ALL JOSH WANTS IS A BAG OF DORITOS

(Cammie's pov.)

We had to be careful walking through town, what with me kind of stealing a bunch of stuff and assaulting a cashier, and whatnot. I'd send him what I owed later…maybe. But we made sure to keep an eye out as we ran to the pier.

"Okay, so how do we get off this island?" I asked. "Snowmobile?"

"No, they use something called a windsled," Josh told me, glancing around. "It should be coming soon, based on the schedule."

"I hope you're right," I said, looking around myself. "I have this horrible feeling that if I stick around longer then necessary, I'll manage to get arrested."

Roe narrowed her eyes at the ice. "Think you can stay out of trouble for another thirty some seconds?"

We all looked out to find a large vehicle—if you could call it that—coming our way. It looked like a giant metal box with two huge fans on the back. There was a single wheel on the front, and windows all over its sides. It was weird.

"That's our ride?" I asked.

"Unless you want to walk," Roe smirked. "Yes."

"We don't have any money," I yelled over the sound of the fans. I had to hold my hat on to keep it from flying off.

"NO!" Josh yelled. "You don't, but we do! We came prepared!"

"Well sorry I didn't pack for a road trip west," I muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing."

It stopped and as people hopped off, we bought tickets and loaded ourselves on. The inside was nothing special. Just some benches along the sides and two in the middle, and a corner blocked off for the driver. It looked like we were the only ones making this trip, so we sat in the back, and made ourselves comfortable.

Josh looked down at me, as though remembering something. "Okay, don't be angry, but I have some things for you," he told me, looking adorably nervous.

I quirked an eyebrow at him. "What…?"

He set his backpack on his lap, rummaging through it. He pulled out two things. My leather bound book of myths, and my cellphone.

I took them from him, looking them over.

"When I was at camp, I figured you might want some of your stuff, you know?" he said. "So I kind of snuck into your cabin and looked through your backpack. Those were the only two things I thought might be useful. I don't know, reading material, or something. A way to call for help in case of emergencies." He gave the phone a quizzical look. "Though I don't know why you have that in the first place. I thought you and Percy agreed no phones."

"We did, but the girls didn't get the memo," I said, referring to Liz and Bex. "After last summer they were afraid of not being able to get in touch with me during breaks, so they kind of forced it on me. I keep it off for the most part, only check it every once and a while when we're not together."

"Sucks how you can't explain it to them, huh?" Josh said. I nodded.

"I don't know why you don't just tell them," Roe scoffed. "It would make your life so much easier."

I laughed. "Yeah, being put in a mental institution is so much easier. No thanks."

"You don't think they'd believe you?"

"Uh, no. Liz is a girl of science and facts. She would never believe me. Same with Bex. I'd rather not test their faith in me."

"But you could explain," Roe insisted. "I don't know, show them or something."

"And hope they can see through the mist well enough to think it's not a trick? I'm not going to risk it."

"Well, come on, what's the worst that could happen," Josh asked.

"Uh, they think I'm crazy? Realize I lied to them the entire time we've known each other. Tell the headmistress who looks into me and my real life, finds out about my very colorful history in school destruction, think I'm some kind of enemy to the school. Realize Vanessa was the one who brought me, and suspect her of trying to bring the school down. Get Madam Dabney in trouble for knowing, ruin my families lives." They stared at me intently. "What?"

"Nothing," Josh muttered. "Just forgot how dramatic you can be sometimes."

I glared at him, pinching his hand.

"Ow!"

"I just think you shouldn't be withholding information from them," Roe said. "It's kind of manipulative."

I could not believe her! Now I know that lying to my friends was wrong—believe me, I know—but Roe was the queen of tight lipped pasts. Beyond knowing her godly parent was her mother, and that she was unclaimed, I knew nothing about where she came from. She had a pretty Asian face, with long black hair and incredible blue eyes, but I didn't know what came from where. Were her eyes her mom's or her dad's? Was the silky smoothness of her locks a trait on her father's side, or a side effect to having a godly mother? I'd never pushed her into telling me, mostly because she was very good at making me forget I'd even asked after bringing it up.

