Hey hey! So I'm back! And only one more chapter after this one! Wow, I can't believe it all. Can you? So Sad, aww. Will you all be sad that it's almost over, or happy?

I have nothing to say about this chapter because I don't want to, except be ready for much heavy emotion. Very heavy emotion. Except that it's the LONGEST chapter I have written.

Again THANKYOU to all who review this story! You're all wonderful! And THANK YOU to all who faved this story or alerted it, you too are lovely! Even those who simply read this story I give my most sincere thanks.
Responses from me:

Guest: That is a very cute idea. I may just use it! And I am defiantly thinking about it.

Scarlett: No! I swear that's not my intention, but haha toying with emotions is kind of my specialty. But aw, I'm glad there was a smile through tears ;) Your reviews are always just so wonderful to read. They really always make my day! But thank you, thank you so much! You can kill Gustavo if you like, go ahead ;). I know poor baby Logie. Haha, isn't that a beautiful name for Logan? Very fitting! Buuut I am most defiantly thinking about a sequel I just need to come up with a plot and ideas first. ;) But thank you! You always are just so kind and absolutely wonderful! Thank you for making my day. Thanks! Lots of love also! :D

SWACGleekFreak: Haha, I get lazy to log in a lot also. ;) But I'm happy you are still reading this story and enjoying it! I know, poor little Logie.

So, umm…enjoy?

Chapter 14: Breaking

January 3, 2011- 8:45 p.m.

James and Kendall stared at Kelly, whom was standing in their door way for a few moments. They couldn't read her expression. Her face was blank, but a smile was on her lips. This left James and Kendall feeling a bit cautious for a moment. But the two shook off the feeling, remembering what they had agreed upon as of this morning.

"Kelly, uh hi!" James greeted the woman with a bright grin. "We were actually just about to give you a call. Kendall and I want to discuss something." He said happily. The slight pain on her face and even more forced smile went unnoticed by Kendall and James. Kendall waved inside their home, stepping back to allow Kelly to enter their house. She gave the two men a weak smile before stepping in the front door.

"Come on, we can talk on the couch." Kendall said as he helped Kelly out of her jacket. James led Kelly to their living room, while Kendall hung up the jacket.

"Do you want anything to drink? Or eat maybe?" James offered when he noticed he and Kendall had their Coke cans still out. Kelly bit her lip but shook her head. She seated herself stiffly onto the couch, shoulders hunched a bit, and mouth pressed in a thin line. James smiled once more at her before Kendall finally returned to the room.

The blonde slid into his seat next to James, across from Kelly, immediately taking James' hand. James smiled at his fiancé and squeezed his hand reassuringly. Deep down, his heart was racing wildly in his chest, beating like an erratic drum. By the look in Kendall's eyes, he could tell Kendall was just as nervous as he was. They were really doing this.

They were finally doing this.

"So, Kendall and I would really like to discuss something very important with you, concerning Logan." James said after taking a deep breath. For a moment, Kelly's eyes widened as she looked between the two. Is she figuring out what we're trying to say?

Kendall opened his mouth to continue with James' thought and add the explanation but Kelly beat his to it.

"Logan's being adopted."

Freeze. Cut.

James felt his entire body becoming rigid and stiff upon the words being uttered from Kelly's mouth. His heart suddenly froze over with dreadful ice, and his throat became dry. He could no longer feel Kendall's hand in his own as his body froze over with fear.

Next to James, Kendall had also stiffened. Though his next actions were not as frozen as James' were. Rather, Kendall thought Kelly was just beating him to the punch line.

"You know…?"

"Yes, of course I do. I am his caretaker." Kelly whispered softly, eyes casted downward. She couldn't bear looking at James' face for another minute. Never before had she seen so much pain, etched onto a person's face, except when she had first met Logan. "Logan's adoption came to me earlier, and I was the first aware."

Kendall frowned for a moment and he could only stare at Kelly. How had she known that they wanted to do this? They were about to call today! He glanced over at James to read his expression, and suddenly it all clicked.

