The end might be a bit sappy, but I hope you don't mind. Let me know whether you liked the story.
What if?14
She had not stood him up; she simply had not received the letter…While he was still standing there, Beatrice's words slowly sinking in, Philip realised why he had been so puzzled by the future Hester telling him she had always been in love with him. She had waited for him to contact her and probably she had been very hurt that he presumably had not bothered to visit her, although he owed her his life. And Beatrice… She felt far more for him than she had admitted. Philip knew that his behaviour had reinforced her hopes for a relationship. She was a nice young woman who might one day find somebody to love her. He almost felt sorry for her, and right now the joy he felt that everything might turn out right was stronger.
A brief knock on the door announced Ella, who burst into the room, her face beaming. "Hester, I need to tell… Hey, sweetie, are you all right? You look miserable. I thought you'd be happy that your father married again." Ella gave her friend a worried look. Hester was pale and silent; adjectives Ella had so far never associated with her friend. When Ella continued to watch her enquiringly, Hester drew a deep breath. "Maybe it's time I finally talk about it. I've never told anyone…" Ella sat down and Hester continued. „Everyone knows about my mother's murder and that Jacko shot my brother-in-law Philip, it was all over the papers. But hardly anyone knows that it was me who found Philip. It was… I had given him a cigarette case for a present and… it stopped the bullet; otherwise, he wouldn't have survived. He'd lost a lot of blood and been in a coma for a long time. His leg has remained stiff and he spent a lot of time in hospital. I hadn't seen him since, but I thought he'd contact me at some point… When I finally called at the university… He didn't even call back. And now I saw him at my father's wedding, and he's got the guts to pretend that he's got every right to be mad at me! When I was finally sick of his behaviour and demanded that he tell me the truth, he mumbled some garbage and just left."
She hesitated and Ella looked at her pensively. "You left out the most important part, didn't you, Hester? You love him." Ella hugged her friend. "Does he know about your feelings?"
"I don't think so", Hester answered slowly. „I fell in love with him the first time Mary brought him to our parents' house, but from the beginning I pretended not to like him. It was nothing but self-protection 'cause I have always been afraid that someone would notice. Dad asked me more than once if I couldn't make an effort to be nicer to him. The two like each other. I think I've fooled them all. I have always avoided him; just once, when I knew I just had to go to college I asked him for help and that was when I bought him the cigarette case to say thank you. When I gave it to him, he looked at me strangely and for a moment I thought… but I must have been seeing things…" She shook her head. "It was very hard on me to see him like this. You've never met him. I mean, you've got Steven, but if you had only looked into his eyes once... I am not making sense." Hester bit her lip. „It would be best if we just stopped talking about it."
"I'm pretty sure you're wrong, Hester", Ella replied. "He knows he owes you his life. Maybe it was all a bad misunderstanding, especially because he reacted so strangely at the wedding. Why don't you call him? By the way, you're absolutely right." She grinned again. "I do have my Steven. Still, your Philip must be quite a guy, the way you rave about him. Surely you've got a picture of him…?"
"He is not my Philip", Hester replied defiantly. "But yes, I have a picture, and I will show it to you, if only to get you to shut up. I know you mean well, but…"
The photo had been taken at a family reunion once and was pretty wrinkled by now. Ella observed how carefully and tenderly Hester touched the picture and took it from her, shaking her head. "I think you're lying to yourself. You have to clear things up; otherwise you'll never get over him. I know you well enough by now. – Wow, he is eye candy, yum… But does he ever smile? It would make him even sweeter…"
"Stop it, Ella. He rarely laughs", Hester answered, „but when he does, then you'd..." She blushed and broke off. "Wasn't there something you wanted to tell me? The way you burst into the room earlier… What's up?"
Ella felt that Hester did not wish to go on about Philip and thus did not pry any further. "Yes, there is something I want to tell you. Will you come with me to the little café on campus?"
Maybe he should have called first. Surely Hester had no lectures but she was not in her room either, for nobody opened the door at his knock. Philip was just turning away, disappointed, when a young woman accosted him at the stairs. "You wanted to see Hester Argyle? You've just missed her; she went over to the café."
