100 Raindrops
Dark: February Song
By
Archerelf
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Author's Note: Sorry, this was the best I could come up with. I'll get back to Higher Faster Stronger soon enough.
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The cold wind whipped bitterly through the Hidden Land of Snow. It had been literally hidden, covered completely in the white stuff. Sakura liked snow. It muffled everything even if it was freezing outside. She was completely covered in long attire, cloak and specialty clothes included. Even then, it still hurt to flex her fingers.
Team 7 reunited was camping on the borders. Sasuke was content brooding at the fire; Naruto wasn't even in the mood to argue. Sakura…well… she always just seemed there. She wasn't the strongest still, even if she managed more fighting time now. If anything, it seemed she was still playing her old role of fixing them up. Any injuries went straight into her care.
It wasn't really so different than her old role of guarding the target, if anything now, she could at least stop someone from bleeding. But no matter how much she improved, they didn't notice really. Or seem to care. Naruto was Naruto, her brother of sorts, full of promises that he'd protect her. But she didn't need protecting. She needed a fair chance. And even now that Sasuke was back, albeit months of probation and community service, he was on the team again and completely oblivious. To everything. Really, it was like he had never gone at all.
Consumed with revenge, he hardly considered anyone worthy of his time. With the exception of missions, she left him alone now. She almost dreaded her missions, because while the people to protect had changed, her friends hadn't. They didn't see that she had either.
It was odd in a way. They'd grown up, gotten stronger…and it had seemed so much easier when they were still younger kids in the academy. Sakura felt alone all the time. She had Naruto but he could only be around for a limited time with all his training. She headed up to the hospital to pass time and she never saw Sasuke. She would imagine she was almost turning into him. Now, she knew how lonely it was to be surrounded by dozens of people and know that very few of them cared. Her friends were basically gone. And almost every mission, after completion, she'd head off to be alone. No one asked. No one told. The mission report would have no discrepancies.
-
Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes, opens his eyes
Where is that simple day
Before colors broke into shades
And how did I ever fade
Into this life, into this life
-
After a mostly quiet meal, she took a spare cloak and headed into the trees. Sasuke was on guard, Naruto was asleep in his tent. He snored away life basically. They said nothing, nor exchanged eye contact. Once she had jumped up high enough she considered why she had taken to this ninja life. She had promised her parents to work hard and for the most part she was a success on the outside. She just always felt like a failure inside. She had the best grades in the Academy.
But she couldn't protect herself or anyone else. She lacked everything that Naruto took for granted. Skills and courage. She felt trapped in a way. She tried her hardest but to be honest, if she just stood still, the boys would take care of all the fighting. Just like old times. Sakura put her head back against the tree and closed her eyes. This was her alone time. She never wanted to head back to the village.
-
And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day
-
Everyday she woke up a failure. She felt it. People talked, you know? They said how the boys had the skills and she had the smarts. It was always like that. Few people described her as being as good as the boys. Her own team certainly never thought so. Team InoShikaChou worked as a unit and even if one member wasn't strong enough, they fought on together. Team Gai was more analytical, calculating, and then brought down their enemy with their individual skills.
Team 7 was simple enough to figure out. Naruto would rush in yelling, they other opponents would make fun of them, Sasuke would kill about 3 with his speedy attack, they'd get scared, lose moral and then Naruto would run to take out the rest. She only fit in if they were good enough to actually hit one of the boys. She could rush forward if she wanted to but there'd be no point. Born a failure, die a failure. That's all that there was too it. Wake up, train, maybe a mission or go the hospital, train and wind down. Again. And again. And again.
-
Morning is waking up
And sometimes it's more than just enough
When all that you need to love
Is in front of your eyes
It's in front of your eyes
-
It was odd but all it seemed that she needed was to having someone think that she was good enough. It would be a great self esteem booster to get it from Sasuke or someone like Neji. Like that would ever happen. People remarked. They said she had changed. She wasn't annoying. She was more serious. She lost her happy view on life. True enough. She had 'opened her eyes' to the cynicism of the world. She never wanted to let anyone down. It just always seemed that it happened. There was a sudden shift of chakra onto her branch. It was Sasuke. She didn't even open her eyes. No one moved that fast but him. No enemy had anything on it. She didn't speak. Nor did she open her eyes.