It was as if a light bulb had gone off inside of Kendall's head. And his eyes widened with fear; his heart rate picked up and his breathing was suddenly much quicker. As if he couldn't get enough air. He could feel his own heart splitting open in half with realization. The agony had torn into him, ripping and shredding every ounce of emotion bottled inside him. The pain of the truth was too much.

Kelly wasn't talking about them.

She meant another couple.

After that, not another word was uttered, and the sharp silence hung above their heads. When James saw the pain in Kendall's eyes, and the color drain from Kendall's face, his heart had broken completely. And his worst fear had been confirmed.

They were too late.

Tear pooled into his hazel eyes and his vision began to turn blurry due to the tears. His throat was closing up and burning from a sharp lump of pain. He couldn't bear it anymore. He'd never felt this pain before, except when he thought he'd nearly lost Kendall. The pain was becoming too much.

His lower lip trembled and James clamped his top row of teeth onto his lower lip to hide the trembling. His hands were shaking at his side. It was then he realized Kendall's own hand was shaking inside of his.

"Oh." Was all James could utter. Just one word. But yet, in that one word, there was so much pain and agony laced within it. There was a broken man, uttering his last words. All it took was one word, and Kelly swallowed her tears.

"The couple I mentioned, when you first came James, they called us back. They called us to say, they wanted to adopt Logan. They have almost had all the paperwork done." Kelly whispered voice hoarse and wavering from emotions. She scanned her eyes across the room, looking anywhere – anywhere but at Kendall and James.

For now, they both wore masks of agony.

"They really want him." Kelly said after a deep breath. Kendall and James remained silent. Kelly felt a lump rising in her throat when she understood why they were so upset. It was as if a dark cloud had suddenly fallen over everyone in the room.

"T-That's good for L-Logan." James managed to choke out. He didn't know honestly, how much more he could take. They were too late! Too late! The pain in his throat and his chest was becoming unbearable as the realization was really settling in. His heart was throbbing like never before and tears were filling faster in his eyes. It was only a matter of seconds before he would lose control.

"E-Excuse me." James muttered and all but sprinted out of the living room.

Leaving Kendall and Kelly alone.

Kelly swallowed when the dark silence rang on, as she watched James' retreating figure. Kendall looked as if he were frozen in his place. His face was a deathly pale white, and his eyes were become glassy and red. This only confirmed Kelly's thoughts. Which deeply hurt her.

"S-Someone else?" Kendall broke the silence. Kelly winced at the crack in his voice. She noticed entirely how broken Kendall managed to sound once more, and her heart ached. With a thick swallow, Kelly nodded and forced herself to look at Kendall right in the eyes.

Mistake number one.

In Kendall's eyes, it was a window into his soul and emotions. She could see the pain and agony; she could feel the sorrow and hurt; and she could feel the anger and regret. She was gazing into a window of a broken man who looked as if he had lost everything.

"Yes. It's an older couple who had first looked at Logan in the past." Kelly whispered. "They were going to adopt him before but couldn't…commit and canceled the whole ordeal." Kelly continued softly.

Mistake number two.

"Couldn't commit!?" Kendall snapped harshly. The evident anger was showing more and more now. "So suddenly now they are ready to commit!?" He hissed, causing Kelly to flinch. She didn't flinch at his voice, no; rather she flinched at the hot, angry tears that were now trailing down Kendall's face.

"Kendall." Kelly sighed. "Look, they are a very nice couple and they will give Logan a permanent home that's good for him." She tried to explain gently. Kendall swallowed and his anger dissolved, but the tears trailed faster and faster.

She…she doesn't know we…we were going to…

"Right." Kendall sat back, body suddenly cold and numb. Kelly sympathized and sat straighter.

"We did this because you only have a day left in the foster program. The couple agreed to fly out here until the tenth, to allow you and James to finish your time with 'Home For The Holidays' with Logan." Kelly said softly. Kendall didn't move from his spot, as the crystal tears poured from his red eyes and down his numb cheeks. Kelly swallowed and stood up.