And when I'd called the Big House expecting Chiron and getting her evasive answers instead?

Maybe I was still really tired, or just frustrated with life in general, but I kind of snapped.

"Manipulative like forgetting to mention my brother went on a quest and telling me to wait for someone to come pick me up so you could escape yourself?" I asked coldly, crossing my arms. "Manipulative like that?"

She glared coolly at me. "You wouldn't have stayed put to wait for us," she defended.

"So you manipulated me into staying where I was for my own good?"

Roe rolled her eyes. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal?" I scoffed. "You don't get to lecture me on lying to my friends when you lied to me just hours ago! That's called being a hypocrite. How am I supposed to trust you're telling me everything when you can't even tell me the whole truth!?"

Roe looked slightly hurt by that, but she covered it well. Crossing her arms, she leaned back and looked out the window. Josh squirmed uncomfortably beside me.

"Uh, how about I sit in the middle now?" he asked. "Good idea? I think so."

Once we reached the mainland, we started walking. Middle of the day didn't make for a good time to steal a car. So we just decided to walk, which honestly wasn't very convenient, but was really the farthest we'd planned.

It wasn't a great walk, I'll tell you that. It was long and left our ankles feeling like lead. Not to mention, the tension was so thick, you couldn't even cut it with a chainsaw. I knew I overreacted, but try apologizing when your friend won't even look at you, and you're too stubborn to grovel.

So we went hours in the uncomfortable silence. It was dark before we even considered stopping.

After the long stretch of country road, we found a little bar and restaurant out in the middle of nowhere. It seemed like an illogical spot to open a business, but they must be doing well enough for themselves if they had customers.

"We've got to stop and get something to eat," Josh said. "My stomach has just about perfected its whale call."

I took a sniff of the air. "Smells like burgers."

"More like alcohol and smoke to me," Roe said, kicking cigarette away.

"Come on," Josh said. "Let's go in. We've got money, and we need to warm up before our fingers fall off."

I shrugged. "No harm in it, I guess. Let's check it out."

We walked up the stairs and let ourselves in, letting country music and the smoky air hit us. There were only a few customers inside and a few waiters. One looked up and gave us a worried look. He scurried off, going to the kitchen. Another came up to us, also giving us the look.

"Uh, can I help you," she said.

"Table please?" I asked. "We've got money, we swear."

Josh held up a few bills as proof.

"Uh, well I don't know," she said. "You guys are pretty young to be here by yourselves."

"Which is why they are going to leave," an angry voice yelled across the room. The waiter from before followed a short balding man in a flannel over to us.

"I'm the owner, and I'm not letting a much of brats like yourselves inside," he said stiffly. "This is a bar, and kids aren't allowed. Now get out."

"We just want some food," I explained, showing him the money. "That's all we want. You can't kick us out for that, can you?"

"I can and I will. This place has a bar and I won't get arrested for letting three underage children in here!"

"Olive Garden has a bar, too!" Roe yelled. "But I'm pretty sure they'd let us in there!"

"Well in case you haven't realized, this ain't no Olive Garden," the owner mocked. "Get out, or I call the cops."

"On three kids?" Josh asked incredulously. "You're not serious?"

"You're right; you won't be gone soon enough." He started pushing us out the door, not so gently throwing us down the stairs. "Go!"

Furious and humiliated, I stood up, helping my friends stand. "You don't have to be such a jerk!" I yelled, hauling Roe up to her feet.

"Just take your little gang of punks and scurry off to where you came from," the owner said dismissively, waving a hand.

"Would it be wrong to break his nose?" I hissed under my breath.

Roe gave me a meaningful look. "I don't see what's stopping you," she said.

