So I kind of want to apologize for the last chapter. I wrote it while sick with heavy allergies, a cold, or the black plague and I didn't realize how I had more or less destroyed everything I had been heading towards originally. So I am going to see what I can do with it to get back there. Thanks for sticking with me, and a special thank you to Alec Ramsey for her amazing support. Thanks also to the added favourite stories and adds, as well as the reviews.
I do not own any True Blood characters. I just like to play around with them.
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Lisette opened her door slowly, clearing her throat so that he would know that she was coming in. The light was on by her bed, and she stared at the duffel bag that sat open on his side. She heard the medicine cabinet door close in the bathroom and he walked out and placed some more items in the bag. He didn't look at her as he checked inside and zipped it up, and she stood awkwardly in the doorway waiting for anything from him. "Eric?" She was shocked at the mere whisper that she could get out, and she fought to breath. He finally gazed at her with cold eyes, and she felt tears in hers. "Don't look at me like that."
"I'm leaving." Eric said, his voice weary and resigned. "I drove around tonight with this shit running through my head, and finally I could not take it anymore. I am just going to go home right now and be done with his."
"Where is home?" Lisette asked, her voice rising as she fought to control it. "Where the fuck is home?"
"Maybe you would know if you had not been such a coward today." Eric suggested, his voice reflecting his renewed and sudden anger. "I was upset that she was watching too. But when I got back to you, all I remembered was the happiness of the proposal and the moment. You fucking threw it in my face when you walked away from that store. I cannot take the pushing away and the running anymore, Lisette. I am struggling to keep you safe, the baby safe, and everyone happy while you decide when you want in and when you want out. I am finished with it."
"No." Lisette said, walking forward and sliding her arms around him. "I love you, Eric." She moved one hand behind his head and pulled him down roughly to kiss him, and his lips responded for a brief moment before he pulled away violently. "Please don't do this."
"We cannot fuck these problems we have away anymore. We have been doing that for long enough." Eric told her, and she felt the lump in her throat rise. "I need a real relationship and a real engagement. You obviously don't." He glared at her coldly and she reached for him.
"What about Cindy? What about all of your worry about me and the baby?" Lisette cried, and he sighed audibly.
"I am dealing with that in such a way that we can do this. Besides, she really wants me and she will have no reason to trouble you since we broke up." The words ripped through Lisette, and she clenched her hands and brought them to her face. He stepped one step closer and grabbed her hands so that he could stare into her face. "One thing, Lisette. You are carrying my baby that means everything to me. Take care of yourself for the sake of them for the rest of this pregnancy. I implore you."
"You think I would harm it?" Lisette screamed at him, and he shook his head.
"Look at yourself. I hope you can find the strength to be a good mother and do what is right." He glanced at Sophie as she opened her door and gave her a hard stare. "Do what you can to keep my child safe, Sophie."
"Eric, you cannot walk away from me. Please. You told me that you loved me." Lisette begged, and he grabbed his duffel bag and walked outside. She followed him, trying to see through her tears. She jumped into the elevator, and tried to touch him again. He pushed her hands away and she screamed in frustration. "I love you. I want you, Eric. I want to be your wife."
"It's too late." Eric said, and she took several painful breaths.
"You only asked me recently. How can it be too late?" Lisette demanded, and he met her blurry eyes with a cold stare.
"I told you not to run again, and you chose to do it in regards to our engagement. How the fuck do you think that made me feel?" Eric was in her face as he yelled at her, and she cowered back against the wall of the elevator. "I felt like everything you said and everything you did meant nothing. You could not love me enough and be happy enough to want it the same way I did." The elevator opened., and he walked out and through the glass doors to the street.
"Eric, please. I do want it. I want it more than anything." Lisette told him, stubbornly walking after him. Maybe if she cried enough or told him enough, he would stay. He had to listen to her eventually.
"Go inside. Eat and rest and get some strength. Do what is right for my baby." Eric turned to her after he had thrown his bag into his car, and his eyes shimmered as he gazed at her flat stomach. He touched it gently and closed his eyes sadly. "I want to be in this baby's life so much. I will continue to go to appointments and anything regarding them, and I beg you to take care of yourself for their sake. Please, Lisette."
"I will." Lisette said in a whisper, as she stroked back his hair. "I love you, Eric."
"I love you. This is harder than you'll ever imagine." Eric told her, standing and leaning forward to kiss her forehead. She trembled at the contact, and he seemed resigned as he looked at her. "I just can't do it anymore." He got into his car and drove away after a moment, and she stood on the curb in disbelief as she clenched her fists.
