Why was he always being left out? Legally speaking was it not his brother's obligation to tell him if there was a problem since the youngest was his brother-in-law (something he did not like referring to the other as), so therefore some responsibility for his wellbeing fell on him as well. But no…he was left in the dark about what had gone on the last Friday before break started, nor was he told about his the younger male's odd behavior. Sure he noticed it, but he physically wanted to be told if there really was a problem or if he was just looking at something the wrong way. That didn't happen…and just why he was always left in ignorant bliss all the time was beyond him.
However…Lyle was surprisingly used to it all. When younger he hated it more then anything, but after so many years one could only grin in bare it. That might've been a horrible thing to do, but it wasn't like he could actually ask to be included. It just sounded ridiculous…He'd learned over the years the he really was nothing more then second best to his brother when it came to anything dealing with Setsuna, and that too was something he couldn't change. He was…really in the way of their relationship, because he knew deep down his brother wanted the younger male all to himself. Why wouldn't he? It was his wife after all, so of course he didn't want others touching him.
It was a realization that he'd grown to accept over the years, but he never once voice what he felt or complained. He did still try though, flirting with the youngest whenever an opportunity arose, trying his best to have his attention brought over to him. The act was childish really, but he didn't care seeing that the two of them never had much alone together. When they did it was always during those Tuesdays and Thursdays when Lockon would be working, and it wasn't all that enjoyable since the younger male was always out of it. Lyle was sure the other never became so depressed during the weekend, the two days when he had to work and needed to be away from the apartment for hours.
True be told it was probably his fault that the younger male didn't notice him as much as he wanted, in the past either acting completely awkward around him or…well, that's pretty much it. Back then the mere thought of being in the same room as Setsuna made his cheek heat up furiously, because he just had that affect on him. He was his first crush, and it really did put quite the damper on the situation since the youngest was his brother's first as well. Most said that the first crush was something that never lasted, and that statement was so full of bull that he almost wanted punch whoever had come up with it. Never? Never? Dammit, if that was the case he wouldn't be lusting after his brother's wife! And it wasn't a recent thing! He'd been doing it for years, and the two of them were completely okay with it (which wasn't a bad thing)!
The older male was sure his feelings could be considered borderline fascination, but…wasn't that was love was? A passion that makes one devoted to another, a feeling so strong that it couldn't be described easily. That's what he felt when the younger male was around, and his only wish was that he was actually a part of his and the younger male's relationship…and not just an 'add-on'. It was true…he felt like he didn't need to be there, that he was tagging along where he wasn't wanted. Well that did sound like a little much, given that the youngest had admitted that he liked him as well…he just happened to like his brother more. But then again it probably went right back to the way the older male acted around Setsuna, since Lockon was much more forward when it came to how he felt.
Then again his brother did a lot of things he didn't…if anything he could've been considered a background character when it came to comparing himself to his twin. When younger he was never one to start anything, which usually lead to him being left out when the other children would play. It wasn't that he disliked being around others, the older male just wasn't the kind of person to speak first. He'd admit back then that he was introverted to the point where being around people he didn't know well made him feel very uncomfortable, and of course his brother noticed this right off the bat.
As always Lockon would literally pull him into any kind of social situation, even if he wasn't necessarily wanted there. It was just the kind of person he was, always wanting the so called 'outcast' to have a good time as well. It was an odd habit, but because Lockon was a 'dragger' and not a 'follower' it just seemed to fit. A dragger was someone who liked pulling people into things, going every which way with no real aim in sight other then to 'do something'. Draggers usually had a strong personality, one that needed time to adjust to if new. Then you had the follower…the (usually reluctant) person who was always dragged around by the other, and would probably never admit it but liked being dragged since it made them feel like they were a part of something. They were usually the withdrawn, socially awkward people who didn't really say much around others (basically, him).
He had been his brother's follower for pretty long time, but it wasn't until Setsuna moved into the village that he wanted to follow him. Unusual was the best way to put it, since the younger male was in no way dragging him around anywhere. So really it was a follower following a follower, and something like that just didn't happen often. But then again maybe it wasn't…there was something egging him on, something telling Lyle that this person was worth following much like his brother. Did that mean he was a new breed of some kind? Or was it that the two terms just could not describe what a person was deep down?
The older male wasn't sure, but he did know that the two of them were outcasts…
He'd thought about it before, and Lyle was sure that it was another reason his brother fell so hard for the youngest. It was probably something he didn't noticed until a little later, and it just reinforced how he felt. Setsuna wasn't normal…he'd known this since the moment the laid eyes on him. There was just something about his disposition that just screamed 'I'm not like everyone else', and he was right. The younger male had a very odd way of looking at the world, since it was clear that he had never experienced many thing normal people had. That fact fascinated him…how could someone have such little knowledge of he real world? Better yet how can someone have such little knowledge about basic things? The older male was absolutely astonished the first time he saw the other drink Ramune, Setsuna treating it like it was a delicacy. It was just soda.
