."

"SPEAKING OF ROMANCE." Oh no. "THERE'S A JEWELRY STORE HERE SANS. ARE YOU GOING TO BUY FRISK AN ENGAGEMENT - UM, WHAT KIND OF JEWERLY DO HUMANS GIVE TO PROPOSE?"

Sans felt his cheeks burn. "Rings. And Pap. No."

"PAPYRUS! You're a genius!" Undyne exclaimed. "I can propose to Alphys! She loves that sort of mushy romantic stuff!"

"Uh, I don't know if you're looking at this the right -" But Undyne had sprinted off in the direction of the jewelry store, with Papyrus in her wake. This is why they weren't allowed to shop alone.

"Undyne, let's think about this first." He said, having shortcutted himself to the store first - there was no way he was running in the crowded mall; people might jump out of the way for Undyne and her war cry, but he didn't think the same thing would work for him.

"What is there to think about? I love her and I want have a family with her, I'm totally going to propose."

Right. Monsters only considered marriage if they wanted to have kids. Dating was totally fine when you're able to know for certain that you're soulmates, but somewhere along the way, monsters had looked at human marriage customs and decided that was optimal for starting a family. "Have you even talked about this with Alphys?"

"A little. She didn't seem too interested in the idea of having kids, but it's totally because we aren't married, right?"

"I don't know Undyne, I think you might not want to make this decision so quickly."

"Just because you're too scared to propose to Frisk doesn't mean I should be."

"Undyne, that's completely different. How long have her and I been together? Two days?" Had it only been that long?

"YOU ARE HAVING A KID TOGETHER."

"That's irrelevant, Papyrus." It wasn't though. "And this isn't about Frisk and me. Undyne, are you certain this is what Alphys would want?" He wasn't sure why he was trying to talk Undyne out of this, for all he knew Alphys could be hoping Undyne would propose, but something told him that she really needed to think this through. The day before Gyftmas eve was not the optimal time to be making life decisions.

"Of course it is! She loves mushy romantic gestures like that."

"A proposal is more than a romantic gesture. It's an important commitment, and I don't know if you're thinking this though properly."

"So you're qualified to give romantic advice now?"
That was it. He was done. "Okay, fine. It's your life. I'm going to go get a slushy. Come get me when you're done." Despite his better judgement, he turned and left Undyne and Papyrus to their own devices. How much trouble could they get into in a ring store - okay, fine. He'd find a bench with a view of the store to keep an eye on them, but he was too angry to hear Undyne's voice at the moment.

As he sipped his frozen orange drink, he tried his best to calm down. Undyne could get on his nerves, but she usually didn't make him that upset.

Should he propose to Frisk? It was traditional - by both human and monster standards - to get married before you have kids, but a week ago Sans had still been too chicken to even ask Frisk on a date, so who was he to even consider marriage? Would they even be together if the whole baby thing hadn't happened?

Probably not. He had promised himself that he was going to say something to her, but he probably would have messed it up in some way. Even if she was his soulmate. What his soul thought it was doing thinking he deserved someone like her, he didn't know, but it seemed to be enough for her.

There was also, of course, monster tradition. Monsters always got married before they had children together, it was just the way things were done. A proposal of marriage meant, like Undyne had said, 'I want to have a family with you' - and what had Frisk said the other day, that she kept imagining them as some sort of family, right?

Okay. Maybe he was a little afraid of commitment. And change, that too. That could be the thing about the exchange with Undyne that he had gotten so upset about. Alphys and Undyne getting married and having kids, Frisk and him having kids - a kid, singular, it was an awful lot really fast.

Another thing that had happened too fast was he had drank his entire slushy. His skull felt like it was made of ice and his teeth wouldn't stop chattering. Closing his eyes for just a moment - he didn't want something to happen to Papyrus while he wasn't paying attention - he put his head in his hands.

"Looks like you're really a numbskull now." He heard Undyne cackle. Were they done ring shopping already?

"You're one to talk." He murmured without looking up. "Done already?" He was hoping for a little more time to cool off. He could manage though. He'd have to, sparring in public was frowned upon and he'd probably lose, he couldn't risk using his blasters with so many humans around, after all.

"Yep! We found the perfect ring! She's going to love it!"

"I'm sure. Can we get food now?" He wasn't even going to breach the subject again, especially not after she had spent who knows how much on an engagement ring. Hopefully she and Alphys didn't have a joint bank account.

Wait. Since when did he care?

"ACTUALLY. I REALIZED THAT I FORGOT TO GET A GIFT FOR FRISK."