"Come up to the house, sweetie." Sophie said, and her voice echoed through Lisette's head. She let her friend guide her and was sinking onto their couch after the longest walk of her life. Sophie went into the kitchen and brought something out to her. "Here is some tea, baby girl It'll soothe you."
"He's gone." Lisette choked out, feeling empty. "He's really gone. I love him, Soph."
"I know. He loves you as well, but you really hurt him at Tiffany's. It was the icing on the cake." Sophie told her, and Lisette closed her eyes. "I know that you were freaked out, but he still wanted you no matter what. He cannot see past the fact that you didn't." She stroked Lisette's hair, and got her to drink some tea. "He needs time, Lis. I didn't think it would come to this when I spoke to him, but he just thought about it some more."
"Where is home?" Lisette asked in a small voice, letting the tears drip down her face.
"I have no idea. I just know that he has the apartment now." Sophie said briefly, and Lisette took another sip of tea. "He will call you to keep tabs on the baby, at any rate. Give him the space that he needs, Lis."
"I want him, Soph. I want him back so bad." Lisette started to hyperventilate and Sophie forced her to look into her blue eyes that had their own tears in them.
"Lisette, this isn't just about you like last time was. Know that. You can't drink your way through the nights and never get out of bed. You need to sleep and you need to get up and eat. You need to be active for my little niece and try and stay positive. You cannot lose yourself in this sorrow."
Lisette cried and nodded as she stared at her friend. "I know. It's so hard, but I know." She hugged Sophie and her friend continued to comfort her and stroke her hair. She curled up on the couch in front of the television and fell asleep when she finally felt drained of tears, and Sophie kissed her hair and curled up on the other end with her. Lisette slept fitfully, waiting all night for him to walk back in and tell her everything would be alright. She opened her burning eyes in the morning and sighed at the light filtering in through the windows. Sophie slept quietly near her, and she felt the rush of tears first thing as she looked at the floor. She had no idea how to get up and face her day. She wondered if he was having the same problem, or if it was a great relief to have her out of his life. He would have his child either way, and that seemed to be what really mattered. She felt her stomach growl and she sighed and pushed herself up slowly off of the couch. Her whole body ached as she moved and she took a deep breath. Lisette got up and went to the kitchen and poured herself some juice, wishing badly for coffee at that moment. She looked at her choices for breakfast for several minutes, getting lost in her thoughts as she tried to focus. She came to when Sophie peeked in, coming in to hug her friend. Sophie turned on the radio in the kitchen and made coffee, and Lisette sang along absently to a song as she finally started to make waffles. She cut up fruit as she cooked them, as she craved oranges badly at that time. The cravings had become something of a joke between her and Eric, and she closed her eyes as tears slid down her cheeks. She dropped the knife on the counter and slid to the floor as the sobs hit her hard, and curled her head up on her knees. He would not be there for the cravings, the changes, and the moments when she just needed someone to even out her mood. Lisette cried as she started feeling really alone. She heard footsteps and heard Sophie finishing up the food and finally a hand stroking her hair. "Oh honey. This is going to be a rough time."
"I started crying over the oranges." Listette said in a weak voice, letting Sophie help her up. "He always laughed at how many I ate in one day."
"He could again. That or whatever craving you seem to have at that moment." Sophie replied, well aware of them as well. "Hey I work for awhile today on this huge event, but maybe we can go out to dinner tonight?"
"Caroline's tonight. I am there until close." Lisette replied, feeling thankful that she would not be sitting home all night.
"Call me when you're off. I will come and get you." Sophie offered, and Lisette nodded as she wiped at her eyes again. The car was being fixed, but Eric had insisted on a rental as well as paying the deductible. Sophie hugged her again and kissed her cheek as she went to shower and dress, and Lisette sat down to take a few bites of her breakfast. The hunger from the baby made her eat more then she felt like emotionally, but she knew that it was best. She got up after and washed the dishes slowly and methodically before going into her room. She looked around, finding it empty and full of too many memories as she took a deep breath. Regardless, she crawled under her covers and slept until she needed to get ready for work that afternoon. She took a long shower and tried to hide the circles under her eyes with make up as she frowned. She clipped her hair up and pulled on her clothes, hearing her phone ring in the living room. Lisette ran to get it, staring at the display as her heart pounded nearly out of her chest. It was Jimmy calling to see if she needed a ride, and she agreed in a disappointed tone of voice. He hung up with his own question in his voice, and she knew that she would be answering some questions that night. Lisette sighed audibly and finished getting ready for the evening, taking some tylenol before she left the house to help her aching body.