From then on he watched his interactions with everything, wanting to see just how they differ from the interactions 'normal' people had. It felt a little odd examining him as if he was some kind of animal, but once he started he just couldn't stop himself. There was something so captivating about him, maybe it was his naivety or maybe it was uncaring exterior he put out to the world. It was just a false front, but it just made him even more of an entrancing person. He'd been hurt in the past, his brother told him this, so he understood why someone would block so much of themselves from the eyes of everyone around them. It was saddening more then anything.
But as always only Lockon could break that poker-face, something he wanted to try for so long. On the other hand he wasn't the best at cheering people up, and he knew it had something to do with his lack of peppiness. It was there, he was sure of it, but he refused to use it for some reason. Others liked upbeat people because they knew how to talk to them without making the situation worse…basically their tone made those 'hard to read' people feel better. For those the peppy people weren't cheering up, the ones that watched from afar, it came off as incredibly fake and he really didn't want to come off as that when talking to the younger male. However…his brother wasn't fake, that was his personality (excluding the year he turned thirteen since that was a moody year for everyone).
There were two type of twins to him; the first being the ones that shared everything in common, right down to their likes, dislikes, and personality. He didn't know anyone like that, because he along with most of the others twins he knew fell under the other category. The opposites…the twins that shared only looks and nothing more, personalities completely different from their siblings to the point where confusing one for the other would be like calling a grapefruit an orange and vise-versa. It would be offensive and wrong in everyway. He and his brother were indeed two different people, but yet they had fallen for the same person. One would've thought that doing something like that would've fallen under the 'same person' twin type, but the two did have different reasons for being attracted to him.
He wasn't going to lie and say he knew exactly what his brother's reasoning was, but he did know what his was. There was something about him that Lyle could relate to, that distant attitude he though only he himself possessed was something of a reassurance. The older male did not dislike being around others, rather the whole 'group' aspect of things just did not sit well with him (at least when younger). He would've just rather do something on his own, because he believed that if other's interfered that would only slow the process down. That did seem too far out there, did it? He didn't think so…
Because of his distant attitude he barely had any acquaintances, and even the few he did have the older male wasn't really sure if he really could call them by such a name. The only reason he had people called 'friends' was because of his brother, since he was always the one to attract attention and since Lyle just happened to be tagging along, boom, friends. It didn't matter if he got along with them, they were going to stick around and there was nothing he could do about it. At first that's what he thought, but once the smoke cleared and the number of people actually started to dissipate…there were only three left. Apparently he found that just because his brother talked to a lot of people didn't mean they were 'buddies'…they were just sheep that liked for follow someone they deemed him 'cool' or 'popular'.
Lockon was considered both things…until he opened his mouth and made sure no one every thought such a thing again. That was the day he considered his brother probably the most genuine person he'd ever known, and that in fact rubbed people the wrong way. The two of them were twelve when it happened, and even at such a young age his brother was considered the popular one. It was more then a little annoying to have half the school (that was probably an exaggeration) crowed around both of them as they tried to enjoy themselves during the break, because that was the time when Lyle liked to keep to himself without interruption.
He didn't have to answer questions to a topic he wasn't sure were going to be important in real life, wasn't forced to be in a group for projects that he really didn't want anything to do with, and didn't have to interact with others at all. Their break period was a time when he could be himself, and was not confined in a classroom with people he'd rather not be around. Maybe if he was peppy like his brother he would've enjoyed the high energy of others, and maybe then he wouldn't have been so withdrawn. However, at the time he didn't think there was a thing to be done about that aspect of his life, so he just swept the issue under the carpet like he usually did.
After wading through the crowed he just wanted to leave, since that week's events had worn him down to the point where sleep was more then welcome in his day. The sports festival…a week long event were all regular classroom activities were cancelled, having all the students participate in some kind of sport related event. Of course the much younger children were separated from the older ones, just to keep it fair since the week was competitive. But probably the most surprising thing about that week was that he was actually excited about it; there was always some kind of good that came out of school festivals, and the sport one just happened to be that he was allowed to pair up with his brother for events.
There was a cardinal rule during gym that was always to be followed until both he and his brother left the school…they were to NEVER be placed on the same team. For some reason the two of them just worked well together, becoming an unstoppable forced that couldn't be taken down easily…that was a slight exaggeration but not far from the truth. Since the class versus class competition wasn't until the end of the week, the students were allowed to pick a small team that would compete against others. The other students would literally rush to get the both of them on their team, which would sometimes lead to arguments that needed to be broken up by the teachers. Needless to say he and his brother were considered MVPs.