Philip felt his heart race as he approached the café. He had expected to be able to talk to her alone. Damn, he felt like a little schoolboy declaring himself to the love of his life, and not like a professor! At the same time he was glad that he knew he could feel this way.
He opened the door and entered. The café was rather crowded, so it took a while until he spotted her at a little table at the far end of the room.
It was always difficult to get a table in all that teeming humanity, but Steven was already waiting for Ella and Hester. As always, he gave Hester a friendly smile, but when he looked at Ella, Hester sharply felt anew how she longed for love such as this. Shortly after that, the waitress put down tea and scones in front of them and Hester looked at her friend expectantly.
You were absolutely right", Ella beamed. "I wanted to tell you something important. Steven, would you like…?"
"Ella and I are going to get married, and pretty soon. We have no reason to put it off 'cause we are certain…" He looked tenderly at Ella and continued, turning to Hester: "Hester, we wanted to ask you if you'd like to be our maid of honour."
"With all my heart", Hester replied in a choked voice. "I am so happy for you." She had expected this for a long time, and she knew it was right. Deeply touched, she blinked and felt her eyes fill with tears. "Now don't think that the thought of you marrying brings me to tears; it's just that I'm so happy for you."
Ella swallowed. She know how hard it had to be on her friend to see two people happily in love while this love seemed lost to her. But Hester had never begrudged her friend anything and Ella knew that she was indeed truly happy for them. She felt tears well up in her own eyes and got to her feet quickly. "I'll be right back." And she left towards the ladies' room. Just what they needed, two crying women here at the café!
Steven and Hester remained at the table. "Have you set a date yet?" Hester asked and Steven nodded. "It'll be just a small ceremony as neither of us has much family. My parents are both dead. It'll be three months from today.
Hester smiled at Steven. "I meant what I said. Ella could not wish for a better husband, and I know you'll both be happy."
"Thanks", Steven smiled and squeezed her hand.
That was when Philip froze at the door of the café for he had just seen Hester smile happily at the man seated with her at the table. He was squeezing her hand, and Philip knew that he had come too late. Hester had found another man. Numbly he stared over at both of them. The Hester who had told him that she loved him had not been from the future; she had merely showed him what might have been. It was impossible to interpret this any other way than he had, and he berated himself that he should have known. The sad and brutal truth was that rich heiresses did not get involved with crippled professors. Without another word he left the café.
As Ella was emerging from the bathroom, her eyes fell upon a handsome man standing by the door, leaning on a cane and staring blankly into the room. Wasn't that… Ella traced his look and, right, he was looking right at Steven and Hester's table. But he didn't come any closer; he turned abruptly and left!
When Ella returned to the table, Hester could read in her face at once that something was wrong. "Hester, tell me, did you see the man who was just standing by the door?" When Hester shook her head no, she went on: "You showed me the photograph earlier but I'm not quite sure. Does Philip have dark, wavy hear, fair eyes and didn't you say that his leg has remained stiff?2 Hester withdrew the picture from her purse while Steven was staring at them blankly. "Steven, I'll explain everything later", Ella smiled and looked closely at the photo Hester had given her. "That was definitely him, Hester, he was here just a minute ago, watching you. I bet had come to see you."
"So why did he leave then? You must be wrong, Ella, that wasn't him."
"He left", declared Ella triumphantly after a while, "because when he came in, he saw the same thing I saw what I saw – a man and a woman smiling at each other. He just didn't know was really going on. Hester, it was your Philip, I am dead sure, and what I am also dead sure of: He was jealous! You should have seen the look on his face. I didn't understand at first, but now it all makes sense."
Hester was thunderstruck. Ella was right, she had to see Philip. "Would you drive me, Steven?" she asked.
"I still don't know what this is all about", Ella's fiancé answered, "but of course I'll drive you."
