One More, Always More

She watched them evolve into what the world saw them- Guns N' Roses. And whether she was there or not, she felt each step of their victory to success along with the fouls that they battled through. To her, no matter what happened or how many covers took their place, they will always be Guns N' Roses, forever and ever.

14

Stages of Life

2000

Time speed by faster than Nicole realised, it seemed the older Nicole got the faster the world seemed to turn. 'Slash's Snake Pit' seemed to be doing an alright for themselves, not that Nicole ever doubted that the band– she always believed in them and still does. The only problem, her friends seem to be updating in life from cars to houses while Nicole stood in her old kitchen filling up a small bottle with juice.

She did receive phone call here and there from Slash or her brother, occasionally Izzy would give her a call on the one off chance. Kelly mostly kept her up to date with everyone, Nicole didn't know how the woman did. She didn't go on tour with the band but she always seemed to know what everyone was up to whether it was Izzy, Axl or Duff. Nicole figured the woman had way too much time on her hands but Nicole found it hard to have time to herself in her situation.

Life itself didn't slow down or hold itself on pause for anyone, Nicole learnt that more than anyone in the most recent years. Her career was smooth, she was a manager at the hospital only taking sick leave when needed. Two years ago, that sick leave came in handy when Nicole found out she didn't have the casual sick bug. She had twelve long months from work, getting herself back on track with her mother's support through the whole event. Nicole truly wouldn't have known what she would have done without the woman. Her mother helped her financially when she had to take those months off.

Screwing the slid back onto the bottle, Nicole made her way to the bedroom down the hallway. It used to be Steven and Kelly's room, instead of the double bed sat a single one with a crying toddler on his knees.

Nicole walked straight over, picking the small child up and putting him on her hip with the bottle of milk in the other hand. The cubby hands instantly went for the bottle, putting it into his mouth and laying his head of black curls onto her shoulder. It didn't matter so much that Slash didn't call her regularly, she had something else on her mind and the little boy curled against her side was very much a spitting image of the guy in the band poster she had hanging in the lounge room.

She had wondered many times over what would have happened if the guys were never signed on with Geffens Records but she could hardly see Slash as a suit and tie man with a nine to five job. There was nothing that could calm the raging fire inside of him and she didn't want to be the one holding him back, so like so many times before she told herself she was doing right by keeping the boy in her arms a secret. A habit, Nicole slowly swayed from side to side, rocking the child back to sleep to finish his afternoon nap.

She stayed like that for quite some time until the toddler in her arms dropped back to sleep and she was able to place him back into bed, pulling the door halfway closed so she could finish to do the rest of the house work. It was the only time she felt there was no rush - her day off - and could relax somewhat with her son fast asleep down the hallway. She was constantly on the go whether it be at home or work but she had to make ends meet one way or another.

It was later that evening while she was cooking some sausages and vegetables that Nicole could hear the toddlers voice down the hallway. Turning the stove heat to low, Nicole went down to the hallway into the child's room. He looked up from the toy car in his hand when she entered the room, smiling up at her. "Dinners almost ready." She stated, making the child follow her out to the lounge where some of his other toys where laid out.

Seeing that the toddler was entertained, Nicole walked back to the stove and continued to cook dinner for the two of them. It was a quiet evening, it actually made her miss the extra work of making dinner for six other people, the constant chatter and lively atmosphere of the house when the guys use to live there.

She jumped slightly at the sensation on her foot and found the toddler on his backside with the train rolling over her bare foot with a cheeky grin. "Tyler." She tried to use a stern voice - he knew better than to come into the kitchen while Nicole was cooking, she had seen the events of Kenny mucking around in the kitchen and she didn't want a repeat with her son. "The lounge room, now." She pointed in the direction of the lounge where the kid had come from. The response was the unmoving grin and sparkling brown eyes. It was a spitting image of his father that made her chest tighten before she picked him up and went back into the lounge.