Lyle was sure the reason the two of them worked so well was because they balanced one another, making up for the weaknesses the other had. His biggest weak point was his amount of stamina, because he could only continuously do something for so long without completely burning himself out. Lockon on the other hand was like the goddamn Energizer Bunny, just going and going…but that's where his problem lied. Just because he could go for miles didn't necessarily mean he was the swiftest between the two of them, but that wasn't to say that he was the slowest person in his class (he was actually the fastest). So basically if there was anything that was held in the form of a race, he took over, and if there was something that required the person to perform some kind of taxing workout (jumping jacks, sits up, etc.), then his brother took over.
And that was how they spent the previous week, either winning or coming in somewhere within the top five of each competition. It was the main reason he felt a little more irritated then usual that day, and why he felt like crashing on the spot. While walking away from the crowed he noticed three people not participating in trying to praise his brother, which was a slight surprise but didn't faze him too much. He knew the three of them, not personally, but had seen them around. The Haptism twins were only known by all because of the ridiculous antics of the 'elder' brother, and everyone in some way he been a victim of a prank of some kind. The lone child, sitting by the school reading, was notorious for his habit of calling everyone that approached him an 'idiot'.
Basically…they were a bunch of outcasts and oddballs just like him.
Because he was so focused on how abnormal the three were, not acting like everyone else, he couldn't help but jump when he heard his brother call attention to everyone. All of Lyle's focus was placed on his brother as he head him shout at the top of his lungs that 'he was just like everyone else' and that he was 'not an idol in any shape or form'. The older male's initial thought that pretty simple, at least in his book…WHO THE HELL SAYS THAT? Who would willingly say they didn't want to be popular? Didn't…didn't that make school easier? He was sure that the higher one was on the 'social pyramid' the better off they were, because when people praised someone they didn't make fun of them.
Lockon was at the top, the other kids liked him for unknown reasons and that should've pleased him…so why was he shouting nonsense? Why did he want to renounce such a high position for one that would basically make him invisible to others? But it wasn't like the people surrounding him would just leave him like that, not after all the years of following and praising. Yeah…they were his friends, people that would stick by him no matter what he said. At least that's what he thought until he saw everyone start to disperse, a few muttering that his brother was 'weird'. Some friends…
Quickly going over to his brother, the first thing he wanted to say was 'are you alright?' but what came out was 'ARE YOU INSANE?' Of course his mind needed to get that out of the way before any real concern could be shown, because that was the kind of person he was. Comfort was always a priority, but that didn't mean it was at the very top of his list…calling his brother out on BS was. He was such an idiot sometimes, so much so that it was actually necessary for him to tell him. But that's what kind of person he was…as stupid as what he said sounded, there was always a reason for his insanity, always benefiting everyone in the long run.
However, that little fact was forgotten as he hit him behind the head, saying that what he had done was 'completely unnecessary'. Obviously Lockon just laughed a little, admitting that he had been a little loud with his announcement…and Lyle was sure he had completely missed the point. Why was he so dense…? Hitting him again, he told (well…really yelled) that having that much attention and just letting it slip away was absurd. But as he was about to go into further detail, he noticed an odd look cross his brother's face. At first it looked blank, as if he was trying to fathom just what had come out of his mouth…but that wasn't it. Upon closer inspection he saw that the look was that of confusion, and that confusion started to irritate him. Why didn't he get it…?
Popularity was…everything, because being on the bottom was…well, rather lonely. And it wasn't until he thought such a thing that his anger began to lessen; to be loved by all came with a price, a price that wasn't made clear to him until his brother gave him a little hint. With a quick pat on the head, his twin told him that they had 'more time to hang out since the crowds were gone', and his heart really couldn't help but sink a little. Loneliness was not something reserved to the people at the base of the pyramid, and he learned that day that it was also shared with those at its peak. Just because one was surrounded by people did not mean they were content with that kind of attention. Having to please so many meant neglecting priorities that were once important, and since he knew what kind of person his brother was…he understood.
The reason he had thrown away his high position was because he too was lonely, and since it was impossible for Lyle for get to his level…he brought himself down to his. He was his brother…and truth be told he had been neglecting him in order to please others, and he must've realized that. Lockon always did that…thought more of others then his own wellbeing, and maybe that was his biggest weakness. To put others before oneself was a excellent trait for someone to posses, however; that did lead to problems…one being the overlook of personal concerns. Everyone needed to be a little selfish once in awhile, because if you didn't know how to talk care of yourself, how could you really take care of someone else?