Only two hours later they had reached Philip's house, but nothing happened on Hester's ringing the doorbell. Maybe he had gone somewhere else. What was she supposed to do? Leave, and risk once more that she would not see him and fail to clear up another misunderstanding? She decided to wait; there was a small bench in the garden where she could sit, and her coat would protect her from the chill. Plus, Ella and Steven had a blanket in their car. Yes, she would wait. "Could you do me a favour?" Hester asked the couple. „I'd like to wait for him; maybe you could... there's a small guesthouse in the town centre, and if you could… you could pick me up before it gets dark. That will give me three hours. If he isn't back until then..."
Shortly after that, Ella and Steven drove down the street to the centre of the small town. Hester sat down and huddled into the folds of the blanket. Winter was gone and spring had sent her first messengers, small blue and yellow buds peeking out of the dark earth. The air felt wonderfully fresh as did the smell of the soil, but the sun had not fully recovered her strength yet, and Hester slowly felt her toes go numb.
I can't go back into the house! Philip was not a person to yell out in frustration. Matt had told him more than once that he talked way too little about his own feelings, but Philip felt he couldn't change that. Standing by the small cliff close to his house and staring down on the woods and the narrow river, the shrubs and meadows did more to soothe his wounds. Seeing these things reminded him anew how much he had and how grateful he could be. Only a few months ago he had been a man in a wheelchair rolling smoothly on the path to death by alcoholism. Philip took a deep breath. It was time to finally say goodbye to the dreams he was still nursing. He would burn the book of poems. Only half an hour remained until the sun would set, so Philip decided to go home at least.
It was not worth waiting any longer. Philip did not seem to be coming home any more tonight, or maybe Ella had been mistaken after all. Still, she had been so sure! Hester got up and walked along the little path to the front of the house. Surely Steve and Ella would arrive soon anyway. There, a car drew up, that had to be them. – No, it was Philip's car, he had come back!
Hester? What was Hester doing here? There she was, wrapped in a blanked and probably for some time now as he had not heard or seen hear drive up… Philip turned off the ignition and get out of the car while Hester drew closer. He saw at once how she shivered in the cold. "Come into the house, quickly", he told her and unlocked the door.
He led her into the small living-room where he put a few logs into the fireplace while she was sitting down on the sofa. So far she had not uttered a single word. The flames soon flickered although it would take a while for the room to heat up. Hester still had not extracted herself from her blanket and coat, but slowly her face was gaining colour. Philip added another log and finally turned to face Hester.
Without preamble, she blurted out: "Were you at the café this afternoon?"
"Yes, I was", he replied slowly. "But I would have disturbed you. I suppose congratulations are in order?"
Ella was right! He was jealous! Philip's lips had turned into a straight line and his voice had gone flat. Hester stared at Philip intently and went on: "They would if you knew the bride – my best friend Ella."
It took Philip several seconds to grasp what Hester was saying. Not her, but her friend… He swallowed. "You're not… you don't have a... boyfriend?"
„No, I don't have a boyfriend..."
"Hester", Philip said hoarsely and drew closer. Slowly she rose and let the blanked slide off her shoulders. He was standing in front of her, looking at her, straight into her eyes. "Don't you want…?" But before he could finish, she started to unbutton her coat until it, too, fell to the floor. "Philip!" Hot tears sprang to Hester's eyes and rolled down her still chilly cheeks. Philip traced them gently with the tips of his fingers. He took Hester into his arms and deeply inhaled the scent of her hair. "Hester, you have no idea how I've longed to hold you in my arms. I had written you a letter, which apparently you never received. I wanted to meet you and thought you did not. Hester! … You're still cold", he whispered, holding here.
"Then give me warmth, Philip, give me warmth." He kissed her, this time feeling her lips in earnest, not just in his visions of the future. Not a possibility but reality, a reality he would never let go of again. The two of them were unaware of the car driving up, waiting for a few minutes and then leaving again, but they would not have cared either that they were clearly visible to Steven and Ella, tightly wrapped around each other in Philip's brightly lit living-room. They were ensconced in their own world. It seemed like an eternity and yet too short when they finally let go of each other. As Philip looked into Hester's eyes, he knew there was no time to be lost.
"Marry me, Hester", he whispered. She nodded and kissed him. Words were unnecessary.