"I-I'll show myself out. Logan leaves to meet them on the fifth. Then he leaves for Minnesota on the tenth." With that, Kelly was out the room, out the house door and out of their lives.

But Kendall couldn't stop the hole from bleeding in his cold chest.

They were too late.

X.X.X.X

Telling Logan hadn't been easy at all. In fact, Logan had reacted much worse to the news than either James or Kendall imagined. For all three of them.

Logan had been in his room, building an army of his toy green soldiers – which he had received from Kendall and James for Christmas – against his pile of stuffed animals. His room was messy like that of a child who had been living here for more than a month. A room for a child who would continue living here.

James couldn't bring himself to speak just yet. Unshed tears built in his eyes, as he bit his lip to keep the tears from falling and making any sound. He and Kendall just stood outside the doorway, not making a sound or moving. They simply watched the happy child.

Kendall and James hadn't spoken a word to each other since speaking with Kelly. They couldn't speak to each other without seeing the evident pain, in one another's face. James could feel Kendall shaking next to him, and he gently took a hold of Kendall's hand and squeezed. It took a few seconds, but James could feel Kendall squeeze back.

That was when Logan noticed the two. He paused in midway into his battle, to glance up at James and Kendall in the doorway. Instantly, he brightened upon seeing the two adults. He dropped one of his toy soldiers to wave eagerly at James and Kendall.

This only caused more pain to erupt on both Kendall and James. He had no idea. Logan still beamed towards the tow adults, but when he received two forced and weak smiles his senses went up. Something was wrong. Immediately, concern rose in Logan and he hopped to his feet. His eyes locked on to James' and then Kendall's eyes.

They held the same emotion.

Pain.

Logan rushed over to the two adults he had grown to love and adore. He wrapped skinny arms around James' waist, taking one of Kendall's hands in his own. Gently he looked up.

"What's wrong?" Logan asked quietly. James and Kendall did not answer his question. Instead, they tightened their grips on Logan. By then, Logan could feel the tremors passing through both James and Kendall.

"Logan," Kendall finally spoke. His voice was hoarse, no higher than a weak croak. This instantly concerned Logan. "We need…to talk with you Logan." Kendall said softly. Logan nodded with a grin. He would make time for Kendall and James any time now. James and Kendall had managed to worm their way into his heart. After New Year's all traces of doubt and sadness for James and Kendall, left Logan completely.

Logan felt himself being lifted up and into James' arms. He grinned again and buried deeper into James' neck, as James led them to Logan's bed. James and Kendall sat down on the bed, with Logan still on James' lap.

For a few minutes, there was only silence. James and Kendall didn't speak at first and Logan opted to keep quiet and wait. He could feel James' arms tighten around him.

"Logan, James and I have something to tell you." Kendall broke the silence with a gentle whisper. Logan looked up from James' chest to look into Kendall's dull, green eyes. Logan felt James' hands beginning to tremble, but he chose to ignore it. Just like he chose to ignore James' silence. "Logan…you are very special. As I told you two days ago, you are a special little boy to James and I. You hold a very special place in our hearts, a place that no one can ever replace."

Logan frowned in confusion but his mind began reeling for possible explanations for why James and Kendall were saying this. Could they mean…?

"We love you Logie. Very much." James whispered. His voice had surprised Logan greatly. James' voice sounded hoarse and cracked in the middle. His voice sounded like he was almost broken. Logan frowned even deeper at these thoughts and looked up in James' eyes. Again to his surprise, he noticed the tears piling in James' eyes. "In fact…we love you so much that we…we wanted to…we wanted…" James took a deep breath and swallowed his sorrow. "We wanted to adopt you."

It had felt as if Logan's heart had stopped beating. The breath he was taken rushed out of his chest with a loud whoosh! and his eyes widened. Emotions were racing through Logan as he stared at James with his mouth agape. His tummy was filling with a hundred fluttering butterflies, while his heart drummed quickly like a humming bird's wing.