But from then on people stopped crowed, though when the sports festival did come up they were still treated like royalty. Another (slightly stranger) outcome of his brother's outburst was the sudden attention from the Haptism twins…and the sudden annoyed presence from one young Tieria Erde. They were the only three that had actually stayed after his brother was done, and for some reason that was enough of a reason for them to officially become friends. 'Officially' basically meant spending time with one another outside of school grounds, something both he and his brother really hadn't been accustomed to. In the past they rarely had people over, but after making 'friends' they were over practically everyday (well, the second youngest was pretty much dragged there by Hallelujah). Lyle would watch them from afar, until he was pulled into the action which was…mildly enjoyable.
Those were his friends, though he really didn't start getting use to them until Setsuna moved to the village. Once he arrived the older male felt more…compelled to do things, like the younger male had given him an actual reason to do something. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had fallen for him, or maybe he just had that kind of affect on people seeing that his brother had gotten over his slump extremely fast upon leaning about his new wife. It was strange how someone with such little people skills could alter the lives of other people, given that he didn't really say or do all that much. But with those small, delicate gestures and straight forward way of speaking just made people…feel different.
He certainly felt different when around the youngest, like his problems were pushed to the side momentarily. This was another reason he was willing to overlook the whole 'not being told anything' for the time being, but just because he overlooked it didn't mean he wouldn't brood over it. This was exactly what he was doing as he lied against the floor, one arm behind his head as the television near him continued to emit sounds of a few high pitched voice actresses. Since he wasn't paying the screen any mind, he couldn't tell just what was going in the slightest…but it sounded like someone was something was being blown up. Being so lost in thought he'd almost forgotten about the fact that Setsuna was resting against his chest, all of his attention focused on the screen.
Of course he wasn't going to move until the commercial break, and given what the day way that moving wasn't going to be much. Tuesday…Lockon was away and that meant the younger male would be in a slump until either something was done or his brother returned. It also meant he wouldn't react to thing as quickly, so the hand that was currently racking its fingers through his hair would go unnoticed until the break. It wasn't uncommon for him to do such things when they were alone, though it did feel as if he was taking advantage of him sometimes. Setsuna wasn't really aware of what was happening to him sometimes, and when he would come to he'd look a little displeased with the situation. However, he would never push him away, just muttering a small 'cut it out' or 'stop touching me'.
So…did that mean he didn't mind being touched? They were, after all, dating so therefore touching was going to be a given, right? Oh yes…they were dating. The younger male had admitted to him years ago that he did hold feelings for him, and that did make their situation a little better. For one it made showing his affection a little less stressful, since he didn't have to worry about his brother punching him for touching him wife. Granted he was already permitted to do some things, but now that his feelings were no longer one-sided if he touched the other or not no longer fell under his brother's jurisdiction. But seeing that the two of them were nineteen, there was an unspoken agreement between them that was probably made the moment they turned eighteen…
Sex was a no-no unless Setsuna was completely ready. Really the three of them were supposed to talk about it together, since it was a major concern in their lives. But unless the younger male physically came to one of them and said 'I want you to', they weren't allowed to act on their instincts. This was completely understandable given the fact that the youngest was well…young. Yes he was a teenager, but his mind was still very naïve. That very naivety and innocence was something he did not want the hands of corruption to take away so easily, because committing such an act meant exposing him to things deemed 'dirty' and 'immoral' by some. To lead him down such a path when he wasn't ready would be unforgivable, and neither of them wanted to be responsible for that.
On the other hand the physically aspect of the act would definitely being them closer, both literally and figuratively. To be with someone like that, touching them in ways that were only appropriate behind closed doors …the mere thought of that caused Lyle to have quite the amazing feeling. There was so much trust that went along with sex, and to have the youngest have that much faith in him would be a big change. That wasn't to say he didn't trust him at all, the older male just wanted him to trust him the same way he did his brother. It was obvious he didn't, because it wasn't that hard to tell…Why wouldn't he be a little happier with the person who had changed him? Who had shown him a little of the world? Why wouldn't Setsuna be more attracted to that?
Lyle had done nothing significant in the younger male's life, so his existence was always being questioned in some form. If the younger male already had Lockon, did he really need a doppelganger that was the exact opposite of his personality? His feelings for the younger were strong, but for the most part he was treated like…a lesser version of his brother. That was unfair…They were completely different people, and it wasn't their fault that they just happened to be born as twins. It was another feature that came long with being a double, and he was sure Setsuna was trying his hardest to treat them as individuals…though he was failing in some area.
One such area was intimacy, and it would be rather unjust to blame all of said issue on just him. Just because Lyle liked to flirt with him, did not mean he was in any way comfortable with being close to him. His nerves would always get the better of him at some point, causing him to easily fluster and act awkward. There were just some things that could not change with time, and the pounding feeling in his chest that only appeared whenever the youngest was near was one of them.
