I lay here in his arms blissfully for the second time. Telling him about what happened was difficult, not as difficult as when I thought he was disgusted by by me but still no picnic.
I love to touch him. And knowing im the only one who gets to do so is a complete thrill. No one else, just me.
"Christian"
"Mmmm" He mumbles.
"Thank you" I tell him sincerely.
"For what?" He asks confused and sleepily.
"For letting me tell you my story, making the moment about me and what I needed as well as letting your anger and need for information take a backseat."
He chuckles. "I still want to know." He gives me a sexy lazy smirk "But I will let that come at another time." He holds me close and runs his hands through my hair, then caresses my face down to my shoulder following my curves until his hand rests at my hip.
"I can feel you looking at them Ana, and I know you have questions too. Might as well get everything out at once. Shed light on all of the skeletons as they say." He states plainly while waving his hand nonchalantly in the air but I can see the fear on his face.
Shit we got caught staring and now he's nervous.
Do I want to go there yet? Haven't we had enough heavy for one night?
Don't lie bitch you so want to know!
It's true but I don't want him to be afraid or uncomfortable either.
"I wasn't going to bring it up since I can see your not exactly comfortable with the subject but I won't stop you from telling me." I state trying to hide my blatant curiosity.
"Its not a nice tale Ana, and it happened over several years. I don't want you to see my differently. True i'm hesitant to tell someone as I don't really talk about this shit but what scares me, what really scares me is that I don't think I could handle if you saw me differently after you knew. I can't stand the look of pity in peoples eyes once they know." He states sorrowfully. And I can't take it, the way he looks down trying to hide the lost broken look in his eyes and worry marring his beautiful face.
I quickly climb on top of him straddling his hips. "Never Adonis. Never feel like you need to hide from me. I might hurt for you, but never pity." I say softly as I take his face in my hands and lift it so that he looks into my eyes.
Dammit he's heart stoppingly gorgeous.
"Your perfect" He groans while running his hands up and down my back before pulling me towards him and flipping us over. He dips low and plants a damn right indecent kiss on my bruised lips. When we come up for air he looks at me with darkened lust filled eyes, they remind me of the clouds right before a big storm, its a little intimidating.
Those eyes paired with his height, the bulk of his muscles, and his larger than life persona and its no wonder why every girl within sight of him drops their panties instantly.
No joke.
"Your too kind sir, but I do believe youve got me in the perfection department. They broke the mold with you."
"If im the mold then your the inspiration." He says in a voice that melts my core as he pulls me into him, his chest to my back. He moves my hair over my shoulder and plants sweet salacious kisses behind my ear, down my neck and over my collar bone before nipping my shoulder.
"Ouch!" I feign injury.
He simply chuckles.
"So, i'm sure you know at least some information about me." He states factually.
"Yes. Your adopted, have a brother and sister who were also adopted, grew up in Washington, went to Harvard but dropped out to begin your company and never looked back." I state ooozing pride for him.
"Yes. That's basically the google search." He sighs shaking his head in mock dismay.
"I was adopted at 4 years old. Grace was leaving her shift in the local ER when I was brought in. She had just completed a 12 hour shift and was exhausted. But she heard my screams and about the damage I had inflicted to the ambulance personnel as well as a few nurses already and says she felt compelled to stay. When she walked into the emergency room... well she was horrified." He begins his story. His voice and eyes got a far off look and tone, like he's in a trance.
We should have left this alone...
I'm beginning to think so.