For a moment, Logan couldn't speak. Was this a dream? Could this really be happening to him?

Eventually he found his voice. "R-Really?"

At the spark of hope and joy that was inside Logan's eyes, James could feel a sob making its way through his throat. He hunched to push the sob back and swallowed thickly. Kendall could clearly see that spark of life in Logan's eyes, and it took all of his strength to not break down in front of Logan and James. It was then he realized Logan had asked them a question.

"Oh yes Logie. We mean it." Kendall whispered, his voice was laced with emotion. Emotion that Logan mistook of powerful happiness. It was then that a smile blossomed across Logan's face and his chocolate eyes came to life. Kendall simply wanted to cry.

"You guys want t-to adopt m-me?" Logan breathed looking back and forth from Kendall to James. His own eyes were beginning to fill with tears, tears of joy that is. This must be how Kendall and James felt. This must be why they both had tears.

Oh how wrong he was.

"Yes. More than anything." James croaked. He blinked to try and keep his tears at bay so they would not fall. "Kendall and I decided and agreed on it on New Years day while you were in the hospital." James could feel his throat beginning to close and his eyes were stinging sharply. But he couldn't stop now. He had to keep going, or he feared he wouldn't speak again. "But Logan, something happened."

But? But what? Buts can never mean anything good. Logan thought quickly and for a second he could feel dread creeping up behind him. Now his heart was racing in fear and in panic.

"Logan," Kendall tried but his voice died on his tongue. He couldn't find the right words to tell the heartbreaking news to Logan. How could he break this to the little boy he grew to love? How? "Logan…you are being adopted. But, you're being adopted…by someone else." Kendall stared at Logan, who had gone rigid. He searched for any sign of panic or an attack, but much to his relief Logan did not show any signs.

However, Logan did show signs of despair.

"What?" James nearly choked on his tears at the sound of Logan's pain filled voice. He never believed Logan's voice could sound more painful than it had that night of his attack. But yet, his voice at this moment, sounded ten times worse.

"Logan, I'm sorry. James and I were going to call Kelly but…but she came to us. Earlier today. And she told us…that you were being adopted, by another couple." Kendall whispered. He struggled to keep his voice even without cracking. But his façade was cracking.

Logan looked horrified by then; his face had gone completely white. "W-Why? Who?" He cried desperately. James swallowed, closing his eyes and he tightened his grip on Logan.

"D-Do you remember that couple, that came to talk and visit with you a couple of months ago?" James asked quietly. Logan looked at James frantically, searching his face to see that James and Kendall were only joking. He found nothing of the sort. Slowly he nodded. "It was an older couple. They came close to adopting you but they didn't." Again Logan nodded as his tears poured from his eyes and down his cheeks. "Well, they're adopting you. For real. They've filled out the paperwork for you, before Kendall and I could. They're adopting you now."

Logan's heart was breaking and his head was aching and he pushed himself away from James. "No…" He whispered.

But to his horror Kendall nodded. "I'm sorry Logan. They go to you before we could. You stay with us until the tomorrow – it is the end of the foster program – and then Kelly comes. You fly back to Minnesota with them on the tenth." Kendall said brokenly. His body had gone numb and he could't even bring himself to comfort Logan.

"No. No." Logan murmured in horror.

"I'm sorry Logie." James said softly, his voice betraying his inner emotions, by remaining steady without cracking. He watched through his tears and Logan violently pushed himself away from him and Kendall. "B-But you're going to a nice home Logan. They'll take care of you.

"I don't want them! I want you guys!" Logan finally cried and the sorrow had washed on Logan. Sobs tore from his chest as he pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes to stop the tears.

Kendall and James could only stare at Logan with shock and regret. They had no idea, Logan had grown this attached. Just as they had grown attached to Logan. Their hearts had finally broken into little pieces inside their chest, and the sorrow filled their throats painfully.

"Oh Logan," James rasped. Logan only sobbed louder at his name, causing the tears to finally fall from James' eyes and onto the bed. He couldn't do this much longer. He just couldn't. "I'm sorry we couldn't. I'm so sorry."