With the boy focused on the cartoons, Nicole turned the stove off and started to serve dinner. One plate had the sausages cut in small knuckle size pieces with a mixture of vegetables and a side dish of small chips to keep the boy pleased. Instead of setting up the dining room table, she moved straight to the lounge table and took a seat on the ground next to Tyler. The younger boy instantly smiling at the plate, he picked up the chips first.

Later that evening, the plates were pushed to the side, half the vegetables still left on one of the plates. Nicole was laid out on the blanket with a pillow underneath her head, her left hand running through the black curls of the head laying on stomach. Her eyes were sleepily on the TV, not really focusing on the moving pictures. She listened to Tyler's even breathing, the rise and fall of his chest with his eyes closed from the day's exhaustion. Moments like this kept her going through every day, gave her the strength to be what Tyler needed her to be for him. Reluctantly, Nicole shifted Tyler and carried him to his room for the night as he had another large day ahead of him with his grandmother.

….

Nicole sat on the back steps of her parents' house after a long seventeen hour shift at the hospital, she had been called in for an emergrcey cutting her day off short and having to make a quick call to her mother about taking Tyler at an early start of four in the morning. Nicole had gotten an overnight bag packed for her son and carried him out to the car in the darkness of the morning.

When Nicole pulled into her parent's driveway, her mother was waiting with the door open in her dressing gown ready to take the youngest member of the family. Realistically, Nicole was meant to have finished at two in the afternoon that day but didn't step out of the hospital until eight in the evening as the staff were few - least she would get pay for working over hours.

With one of Tyler's juice boxes in her hand, Nicole watched the light in the work shed across from the backdoor. She could hear Tyler giggling inside and the stab of regret went through her as Slash should be the one making him erupt into laughter. "He asked about his father again today?" Nicole cursed her mother's words as the older woman leaned against the doorway looking in the direction of the garage. "You should really call him."

"I have." Nicole wasn't lying, she had spoken to Slash a few times but the subject never came up, not that she gave Slash any reason to ask such questions.

A wary sign came from the woman beside Nicole. "At least think of Tyler, he is going to want answers one day."

"I'll deal with that when the day comes." Nicole said with more confidence than she actually felt at that point of time. The whole topic about Slash was edgy for her, all her emotions pulling her in every direction and not giving her a signal on what would be right and wrong. "I've got to work tomorrow, a day shift."

"He might as well stay here for the night."

"You sure you're alright with tonight and tomorrow?" Nicole asked knowing that her mother wouldn't get a break from Tyler, the kid could be pretty full on.

"Yes, you just take care of that phone call." Her mother said. They both knew that Nicole wouldn't make the call. The older woman was constantly asking, or telling her daughter to do something on the matter.

"I'm going to say good night to him." Nicole got up from the steps, making her way to the shed where Jamie was showing Tyler the motor the brothers were working on. "How's my man?" She walked into the shed, getting down on her knees to be level with Tyler.

"Good!" She could practically see the excitement bouncing off the three year old boy. "Uncle Jamie's going to come around tomorrow and let me watch."

"That's great Ty, it will be fun." She shook her head at seeing the two males grinning at her, her step brother could be a dag at times. "Mummy's got to go to bed now, you're staying here with Grandma."

"Does that mean I can stay out here longer?" The little boy questioned.

"Until Grandma says others wise." Tyler nodded in agreement, the look of excitement not leaving his eyes. "Good night kisses?" Nicole didn't have to ask a second time, the young child jumped into her arms giving her a large kiss on the cheek and trying to squeeze her as hard as possible.

….

It was the weekend, a sunny Saturday spent on the beach. Nicole laid back on the beach towel, happiness coursing through her with the sun soaking into her skin – it was good to get outside and not be stuck in an office. "She's growing up really fast." Nicole commented as she watched Kathy splash in the water with Tyler and her brother Steven.

"And before you know it, Tyler will be growing just as fast." Kelly replied next to her.

"Yeah, it feels like only yesterday we were in the garage back at Mum's house."