I guess it was the least he deserved. I'd never been one to take bulling sitting down, no matter the size. So I walked calmly back up the steps, whistling to the man. "Hey, Tubs."

He turned back angrily. "I thought I told you to—"

The palm of my hand connected with his nose before he could finish the sentence. There was a sickening crack, and blood gushed everywhere. The owner cried out in pain, holding his now broken nose in his hands while he wept. I wiped his blood from my hand off on his shirt.

"Now, be a pal, and don't call the cops," I said calmly. "You know, they'd take too long to get here, and who knows what else a punk like myself might break in that time." I skipped down the steps. "You should have just given us our burgers!" I yelled back up to him, walking back to my friends. "That was fun," I smirked.

Josh wrapped an arm around my shoulders, patting my arm. "I love it when you get all violent like that," he smiled.

I held in my blush, but leaned into his body. "Why thank you, it's a favorite activity of mine."

He laughed, smiling down at me. "You're just amazing."

I could see Roe cross her arms, smirking. "Aren't you two just adorable? You think she's amazing. She thinks you're hot."

"Roe!" I hissed.

Josh just scoffed, wrapping his other arm around her. "A) she is amazing. And B) I am hot. You're just jealous."

We started walking away from the restaurant, and I could still hear the owner crying in the doorway.

"You think I'm jealous of Cammie?" Roe said, shocked.

"No, you're jealous of me and my good looks." Josh ran a hand through his hair. "I'm pretty attractive."

Roe rolled her eyes at me, and I chuckled. Our stomachs may be empty, and our feet still aching, but we seemed to be in higher spirits then before. We were crossing the large parking lot of the restaurant, when Josh suddenly stopped, dropping his arms from our shoulders. "Either I'm really hungry, or that's a family sized bag of Doritos."

He pointed across the lot, near the back of the building, at a tinted red dark spot. He started moving forward to investigate.

"You are not seriously going to eat a bag of Doritos you found on the ground, are you?" Roe asked.

"If it hasn't been opened, you can bet your jealous behind I am."

My friend rolled her eyes at me. "And you think he's a cutie."

I shrugged. "I like my men quirky. Anyways, who would leave an unopened bag of Doritos lying on the ground? I don't think we have anything to worry about."

"Guys!" he yelled, waving his arms excitedly. "It's closed!"

"What?" Roe yelled, going over to see for herself. "You can't be serious."

"Really, come look."

We gathered around the bag, staring down as Josh showed us the sealed top. "Someone just left a bag of unopened chips in the middle of a nowhere restaurant parking lot?" I shook my head. "It's fishy. Don't take it."

"Fishy?" Josh teased. "You're using fish terms, Bata Fish?"

I gave his arm a soft tap. "Shut up. I'm not a Bata Fish. And it's a common saying!"

"Her point still stands," Roe said, crossing her arms. "It's strange. Leave it be."

"No way, I'm starved."

"You ate all the food Cammie stole!"

"I'm a growing boy! I need to replenish my stomach more often then you."

"Come on, Josh," I said. "Leave it be."

"Seriously, guys," he said. "It's not like it's poisoned or anything. The worst that could happen is that it's passed its expiration date." He leaned down to grab it.

But it wouldn't move.

He tugged harder, but it only rustled. "What is this? The Mjolnir of potato chip bags?" he said, pulling with all his weight.

I leaned down to see what was going on. It was attached to something. It kind of reminded me the Minotaur horn Percy and I had.

"Josh, stop!" I said, holding out a hand. "Josh, it's attached to something."

"I don't think I'm getting it anyway," he said, backing way, panting. "What's it attached to?"

I got up, pushing my friends away. "I don't know exactly, but it looks like a—"

Something irrupted from the dirt, spitting gravel, ice, and snow everywhere. It stood probably near to twenty feet tall, and that was with most of its body slithering out of the hole it had hid itself in. It was covered in large armor like scales, and had a huge diamond shaped head with intense black eyes narrowing in on us. On top of its head lay two large horns, much like those on an antelope, only more dangerous looking, and with a bag of nacho flavored Doritos attached to one. It reminded me of a snake, only much more dangerous. And tall.

