A/N: I wrote this chapter to two very different songs. So the first one is "Alice Practice" by Crystal Castles, and the second is "Sleepyhead" by Passion Pit. Enjoy them!
Chapter twelve- Running up that hill
"What about the bodies?" Race inquired as they stood in Manchester's study. Shaun stepped away from Spot and headed for his desk. She remembered the day he had captured her he had been writing in something. Running her fingers slowly over the open books she scanned the pages. Ink had dropped from his pen and soaked through a few of the names. Shaun's eyes widened as she grasped the leather journal. Written in neat lines were names and dates and columns that proclaimed dead or alive. As she flipped through them she realized it was all the captives Manchester had taken. None had survived, except for them. She dropped the book and sank into his leather chair.
"Shaun?" she noticed Race and Spot had been watching her.
"He was recording everything." She whispered motioning toward the journal.
"He's dead now." Spot said staring into the darkness of the maze. "Let's leave them there Race."
"Fine by me." Leaning forward Shaun retrieved the book again curious as to where her name was. It was on the last page underneath Racetrack's. Shaun Kenneth, sold to me on September 5th, 1899, sold? She thought staring at Manchester's perfect script. "Shaun!" she jerked upright at the raised voice. "Are you with us?"
"I'm sorry, what?" Spot was watching her, his eyes narrowed. Quickly she attempted to disguise her emotions by smiling. "I was just reading this and…was happy that all of us don't have 'dead' next to our names."
"We're leaving." Spot replied studying her as he walked backward toward the door. "Are you coming?"
"Yeah." She pushed herself out of the chair and as Spot and Race turned their backs, she tore the page and stuffed it in her corset. If Spot had seen her he would no doubt be curious to the significance of the page, and a part of Shaun did not want him to read that she had been sold.
As they exited the study and treaded the familiar halls back to the front door she wondered if her parents had known all along exactly where she was. Could it be that James and Beth Kenneth had really sold her? That they were aware of what was going to happen to her? Clenching her fists she looked up focusing her attention on Spot opening the door. The sunlight was blinding causing them to recoil into the home.
"We finally get out and we can barely leave." Racetrack commented shielding his eyes. Spot smirked, blinked his eyes, and then plunged himself into the light.
"I'm not stayin' in there anymore than I have to." He called back determined to adjust to the unyielding glow. Shaun smiled and squeezing Racetrack's shoulder for encouragement she followed him. Unlike Spot she had to shade her eyes which only made his ego a hundred times larger. He laughed loudly when Racetrack tripped down the steps and landed on his face. It was a rare occasion to hear Spot laugh and Shaun couldn't help but join him. Unfortunately it was at Racetrack's expense.
"Ya'll can laugh, go ahead!" he grumbled as he sat up dusting off his baggy clothes. "Sorry I'm not normal after being half starved in a sewer for months!"
"Aw Racetrack," Shaun grabbed his arm and helped him stand. "Ignore Spot he thinks he's invincible."
"Damn straight. Who was it that killed that bastard! Me!" he raised his chin and grabbed his suspenders. "Me."
"Whatever." Racetrack rolled his eyes. "If I hadn't hit him with that board ya'll would be dead right now." Shaun smiled as she listened to them argue over who was the real hero. The truth was it was both of them. She moved between the boys and grabbed their hands. Spot tried to pull away immediately complaining about his reputation but Shaun only tightened her grip.
"We can't walk around holdin' hands!" he yelled shaking her arm.
"I don't care." Shaun stated but eventually she released him. Spot stomped in front of them for a few moments before he paused. Shaun and Race watched him curiously stepping around him. "Spot…" she trailed off when she realized his hand was resting on his belt loop.
"My cane." Sighing she bit her lip unsure on how to tell him it was gone.
"Manchester broke it." Racetrack stated. "You'll find another one." Shaun grabbed the boy and pulled him back a few steps. Obviously he was unaware of Spot's attachment to the stick.
"Find another one?" Spot repeated his voice low and menacing.
"Great." Shaun muttered.
"I can't just find another one." Spot lunged forward grabbing Race's collar. "That cane was special dammit!" Racetrack held his hands up in surrender.
"Alright!"
"That bastard!" Spot shook him. "That bastard! I'm glad he's dead I should go back and kick his damn corpse!"