"We're adults now." Kelly replied in a joking tone because neither of them felt a day older, it was only the responsibilities that have changed.

"Kathy wants to see Uncle Duff again, thinking we should get Izzy and Slash together as well." The dark haired woman suggested, waiting for the Alder sister's response.

"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea but…"

"But Slash knows nothing about Ty." Kelly finished the woman's sentence, the topic wasn't nothing new. "I support you a hundred percent, though I believe Ty and Slash should know each other. I couldn't imagine Kathy not knowing Steven. Christ, even if I had to move away because Steven chose to still party hard, I would have tried to make sure neither side missed out."

Nicole merely stared at the sand between her fingers. She understood where Kelly was coming from, she truly did but it was fear that was stopping her from doing the right thing. "What if he doesn't accept Tyler?"

"I don't believe Slash could do that to his own flesh and blood."

"And me?" Nicole wouldn't be surprised if the Slash hated her for keeping it from him.

"I'm not saying his not going to be angry. You two have… an intense past and I don't think either of you could walk away."

"I need to do it for Ty." Nicole stated after some silence, that's how it should have always been – Tyler comes first. "And now that his older, he'll want to know." It was only a few days ago that her mother was telling Nicole that Tyler had been asking questions about his father, as time grows on she knew it would only get worse.

"Next weekend, we'll have a BQQ at our house and you can have a chat to Slash." Kelly had to chuckle to herself. "Ty's a spitting image of his father, Slash would have to be blind to not see it."

It seemed fate had something else in mind.

Nicole was in her office a few days later, filling out some of the paperwork that had piled up during the weekend when one of the nurses came rushing into her office. "Miss Adler." The nurse said between gasps of air.

"Jenny, calm down and take a deep breath." Something had given the young woman a scare though no matter the situation, it never did well for anyone to be panicked.

"Tyler is in the emergence ward." It took a few seconds for Nicole to actually process what the nurse was saying because it was the last thing she expected to come out of her mouth.

Getting up from her seat, Nicole calmly put her coat on while in reality she wanted to be running out of her office like a mad woman. "What happened?"

"Car accident."

"The driver?" There were quite a few possibilities of who could have been behind the wheel.

"Your brother Kenny I believe." The two were walking down the halls, making their way to the emergency ward. "Police say it was the second drivers fault, he had illegal substances in his body." Nicole nodded her head at the information, trying to process the information through her fuzzed mind. "You seem very calm about this Miss."

"Being panicked doesn't help any situation." Nicole was walking a very thin line of trying to stay professional and not mixing her emotions. "What kind of state are Kenny and Tyler in?"

"The car hit Kenny's side, his in critical condition while Tyler has a concussion so far." Jenny told her the information so far while Nicole tried to sort out the pros and cons about the accident – be professional.

"Make sure Kenny is in a stable condition and…don't let Tyler fall asleep with the concussion." Nicole said, coming to a stop at the sight of her family in the hallway.

"Nicky." Kelly was the first to see her, capturing her mother's attentions from the doorway that Nicole guessed her relatives where in with the doctor. "They're not telling us anything."

"I'll see what I can do." She replied, making her way to their room. "You're just going to have to wait for a moment."

"Wait?" Steven appeared next to Kelly. "That's what we have been doing."

Nicole turned to her brother. "Give me a second to find out for myself and I'll get back to you as soon as possible." She waited to get a nod from Steven before stepping into the hospital room.

She tried not to freeze up at the sight of her older brother. Kenny had tubes connected in various part of his body. She could almost pretend that he was asleep except for the bruise and cuts spread across his body. Then there was the young boy, she could barely look at the small body. "Ma."

"Miss Adler." For a split second her eyes moved from her son to the Doctor, she went over to him. Listening to him speaking but her eyes stayed focused on Tyler and the agonizing expression on his face.

"Has he been given something for the pain?" Nicole asked, interrupting the Doctor.