Was he really the one that had remembered to shop for everyone this year? He deserved a medal. "Alright, but you can't get her an engagement ring."

"I'll LEAVE THAT TO YOU. NYEH-HEH-HEH."

"Right. Um, we could go to that fandom store she likes? The one that sells all the Harry Potter and Supernatural stuff?" He was pretty certain that was where she had gotten him the Hufflepuff scarf she had given him at his and Papyrus' 'birthday' party last year.

"ACTUALLY, I WAS THINKING WE COULD GO TO THE TOY STORE, AND I COULD GET HER SOMETHING FOR THE BABY."

"That a great idea, bro." In fact, Sans was thinking about getting something of that sort as well, because the gift he had gotten her was actually somewhat immature. She'd still love it, of course, but he wanted to get her something else. Or maybe he just liked buying her things, he wasn't sure.

"I AM THE BEST UNCLE EVER, AFTER ALL."

After an hour in the toy store, and half an hour in Baby Gap, Papyrus still hadn't found anything worthy of his amazing niece or nephew. Sans had, however, found a onesie that had a skeleton pattern that Papyrus had passed up. He knew he'd be buying more baby things with Frisk soon (a thought that he only found slightly terrifying), so he didn't want to get too much now without her approval, but he hoped she'd appreciate the gesture.

However, when Undyne held up a onesie that read "I love my Godmother" and gave him her best impression of a pleading look, Sans decided it was time to try another store. "How about you make her a teddy bear?"

"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!" Papyrus loved Build-a-Bear, so whenever he was having trouble deciding what to get someone, that's what Sans always suggested. In fact, he was pretty certain that Papyrus had made Alphys a different kind of bear in a lab coat for the last three years. It was a walrus, a dragon, and a cat, if he remembered correctly.

Maybe Alphys was hard to shop for.

The line at Build-a-Bear, however, made Sans wish he had suggested something else, but there was no turning Papyrus back now. That noodle place had better be on top of their game today, because Sans was going to need it after enduring that long of a line with Papyrus and Undyne. Who were bickering, by the way, at the top of their lungs - not like they ever did things quietly - about whether Mulan or Lady and the Tramp was the best Disney movie.

"Mulan is about honor! You just like Lady and the Tramp because there's spaghetti in it!"

"IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY!"

"You don't even like dogs!"

"I'D LIKE THEM BETTER IF THEY DIDN'T STEAL MY ATTACKS! I- I LIKE LESSER DOG!"

"Lesser Dog isn't in Lady and the Tramp!"

"HE COULD HAVE BEEN! I BET HE'S A GREAT ACTOR!"

"Hey Papyrus, look, they have a Toothless plushie. Do you remember going to see that movie?" He cut in, hoping to distract the two of them.

"A DRAGON PLUSHIE WILL SCARE THE BABY, SANS!"

"No it won't, we'll teach it to be fearless, like me!" Undyne exclaimed. For some reason, Papyrus' yelling never hurt his head, but Undyne's did. Maybe it was a matter of perspective.

After all, the two of them were great - literally in his brother's case, but depending on the situation, spending time with the two of them felt more like babysitting than anything.

Just then, the perfect thing caught his eye. "You could get her a bunny."

"LIKE FLUFFY BUNNY?"

"Yeah, she'll love that." Frisk would love anything Papyrus got her, after all. It was one of the things he loved about her.

"WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BOOKSTORE AFTER THIS. DO YOU THINK THEY'LL HAVE FLUFFY BUNNY BOOKS THERE?"

Sans really hoped so. He didn't want to have to drive all over town looking for a Fluffy Bunny book today, but to make Papyrus happy, that would be what his day was looking like. "We'll have to see."

Papyrus took his time picking out the perfect bunny - there were two to choose from, after all - the brown one looked more like Fluffy Bunny, but the white one was 'fluffier'. "WHAT DO YOU THINK, UNDYNE?"

"The brown one, definitely."

"HMM. I AGREE. THAT WAY IT MATCHES THE BOOK."

Next came stuffing, and the heart ceremony, of course. The stuffed animal needed a good "soul" after all, and Papyrus chose a bright red heart to go in the bunny. Sans had seen Pap do the heart ceremony so many times, that he was surprised when his brother tried to pass the little fabric heart off to him.

"YOU SHOULD MAKE THE WISH FOR IT."

"No way Pap, it's your gift. It means more that way."

"THIS IS TRUE. AS THE BEST UNCLE EVER, I CANNOT RISK LETTING YOU MAKE THE WISH."

