Edward's Addiction

Summary – canon pairing – Cullen's attitudes differ from canon – lots of lemony goodness, or badness depending upon your mindset. Some bondage, ok lots of bondage.

Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight. This story line is mine.

Warning: Very adult material. "M" for supernatural subject matter, may not be appropriate for those under 18 years of age.

My undying thanks for editing and their endless patience: John-Mark and Susan

To Issy: Thanks so much for your patience.

A/N: I wish to add my thanks to BornOnHalloween for her sense of humor. Thank you, that means more than you can know.

Edward's Addiction

Awake

Chapter 14

~o0o~

Hope

Hope is born with each days dawning,

The glorious light, bright and clear.

Light shines across mountain, plains and water.

It finds all save the darkest pits.

Hope can be found in clear blue eyes

That dance with mischief

Fear can come with Hope

That of Loss

Life can be so bitter and lonely -

One begins to fear the Hope!

Finally when Hope is allowed

The surrender can be bitter sweet

Carol Walling Steele

May 1985

Previously:

The family had decided before Edward had left for Alaska that he was the one who could not take revenge on Tanya. Her sisters would have to be the ones to pronounce the sentence. Alice had seen that they wouldn't act today, that they would try to take her home with them, but that ultimately, Edward would be forced to defend himself from her and that would result in her death. Forgivable under vampire law."

EPOV

Under Carlisle's expertise, Bella began to recover nicely, physically at least. Two days after she'd been brought back to the Cullen house from her captivity and abuse, she was moved into Edward's and her room. There, Edward sat and watched over her, making sure that she didn't tangle the tubes that were feeding her and taking away the inevitable bodily waste products produced by the human body.

None of the family understood why Edward didn't just turn Bella now. It was beyond their understanding why he insisted upon waiting.

"It has to be her decision, Carlisle." Edward was again, trying to explain his logic to him. "I know Bella said she wanted to become like us, but I want to make sure that she's really ready to make that long a commitment. She needs to know what it's like to be human and well again. Even though her physical body is healed what about her mind. You know what it's like to under go conversion when the mind is unstable. You and I both have witnessed that."

Carlisle nodded then asked, "When did you become so compassionate Edward?"

"Once I realized how much Isabella meant to me and how I really wanted to keep her with me as my mate. I need to know, she'll stay with me and be herself. Is that compassion? I thought it just being selfish in a different way."

Again, Carlisle nodded listening to what I had to say. "I guess I can understand, I'm not sure I agree 100% with your assessment, but I can understand your need to make sure it's what Isabella wants. I seriously doubt that she'll change her mind though."

Edward...I love you...Please come find me...Save me Edward, save....

"Bella, Bella Love, come back to me. Please come back to me. I love you Bella. I need you Bella. You are my Life now! You can't leave me." If Edward had been capable of actually crying, he would have. Bella was laying so still. She'd hardly moved a muscle since Carlisle had moved her back in Edward's room. Her color was much lighter than it had been before. She could almost pass for a member of the Cullen's clan she'd become so light.

Due to his extended absence from school, this siblings put out the story that he'd been transferred to another school that was more college prep and to help prepare him for an advanced degree in music and music theory. All the necessary paper work had been forged and Alice had not foreseen any difficulties with that story.

Now, all Edward had to do was sit and wait.

And wait...

And wait...

His patience was rewarded about a week after she'd been moved into their room.

Very faintly, "Edward..."

Edward dropped the book he'd been reading and rushed to Bella's bedside. "Yes Bella, I'm here."

"It wasn't a dream. You really found me. I thought I'd died..."

"You almost did, Love. You almost did." Edward was only able to hear what Bella was saying due to vampire hearing, her voice was so low and breathy. "Hush, don't talk, Love. Gather your strength, and drink some water. Your throat must be really dry."

"How long..." Bella was struggling to make her throat and mouth work. Edward was right. Her throat and mouth – especially her tongue – were so dry they were hard to move. She gratefully accepted the water offered in small sips, as the first she'd taken was rather large and her mouth was so dry, most of it leaked out. After that, Edward found a straw and put it the water glass.