"Yes, though nothing strong because of his-"

"Age and condition." She finished the Doctors sentence before leaving his side and going to Tyler's. She grabbed onto his outreached hand, giving it a comforting squeeze. She assessed his other arm, the limb was wrapped in a bandage at an odd angle. She could remember the Doctor saying he had a broken arm, something she never imagine happening to her three year old son at this point on his life.

"Miss Adler, we need to reset his arm." The Doctor came to her side, his words making her wince as she knew the pain it would course her boy to set it back in place. "If you could keep his attention on you while we-"

"Of Course." Nicole didn't need to be told twice what they would have to do and pulled up a chair next to his side. "Everything's going to be alright." She whispered to her son, getting a small nod from him as he looked up to her. "The Doctors going to make your arm all better."

She continued talking to him, brushing curls hair away on his forehead as she saw the Doctor in her side version prepare to reset Tyler's arm. Nicole kept her eyes on Tyler the whole time, his pain becoming her pain as she couldn't do anything to take it away.

Nicole had long ago hung up her coat, dressed in her casual clothes she sat slumped in the chair with her eyes on the bed. Tyler had finally been given the OK to get some shut eye though to be on the safe side, Nicole slightly shook him awake every hour.

On the other side of the room was her older brother, Kenny hadn't peaked an eye open since they brought him into the hospital. Nicole wasn't worried though, she had looked over his folder and knew once his body had recovered he'd open them in due time – his mind had simply gone into defence mode and shut down for the moment to reboot. That didn't stop her mother from constantly asking questions about Kenny's condition. At the moment, the room was silent except for the beeping of the machines, her mother was somewhat content with her step father present.

The door opened, revealing Steven carrying cups of coffee and a bag of chips under his chin. He went straight to their parents, handing them the caffeine before back tracking to sit next to his sister, pulling up a chair to his nephew's bed.

Steven cast one look at his sister before throwing his bag of chips into her lap. "You need to eat something." He said, knowing very well that she had hardly left the room and her lack of sleep was evidence from the dark lines under her eyes.

"And chips are very healthy." Nicole answered in a sarcastic tone but opened the pack anyway.

"So what's the process?" He nodded his head to Tyler's broken arm, he didn't know a hell of a lot about the medical side of things but he knew some action would have to be taken.

"He has fractured the elbow joint," She was already imagining the amount of work that needed to be done. "He'll have to do rehabilitation, work the joint so it doesn't stiffen up."

"Christ, that's going to leave a dint in the bank." Steven got a dirty expression thrown at him from his sister. She hated the topic of her money arising in conversations but whether or not Nicole liked it, Steven had only stated the truth. "You know, you could always call up-"

"Don't even finish that sentence Steven." Her tone low to not disrupt Tyler sleeping in front of them.

"Call him." She stubbornly shook her head as her brother insisted.

"I don't want a hand out from him."

"You wouldn't need to ask, he'd do it. He'd do anything for you Nicky...and if he knew about the boy here," He nodded his head in Tyler's direction. "Nothing would stop him."

"I was nothing except a bed when he wasn't on the road." When the words left her mouth she knew they were nothing close to the truth. They were like tweedle dum and tweedle dee - there for each other through the tough times. Yet, Nicole could feel the fear creep up on her again at someone trying to force her hand.

"That's bullshit." Steven snapped at her and left the room shaking his head. He knew his next actions would put him on Nicole's shit list but he'd deal with the consequences later – he was doing this for his nephew.

Nicole couldn't remember the time she had fallen asleep, her mind feeling fuzzy after the long shift at the hospital than the sudden chaotic moment of her family landing in hospital themselves had drained a lot of her energy. She did know that when she surrendered to the darkness that the hospital room, it had been quiet and her parents had fallen asleep shortly after Steven had left the room. So when Nicole heard his voice, she was quite positive that she was dreaming. His voice was soft but it held its usual deep tone that made her feel the tide of calmness sweep through her. It wasn't until Steven's voice filled her mind that it felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her.