"Hey, I can make good wishes." Especially for his own kid.

"I don't know Sans, you might wish that they not look like you." Undyne teased.

He couldn't even get offended at that because it was something he was hoping for. "Well, that goes without saying. Make your wish though Pap, there's other people in line."

"YOU CAN'T RUSH PERFECTION, SANS."

"Sounds like someone has been here before." The kind looking cat-ish monster running the stuffing station said.

"We've only been here a dozen times or so." Sans responded.

"I think I saw you two in here a couple weeks ago. Who is this one for?"

"MY NEPHEW! OR NIECE. WE'RE NOT SURE YET. BUT MY BROTHER AND HIS GIRLFRIEND ARE HAVING A BABY AND IT IS TAKING FOREVER TO GET CUTE ENOUGH TO BE BORN."

"It's only been a couple of days, Papyrus."

"NOT IF YOU COUNT ALL THE DAYS BEFORE IT WAS A MONSTER."

"Color me confused?" The cat-monster, her nametag read Violet, but her fur was red, asked.

"It's a bit of a long story." Sans said quickly. "DO you have your wish yet, bro?"

"YES. I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED ON THE PERFECT WISH."

"Alright, do you have you wish in your head?" Red Violet asked, and Papyrus nodded. "Make it the biggest thought in your head because it's super important. Now take your heart, hold it tight, and hold the heart up to head so that the wish you're thinking of goes straight from your brain to the heart!"

As Papyrus did as instructed, Sans noted on the fact that the wish ceremony seemed to get cheesier every year, and the fact that Violet had not changed any of the instructions to match the fact that Papyrus was a skeleton, like the last girl had. Which was actually quite admirable.

With the heart ceremony completed (the girl forgot 'rub it on your shoe so it has soul' - not that Sans was going to admit he had the thing memorized) it was time for the third most important decision. Stuffing.

"Alright, is this going to be a super firm or super plushy bunny?"

"HMM.."

"You should make it super firm pap, after all, Frisk is used to cuddling with this bonehead." Undyne teased, giving Sans a nudge.

"IT'S NOT FOR FRISK, IT'S FOR THE BABY."

"Isn't Frisk the King and Queen's daughter?"

"OF COURSE SHE IS. WHY?"

"Well, she's human, right?"

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE ASKING OBVIOUS QUESTIONS."
Sans felt his cheeks burn a little, but he wasn't certain why. "Like I said. Long story. Um. She'd probably like a plushy bunny, bro."

"YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT."

"Plushy it is then? Alright." She took a moment to fill it with stuffing, then offered it to Papyrus. "How's this?"

He gave it a good snuggle before answering. "IT'S ALMOST AS PERFECT AS ME!"

As he watched his brother 'wash' the bunny in the fake sink after it was sewn up, Sans made a mental note to take Papyrus back here to make a stuffed animal for himself at some point, as he realized Papyrus had never kept one of his creations. Of course, that was just the way Papyrus was, but it would be fun to see what he picked out for himself.

The clothing selection, of course, would be that part that really stood between Sans and his noodles. Papyrus, however, surprised him by choosing a simple blue bowtie, and after that the 'birth certificate' and paying for it took no time at all, and they were off to the bookstore.

"THERE'S MORE THAN ONE FLUFFY BUNNY BOOK?" Papyrus exclaimed, having found an entire box set in the children's section. "SANS! YOU SAID THERE WAS ONLY ONE."

"I guess I was wrong, bro."

"WE HAVE TO GET HER ALL OF THEM, OF COURSE!"

Sans would also, of course, be stopping back at a later date to get the entire box set for his brother. It was inevitable that he find out there was an entire series, after all. First things first, however, it was time for noodles.

Well, after he lived through the line to the register. It was only as long as the entire store.

Reader poll! We haven't done that in a while and I love reading your responses. What Hogwarts house would you put Sans in (and what is your house as well)? I called him a Hufflepuff, not only because it's my house, but because friendship and good food are what's important to him. If you've got a different opinion though, let me hear it :)

Also, the Disney song thing may have been inspired by a youtube video I watched, so I gotta give credit where credit is due. So if you want to hear Undyne sing "Be a Man" and Pap sing "Bella Notte" (the spaghetti scene song) look up "Supershadicx250" on YouTube and check out their Disney song challenge video, and all their videos really cause they're kinda great. I'd post a link but I don't think you can do that in a chapter?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed, and please be sure to review and tell me what you think!

purrs,

TigerLily