"A horn," I finished.

"I don't think this is what mom had in mind when she told me not to pick up food off the ground," Josh muttered to himself.

"You really should have listened to your mom," Roe said as we all started backing away slowly. "I mean, really should have listened!"

"Shhh," I hissed. "Look, maybe it has bad eyesight or something, so just stay quiet, and back away—"

It lunged at us, nearly taking off my head, proving my point that it had good hearing. If we hadn't dived apart, it would have killed me instantly.

"Look, it's large, so maybe it'll have a hard time navigating through tightly packed spaces," Josh said, grabbing Roe up off the ground. "Let's head for the woods."

I nodded, moving in the direction of the forest. "That's a good start."

It took the serpent a few seconds to get back up. It paused, stopping to listen for us. It took only five seconds to locate us. Hissing, it slithered its way towards our location. We struggled across what used to be a cornfield in the summer, sinking into the snow. The forest wasn't far away, but it might just be far enough for the serpent—which seemed to float over the snow—to catch us.

"Faster, run faster!" I yelled.

"Stop screaming!" Roe whisper-yelled, running faster.

"He knows where we are, whispering is pointless!"

We were panting hard as we reached the densely packed woods. The monster was right on our backs as we scrambled in, nipping at us. As we stumbled inside, it reared up high, not being able to force its large head and body inside. Roe turned to get a good look at it. Josh grabbed her arm, pulling her farther into the woods. "No stopping to marvel at the huge snake, kay?"

It started running along the edge of the forest, ramming against the trees, trying to finds its way in. The Dorito bag shook with its frustration. You could feel the vibration through the ground, shaking us as we staggered through.

"Does anyone have any idea what this thing is?" I asked as we ran. My friends shook their heads.

Finally, it found an opening big enough. It shot like bullet through the dark, damp forest night, banging into trees and plants. It spooked a few animals that still seemed to be out and about, despite the winter. The rustling really threw the creature off, and it was swinging this way and that, searching for us. We were having just about the same luck. We couldn't see where we were going, constantly running over each other, tripping a few times as well.

"What's the game plan?" Josh asked.

"Uh, run until it gives up?" I suggested, though I knew that wasn't going to work. This thing has way more stamina then three famished and worn-out kids.

"Come on, you're the only one who's been in a situation like this before," Roe said. "What do we do!?"

"You make it sound like those were well thought out and strategized situations. We basically ran in there waving our swords in the air!" I said. "There really was no planning going on!"

"Well then get your sword out and start swinging!" Roe said, pulling out her bow and arrows from her backpack. Josh grabbed something from the side pocket of his own. Figuring there was no better plan at the moment than pulling out our weapons, I pulled out my sword, readying myself as we continued to run.

The creature seemed to be getting its bearings, swiftly slithering through the forest. A frightened deer ran passed us. It could be compared to a full sized freight train running off tracks, its directions unpredictable.

"Okay, someone needs to get its attention," I said. "Keep it occupied while the other two try and kill it."

"I volunteer, I guess," Josh said, picking up a handful of stones and ice chunks off the ground, sliding them into his pockets. "Mind making this quick, I'm not sure I'm dedicated enough to get eaten for you guys."

"We'll move as quickly as possible," I promised. "Be careful?"

"I won't lie to you and say I will," he said, running off. We watched as he took a rock out of pocket, and loaded it into a leather strap. He swung it around his head, gaining some real momentum as he released one strap, launching the rock at the serpent's head. A sling shot. I had seen Josh slinging a few times at camp, but I never realized how good of a slinger he really was.

It reared up, turned around, and headed in Josh's direction. He ran, grabbed hold of a branch above it, and swung over the creature. He stopped, taking out an ice chunk, loading it up, hurling it at its Dorito bag.

