Brittany kissed her. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, repeating that to herself. Brittany kissed her. She just ripped open that door, grabbed a hold of her, and kissed her. Her memories did no justice to the feeling of Brittany's lips on hers. The feeling of her soft but desperate touch at her neck and the burning trail they had left as they danced under her shirt.
She didn't stay in the shower long, to eager to get back into Brittany's arms but as she stared at herself she couldn't help but stand there stunned. Brittany wanted her in every sense that Santana wanted her. It was as if the stars were lining up and the angels were singing. This is what was supposed to happen for them but it didn't stop the panic that bubbled up inside her.
What if's played in her mind. What if her scars scared Brittany away? What if Steve found her and hurt Brittany for revenge? What if she couldn't give Brittany everything she desired and deserved? What the hell was she going to do?
She looked herself over in the mirror, fresh clothes hugging her body and the old bandages tossed away. Some of her scars were visible and the bruising was still dark on her skin. She looked rough, rougher than she felt. She took a deep breath and nodded at her reflection as she came to a decision. If Brittany asked, she would answer. No matter the fear of Brittany's possible negative reaction. She'd fought so hard to get here, to be with Brittany again, she wasn't about to let anything come in between that, even if it was herself.
She opened the bathroom door and stepped out into the hallway. The bedroom lights were off so she made her way into the living room. Brittany was sitting on the couch with her feet tucked underneath her as she shuffled through the first aid kit. Her blonde hair fell around her face and she hadn't noticed Santana's appearance yet.
"Looks like you're running low. I'm sure Blaine will bring some," She whispered, not wanting to startle Brittany.
She looked up at Santana and smiled. It was bright and filled with hope and promises. It was a Brittany smile and it warmed everything in her from her toes to the ends of her hair. She felt on fire and alive with Brittany smiling at her like that. She felt like she was finally where she belonged.
"I've got enough to hold you over till he brings some," She said patting the spot next to her on the couch. Santana didn't waste any time to join her and a small shiver traveled down her spine when she brushed against Brittany's arm.
Brittany shifted to sit looking at Santana, the first aid kit left open on the coffee table, "Take your shirt off." Brittany wasn't looking at her when she made that request so she didn't see how Santana stiffened and her eyes filled with panic. Just because she didn't see didn't mean her senses weren't already back in tune to Santana.
Brittany looked back up at her and studied her face quickly. Santana couldn't help it. The what if's started a new rampage through her mind. She couldn't show Brittany. She couldn't lose her not but twenty minutes after finally getting her back in her arms.
Brittany intertwined their fingers together and brought Santana out of her panic induced haze. "It's okay San. I know," She whispered.
That was not what she expected or wanted to hear. She began to breathe short and quick and felt her head become light and everything started to spin in the room. She didn't feel as Brittany reached up and cupped her cheek with her free hand, or how Brittany turned her to look at her. She just kept hearing that Brittany knew. She knew and all Santana could think was that she shouldn't know, that Brittany didn't need to be tainted with the darkness the world kept hidden.
Brittany watched as Santana began to hyperventilate and her words and comforting touches weren't getting her to calm down. She did the only thing left that came to mind. She kissed Santana. Her lips rested against Santana's and when she felt them flex against her own, she knew she had Santana's attention again and that she would be calming down.
This kiss was much different that the one in the bathroom. This was soft and gentle and reassuring that the world wasn't ending. This was an action to show each other that it was okay and they loved each other. For Santana the world stopped spinning and now she couldn't catch her breath for a much better reason.
Brittany pulled back, squeezing Santana's hand in reassurance. "It's okay Santana. I know about your scars. I don't know how you got them. I don't know what you've been through but you're here with me now and no matter what I will not leave you. I just got you back and I'm not letting you go," Brittany whispered, looking Santana in the eyes.
Santana took a deep breath. Brittany had a way of knowing just what to say to her and it seemed that everything was going to be okay. Brittany's already seen her scars and it was defiantly before their bathroom kiss meaning that Brittany wasn't going to run away or not want to be with her. She saw her scars and still kissed her. She felt that strength build up inside of her, a strength that she knew would help her get through answering any question Brittany might have for it. They definitely wouldn't start to heal unless the truth was out there.
"Ask me," Her voice cracked and caught in her throat but Brittany heard her and understood what she was asking.
Brittany reached over, her fingers playing with the edge of her shirt. She released their hand hold and Brittany pulled her shirt up and off, tossing it next to them on the couch. Santana could feel the trail of her eyes and they danced across her torso. Nothing was spoken as they sat there, their breathing getting heavier.
Brittany finally reached up and traced a tiny scar at her collar bone. "One of my street fights. Girl sunk her nails into me pretty deep," Her voice breathed out the answer. She watched Brittany's face intensely for any sign of anything but that angelic face stayed neutral as her fingers traced down, leaving a trail of liquid fire under her skin.