Her eyes snapped open, sitting up slightly in her chair as she focused on the two males across from her on the other side of the bed. She felt her heart beating rapidly in her chest at the sight of his curly black hair pulled into a ponytail, his hands overlapping on his stomach as he sat slouched in the hospital chair with ease. Nicole didn't know what to say, she didn't even notice Steven pulling the curtain between the two beds and walking out of the room leaving the grown pair alone.

They merely stared at one another for a moment, she couldn't get a read on him and words escaped her under his dark gaze. It wasn't until he turned his eyes away and directed them at Tyler curled up on the bed that she took her eyes off him and leaned her head against the back of the seat, staring up at the ceiling. "Is this why you've been distance the last few years?"

His question made her look back at him, she hadn't expected him to come to that conclusion. "What was I meant to say?" She whispered, not quite sure what to expect from the man with his calm attitude.

"Tell me I had a son." He leaned forward on his elbows, his eyes never going away from the boy in front of him. He could easily see bits of himself, it was like looking through his mother's family albums.

Without waiting for further response from Nicole, he got up and started for the door needing to clear his mind. Maybe find himself a bottle of JD and a guitar to ease some of the pounding in his head.

…

Like old times, Nicole sat on the steps of her house watching the family BQQ play out in front of her. It had been a few weeks since the car accident, Kenny was still mending and spending his days back at their parents' house. Tyler had his colourful cast inscribed by drawings and people's signatures. A large smile was present on his face at the moment, making Nicole realise how wrong she was for keeping him away from his father. "Nice kid." Duff took a seat beside her on the steps, a soft drink in hand as he watched Ashley rush around with Kathy. "I can see the boys going to course some mischief like his father."

Nicole slightly winced at remembering everything the guys had gotten up when they were in their teens, it really wasn't something she wanted to think about. "Well you better be careful, you'll end up with your own hoard." She nodded her head to the motherly way Ashley handled Kathy.

"Don't go giving the woman ideas." Duff groaned.

"I'm not, it's the motherly instinct." She teased back.

"You're going to start making me feel old." The bass guitarist complained, making the woman snort.

"Does Izzy look old to you?" Nicole questioned, moving her eyes to Rebecca and Izzy in the backyard. Rebecca seemed at peace leaning back into her man while Izzy had a constant grin on his face with his hands resting on the medium size bump between the woman's hips.

"Is he on drugs?" Duff joked, earning a sharp nudge in the ribs by the blonde woman. "I haven't seen him that happy for some time." He said seriously, taking in the Gunner's ex rhyme guitarist. Duff took a sip of his drink when something caught his eye. "Ahh, I better go make sure Clarke isn't burning the damn food." He stood up, mumbling under his breath about Ashley not eating anything with charcoal on it.

Nicole merely shook her head at the blonde giant, he was whipped for the blonde back-up singer. She could remember a time when it was Slash and Duff in their younger years burning the meat, Kenny having to take over for them.

Her eyes scanned the crowd – Ashley, Kathy, Matt, Rebecca, Kelly, Steven, Izzy, Duff, Clarke and even Axl had made an appearance before they landed on the dark skinned pair sitting on the esky. Ever since that night he turned up at the hospital, he had stayed with them. He introduced himself to an excited Tyler and hadn't left the boys side, not degrading their son for her faults but acting like he had been with them for the past three years. The only shift in their relationship, Slash was giving her the silent treatment. There was no yelling or arguments when they got to her place or set up the fold out couch in Tyler's room, just silence. Nicole expect more of a fight from him but then again this was Slash. She was just thankful that Tyler was finally getting what he wanted. Nicole had a feeling in her gut that there would be no happily ever after family for them. She may be a blonde at times but it didn't take a genius to notice the phone calls that Slash made each night – he had left someone behind and he wouldn't be staying with them forever.

AN: Not sure how I feel about this chapter…Anyway, one more chapter to go!