For instant even as the youngest lay motionless against his chest, the older male's heart was beating much faster then it should have been. He was sure Setsuna noticed (since he was right there), but was too focused on other things to actually comment. There was no amount of calming that would make it stop, because he'd learned in the past that trying to stop such emotions made them even worse. Something as innocence as the two of them lying on the ground together could be blown WAY out of proportion by his mind, and it was all thanks to his goddamn hormones. The older male couldn't even count the number of nights were his thoughts would be plagued with images of inappropriate acts, and on those nights the only thing he could do was 'calm himself' in the bathroom.
It was sick really…but he was young and being deprived of what he was sure was a necessity of life. He was supposed to touch the person he loved, supposed to caress them and give them pleasure if the mood was right. As much as he kissed him, toyed with his body (always staying within the boundaries he was supposed to), he wanted more but knew that because the two of them were still slightly uncomfortable with the topic of 'exploration' that it wouldn't happen any time soon. So that basically meant his mind would continue to run wild with the fantasies he wanted to come true, and that only made him feel worse.
As a teenager he was supposed to have sexual desires that manifested themselves in his psyche often, he just wished they weren't about someone he spent so much time with. It just made their interactions even more awkward, because it was hard to shake such images when the person that was the main focus was right there. Lyle had to completely avoid him once because he was sure that there was no way for him to control himself. Having that feeling scared him…to know that there was a chance that he could so easily snap one day and jump the younger male without too much warning. Something like that would not only destroy the relationship they had, but would ruin the one he had with his brother and friends.
So the rules were simple…keep his hands above the waist…
When he heard the telltale sign that a commercial break finally happened, he felt the younger male move against his chest a little. The hand that played with his hair stopped, making its way a little lower and coming to a full stop once it came in contact with Setsuna's waist. It pulled him a little closer, and he was sure his heart started to beat a little faster because of it. As expected he was given a small muttered 'stop touching me', but as always nothing was done about it.
Now that the younger male was 'conscious' in a sense, it was time to try and talk to him about actually leaving the apartment. The older male had found that when they actually left the building Setsuna would feel better, acting like he usually did when Lockon was around. He knew that flat out asking if there was something the other wanted to do was out of the question, seeing that he would only be greeted with silence. So instead Lyle asked if there were any short of new manga that was supposed to come out that week, and the younger male perked up slightly. If he wanted the youngest to do anything, it was much easier to coach him along with what he liked then be blunt and ask. Yes, it was manipulation in a sense, but as long as they weren't doing anything immoral or illegal it was fine.
Breaking away from his grip the younger male crawled his way over to the closet, and he didn't have to ask just what he was going for. His laptop…it was the only way the youngest could check if there were any releases that he was missing. Lyle really only used the device for school, though it did serve as a means of entertainment. There were a lot of websites out there, so of course something was going to attract his attention, though it wasn't until he watched the younger male visit all the anime related websites he did that his attention was captivated a little more. The older male knew the medium had quite the following, but just how well known certain shows were didn't hit him until he saw the many fansites dedicated to only one show or character.
People online were diehards, and because of the anonymity they could and would say whatever they wanted to. Setsuna wasn't the kind of person to actually participate in any of the conversations, and he was sure it was because he disliked talking to people he didn't know. Anonymity or not people were still people to him, so therefore his interaction with them were always limited. To be one of the people the younger male was close to was a big deal, which was why Christina and Feldt came as such a shock to everyone. Of course the youngest would grow out of his caution nature eventually (they both would), but to see it so soon was the surprising thing.
Now the older male wasn't a genius, but it could easily be seen that the other had befriend the two because they shared a common interest. It was definitely a good start, and maybe somewhere down the line he'd make friends with people he had other things in common with. Setsuna was an interesting person with interesting talents, and it was a shame that it took someone he knew well to notice such a thing. There was so much potential in that small body of his, potential that could so easily be turned into something great.
He was holding himself back for some reason, focusing on things that probably didn't interest him but were considered 'important'. He was such a hard worker, but it could easily be seen that his passion was directed elsewhere. It was a shame that someone like him had to be forced into doing something so tedious, because Setsuna seemed like the kind of person that wasn't meant to be bound to a desk. There were other people like that out there, Lyle was sure of it, people that were not 'conventional' and did not associate well with normal standards. That was the kind of person the younger male was…he was so different that it seemed unreasonable to actually treat him the same as everyone else.
His talents needed to nurtured, but in order to do that the youngest needed to be willing to accept the fact he excelled at something other then school work. On several occasions the youngest had admitted that there was nothing he was particularly good at…other then studying. That was in no way true! For starters he was quite the chef, showing this skill everyday since he was the primary source of nourishment in his and his brother's apartments. When the two of them said they liked everything the younger male made, it wasn't some kind of bluff they told him to make him feel special…it was the truth.