They did talk at break over some food. Jimmy listened to her soft voice as she described what had happened, and she could see him siding with Eric in his eyes. He hugged her and assured her that she would be OK, and that she would have plenty of support with the baby. She started thinking about Tiffany's as she worked, and shuddered at the disappointment that she had felt when he had left the store. She replayed the moments when he walked up to her outside, and her refusal to go back in. Had she just done that, she would be with him right now planning her future. Lisette wished that she had, but her heart had been broken by the intrusion of Cindy. She really wondered what had happened with her, and wished that she had asked Eric what he had done. She realized that she was slowing down and hurried around to help the customers again, focusing on the acts and even laughing a bit here and there. Talking to Jimmy had lightened her mood somewhat, and she thought that she might be able to get through this. She didn't that way after she got home to her empty room and cried herself to sleep on the couch as Sophie held her in her arms. Lisette could not face her empty bed and slept here and there with the television on again, waking up to her own sobs as she dreamed him walking away from her again. She whispered that she loved him as she buried her face in her arms, fighting the urge to call and plead with him to come back.
She woke up to her phone the next morning, and she grumpily answered it without looking at it. Eric's voice surprised her, and she tried to clear her throat. He merely asked how she was feeling and how the baby was doing, but she could hear the pain in his voice. Lisette told him that she was eating and taking care of herself, and sleeping as best as she could. She memorized every tone in his voice as he spoke, and nodded as he told her again to please take care of the baby. There was a pause and she opened her mouth. "I miss you."
"I miss you, Lis." Eric replied, and they went quiet again. "We spent so much time together that being alone is…….weird."
"It is. I can't even sleep in my room." Lisette admitted, and closed her eyes. Was she supposed to say that? She had never cared for anyone in this way before and to her she should act cool and unaffected when inside she was screaming that she loved him. "I guess I should not have said that. I don't know what I should say."
"I know what I want to hear, but you need to be ready completely." Eric said softly, and she frowned. "It'll take time."
"I don't need time to know that I love you." Lisette assured him, and sighed. "I know that I want you with me. What more is there?"
"There is the fact that you run every time things get heavy or not to your liking. You push me away so easily." Eric reminded her, and she closed her eyes. "We need time before we try again, Lis."
"Okay." Lisette told him shortly, and he sighed at the other end. He suggested meeting for lunch before her next appointment, and she agreed to the day that was a very long two weeks from then. She was about to hang up, when something popped into her mind, "What did you mean about Cindy? What's happened?"
"I spoke to her friends and family, and they have all but convinced her to return home and get some help. She should be leaving soon. In the meantime, I am keeping close tabs as to know where she is, so I will know quickly if she intends to find you. She is very clear on my need for her to disappear." His tone was very assuring, and she smiled slightly. "We will have a normal life again. I promise."
"I hope so." Lisette sighed, closing her eyes and picturing his face in her mind. "I miss you. I love you."
"I do you as well." Eric told her, and she ended the call. She lay on the couch angry that the call should have made her feel better, yet it left her feeling a little worse. How could he stand it? She got up with a frustrated sigh and fixed herself breakfast, eating at the small table. Sophie had gone to work early, and Lisette had the day off. She stared out of the window, unwilling to wait at home all day until the dinner plans for the evening. She showered and dressed, hailing a cab as she stepped outside. She thanked the driver, glancing around as she stepped up to her destination. She glanced at Eric's former condo for a long moment, missing him so much as her mind raced with the memories that she had stored. They hurt, and she bit her lip painfully as she thought back. Lisette walked into the glass doors of the other building, and quietly entered the loft. She took a deep breath as she glanced around, taking in the quiet. She walked over to her window and glanced over her painting supplies slowly, smiling as she felt the familiar pull. If anything could get her through this part of her life, this was it. She turned on a low fan and plugged ear buds into her Ipod and stared at the canvas in front of her. She had barely started it. She sat for several moments as she closed her eyes. She opened them and turned her head to see Jimmy smiling at her from across the room.
"You're back."
"I suppose I am. It's time to paint again and it is a great therapy method. " Lisette told him, and he came over to give her a hug. She smiled weakly at him, and he stroked her cheek.
"Nothing has changed?" Jimmy asked her quietly, and she shook her head.
"He needs time. Apparently, I need time as well. Why isn't it as simple as two people loving each other?" Lisette asked Jimmy, and he frowned.
"It is never simple, particularly for someone who has learned to hide herself and flee when scared." Jimmy told her, and she nodded slowly. "I have the same problem sometimes."
"I need to work through some stuff, don't I?" Lisette asked, though not directly at Jimmy. "Whatever happens, I will be the best I can be for my baby. This is really about them, not me and him. He'll be great as a dad in any case." Her words sounded good, but inside she was screaming for it to be them together. She closed her eyes and felt the sting in her eyes.