"I don't care! Sorry won't change anything." Logan cried painfully. He twisted away from James' comforting hand and curled himself into a ball. "I don't wanna leave! I don't wana go." His voice had gotten higher and higher with each word until he was almost screaming.

"We don't want you to go either Logan." Kendall said gravelly. His throat was getting tighter with each of Logan's awful sobs. "We love you and we want you to stay."

"Then let me stay!" Logan cried, jerking out of his ball and pushing towards Kendall. Kendall's breath hitched when he saw the begging of hope in Logan's red eyes. He couldn't find his voice upon seeing the plead on Logan's tear streaked face. "Please don't make me go away, please!"

"Oh Logan, I wish we could. I wish you could stay forever with us. We love you so much." Kendall murmured in a throaty and gruff voice. Logan's lower lip trembled as more tears gathered in his glassy eyes.

"Please don't make me go away Kenny. Don't make me leave." Logan begged brokenly. It was getting too much for Kendall by now. He buried his face into his hands as his tears finally spilt over and the sobs came free.

"I-I don't w-want you to l-leave L-Logan either." Kendall sobbed.

"Then don't make me leave! Please!" Logan begged and he poured every ounce of his soul into his words. Kendall could only continue to cry into his hands. He had finally broken.

"Logan…we would never make you leave. Never." Logan snapped his head towards James, who was trembling with tears along his face. His eyes begged for an answer he so desired, and James nearly fell apart. "But you have to. Logan, Kelly said they're a nice couple. And you're going to a great home."

"It doesn't matter! I want to stay, with you Jamie! And with Kenny!" Logan snapped harshly, his tears flowing faster by the minute. "Don't send me away, please! Please." Logan begged pitifully.

James' entire body shook with sorrow and he so badly wished he could tell Logan he could stay. He wanted nothing more than to allow what Logan wished and what he wished.

"I'm sorry Logie. There's nothing we can do." James whispered.

Logan had visibly flinched back by James' words. So this was it? Suddenly he felt himself growing angry underneath all his sorrow. If he was leaving then he did not want to miss either of them. And, he did not want them to miss him.

"I hate you!" Logan finally screamed.

For James and Kendall, who thought their hearts couldn't take any more pain, felt their hearts had shattered by Logan's words. The dull ache in their chests now burned with pain and agony. Logan…hated them?

"W-What?" James stammered.

"I hate you!" Logan screamed again through tears. He curled himself as far away from James and Kendall as possible in the room. Kendall and James remained frozen in their seats. Their tears were still running down their cold faces and their eyes…their eyes filled with so much pain, that guilt nearly consumed Logan. But he was far to upset to care.

Instead he curled up and sobbed even louder. "I hate you! Go away! Leave me alone!" Logan screamed again.

"L-Logan. We're sorry –" James tried.

"I said go away!" Logan interrupted James loudly, through his sobs." Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me…alone…" He sobbed brokenly.

Kendall and James didn't even feel their legs as they got up. Their bodies were too cold and numb to feel, as they made their way out of the room. Away from Logan.

January 5, 2012- 7:45 p.m.

This wasn't how any three of them wanted to spend their last two days together. Broken, with regret and sorrow. Hurt beyond recognition. And worst of all, unspeaking towards each other.

Logan had locked himself in his room for the rest of the day after the heartbreaking talk with James and Kendall. Yesterday, the door was unlocked but Logan never came out of his room, not even to eat. And Kendall and James never bothered to go in.

Kelly was the only one who could get Logan to come out, and that was only because he was leaving today to meet his new "parents". Logan had been stubborn, very stubborn. He tried in every way to stall and remain in this house. But Kelly was also stubborn.

In the end, Kelly won.

Right now, she had two large suitcases waiting by the taxi outside, while she held Logan's hand. Logan was dressed in his coat, clutching Benny tightly to his chest. This would be all he had left of them. Kelly had filled a suitcase with most of the new clothes James' bought for Logan, and his other suitcase was filled with all the presents he had received from everyone this Christmas.