Setsuna overanalyzed things, looking at everything and finding some kind of flaw when it wasn't required. He didn't really see things for what they were…just plain and simple. It probably had something to do with his complex character that made him see things in a deeper sense, but because both he and his brother had a simpler nature the world to them was seen in a different light. He'd witnessed Lockon on many occasions try explain what 'simplistic' meant to the other, and on those occasions witness the whole conversation completely go over the younger male's head. It didn't surprise him in the slightest that he didn't understand such a straightforward concept, since that too tied in with the complexity of his character as well as his past experiences.
On top of his wonderfully blessed fortune in the culinary field, he was also quite skilled when it came to the arts. The younger male had a fairly large notebook stashed in the back of his closet, one dedicated to just sketches. It was rather plain looking, just a spiral bound, sapphire book with the brand name written on the front. At first glance it was nothing special, and if one were to ever find it they'd simply set it aside as nothing but old school notes…something he was sure the younger male wanted others to think. But once the thin cover was cracked over, it could be assessed fairly quickly that it was no mere book. He himself had learned that the object was the very same one he'd given him three years ago, a last minute birthday gift the older male thought would not rub the other well.
Lyle was horrible with dates, and unless marked on a calendar events such as holidays or birthdays were completely forgotten. He didn't know why his mind wouldn't allow itself to learn a few simple (but important) dates. He was thankful when he received his cell phone upon entering high school, because it his was equipped with a special feature he knew his parents probably put a lot of thought into. All phones had a calendar feature, all phones allowed the user to write some kind of message under a specific date…but not every phone gave off an annoying sound three days before the actual event took place. It was incredibly helpful, but he actually needed to have the phone one for it to work. This was why he never turned it off…only doing so when he needed to charge it (which was often for obvious reasons).
It was surprising to know that Setsuna had managed to keep the thing for so long, but what was more surprising was the fact that he had managed to not fill it in all that time. In total there were one thousand pages in said notebook, and over the span of three years any normal person would've easily filled it. But the younger male was not normal. To actually catch him drawing was a feat itself, it wasn't as bad as trying to catch him really smile, but it was still difficult. But the evidence was clear that the notebook was being used, because he or his brother usually checked it at least once a week. The younger male really didn't care if they looked, since he had admitted so on quite a few occasions…yet he didn't allow them to actually see the process at all.
It wasn't that big of a deal, seeing that the outcome was quite rewarding even if they didn't know how he did it. Setsuna has two very distinct styles; the first was the more anime-ish, each character looking as if they belonged in one of the shows the younger male watched. Using his brother's terminology, he could easily call them 'sweet' though the youngest didn't like those kinds of comments. The second, and much more surprising, style was the more realistic and looked as if it was actually a photograph. He never drew humans when using this style, only sceneries that looked like he drew them from his balcony. They were extremely detailed; everything looked fairly accurate if compared to the real thing, but as always the younger male said that it was 'off' in some kind of way.
Since both he and Lockon were lacking in the art department, it could be said that they were easily impressed by things that looked interesting or captivating. But they knew what the youngest did was amazing…he put a lot of effort into what he did, and this could be seen in the meticulous details of whatever he drew. If it was a character he didn't just draw the figure, no, he drew front view, the side and back view. It didn't stop there…he went so far as to draw close up on the eyes, hands, important article of clothing and even sketched out different facial expressions.
For the sceneries there was always a few separately sketches out objects, for instance if there was a tree somewhere in the picture on the back of the page he drew the entire scene on would be a much more detailed view of said tree. That was another thing that probably contributed to the unfinished nature of the notebook, since the younger male had the habit of literally filling up both the front and back of each page. Setsuna was a special kid, and the only real shame was that he had not realized it.
Lyle watched as he removed his laptop from the closet, opening it and quickly turning it on. Because he wanted to see just what the other was going to find, the older male scooted over and sat next to him. He wasn't up to date with the latest anime and manga; this was why he always relied on the youngest to show him just what was considered 'new' or 'trendy'. Since the bookstore they usually went to was a well known business, their website was stocked full of the latest released and updated a few times a week. And since the one near them was located in the southern town, a placed filled with college students, discounts on school books were given to those who attended any of the institutions in the area.
It came in handy seeing that said school books usually cost and arm and a leg, since paying for at least five books, rent, and food cost added up to WAY too much for just the one person living on their own. The transition from living off of the weekly income of one's parents and taking a job to supports one's self was a big thing, but it was needed to live in the real world.
Out of his peripheral vision he couldn't help but noticed that the younger male's shirt was slightly lowered at the shoulder, exposing it ever so slightly. Of course he couldn't really focus on what was being looking up anymore, since the discovery of such a small exposure was going to drive him crazy if something was not done. It was just…there. He, much like his brother, had a mild fascination with catching a small glimpse of 'forbidden' skin on the other. It wasn't such a bad habit in the warmer months, since the younger male would wear thing that showed his body off just a bit. But when the winter months came…they were deprived of that and asking Setsuna to take his shirt off was not and probably would never be an option.