"Spot!" Shaun rested her hands on his arm. "I'm sorry it's gone. But you're going to make Race sick shaking him like that." Sighing audibly Spot released him and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Let's get something to eat." He grumbled once more moving ahead of both of them. Racetrack straightened his clothes muttering insults as they followed him. Shaun chuckled patting Race's back.
"He almost took my head off when I killed rats with it. Don't feel bad."
"Spot Conlon is crazy." Race stated. "I don't know how he expects us to get food with no money. Never mind it's freezing out here and we all have no jackets and baggy clothes." Shaun gasped.
Looking down she remembered she was barely dressed. If anyone from her parents circles saw her attire she would be shunned. Wrapping her arms around herself she checked street signs. Shaun had been so involved in the moment she hadn't noticed they were walking on busy streets; that bystanders were staring at them oddly and disapprovingly. They looked worse than the normal kids she saw calling out headlines, begging for food, or heading to factories. Not to mention her with her stockings and shift showing. Her bodice ripped and her corset exposed.
"What is he thinking!" she yelled running to catch up with Spot. "Spot!" she called grasping his shoulder. Just as she turned him to face her she heard a familiar voice.
"Matthew! Hurry up! We have the party tonight and we've decided not to leave you with Mrs. Forbes!" Shaun didn't hesitate and shoved Spot into the closest alley. Pressing him against the wall she leaned in, held her breath, and listened.
"Mama, do I have to go?" She closed her eyes. They were nearby she could tell from how close their voices were. Shaun couldn't look at them. She would not have Mattie see her half dressed and dirty. Her parents had to have told him some story of how Shaun was in a better place, or how'd she visit soon, and it would be hard for Mattie to know they had lied to him.
"What kind of question is that Matthew? Of course you have to go." Shaun knew that tone. She didn't have to see to know her mother was gripping Mattie's arm so hard he'd bruise. Or her eyes were burning with pure hatred. If she looked now she'd kill her.
"Shaun?" Spot whispered his voice gentle. She waited a few more minutes and allowed herself to breathe. Pressing her fists into her eyes she hoped she could prevent the tears.
"What will I say to him Spot?" she asked. "When I see Mattie." She paused wondering how surprised her parents would be if she showed up. The child they had sold. "Or my parents?" Positive she wouldn't lose her composure she looked at him. Spot was tense his eyes narrowed.
"I forgot." He said stepping toward the sidewalk.
"What do you mean?"
"I forgot where you came from."
"What are you saying?" Shaun's moment of pain dispersed replaced by confusion and anger.
"Go home Shaun."
"What?"
"I said go home."
"Where were you guys?" Race screamed a few feet away. He weaved through the crowd and stopped in front of them his arms crossed. "One second you guys are there and the next you're gone! Do you have any idea what that did to my nerves? I thought that guy had come to life and captured you again. Jeez give someone a warning when ya gonna go skulking off into some alley." He glanced between them his arms falling to his sides. "What's up?"
"Shaun's going home and we're going to eat." Spot answered grabbing Race's arm and dragging him forward. "See ya round Shaun."
"Oh no Spot Conlon." If it had been a few months ago she would have let him leave. Even now she knew it would be best to let Spot go, allow him to live his life, but she was too involved to say goodbye. "Don't walk away from me." She caught up with them and wrenched his hand off of Race. "I'm not going home. I have no intention of going home. I don't even have a home."
"What are you talkin' about huh?" he demanded his voice rising. "Ya just heard 'em yelling outside the alley. I know that was ya little brother."
"How?"
"I met him!" Shaun stared at him surprised.
"When?"
"Before I got taken. He was in central park with that homicidal dog."
"How was he?"
"He looked sick if ya ask me." Shaun lowered her gaze. The hatred for her parents intensified.
"Homicidal dog?" Racetrack asked raising his eyebrows at them. They ignored him.
"You don't know anything about that Spot. You don't know anything about my life before the maze. Sure you may know how I think but you don't know why."
"So what are you tryin' to tell me?" he asked crossing his arms.
"I'm not leaving. I want to stay with you guys." She took Racetrack's hand for emphasis. "Okay?"
"You're not living in Brooklyn."
"Ya guy's," Racetrack pulled away from her. "Honestly all of us have been gone for awhile now. Hell we don't even know what's happening in Manhattan let alone Brooklyn. And personally I want Shaun to stay with us too. I mean all of us went through something traumatic none of us can deny that we don't have a…bond or something right?" Spot rolled his eyes.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"Oh Spot." Shaun laughed. "Let's just get food, and…I need clothes." Spot ran his gaze over her body and she blushed.