His head was hanging low, but there were no tears anymore. He had finally run out of tears today. He never picked his head up, not even to say goodbye to James or Kendall. He didn't want them to miss him.

But James and Kendall had followed Logan and Kelly all the way out to the taxi. Like Logan, they had also wiped away the last of their tears and wore expressionless masks on their faces. They had tried to get Logan to talk, to say goodbye, but the child didn't budge once.

Just as she was about to help Logan into the taxi, she looked back at James and Kendall standing behind them. His heart reached for the two hurt men and his throat tightened. Quickly she spoke.

"Logan, don't you want to say goodbye to Kendall and James?" She asked softly, kneeling down to his height. Logan didn't raise his head at first. He only shook it.

He didn't want to.

Kelly sighed and waited to see if Logan would change his mind. But still the child didn't move or budge. He only lifted his gaze to Kelly, and finally she could really see the hurt and pain in his eyes. And finally she understood.

Reluctantly, she allowed the child to enter the taxi without another word, before she too entered. Just before she closed the door, she bit her lip and looked back at Kendall and James.

Then quietly she said, "Thank you. I'm sorry." With that the door closed and the taxi sped away from Kendall and James' sight. And their dreams left with it.

X.X.X.X

That night, neither Kendall nor James spoke a word. Not to each other, not even to answer and pick up the phone. Instead, they both went straight to their bed and crawled under the covers. Their backs were turned to one another, and neither man slept.

Their shattered hearts were beyond mending and piercing their chests and lungs with such agonized pain. The reality of Logan truly being gone – gone from their lives – had finally sunk in. And the pain was so much more worse.

Finally Kendall spoke. "We could always try again. For another."

But even Kendall knew those words were a waste and meant absolutely nothing to either of them. They were lost words that would never bring that same spark to either of them again.

Nobody could ever replace Logan.

X.X.X.X

January 7, 2012- 12:30 p.m.

The hallow feeling in their chests wasn't going away. The pain was still there everywhere they went, every time they woke up. It never left them alone. Not even for a second.

Kendall and James were both trying to pretend as if nothing had happened. They were both forcing themselves to go on with their lives and to forget everything about him. They went back to their works that day Logan left. And they buried themselves in it.

It wasn't healthy and everyone around them could see it.

James forced Gustavo to work on new songs, to allow James to write, sing, and dance all in a matter of a couple of days. He stayed later at the studio, overexerting himself to the point of exhaustion. But even then he never stopped. He pushed himself harder, farther beyond his limits at the studio. It was wearing his body down. But he couldn't stop, if he was focused on his work all day then the pain and thoughts of Logan could be pushed back to a spot where James wouldn't need to think about him.

All he wanted was for the pain to go away.

But finally Gustavo had enough. He couldn't let James continue to work himself to death like this. Gustavo had never forgotten that Logan had nearly died because of panicking from the words he said. His guilt had never gone away, and it only grew as James exhausted himself. Until one day he exploded. He told James he was not to return to work until he was well again. He told James he would fire him if he didn't go home and learn to get over everything, so he wouldn't work himself to exhaustion. Only when Gustavo threatened to fire James, did James finally listen.

But his reasoning was this: If he were fired, then there would be nothing to distract his thoughts. Grimly he agreed and went home right away.

His home had never felt so empty before. Not even after his fight with Kendall. Because this time, Kendall and Logan weren't here. Kendall stayed out later for practices once more, everyday. He would leave as soon as James was gone and wouldn't return until after midnight. Kendall had also buried himself into his hockey.

Kendall and James were seeing less and less of each other, and it hurt.

James' heart hurt when he noticed Kendall's absence again when he returned home from work. He stood in his kitchen, staring at the floor numbly for hours before he finally moved. James avoided the living room, with the Christmas tree, at all costs. It only brought up more painful memories.

It was once he reached his bed, that he remembered Logan's letter. The letter with the green envelope. The letter James and Kendall hadn't read yet. The letter was in the drawer next to his bed.