Since the youngest was wearing a long sleeve shirt because of the cold weather, having such a sight was somewhat of a rarity. His fingers twitched…Lyle wanted to touch him. He needed to…the older male knew form experience that if the other was focused on something else, he wouldn't react to being touched right away. So he slid behind him, hands beginning to shake as they positioned themselves around the younger male's waist. His body was warm, obviously, and it felt rather nice against his slightly chilled skin. There was a heating in the room, but for precaution sake he kept it so somewhat low (since his room was in no way clean and he didn't want to burn the complex down…). Because of this the room still felt cold, but not so cold that any normal person could not stand it.
Really they should've just moved into Lockon's room since it was warmer, but for some reason Setsuna refused to go over there when it was just the two of them. The reason why was left unknown to him, and no matter how many times he asked he received and odd look from the youngest. It wasn't anger in his face, nor was it confusion…so Lyle wasn't sure just what the younger male was trying to tell him. Dropping the subject seemed like a good idea, so that's what he did even though his mind was screaming 'ask him!'
But the slight chill didn't bother him now that he was close enough to the youngest, cheek gently pressed against his soft hair. This was the person his brother slept with ever night, the one very same one that he himself wanted to sleep in the same manor. Of course he slept over from time to time, and the two sometimes spent nights over at his place…but he wanted alone time. That consisted of having Setsuna all to himself, and having the younger male not act as he had just been dumped. He wanted him to act normally, to be the person he was use to when their friends were around. That wasn't asking for too much, was it?
"I love yo-" Lyle started, but the sound of the younger male's phone prevented him from finishing. It was clear that Setsuna was not paying it any mind, so the older male hesitantly slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled it out. Given the very brief noise it emitted, he knew that instead of an actual call he had received a text message. Flipping it open he found that it was from his brother, and its contents were sure to make the younger male come out of his trance.
"Setsuna," He started, "Lockon said he's coming home early."
As he expected he received instant reaction.
"Really?" He asked, attention now directed up at him. Lyle just gave him a small nod, which made the younger male look back at the screen. That was a little odd…he would've thought the younger male would've been a little more enthusiastic about his husband coming back early. It probably wouldn't be in his best interest to ask, so he kept his mouth shut. Looking over his shoulder he could see a list entitled 'new releases' on the screen, and to his surprise there wasn't much there. He knew which titles the younger male liked the read, and unless he was getting something new then Lyle knew what to expect.
Setsuna was given a weekly allowance by his parents, but he was told by Lockon that he was not allowed to use it to pay for their rent. It was something he wanted to take care of himself, and he didn't want his wife spending his money on 'serious thing' but rather on 'things for himself'. Lyle understood why that was, though it did seem a little unfair since it was limiting the amount of responsibility the younger male could've had. He was sixteen and though that did not mean he was old enough to actually be considered an 'adult', he was supposed to be given some responsibilities.
Granted he took care of the apartment by cleaning, cooking practically every night, and shopped for groceries…but that was just small stuff. Getting a job probably wasn't the best idea for the younger male at the moment since his people skills were…lacking in a few areas…maybe in a few years. However the older male felt that something like paying rent should've been shared between the two of them, and it was something he wanted to bring up to the two of them. He wasn't going to ask if the youngest could pay everything, just half since that seemed pretty fair to him. Lyle knew his brother didn't like to put too much stress on his wife, because it was obvious Setsuna had enough of that already. Though to not give him anything to do just seemed a like a little much.
When asked to let the youngest go, he did so, watching as he walked over to the closet probably to retrieve his jacket. Since that was the case the older male stretched a little, body affected by the cold that lingered in the air. Like his brother the weather attacked his body in extreme ways, Lockon becoming very sluggish and exhausted when it rained while he on the other hand became stiff and achy when it snowed. This, however, did not hinder his will to leave the complex with the younger male and having a semi-good time (he would still be in pain after all). They were getting out of the house on a Tuesday, a day where it was hard as hell to even get the younger male to speak, so of course he would downplay anything that was ailing him.
Getting up and stretching one more time, Lyle asked the younger male wanted to visit the café that was directly across the street from the bookstore. He'd only been there a few times, but the ambiance was extremely tranquil, making it a good place to have a cup of coffee or just relaxing. It was a small place, the outside looking as plain as it could, black lettering in window that held the name of the establishment as well as a propped sidewalk menu was all that would really tell anyone that it was actually a café at all. Plain was the best way to describe it, but just like the younger male there was a lot more beneath the surface then others would believe.