"That's for sure." She wanted to punch him but thought against it. Racetrack chuckled nervously. "Where ya gonna get that?" Spot asked sounding skeptical.
"I have a plan. Where are you getting food?"
"Remember that restaurant you followed me too?" she nodded. "There."
"You followed him?" Racetrack looked at them confused. "You guys knew each other before the maze?"
"Long story." Shaun responded. "I'll meet you both at that restaurant alright?"
"Where are you going?" Spot's tone grew protective.
"I already told you, to get clothes."
"We can go with you." Racetrack urged looking at Spot for support.
"No it's fine. You guys I'm not going to take long I promise I'll meet you there." They glanced at each other apprehensively. Shaun sighed. "Trust me." Spot reluctantly agreed and jerked his head in the direction of the restaurant.
"Let's go Race."
"What?"
"Let's go." Once Racetrack and Spot disappeared in the crowd Shaun turned and slowly traveled the familiar streets home. It was odd how Spot had been so ready to leave her and then he wasn't. She wasn't sure how to decipher his moods but she pushed it to the back of her mind. For now she wondered if Juliette still worked for her parents and whether or not she could retrieve clothes without being seen.
Shaun's house looked exactly the same but felt extremely different. She stood leaning against a brick wall peering at it from around the corner. As the sun dipped behind the tall buildings she shivered. The chill was not the cause of her trembling it was the aura that radiated toward her. Inside the large home were her parents; parents that had washed her from their hands as if she were trash.
Taking a deep breath she knocked quietly on the servants' door. She pressed her ear to the wood and listened. At the sound of footsteps she ducked behind a few boxes. Light flooded the space behind the house and Shaun carefully crawled forward to see who had answered.
"Hello?" Harold asked stepping past the threshold. Pulling her matted hair in her face she lowered her head and slid from behind the crates.
"Excuse me sir," she whispered. "Could ya get Juliette for me?" She didn't dare lift her gaze to watch Harold's reaction; instead she tensed preparing to run if he recognized her.
"Juliette? Does she know you?"
"Yes sir, she told me to come back here for some food. I'm really hungry sir." Harold stood quietly for a few moments before turning back into the light.
"Alright." He said closing the door behind him. Sighing relieved she slumped against the steps holding her chest. It didn't take long for Juliette to emerge into the space with a basket of day old bread. She obviously was confused as she stared at Shaun.
"Excuse me," she said. Shaun stood moving away from the door and closer to the side of the house. "I don't remember ever meeting you, but I brought food anyway." Shaun waited a few minutes before turning to face her. Juliette furrowed her brows studying her. "Do I know you?" she inquired extending the basket in Shaun's direction.
"Juliette close the door please." Hesitantly she obeyed. "It's me, Shaun." Gasping the maid set the basket down and moved closer.
"Shaun?" she repeated. She nodded turning so the last rays of sunset could catch her features. "Oh my goodness…" she breathed raising her hand to her mouth. "What happened to you?" Shaun couldn't imagine how she looked to her.
"I'll tell you another time. But right now I need you to do something for me."
"Anything."
"Can you sneak me some clothes? It doesn't matter what it looks like. Just something very plain." Juliette sighed.
"Your mother will suspect something."
"Say that you're going to clean my room."
"You don't have a room anymore, Miss." Shaun watched Juliette's expression change from eager to help to pity and compassion.
"What?" She whispered.
"Your mother and father packed all your things up and made it another office."
"Where did my possessions go?" the maid shifted nervously.
"Some they sold and others are in the attic." Shaun turned away from her balancing herself against the wall. "Miss?" Juliette reached for her.
"Nevermind Juliette."
"Miss…"
"Don't worry about me okay?" she stepped out of Juliette's reach. "Please don't tell anyone you saw me."
"Master Matthew misses you and I'm sure he'll want to know you're okay." Shaun's hands turned into fists.
"Not even him Juliette."
"But Miss,"
"No!" she whipped around to face the young girl. "I don't want him to find me; I don't want my parents to know where I am. Don't you understand Juliette? If they can erase me I'll erase them."
"Miss?" she looked concerned.