"Try seeing if your arrows affect it at all," I told Roe. "If it doesn't penetrate the scales, go for the eyes." She nodded, notching an arrow, and dashing off.

I wouldn't be able to get close to it, not with a sword, not with it slithering so quickly through the forest. It was long, but it could certainly swing around quickly. I saw Josh swing around on another branch, just barely vaulting monsters round body.

"Cam, the arrows don't affect him!" Roe yelled from atop a tall tree.

"The scales prevent them from sinking in?" I asked.

"No! He just doesn't care that he's getting hit! I hit an eye and he blinked it out. He freaking blinked it out!"

I ran forward, desperately thinking of something to do, when its tail swung at my face. I swung at it with my sword, slicing off the very end of it. The monster let out a howling roar, screeching in pain. It lunged around and coming at me full speed. I ducked under a fallen tree, causing it to ram into the lumber.

"Whatever you just did, it really didn't like that," Josh yelled. I heard the wiz of rocks being launched.

No it really didn't. It was still screeching, even as it turned around and focused on my friends. Monsters don't like celestial bronze, I knew that. It obviously could cut through the serpent's thick skin, and if both Roe and Josh's weapons weren't affecting it, it would be up to my nameless sword to do the job.

Josh ran in front of the monster's path, not even realizing how close he was to its head. Roe, from her perch in the trees, launched an arrow at its nostril, enraging the already angry creature. It launched its body into the air, ramming its horns into her tree, knocking her from the branches. She cried out in pain as she hit the forest floor.

"Roe!" I yelled. I ran at the monsters body, sticking my sword into its body as I catapulted myself to the other side. It hissed and screamed, wagging wildly in the dirt. When she didn't reply, I became frantic. "Roe!"

"Down here," a voice whispered to me. I pulled up some brush, peering inside. Roe had crawled inside, and was clutching her ankle in agony. "I'll be up in a minute, just…give me a few seconds."

"You're hurt," I said.

"I'll be fine. Go, before it finds you."

I stood, covering my friend back up in the underbrush. I prayed she wouldn't be found as I scaled a tree. From up here, I could see all fifty-some feet of serpent. It was twisting itself around trees and boulders. It reminded me of that snake game of the computer, where it kept going, never stopping, but couldn't run into itself. It didn't seem to be slowing down in the lease bit. Just went faster and faster the angrier it got.

As Josh launched himself over it again, I got an idea.

"Josh!" I yelled. He looked up at me, swinging his slingshot over his head. "Run him through here!" I motioned to an open path in front of me. Josh nodded, letting a rock fly.

I made sure to move swiftly over to a low hanging branch, settling myself in the shadows. Josh ran through the path, being chased by the monster, giving me a thumbs up. I waited until the head passed before hooking my legs on the branch. I let the rest of my body swing back, like a little kid on the monkey bars, hanging upside-down. I thrust my sword into its back, running a long line right through the middle of it. It didn't stop, probably because it couldn't. The cut in its back just grew longer until it reached its cut off tail.

I flipped off the branch, landing on my feet. It continued its pace, running straight into an old oak tree, creating a huge serpent crash. The tree leaned back slowly. It creaked, and you could hear the snapping of wood as the tree slowly fell backwards. I cringed as it hit the forest floor, a loud rustling of leaves and BANG resonating throughout the woods.

Josh ran up beside me, his sling shot dangling in his hand. He gripped a rock in the other, ready to fight if the monster recovered. It didn't even twitch.

"Is it dead?" he asked.

I was about to answer when it slowly shrunk into a pile of golden dust.

"Now it is," I said.

"Can we not do that again?" he asked.

"That's probably not even the worst to come."

Josh groaned. "All I wanted was a bag of chips."

"So we all agree this is Josh's fault?" Roe's voice hollered from under a pile of branches.