James couldn't tell you why he went to find the letter. He also couldn't say what made him read the letter. But he could tell you it was a mistake.

And the heartache only worsened.

X.X.X.X

January 9, 2012- 12:02 a.m.

Kendall sighed as he opened the front door of his dark home. The darkness seemed so appropriate for his feelings at the moment, and during the last few days. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe he was really gone.

It made Kendall want to cry.

This was why he should have never agreed with James in the first place. If he had never agreed this would have never happened. And this pain would have never come.

His hands balled into fists as he threw his duffle bag in the kitchen. He swallowed when he recalled the previous practice.

His teammates had watched their captain become stoic and emotionless one day at practice. They noticed how he stayed longer – longer than anyone of them – at every practice now. They also noticed how angry Kendall had suddenly become. That's when they found out about Logan.

And their hearts broke in sympathy for Kendall and James. Logan was what they needed.

At first the team attempted to help Kendall, to get him to talk. But Kendall had snapped at anyone who brought up Logan or even his name. He brushed off all of their concerns harshly, and practiced hard. Too hard. He was on the brink of exhaustion at the end of every practice and at the start of every practice. They knew Kendall wasn't sleeping. They knew Kendall was going to hurt himself if he continued. Finally it was Carlos who put his foot down.

He demanded Kendall to go home and simply rest. And to talk to James. This had resulted in Kendall angrily yelling at Carlos to mind his own business. But Carlos wouldn't back down. A screaming match had resulted between the two and harsh words were exchanged. Finally, Carlos had brought the coach in and yelled something low.

He had yelled that Kendall was going to ruin his relationship with James.

This infuriated Kendall and a he snapped. He punched Carlos straight in the nose. And he was about to go for more until the coach stopped him. He explained his disappointment in Kendall and told Kendall he was benched for the next three weeks.

Finally Kendall realized what he had done to Carlos, and he was violently sick. He was just like his father.

Kendall wanted to scream with fury and agony but instead he marched upstairs and into his bedroom. There James was already asleep, curled into a pitiful ball. Kendall's heart lurched at the sight and a lump formed in his throat.

Just as he was about to join James, he noticed a letter on his dresser.

With a green envelope.

X.X.X.X

January 9, 11:15 p.m.

They were at it again. Fighting.

"This is all your fault! You just had to go through with this in the beginning!"

"My fault!? It was your fault! Maybe if you had opened up to him right away, we could have made the decision sooner! Then he would still be here!"

"You should have never even brought him here! Look at what it's done!"

"Are you denying ever loving him?"

"I always loved him!"

"So did I!"

"But it's your fault for getting us into this mess! You should have never done this!"

"Maybe I just should have never agreed to marry you!"

It was the same every night. The fighting, the screaming but never any physical fighting. Then the crying, and the pain and tears. The apologizing. The tears. Then, the silence.

It was always the same.

X.X.X.X

Dear Santa,

Thank you so much for giving me just what I wanted for Christmas! You actually gave me more than I asked and could ever have hoped for! Instead you gave me two someone's. Two, very special someone's. Instead, you gave me James and Kendall. And I couldn't be happier. They are my saviors, my heroes. They love me as if I were there son and adored me. With James and Kendall I finally got to know what it feels like to be loved. Loved for real. And it is amazing. Thank you! Thank you so much for giving me James and Kendall! I couldn't ask for anyone else. I wouldn't want anyone else. Only them. Because I love them. I love Kendall and James with all my heart! Just as they love me. So thank you. Thank you for giving me two people who love me.

Logan Mitchell (age: 5)

January 10, 2012- 11:30 a.m.

They were rushing. Sprinting actually. They were sprinting as fast as they could, panting heavily with determination and worry. They didn't have time to spare. They had to hurry. They couldn't miss them.

Kendall and James were currently sprinting through the airport, past dozens of gates, feeling as if time wasn't on their side. Their hearts were hammering with anticipation and adrenaline. Their pulses raced wildly.