"One day Juliette I'll let Mattie know I'm okay. Not now." Shaun steadily walked away from the back entrance. Juliette called after her but she ignored her pleas.
She didn't look over her shoulder at the place she once called home. There was no love or desire to return. Instead her heart constricted with pain and hate. How could they do this? She wondered as she searched for the restaurant Spot and Racetrack had gone too. How could they have thrown away all of her things? Lied to Mattie? Abuse him in her place? Sell her to that man? What could either of them possibly gain from her demise and their cruelty?
She stumbled in front of the building called Tibby's. Closing her eyes she moved toward the alley she remembered Spot walking to. Pressing her back against the brick she slid to the dusty ground and pulled her knees to her chest. Shaun was breaking. What could she do to save herself?
"Shaun." She released a sob at his voice. She could hear him step toward her. "What are you doing?" he inquired kneeling in front of her. Warm hands rested on her arms. "Get up."
"Spot," she cried.
"I didn't know tryin' to find clothes would be so horrible."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why didn't you let me jump?"
"I told you then. I didn't want to fish out anymore dead bodies."
"I'm serious." She looked up her face a mess tears blurring her vision. All she could see was the intensity of his blue eyes. "Why didn't you?"
"Because you didn't deserve to die." He tugged her arms loose from around her knees. "Let's go."
"Spot." She stood as he did and flung her arms around his neck. She held him close as if he was going to turn to dust at any moment. Spot's arms remained at his side but he allowed her to cry into his shoulder. Once her sobs reduced to hiccups and then silence he gently pushed her away from him. Digging in his pocket he produced a napkin and gave it to her.
"Ya look like hell. I'm not having ya meet the others looking like that." She laughed as she blew her nose.
"You love commenting on my appearance don't you?"
"When ya look like some half dead monster of course." He wrenched open the kitchen door. "Hurry up." She smoothed down her hair, wiped her eyes, dropped the napkin on the ground and followed him inside. The kitchen staff gave her various looks. Some were leering others disgusted. She attempted to cover herself. "What are ya'll looking at?" Spot demanded. Most turned away others narrowed their eyes in defiance.
"Spot I'm half dressed." He shrugged.
"Don't worry 'bout what others think."
"Well…I don't really but when I look like this." She gestured to her clothes. Spot didn't look. As they entered the restaurant he barked for a boy named Snipeshooter. The tiny kid dashed toward him looking her way momentarily.
"Give her your shirt." He commanded and the boy readily obeyed. Quickly he removed the long sleeved shirt, which was a brown button up, reveling another long sleeved shirt. Shaun thanked him as she shoved her arms in and buttoned it. She wondered how the young boy wasn't extremely warm wearing so many layers.
Spot had already seated himself at a table and after nodding to the boy she maneuvered her way to him. Automatically she sat next to him averting her gaze to her lap. "This is Shaun." Spot introduced her. She looked up at the boys.
Racetrack sat across from her smiling encouragingly. Next to him was a rather tall boy with dirty blonde hair and a red bandanna around his neck. His arm was resting on the back of the chair a brunette girl occupied. She smiled timidly. Next to Shaun was a boy with curly brown hair who was currently scolding a young boy that reminded her of Mattie. The other side was Spot and next to him was a boy with blonde hair and an eye patch.
"I'm Jack." The boy with the bandanna responded. "This is Sarah."
"Hello." Shaun smiled back.
"That's her brothers David and the younger one is Les." Jack continued the introductions. The little boy waved profusely at her before dashing to another table with more newsboys. David inclined his head.
"Nice to meet you." He said. She nodded.
"And I'm Kid Blink." The eye patch boy announced winking at her. Spot's eyes became slits. Kid Blink cleared his throat before picking up the menu.
"I'm glad to meet you all." Shaun said. "You're Spot's friends?"
"You could say that." Jack answered reaching for his glass of water. "I'm more of a colleague." Spot snorted.
"He's more like some annoying guy I have to deal with."
"How am I annoying?" Jack retorted.
"Racetrack did you order any food?" Spot changed the subject.
"Yeah."
"We're sharing a sandwich." Spot informed Shaun passing her a glass of water.
"Oh." She hoped her stomach wouldn't protest like it had before. Spot seemed unconcerned when the waiter placed the plate in front of him.
"Spot," Jack said. "We have some serious things we need to discuss."
"Yeah I figured."
"I mean we all need to discuss."
