Magus opened his mouth to argue, but then realized he had no proper response. "All right, Amphibian," he finally said. "Tell me what I need to know, and I mean on no uncertain terms. I came to you for help and I intend to get it. You're the closest any of us have to a Prince Charming, and thus, you are my only choice for a teacher."

"To be quite honest, I believe thou'rt beyond my power," Frog scoffed.

"Oh, how very helpful. She hates me, you know. Perhaps I might convince you with a little pain... Sir Froggy?"

"And for good reason!" Frog snapped. "Thy manners are condescending at best, thy words near always biting and cold. There is nary a time when thou'rt not looking down on another. Thou must learn gentle words, respect for thy comrades, and above all, learn to forgive."

"Fine words for someone you've never forgiven," said Magus with a sneer.

"Thine tongue is sharper than that of the most shrewish woman," scolded Frog. "Soften thy words."

"Will you stop finding faults?" Magus's mouth curled into a sneer. "Her tongue's as sharp!"

"Thou asked for assistance, and assistance is what I give. Thou'rt far too easily angered." Frog crossed his arms and looked away.

"Would it kill you to find a single redeeming quality?"

"The truth?" said Frog, looking back over his shoulder. He turned away again, and said, "Thou haven't a one."

"Damn it, Amphibian, I wanted help, not insults!" Magus hissed, keeping his voice down so as not to wake Lucca. "Now, you tell me right now what I can do to win her over, all right?" There was a decidedly dangerous note in Magus's voice, and a few blue sparks danced around his right hand.

Frog was slient.

Magus sighed and extinguished his sparks. "...Please?" he finally added.

Frog smiled almost mischievously as he turned around. "Thou'rt learning already."

Magus was baffled as Frog searched through his haversack. Finding what he sought, Frog stood up, and presented Magus with a leather-bound volume. "Read this," he instructed. "It is the Knight's Codex. Hope to the powers that be that the chapters on courtly behavior manage to make an imprint on thee. I shall return to my repose. Observe my actions on the morrow." With no further words, Frog returned to his bedroll, leaving Magus standing alone with the book.

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Magus woke the next morning to Frog's elbow in his ribs. "Wake up," Frog ordered. "On thy feet, wizard. I haveth more instructions for thee, and I doubt thou wantst me to give them in Miss Lucca's wakeful presence."

Magus opened his eyes just wide enough to glare at Frog. "Prod me again, Amphibian, and it'll be for the last time." It was an empty threat, given his continued need for Frog's instruction. He alighted on the ground. "What do you want?"

Frog glanced over to Lucca, then looked back to Magus. "I have told thee already, soften thy tongue," he admonished. "Now, when she wakes, I shalt demonstrate proper behavior. Learn from it."

Magus gave a gesture of tacit agreement.

"And one more matter," said Frog. "I shan't do this for nothing. Thou must do all I tell thee, else I shall reveal everything before its time."

Magus started to argue, but realized Frog had the upper hand. Reluctantly, he agreed.

Lucca rolled over and grunted. "Where's the food?" she asked, almost before even opening her eyes.

"I shall prepare it anon. Magus, wilt thee find a stack of firewood?"

"What? I'm not your errand-boy! I..."

Frog looked at Magus, then Lucca, then Magus again, as if to say "Aren't you?"

Magus gritted his teeth. This is almost not worth it, he grumbled mentally. I can't believe I've reduced myself to this. He sighed. "Gladly," he said through gritted teeth, and stalked off into the woods.

Lucca watched him go, wondering what had just taken place. "How did you do that?" she asked Frog.

"I hath promised that it remain a secret," said Frog cryptically. "Hast thou foodstuffs?"

"Not much," said Lucca, looking through her bag. "I've got some jerky and dried fruit, but - ah, we're in luck. I brought some pressed oats. Can you make oatmeal? No milk, I'm afraid."

"Aye," said Frog, "if we have a pannikin in which to boil it."

"Got that," said Lucca, handing the small aluminum pot to Frog. Frog filled it halfway with conjured water and dumped in the oats.

Magus soon returned from the forest, several logs trailing behind him through the air. "Here's your accursed wood," he said to Frog with a glare, guiding them into a neat stack in the center of the fire pit.

Frog smiled with forced amiability. "I thank thee, sir," he said. "Is there anything else thou wishest to say?"

"Yes. Lucca!" he barked. "Light a fire!"

"Light it yourself," she replied irritably, and returned to packing up her bedroll. "It's not like I can set things on fire any faster than you anyway."

Frog had to jump to reach Magus's ear, but he caught it easily. "Ow!" Magus yelped as Frog's weight bent him almost double.