"I dislocated my shoulder." Translation: do something about it. She opened her eyes and motioned for him to sit down on the branch. She pulled off her gloves and rubbed them together to get the chakra flowing. She took hold of his left arm and bent it a few ways. Sakura sighed, she had to pop it back into the socket. 3, 2, 1 and bam, it was in. He never flinched. She pulled her gloves back on as the snow started to fall again. She leaned back against the tree closing her eyes. A minute later, his chakra presence was still there. She opened her eyes up again.
"Did you need something?"
"This is the 15th time you've gone off by yourself after a mission. Why." It wasn't a question, it was more a command to tell him. She shifted her body weight lazily.
"I fail to see where it's any business of yours."
"I'm team captain. If you're hurt, that needs to be added to the mission report." He said it so nonchalantly.
"I can heal myself if I was hurt. I'm not."
"You've changed."
"Of course. So have you."
"Why have you become me?" He seemed almost smug. She shot him a loathing, disbelieving look. "You flatter yourself. If you've nothing else to say, go away." He raised an eyebrow in an emotion she couldn't tell.
"Now I'm interested. Why do you keep alienating yourself."
"That's rather hypocritical. And I'm around people all day, a break is natural."
"Not for you. You needed to be accepted a few years ago. Right now you're just wallowing in pity."
"You know at this point I really am just humoring you right?"
"What I want to know is why."
"And why should I tell you?"
-
And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
Sometimes it's hard to find the ground
Cause I keep on falling as I try to get away
From this crazy world
-
"I'm bored. Right now, you're the most interesting thing around here."
"Hm…tempting but no."
"Fine. Don't tell anyone why you think you're a failure." He held up a small black book which she recognized as her journal.
Sakura looked up with enough fire in her to melt the snow falling around her. The red in her cloak was the only color she felt right now.
"How dare you, you scheming little weasel!" She hoped the reference to his brother would at least make him flinch. It didn't. "Want to know so badly? I'll tell you. I know I'm a failure because that's how I was born. Being smartest meant nothing on the battlefield. I don't have anywhere close to the skills that either of you possess. Essentially I'm worthless one; I'm the one who guards the target and makes sure they don't die. You were born with those eyes of yours and natural skill. Naruto has courage and strength. I can't get stronger than what I am now. I have nothing."
"Feeling sorry for yourself just makes you pathetic."
"This is the only time I have to escape. Forgive me if I've taken up too much of your time, captain." She spit out the words acidly, and full of malice.
"You were never this angry before."
"Try living your life with people expecting nothing of you. Supported by wonderful teammates who make up for your mistakes. You can't even tell me that you relate. You grew up in the shadow of your brother with everyone expecting the world you. You had purpose."
Sakura hoped that with that final jab with the brother comment would make him leave her alone. She really needed to cry right about now. Screw the Shinobi don't show their emotions rule. That was pretty much in smithereens. And he didn't leave. What did she have to say to make him go?
"I never wanted to let anyone down but it just came naturally. So you'll forgive me if I wanted some alone time, especially after missions. I always come back."
"What do you want from me?" It didn't seem like a demand or anything. It was a question. What she wanted from him.
"I'm not going to ask to you lie to suit me." She sighed. "All I want is for someone to tell me that I'm not completely worthless. I won't believe them but still, it'd make me feel better."
"You're hardly the worst here. That annoying Yamanaka girl still only has that one technique and is always relying on the lazy and overweight teammates to save her. We don't save you because you don't need it. You're capable of taking care of yourself. Besides, you're the only medic on any of the teams. If you didn't heal us, we'd end up being a liability to the mission and to the village. And that Chinese girl with all the weapons, she doesn't know how to use them properly. You are the smartest of any of the girls and most of the other people on the teams. I'd say you found a use after all."
She didn't say anything. How could she? He just gave her the biggest compliment he could ever bestow.
Suddenly he felt a few things on his face at the same time. A pair of warm lips were pressing into his while hot tears from her face chilled in the air and dropped onto his chin. He was frozen, because for all of his training, he didn't know what to do.
She smiled and released him.
"I'm sorry." She said with a strained small smile.
They watched the snow for a minute or two. Then 5 passed. And 10.
"Don't be sorry. I'm not."
-
And I never want to let you down
Forgive me if I slip away
When all that I've known is lost and found
I promise you I, I'll come back to you one day
-
As the sun started to rise a few hours later, Sasuke motioned to the fire. "Go warm up, the sun's coming up."
"I already have."
-
Where has that old friend gone
Lost in a February song
Tell him it won't be long
Til he opens his eyes
Opens his eyes
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Sorry if it's crappy, lots of things have been going on lately...