"How long have you been back with me, or how long were you gone?" Bella nodded, "Almost 3 weeks."

Bella raised her eyebrows, "3 weeks!"

"Yes, it took almost 3 days to finally find you. Then almost a day to make sure we could actually save you from James." Edward's eyes took on a distinctly dangerous look.

"What happened to...him." Bella did not want to say a name. That would have made her awful experience at his hands too real, and Bella was not ready to accept that anything had really happened to her like that.

With an evil chuckle Edward replied, "Oh he's been taken care of. That's not important now, your getting stronger is what's important now."

Bella realized now that she was hooked up to machines and had all kinds of tubes and wires running from them to her. She raised her left arm, "How long..."

"Now that you're conscious, most of them can come out today. When Carlisle comes back, I'm sure he'll remove most if not all of them." Edward told her with that beautiful smile she'd come to love so much.

With that little crease that appeared between Bella's eyebrows she asked her next question, "Who's Tanya?"

"Where did you hear that name?" Edward whole posture changed at Bella's question.

Bella took another sip of water, "I heard the two main men who took me, talking about her being the reason they took me, and the others." Then another horror overtook Bella's mind eye. The others. "Oh my god, Edward. What happened to the others."

"Bella..." Edward saw from Bella expression it would be better to tell her because he realized she'd get no rest and that her imagination would make it far worse than actually knowing. He held up his hands in surrender, "Ok. They are dead. That's all you need to know."

"I remember them screaming...in pain...and..." Bella was shaking her head as if trying to drive the memory from it. "I guess I knew they must be dead because it all seemed to stop so suddenly" she caught her lower lip between her teeth, "I guess I already knew they must have been dead. Why..."

"They were red herrings, meant to throw us off the track. I have to tell you the rest of the family is really pissed about them being taken too." Edward paused, "You were the real target Bella. You're safe now and you shouldn't let it worry you, though from your expression, I can see that you will."

Bella's eyes had a hunted, haunted look about them. Carlisle had said that she'd experience PTSD and it would take her a long time to be rid of the images of what had taken place. "However, James and the others have paid for what they'd done."

Looking at Bella, Edward knew that he'd have to tell her everything. Not knowing for her was worse than the knowing. She was a remarkable human. "The one who instigated it all was Tanya Denali and she is still, "at large" shall we say."

Bella's voice was becoming stronger now that she was using it a little and sipping the water slowly, "Yes, I remember them talking about her. That's when I knew I would die too. Why didn't they just kill me as they did the others." A shutter rippled through Bella's body at the remembering the others that'd been taken from this house with her. What I never understood was why, this Tanya, wanted me dead I didn't even know her."

"That was, rather is still, my fault Bella" Edward dropped his head into his hands, scrubbing his face as though that action would make it all go away. "I'm so sorry Bella, I'm so, so sorry."

His expression was so dreadfully sad that Bella longed to comfort him, but was unable to sit up, or pull his face to her breasts and hug him for comforting. Bella found that humorous and snorted. The action surprised her and her eyes widened.

"Snorting is good, Bella..." Edward's comment was interrupted.

"Yes it is. Welcome back Bella. Alice said that today you'd awaken" Carlisle was standing in the door way.

"How long you been standing there Carlisle?" Edward asked.

"Not long" Carlisle answered as he seemingly flowed to Bella's bed and felt her pulse.

"Yes, you're doing very well Bella. I knew when Esme called me to come home to check on you, that you'd be much improved when I got here. You're color isn't too good, but then you did loose a great deal of blood." Carlisle was all business as he spoke while starting to remove tubes and wires. All, but one, of the machines stopped making their clicking and beeping noises as he worked.

While he'd worked removing the tubes and wires, Carlisle was thinking to Edward, please follow me into my study, and as quickly as he'd entered he was gone from the room.

Edward leaned over and kissed Bella's forehead. "You need to go back to sleep. You need to gather your strength. We'll talk more when you've awakened again. Close your eyes".

With that, Bella's eyes, closed and she slipped into a finally quiet sleep.

~o0o~