"See what happens, Lis." Jimmy told her, and she nodded slowly. He went to get them some food and she sat down to paint, finding the colours practically painting themselves on the canvas. She stayed all day and Sophie came to get her for their dinner together that night. It happened to be at the place her art show had been, and she looked around with as wan smile. She touched her stomach as they sat down, and sighed.
"This is where it all started." Lisette said, and Sophie gazed at her with serious eyes. "Maybe if I keep painting, I can have another show and really get serious about it. I kind of blew it off when I met him, Sophie. I got so caught up in how he made me feel inside and wanted nothing more than to be with him."
"It was pretty obvious." Sophie agreed, and Lisette frowned. "It happens. I have done the same thing a time or two myself. But I was so happy to see your work today, and I think that is part of you finding your strength. Nothing makes you glow as much as when you are painting. Well, your baby does now too. You look so beautiful and soft." Sophie smiled encouragingly at her. "Maybe you can have it all, Lis. The art career, the beautiful baby, and the doting husband."
"Let's not get carried away. I could have the art career, the baby, and a loving friend to help me as well." Lisette said painfully, and Sophie took her hand across the table. "I could be a single parent." She sighed. "I regret this sometimes, Soph. I love the baby, but what kind of monster have I created?"
"You haven't. It'll be fine. I can't wait to see her and hold her." Sophie gushed, and Lisette frowned.
"Shit! He still has the name and pregnancy book, and no ultrasound pictures."
"Any chance of seeing him?" Sophie asked hopefully, and Lisette raised her eyebrows.
"Yes, at the appointment in two weeks. He did suggest lunch first, whatever that means. Maybe a chance to talk a little?" Lisette said, and Sophie smiled. The girls ordered their entrees and chatted, with Lisette remembering meeting Eric fondly from time to time. She would never forget the electricity of his touch, and the hold he had on her with his eyes. Her body tensed at the memory, and she sighed audibly. Sophie looked curiously at her, and she smiled ruefully. "Pregnancy hormones suck. Not a good time to be single."
"You know I have anything you need at home to get you by until you're back in his bed." Sophie told her, and Lisette laughed a little. "My personal offer to you stands as well. It has been a long time since I have had the pleasure." Lisette met Sophie's eyes, and they shared a long look.
"I might just take you up on that if I keep having these dreams." Lisette said, shaking her head. "I hate waking up that way."
"I am right across the hall." Sophie smiled beautifully, and Lisette took a sip of her water. They finished their dinner and went to the movies, where Lisette indulged in her popcorn craving and cried at the break up scene. Both of the girls were wiping their eyes with the extra napkins as they walked home, and Lisette took extra breaths as she walked. She went home and walked into her room and took another breath as she faced the first night alone in there for awhile. Her pillows still smelled like him, and she let a tear slide down her cheek as she curled up under the covers and inhaled his scent. She fell asleep to Muse over her speakers and slept the best that she had in the past few days. She woke up in the morning, ate breakfast, and got ready to head to the loft before she worked that night. She finished up her current painting and set it aside to dry as she cleaned her brushes and hummed along to The Swellers before getting ready for work. LaFayette chatted with her as he got up for the day and they went to grab a late lunch together. While she missed the tips from The Diner, Lisette enjoyed not working the two jobs and having some free time. It made her think of Eric and how much she missed him more than she would if she were working, but the painting was a good thing right now. She felt so up and down otherwise, and had so much trouble during the nights when she was alone. It was the worst part of the day for her, and she often wondered if he missed her as well then. Lisette wondered if he was dating someone else, since his phone calls to check in were brief and not too chatty. She missed their laughter and passion, though it had been so brief in between the stress. She missed him to her very core, no matter how much she told herself that she could stop.
Lisette finished up another painting the morning of her appointment, and went to get ready to meet Eric with a nervous stomach. She pulled on her soon not to fit skinny jeans and a plum camisole with a steel gray cardigan, and did her make up carefully. She brushed her newly cut hair as she stared at herself in the mirror, thinking absently. She worried about seeing him, about her baby and how it was doing, and about her entire future. It was so uncertain. She grabbed her purse and walked outside and started down the street to their favorite restaurant. He had seemed surprised at her offer to meet him and then pleased to hear that she was spending time at the loft when she explained why. She stared at the building as she walked in her flats, getting shakier by the moment. It had been three weeks since their split, and she was so anxious about this meeting. However, there would be more no matter what the outcome of it. Lisette reached the doors and took a deep breath as she walked inside slowly.
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So there it is. I would love your thoughts on how well I transitioned with the unintentional changes, and thanks again to Alec Ramsey for the help. Love ya, girl!