"Insolent girl! What on earth were you thinking?" Jamie all but screamed. "You could have lost us our most valuable horse!"
"I'm sorry, Jamie," I whispered, tears forming in my eyes.
"Do not call me that," he hissed. "You will address me as Major Stewart or sir. Do you understand?"
"I'm not one of your soldiers, you know."
"Do you understand?" he repeated firmly.
I set my jaw and looked him coldly in the eyes. My admiration of him diminished wavered for a moment before I silently reminded myself that he was doing what he had to to keep his company in order. "Yes, sir."
With a victorious look on his face, Jamie turned on his heel and left me alone with Narmada and James. I tried to ignore James, feeling utterly embarrassed that I had stolen his horse and managed to get myself hurt because of my own stupidity. We all stood (well, sat in my case) in awkward silence before Narmada took a deep breath and looked around at me and James.
"Well, I think somebody's a little cranky this morning," she joked.
I let out a half smile, but remained silent as I thought of how to appropriately explain myself. "I know I acted very stupidly and I'm sorry, but... I wasn't thinking straight," I tried hopelessly. "Oh, I don't know why I did what I did! I was just being the idiot that I am and didn't stop to think about what the consequences of my actions would be. I never stopped to think about the fact that I barely know how to canter on a horse, let alone gallop or even trot." A sigh escaped my lips as I hung my head in embarrassment and shame. What must James think of me? "I'm sorry for acting sort of like a spoiled brat and doing what I want to do even if I'm completely clueless on how to actually accomplish it."
"You're still a dummyhead," my friend said while James added, "Do not worry so."
They shared an awkward, shy glance of apology before Narmada awkwardly mumbled that she was going to leave us "to it". I was almost completely positive that she actually meant that if we were going to engage in some PDA, we should do it once she was gone. He doesn't like me that way, you silly, I silently told my friend as she left the room.
"I'm sorry I stole your horse," I mumbled, keeping my sudden tears at bay.
"I can honestly say that perhaps that wasn't the most... intelligent action to take. Not that you aren't intelligent, of course, but..." He trailed off, not sure how to end the extreme awkwardness between us.
"No, it was pretty dumb of me. I, uh, don't always think before I act. Something else I need to work on."
We remained in a seemingly eternal silence, my thoughts frenzied and anxious. He probably thinks I'm one of those women who throw tantrums or something, which I'm not. He probably thinks I'm the stupidest girl on the planet. What was I even thinking? I wonder if he's disappointed in me... Probably so. After all, I know I would be disappointed in myself. I am disappointed in myself. I'm also an idiot.
"Uh, Jamie wished for me to speak with you," James said suddenly, drawing me from my thoughts. He slowly came to sit in the chair Narmada had used when I first woke up. "He's... concerned that you might be spies-"
"What?" Spies? Really? Do I look like bloody Natasha Romanoff to him? "He thinks I'm a spy? A German spy?"
"Yes."
"Why? I mean, I know he really dislikes me, but really? A spy? That's just... dumb."
James tried to smile, but apparently he wasn't in a fantastic mood. "Can you blame him? You mysteriously appeared here in our camp with no apparent reason and you have conveniently forgotten how you even arrived here."
"Don't tell me you actually agree with him! I-I... James, please tell me you don't think I'm here to trick you-"
"I don't. I think that Jamie is extremely annoyed and upset with you and therefore isn't thinking straight."
I pursed my lips and sighed. "I'll just bet he doesn't think Narm-alia is a spy." Damn! I need to remember her name is Natalia, not Narmada.
This time James managed a smile. "Not really, no."
"I thought so," I replied with a smirk.
My smirk quickly diminished, however. Tears formed in my eyes as I tried to avoid James's gaze. "I'm sorry I was an idiot," I whispered as I stared down at his legs. "And I'm sorry I made your best friend angry. And that I disappointed you. I know you must think I'm some sort of arrogant little snot who always throws a fit when she doesn't get what she wants. I'm really not."
James sat quietly with his brows drawn together. Finally he reached forward and placed a hand on my own. "I do not think you are arrogant, my dear, and I am not disappointed in you. I am unsure why you behaved so rashly, but women's antics have always been something of a mystery to me." I smiled slightly, trying to keep my cheeks from turning red at the contact of our hands. "Do try not to fret so much."