"Wrong twice at once!" Frog hissed at Magus. "The first mistake was that thou were meant to say 'You're welcome,' and the second was that thou hast offended her again with thy coarse words. Didst thou read at all?"

"Let go of me! Yes, I read. Forgive me, Sir Froggy, for it is early, and I am tired."

"If thou hast forgotten so quickly, I shall show you how to ask." He let Magus go, and turned. "I must apologize for the wizard," Frog called to Lucca. "Forgive his cross words. He wished thee to light the flames simply because he knows that thy command of fire is finer than his. Miss Lucca, will thee please light the campfire?"

"All right, give me a minute," said Lucca. "Just let me finish packing up and I'll be right there. There - that ought to do it. Hold on a second." Her bedroll packed, Lucca sat on her haunches next to the fire pit and extended a finger. There was a wisp of smoke, then orange flames licked the logs. "There you go," she said to Frog. "Cook away."

When she turned away, Frog gave Magus the smug grin that Magus would get very used to over the next few days.

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"Well, no ghosts," Lucca said dejectedly. Breakfast was over, and the three had set off down the mountainside. "Looks like this little camping trip was a bust. I guess we go about and try to gather information now."

"Maybe we should work on getting down the mountain first?" Magus suggested.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Lucca replied with a withering look. Magus was about to snap out a response when he felt Frog's elbow dig into his ribs. "Laugh," Frog said, too quietly for Lucca to hear. Magus managed a small almost-chuckle at Frog's bidding, then muttered to Frog, "That's what she was supposed to do." Soon, they reached a stream.

"Now, that tree trunk we crossed on has to be around here somewhere," Lucca muttered.

Magus murmured something and closed his eyes. "No it doesn't," he said. "It dislodged during the night and washed over the waterfall down that way."

"And how, pray tell, do you know that?"

"Well, first, I remember it was stuck against that rock over there yesterday afternoon. Second, it was unstable when we crossed it. And third, I just cast a minor divination spell to see where it went. It's down that way. Does that answer your question?"

Lucca swore. "Well, now what?" she asked. "I guess we find some other way down. Come on, this way." She turned and walked upstream. "Maybe we can find a ford."

"Indeed," Frog called after her. "We shall be right behind thee." He turned to Magus. "When we find a crossing," he said quietly, "you offer to carry the lady across. I would myself, but I fear I am too small in stature to carry her on foot, and thee... thou canst fly, hmm? A perfect turn of events if I ever saw one, methinks."

Magus felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach. "All... all right," he said, knowing he had no choice in the matter.

About three hundred feet up the stream, the water became shallower and slower. The mud, however, was still deep and slippery. With a mighty spring, Frog cleared the bank and landed waist-deep in the water. He swam across easily. "What art thou waiting for?" he called across to Lucca and Magus as he sat on the opposite bank, emptying water from his boots.

Magus had frozen, the dilemma of whether it was really a good idea to follow Frog's directions just yet. Seeing Frog's glare, he took a deep breath and turned. "M... miss?" he finally asked, holding out his hand to Lucca. Lucca, however, had started walking down the bank, and was testing the water with a hand. With a flick of his wrist, Magus propelled a small pebble in Lucca's direction to get her attention. She failed to notice as it splashed in the water near her hand.

There was nothing for it. Do it, Magus ordered himself. Do it or he'll ruin everything. Taking a deep breath, he came behind Lucca and picked her up. "Hold on," he instructed, and flew across the stream, two inches from the water's surface. He set Lucca down next to Frog. Until then, Lucca had been completely dumbstruck. As soon as her feet touched the ground, however, she found her voice.

"What..." she said as the slight flush of pink cleared from her face. She shook her head and turned on Magus. "What is the idea, Ass? You gave me no warning, you very nearly touched my chest, you DID touch my legs... let me tell you, if I ever wanted to be swept off my feet, it sure as hell wouldn't be by you!"

"Well, how did you expect me to carry you across? I saved you the trouble of wading, and it looked like Frog was actually swimming for a bit there! Neither of us knows how deep that water really is. Would it kill you to show some gratitude?" Magus yelled back.

"I didn't expect it, that's the point! You could have at least asked me! Or, you know, not completely surprised me like that!"

"Excuse me for trying to help! I started to ask you, but you weren't paying attention!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault?"

Magus felt the sharp tap of Frog's boot against his leg. "And that... is where thy mistake lies," he recalled. Frog was right. He sighed and bit his lip, frowning. "I'm... sorry," he finally managed to sincerely say. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Frog smiled.