Her fingers traced the raised and rough scar that rested between her ribs. "That's from getting stabbed back when I," Her voice trailed off as she saw the tears build up in Brittany's eyes. She reached up, her thumb brushing one away as it trailed down her cheek. Brittany still didn't say anything as her fingers traveled lower tracing more scars. Most of the answers were about her street fights until Brittany's fingers traced the bruising on her thighs.
She was wearing very short shorts so Brittany didn't have to pull up the material to far to see the bruising that lined her inner thighs. Her fingers traced it multiple times before she laid her palm flat against the skin, her fingers sprawled and filling the pattern left by the purple skin. Brittany's lips quivered and the tears began to fall more freely. Santana didn't say anything, the answer pretty evident on how she got those marks in such a private place.
Brittany hastily wiped away her tears and looked up at her. Her blue eyes were flickering with emotion and Santana could pick one out long enough to figure out something to say so she said the first thing that came to mind, "I'm sorry."
Brittany scoffed and shook her head her brows furrowing together in a fight to hold back her tears. Santana reached up, brushing her finger gently against the wrinkle that rested there before trailing her fingers down till she was cupping Brittany's cheek. "I'm so sorry," She whispered again. Brittany choked on her sobs and Santana pulled her into a tight hug; both of their foreheads resting on the other's shoulders, hands gripping at each other's back trying to pull the other in tighter. Santana ignored the pain from the gashes on her back, just wanting to hold Brittany in this moment or forever as far as she was concerned.
"I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I'll never lose you," Brittany swore into her neck before placing a kiss there as a promise.
"I'll never leave you again. I promise," She whispered back. Brittany leaned back slightly and wasted no time in placing another searing kiss against her lips. Brittany's hands traveled up and gripped at the back of her neck, kissing her so hard she was almost worried her teeth might go numb, not that she wasn't kissing Brittany back with just as much force.
Her back came against the couch cushion and Brittany rested between her thighs with one hand lost in her hair and the other gripping at her waist. Santana's hands were lost underneath Brittany's shirt, touching whatever skin she could. As her fingers traveled down the dip of her spine she could feel the goosebumps that followed her path. She reached back up pulling Brittany's shirt with her hands. Brittany pulled back quick enough for air and pulled off her own shirt, tossing it somewhere in the room.
Santana sat up, wincing slightly at the strain in her muscles as she flexed in a way she hadn't recently. Her hands trailed up Brittany's sides, tracing the curves of each rib, then her collarbone till she gripped at the back of Brittany's neck. Their lips crashed together again in a fit of passion, Brittany's hands wrapped around her lower back, helping her stay sitting upright against each other.
Santana's hands gripped at the back of Brittany's head, fingers lost in soft silky strands of blonde hair. Their chests rubbed together and both gasped at the touch. Fire traveled through Santana's veins till it rested and burned brightly in the pit of her being. Santana pulled back from the kiss, gasping in large breaths of air. Brittany mimicked her before tossing her head back as Santana sucked in a mouthful of flesh just above Brittany's bra.
"OH DEAR MOTHER OF ALL THINGS HOLY," Quinn shouted, the front door banging against the wall as Quinn's hand shot to cover her eyes.
They snapped apart and looked over to the door. Quinn stood there blocking her sight, bag dropped on the floor. Blaine stood just behind her with his arms full of a large box. He had a huge grin on his face and was chuckling softly.
"Um, hi Quinn," Brittany muttered with a breathless voice.
"Please don't talk to me till you both are wearing all the clothes you started out with," Quinn requested.
"What if this is what they started out with?" Blaine asked.
"Wanky," Santana chimed into the conversation, glad that her blush wouldn't peek out as bad as Brittany's or Quinn's.
"Oh please, They like to rip clothes off each other. It wouldn't surprise me if they plan to wear a full winter outfit before each bout of sex so they can rip off the clothes," Quinn replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm. Blaine pushed her into the apartment and closed the door behind him.
Brittany quickly handed Santana her shirt and helped her put it on. Blaine set the box down and picked up Brittany's shirt that was by his feet. "How did this get all the way over here?" He asked before chuckling again.
Brittany's cheeks blushed even darker as she jumped from the couch and quickly snatched it out of Blaines hands. She pulled on her shirt hastily, and only realized she'd redressed with it backwards when Santana pointed towards her chest. She fixed herself quickly and stood off to the side as Blaine sat down next to Santana and reached over for the near empty first aid kit.
"Brittany was helping me," Santana mentioned, disappointed that Brittany wasn't playing her nurse anymore.
"It's okay. Blaine can patch you up. I'm going to figure something out for dinner," Brittany mumbled starring at her feet before shuffling off towards the kitchen. Quinn rolled her eyes at their embarrassment before chasing after Brittany.
"Seems that things are going good here," Blaine commented as he cleaned out her stitches and re-wrapped them.
"Was going great till Quinn interrupted," Santana grumbled."How is it on the outside?"
"I was able to sell all the equipment back to who I bought it off of. Not for what you bought it for but close enough. Mr. Sun is willing to take the warehouse back at a discount because of the apartment which is beyond trashed," Blaine whispered, not knowing if this was something she'd want Brittany or Quinn to overhear.