"My mother came from money. She was high society in Montana one county over from where my parents or living. So they knew of my borth family but did not know them personally. My grandparents, aunt, uncle, and mother were traveling for vacation for hers and her twin sisters 16th birthday. They had a layover in Detroit which turned into a next day flight due to bad weather rolling in. They decided to go see a baseball game that night since they were going to be grounded until the morning anyways. On the way home from the late game sitting at a stoplight a gang attacked them. Pulled my grandparents out of the car and shot them along with my uncle. They took the girls. My mother woke up in a hospital several weeks later pregnant and alone, no one in the family survived the attack and they had no other living relatives . My mother left detroit and went home to bury her family. She did her best to run the horse farm left to her while getting her GED and raising me. She even managed to hire people to help her learn so she didn't mess anything up, and did well at it too. When I was about two she apparently met her business managers son who had been away at college while his dad was working at my family's ranch. They apparently fell in "love" and were going to live happily ever after as a family with me. After getting married it didn't take long before he got her to agree to put him on everything equally and even slipped in clauses about everything going to him upon my mother's death. She was extremely naive. He began to hit her and introduce her to drugs until she didn't even know her own name, of course he documented her downfall and took control of the company stating she was depressed and self-destructive due to her families demise and being a single parent for so long. Made everyone believe the stress got to her. He was constantly drunk and loved to hit her, when she wasn't responsive enough he turned his sights on me. Due to his erratic behavior and lack of business sense he lost everything before long. The abuse got worse and he would use various instruments on her and me. Riding crops, canes, brands, cigarettes, whatever he had closest to him really. One day they received a foreclosure notice on the ranch and that night he killed her then passed out drunk. The next morning he woke up in a panic and forged her signature on a suicide note then proceeded to beat me half to death before disappearing with anything of value he could find and what little money was left. He disappeared without a trace, as did his father after lighting everything on fire. The police came quickly as a fire at that particular ranch was easily visible and big news around town. They found me before the flames reached the part of the house my room was in. Grace saw me in the E.R., face swollen and bloodied, labored breathing, numerous broken bones, and burns randomly placed all over by chest and back tantruming in fear because of the people trying to touch me. She claims I looked at her and spoke to her soul or something, I don't know you would have to ask her. But she simply walked over and swooped me up to a triage room not full of people, and stood at the other end of the room until I calmed down enough to allow her to asses the damage. She came to visit me everyday. She came in before her shift to sit with me, checked in throughout the day, ate lunch with me, and visited after her shift. It didn't take long before Carrick and Elliot began to join in too. Shortly before I was released she even got me a Doctor's coat and I got to go on "rounds" with her. I didn't notice until the next day the coat said "Dr. Grey" when I asked her about it she said that when I got out she would like me to be a Grey. We both cried and that was it. I became a Grey and we all moved to Seattle to get a fresh start and be closer to Grace's parents. I haven't known fear or pain like that ever since. Grace was my angel, always has been. Her and Carrick found all of the information out and filled in the parts I couldn't remember from being so young so that when I started asking questions they would have answers. It helped a lot when I was a kid, if I had not been able to get that information I would have been an even angrier and more resentful kid thinking my mother didn't love or want me. She was just young and naive. It took me a long time to forgive her for letting for letting that man into our life and allowing him to destroy it. but after many years of seeing a shrink I came to realize that she had lost everyone she had ever cared about and just needed a companion. Unfortunately since she had had so little life experience she wasn't a very good judge of character."
He takes a deep breath and lets out a long sigh.
"It took me years to be able to tolerate even some texts from my family. It wasn't until Mia got adopted that someone was able to really hug me. Still to this day they can't really touch me and I don't tolerate it well from others. with the exception of you of course." He says with a sideways smirk.
Damn, that smirk does things to me.Wow. I don't know what I expected from the story but that definitely wasn't it. It's all so tragic but with a Hallmark happy ending. you really could make a fortune off of movie deal." I say in an attempt to be light hearted.
On the inside my heart is breaking for him. Like I told him earlier it's not pity but shared pain. I can't imagine what not only he went through but his poor mother. Im also enraged at the stepfather and his dad for letting it all happen. I have questions about the two men but wouldn't dare pry further as it seems that sharing his story has exhuasted him. He is holding me closely nuzzling in the crook of my neck and losing the battle with sleep.
The exhaustion is clear on his face. "Hmm. Yes but I have enough money and want for nothing but what I have right here, right now in my arms and in my heart I wasnt sure existed." He whispers.
In his heart? OH. MY. GOD.I'm not sure hes fully awake or meant to say that.
"I know what you mean." I softly say back to him.
I run my fingers through his hair and gently hum "somewhere over the rainbow". Ray used to sing it to me when I was little and couldnt sleep.
It seems to do the trick because he is quickly asleep. I lay there in blissful contentment as I ponder the whirlwind of meeting this greek god I have so fondly dubbed Adonis. He is damaged, he is strong, he is brilliant, he is perfection, and god willing he is mine. I can see myself falling quickly for him.
Oh sweetheart, you already have.Maybe. But at least outloud I won't say im in love. I think to myself as I drift off to sleep lying blissfully in Christians strong arms.