They had to make it! They had to!

It was when they woke up, did James and Kendall finally enter his old room. There were still books and pictures and toys across the floor of his room. But that was when they finally noticed the inhaler and medication sitting on the dresser. And the missing photo album.

Their eyes had widened in realization. Logan needed his inhaler and medication. Kendall had called Kelly immediately and demanded to know when the flight Logan was taking was set to leave. Today was the tenth!

The two of them had driven to the airport, ignoring the speed limit and signs of the road, before rushing to a front desk. It took nearly two minutes of begging, yelling, crying and pleading with the front desk to direct them to gate 21B. Luckily, the woman behind the desk realized it was a serious situation. She had grabbed two airport security guards who lead James and Kendall through security and to the gate. Once they could clearly see the gate, James and Kendall broke into a sprint.

It was an 11:40 flight.

"Logan! Logan! Logan!" James and Kendall cried, when Logan's little fluffy head came into view. They ignored the other people around them, staring in curiosity and shock at two men running and yelling through an airport.

"Logan!" Logan jumped a foot in the air when his name had been yelled loudly. His eyes widened and his heart hammered as he pulled from the kind man who was adopting him. He turned around and his heart nearly stopped.

Kendall. James.

They were here.

Logan ignored every thought that ran through his mind, telling him to turn around. To forget them. Instead he pushed past the kind couple adopting him and broke into a sprint of his own. He leaped into James' arms burying his face in James' sweaty neck, as tears fell from his eyes. He didn't care if he wanted them to not miss him.

He missed them.

"Oh Logan!" James whispered hoarsely, clutching the boy tighter to his chest. He swayed on his feet and swung Logan in a circle. Kendall had reached the startled couple. Panting, he handed them the inhaler and medicine.

"T-These are L-Logan's…medications…he left them…at…at our…house." Kendall panted. The startled older gentlemen took the medication in surprise. A look of realization hit the woman as she gently touched her husband's arms. Kendall panted once more before walking to James and Logan.

"I-I missed you! I-I'm sorry." Logan cried softly into James's neck. A weak smile filled James' face. Gently he pulled Logan out of his arms and into Kendall's. The five-year-old latched on tightly.

"I'm sorry I was so mean! I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye!" Logan croaked quietly. Kendall smiled and hugged Logan closer.

"Shh, it's fine Logan. We aren't mad." Kendall said softly. Logan sniffled and reached for James. He wrapped one around James in a hug while he remained in Kendall's arms.

"I don't hate you. Not at all." Logan sniffled and pulled back. His looked to see tears falling from James and Kendall's eyes, but each wore a gentle smile. "I just...I just wanted to make you made…s-so you w-wouldn't miss me." Logan said guilty.

Relief swarmed through James and Kendall and both laughed softly. Gently, James pulled Logan's chin up.

"Logan, we could never hate you. We love you too much. No matter what, we are always going to miss you." James said firmly. Logan hiccupped and wiped his eyes.

"I-I'll miss y-you guys too. S-So much Jamie." He hiccupped. James smiled softly and rubbed Logan's head. "A-And Kenny t-too."

"So we will. But maybe we can come and visit." Kendall whispered. He, James and Logan were unaware of the surprising looks from the couple behind them, unaware of their thoughts. " But you be good for them. They're going to give you a good home. Alright?"

"P-Please?" Logan bit his lip looking up once more with those innocent, chocolate eyes. Firmly, James and Kendall hooked their pinkies with each of Logan's small pinkies.

Five smiles spread.

"We promise Logan."

"Flight 21B, leaving for St. Paul, Minnesota now boarding. Flight 21B now boarding."

So yeah….I have no words to say now except uh, bye? *Runs to cower under my bed* One more chapter left, so you can't kill me just yet! Gah!

So sad to write. Only one more chapter. Hopefully I'll get it up either today or early tomorrow. But school starts. Ick.

So please leave any thoughts and comments or threats…in a review please! Please? *Cowers again*

Thanks and peace out!