"Thanks Blaine. You're my hero some days," She admitted with a sigh.
"Only because I look good in tights," Blaine joked. Santana laughed and swatted at his arm. He just smiled back at her.
Blaine finished with them sitting in silence. They could hear hushed whispers in the kitchen and Santana kept looking back with anxiety. Blaine cleaned up the mess he'd made and put away the left overs back into the first aid kit.
"It'll be okay Santana. Seems like you and Brittany are getting along well," Blaine mentioned.
"Doesn't mean it's going to be okay. I don't have to just get Brittany's forgiveness. I have to earn Quinn's trust again too," Santana looked down at her hands and tried not to jump up towards the kitchen as the whispers got louder.
"It's not just you. Quinn already seemed to be in a bad mood when I ran into her in the stairwell. I think something happened today and she's just at her breaking point," Blaine mentioned while looking over Santana's shoulder towards the kitchen.
"Well, it doesn't help that she gets up before the sun. Anything that rises that early is part demonic," She muttered.
"How do you know?" Blaine asked with a raised eyebrow. Santana was very tempted to flick him off and started to do so before Brittany rushed into the room.
"I ordered Chinese. Just easier than trying to find enough stuff to put together. I got your usual San," Brittany announced with a small smile.
"I'm going to change. I smell like overpriced jeans," Quinn snapped as she stormed around the corner.
"Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?" Santana asked,afraid that she'd stepped over a very large line with Quinn. She wouldn't stay here if she wasn't welcome. She was already putting to much on their shoulders as it was.
"NO!" Brittany rushed forward and knelt by her, "No. Don't leave. Quinn just had a bad day and wasn't expecting us as we were."
"I don't know why. Two soul mates finally reunited after years apart filled with trauma and heartbreak. I'm surprised we simply didn't interrupt round fifty," Blaine shrugged.
"Fifty? Really?" Santana asked with raised eyebrows.
"That's something to inspire towards. Our personal best was seven," Brittany smiled and Santana shot a look of shock back at her. Was that really information Blaine needed to know?
"Let her heal fully first before attempting to best your record by forty three," Blaine advised. She sat in slight shock before just busting out in laughter. This is how life was meant to be and here she was finally getting to live it with the love of her life and her best friend. All the pain of the past few years dimmed in this moment.
A knock came at the door and all three shot a look of confusion at it. Chinese didn't deliver that fast. "Were you followed?" Santana asked shooting Blaine a look. She was sure that Steve didn't know about him but she hadn't also believed that Nolan was being secretive in his plan but then he'd been raped and shot. If Steve and his goons were at the door then that was simply a curiosity knock and Santana needed to move now to hide her.
She jumped to her feet pulling Brittany with her to Brittany's room without waiting for an answer from Blaine. "No matter what, I want you to hide. Don't say anything and don't run out. No matter what. Promise me!" Santana gripped at Brittany's shoulders tightly before motioning to under her bed. It was silly trying to hide Brittany underneath the bed but Steve would be smart enough to check the closet. They were on the fourth floor so it wasn't like she could push Brittany out the window with out fear of breaking her neck. Blaine stood at the door to the apartment ready to hold it closed in case someone tried to force it open.
She burst into Quinn's room and covered Quinn's mouth quickly to suppress the yelp of surprise. Quinn was still changing with a fresh shirt in her hands. "Hide and don't come out no matter what you hear. Soon as it's clear you take Brittany and get far away from here." Quinn went to protest and Santana pushed her towards the bed, motioning like she did for Brittany. "Just do it Quinn. Please," She pleaded. Quinn nodded, wide eyes with fear before she dropped to her knees and shuffled under the bed.
Santana came back around the corner and quickly rushed through the kitchen grabbing a knife. A knock came at the door again and Santana peeked around the corner, nodding towards Blaine. She took a deep breath, grip firm on the handle of the knife. They wouldn't shoot Blaine right off. Steve wouldn't risk if she wasn't actually here, which gave her a chance of a surprise attack and giving Blaine the chance to help her fight, not that she would ever wish for him to get hurt because of her.
Blaine took a deep breath, trying to appear calm and pulled open the door. His head cocked back in surprise and his mouth opened and closed a few times, "Kurt? What are you doing here?"
Authors note: Oh goody I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this one. Didn't cover much time but it seems that a lot happened. I sure did get a good bit of response from the sneak peak I posted on my tumblr. Perhaps I'll do that again.
Speaking of: I've also posted a poll for my new fic that I mentions last chapter. I know some of you don't visit Tumblr so I'm extending the poll here. If you don't want to leave it in a review feel free to send me a PM. I'll be posting the first chapter some time during the first of the week.
Title poll:
Moonlight Chances
Howl For Me ((which is currently in the lead))
Beast Within
Pack Member poll:
Blaine/Sam ((currently in the lead))
Quinn/Kurt
Rachel/Artie
Anywho! Hit me up on Tumblr and leave a review here. I look forward to all of your thoughts and comments.