"Yes!" I said, going over to free her. I pulled away all of the brush, and smiled, only to have it melt off my face. Roe's ankle had swollen up, and it looked painful. I knelt down and rested my hand on it, making her wince.

"Ouch," she said.

"Did you guys bring and ambrosia and nectar?" I asked, feeling how bad it was. "Feels like a sprain."

"I've got some nectar in my backpack," Roe said through clenched teeth. "Can you not touch that?"

Josh took her bag from her shoulders, opening it up. He looked up at me in fear. "Uh…"

I took the bag from him and peered inside. "Oh crap."

The bottle that the nectar had been stored in had been broken most likely in the fall. It had gotten all over her clothing and belongings. "Didn't you bring any ambrosia?"

Roe shook her head. I looked to Josh. The same. I picked out one of her shirts, holding it out to her. "You want to suck on this?" I suggested sheepishly.

"I can't walk on this," she said.

Josh rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry. I have an idea. Just stay put and don't stand up."

He stood, sprinting out of the forest. I lifted her ankle as gently as possible, elevating it on my knee. Roe leaned back against a tree trunk, resting her eyes. "That was fun. How many more times do we get to do stuff like that?"

I chuckled. "Hopefully no more on this quest."

She leaned against my shoulder, resting her head on mine. I leaned back, holding her hand. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier," I said softly.

"I'm sorry for criticizing you before," Roe said. "I know you have your reasons for not telling them."

"Well I am kind of being a drama queen," I said, making us both laugh. "I just feel that if I tell them now…I'll never get them back. How could they ever forgive me for lying to them this long? I…I couldn't stand the thought of losing them now."

"Whatever you decide to do, I'll support you," she said.

"I'd rather you not, actually. How else am I going to know I'm messing up?"

Roe grinned. "That's true."

I looked over at what used to be a giant snake monster, and saw something shimmer in the moon light. I got up, and slowly made my way over to it. Dusting off monster dust, I found a bag of nacho cheese flavored Doritos.

I wagged them at Roe. "Look! A spoil of war!"

A light shone through the forest, blinding us. A car door could be heard slamming shut, and Josh ran over to us a few seconds later. "Okay, help me pick her up."

"What did you do?" I asked, grabbing Roe's ankles.

"I stole the owner's SUV," he said, grabbing her around her waist.

"Huh, maybe having a son of Hermes around wasn't such a bad idea," Roe said through the pain.

We lifted her off the ground, and carried her to the running car. We slid her in the back seat, laying her sprain on a pile of blankets. I took a plastic bag out from the back seat and filled it with snow and ice and placed it on her sock covered ankle. Roe cooed at the pleasurable feeling. "Ah, that's nice," she said.

Josh hopped in the driver's seat, mostly because he looked the oldest. I hopped up front with him.

"So, west?" he asked.

I smiled. "Start driving." I wiggled the Doritos in front of him. "And I may just allow you to have some."

He looked on in starving desperation. I took pity on him, and allowed him a handful.

"Turn the radio on, would ya?" Roe asked from the back seat. "I'd like to hear something other than your mushy flirting."

Josh smiled at me, turning on the radio.

"Senator James McHenry and family went on an outing today," the radio talk show host said. "Interestingly enough, right after Macey McHenry was kicked out of her latest boarding school. The big question that's being asked right now is: where is Macey to go next?"

"Turn it to something interesting," Roe complained. "Who wants to hear about some rich kid getting kicked out of another school?"

"What is this, her tenth or something?" I scoffed. "Honestly, every time McHenry gets kicked out of a school, it's treated like some kind of scandal. Why can't people just learn to expect it. She's never going to stay in one place for long."

"At least you don't have to deal with her," Josh said, turning up the heat.

I nodded. "There is an upside."

Yes, I'm a day late. I had prom, then mother's day, and I thought I was going to have energy on both those days to get stuff done, but I didn't. So I'm sorry. And now I'm too tired to do any more, so see you in a week.

Night Nerdletts.