"I get it." Spot glared at the boy. "We'll plan something but right now I just wanna eat. Is that okay with ya Jackey boy?"
"Sure." Shaun noticed the sudden tension.
"So are you guys' newsboys?" Shaun asked watching as Spot placed her half of the sandwich on a napkin.
"Yeah." Kid Blink said eyeing his own plate hungrily. "We sell the papes."
"How's business?"
"Good. Not a lot of competition." Everyone shifted uneasily in their seats.
"Blink." Race warned.
"Spot you sell newspapers?" Shaun inquired.
"I thought we covered this."
"Not really."
"Yeah I do. Eat." She sighed. The others were silent as they watched her and Spot gobble down their sandwiches. She wondered vaguely why they seemed confused.
Conversation was limited and strained for the rest of the meal and when it was finished everyone threw change on the table and stood.
"I'll come see ya tomorrow." Spot said when they exited the restaurant. Jack nodded as he reached for Sarah's hand. The girl held his between both of hers and the warm smile brightened. Shaun felt the urge to take Spot's as well but she knew he'd resist.
"Where are ya gonna go Shaun?" Racetrack asked.
"With Spot." Her answer was quick and definite. The looks of confusion returned to the people she had met. Spot rolled his eyes.
"Shaun you're not goin' with me. I asked Jack before you came if ya could stay in Manhattan."
"What?" she turned to him her arms crossed.
"You're not coming with me."
"What are you talking about? Of course I am."
"See ya tomorrow." He waved at her and began to walk away.
"Spot Conlon! You are not leaving me behind!"
"Shut up!" he called from behind his shoulder. Turning to the others she waved. They all looked at her as if she was unaware of the decision she was making. As if they knew something she didn't. Ignoring it she spoke quickly.
"Nice to meet you all again and thanks Jack but I'm going with Spot. See you later Racetrack." She had to run to catch up with him.
"Dammit Shaun." He growled. "Why can't ya just listen to me like everyone else?"
"Spot I don't know any of them."
"You know Racetrack. You'll be fine."
"Spot I…" she trailed off. What could she say to explain her determination not to leave him? She couldn't tell him she loved him. He sighed and his expression softened.
"Brooklyn's not a place for you Shaun."
"I survived that maze. I think I can handle Brooklyn."
"Shaun I don't know what's happened since I've been gone. Bad things could happen to ya, you might see things you don't want to."
"Spot," she stopped him by grabbing his arm. "I know you wouldn't let anything happen to me." They locked gazes. It felt like the seconds were ticking by slowly as they stood facing each other. Spot's expression was intense and surprised. She couldn't understand why he looked at her like he did.
Gently shaking her off his arm he lifted his hand to her face. Lightly he brushed his fingers down her cheek stepping forward. Her heart raced as he drew closer. Licking her lips she wanted to ask him what he was doing but the words wouldn't form. His fingers paused underneath her chin. Carefully he moved his thumb over her bottom lip never averting his eyes from hers.
"Don't have so much faith in me." He whispered. "I'm not the person you think I am." She closed her eyes wishing he'd kiss her. Shaun didn't have the courage to close the distance between them.
"Then don't make me think that way." She replied her voice barely audible. After a few minutes she felt the absence of his presence and his grip. Shaun's legs were seemingly nonexistent as she remained in the place he left her. Reluctantly she opened her eyes and sighed when he was no longer there.
"Hurry up, I won't wait for ya if you fall behind!" Spot told her already halfway to the bridge. Smiling she jogged after him falling into step beside him. Hesitantly she reached for his hand and relished when the calm warmth spread over her at his proximity. Spot didn't let go.
Not until he pointed to a large warehouse and said. "This is Brooklyn. And that's where I live."
A/N: Another chapter down! I can feel the evil perfectionist editor rearing its ugly head as I continue writing. A part of me feels like I need to take all the chapters down and rewrite them again haha. I'm trying really hard not to do that. Anyways hope you all enjoyed this.
Joker: I'm glad you loved the last chapter, and this one answered all your questions I'm sure. :)
Scree: I really loved Abby too. And don't worry that wasn't the end of the story yet!
Ealasaid: Yes, there is. But there's still a ways to go before the story ends.
Switch: I'm glad you like the song suggestions! :) I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
Mighty: Aw, everyones sad about Abby. I'm glad everyone liked her though, haha. Thanks for reading!