He remembered it very well…upon setting foot in the small café he was instantly greeted by three people, two maid and one butler. That told him right off the bat that there was something a little special about such a place, and once he was escorted through in and to his table he could see just how special it was. The exterior did the interior no justice; it wasn't brightly lit, the dim ceiling lights and the sun that shined from the numerous windows did most of the work instead of blinding bright florescent lighting. If there was one thing he hated it was practically being blinded when walking into some place new, because it always took him by surprise and always caused his eyes to strain. But that wasn't the case with the tiny café called Bimyou.
And that really was the best way to describe the place…delicate and subtle. Once he was physically seated, the first thing the older male noticed was that every table was a booth and on the tables was placed a small scented candle placed directly in the center. It was a…faint small, neither overpowering the area nor going unnoticed. The scent was…seasonal, because it smelled the same as the flowers he'd spent so much time around (it was summer at the time, so he knew what was in season). The menus, which sat in front of him, didn't have as much variety as other café…but maybe that was a good thing. Variety was a good thing, but something that got in the way of perfection. The more one added to a menu meant less attention would be given to it, but less items meant more time to perfect a dish…he learned that Setsuna.
Since the youngest was not a social person, the mere suggestion that he visit some place he'd never gone before would send him rethinking things. So Lyle wholeheartedly thought the younger male would decline, so he just decided that the two of them would only take a quick trip to the bookstore then come right back home. It was just the kind of person he was, and there was probably no changing-
"I don't mind if we do…"
Well…that was unexpected…and if he had not been aware that he was conscious he would've thought he was stuck in some odd dream. To be honest the older male couldn't help but give the other a slight look, one of pure bewilderment and surprise because he felt completely blindsided by what the youngest had just said. Setsuna was acting slightly out of character…and the older male wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad thing. But now that Lyle thought about it there was something different about him, something that deviated from how he had been acting over the last few months.
He wasn't cold, still blunt, but not cold to the point where he would snap and yell insults to people. He still looked tired, but didn't look as if he would fall over and pass out. All in all he seemed pretty normal…with a little something extra added. The older male didn't mind this, though he still wanted to figure out just why it had come in the first place. Not wanting to spoil the strangely good mood that had filled the air, he merely gave him a small 'alright'.
So…they would be deviating from the usual 'going only to the bookstore', and really that was something that did not happen at all. The first thing that came to his mind was that they would finally be going on a date…something two of them rarely did. When they usually went out it would be the three of them (the younger male, his brother and him of course), and it was a little awkward trying to do anything with Setsuna since his brother was already doing it. It was flawless…the way he touched his wife without hesitation, kissed him as if not one was looking, and spoke to him as if he didn't mind whoever overheard him. Confidence was something Lyle knew he lacked, and it was why he envied his brother to no end.
Lockon didn't worry about the thoughts of others, didn't care who looked at him with disapproving eyes, only that he was there with his wife. He and his brother were two different people, but there was only one thing he wished the two of the shared…self-confidence. Lyle couldn't bring himself to do the same thing his brother did half the time, and when actually attempted his nerves would always get the better of him. The older male knew someone was looking at the two of them, eyes filled with spite because…well he wasn't sure.
However as they existed the room, he did managed to at the very least hold the other's hand. Since it was not gloved, the older male could feel the heat coming off of it. But he knew that the heat from that hand of his would slowly start to leave him as soon as they set foot outside, so it was up to him to make sure some warmth was retained. Setsuna might've liked the colder months, but he had one big weakness; because of his constant exposure to the cold air, it was fairly easily for him to get himself sick. Every year at least once a week during those frigid times he'd spend most of it in bed, temperature elevated, cold compress on his forehead, and looking horrible. He hated seeing in his sure a state, but there was one slight upside to it all.
Both he and his brother had found that there were two different types of 'sick Setsuna'; the first, and most desired, was the innocent one, where the younger male would act so completely vulnerable that it was hard to resist falling for his charm. He was gentle, allowed himself to be touched without the usual 'get your hands off of me' or 'stop touching me'. If anything he wanted to be touched, but not for pleasure…he was cold, there was nothing more to it. Or rather he 'felt' cold, his body itself feeling fairly warm to the touch, so he thought he needed a secondary heat source. But even with knowing that…he enjoyed how close he was to the other, how he clung to him as if his life depended on it. It was a pitiful and sad sight, Lyle knew, but he was willing to stay with him until he returned to his normal self.
And then there was the other sick Setsuna…the evil one. Just why this side of him came out was unknown, but both the older male and his brother (and anyone who decided to visit) knew that dealing with it was sheer hell. The younger male was resistant to everything, neither wanting help nor anyone to be around him in the slightest. That was a hard task seeing that he still needed attention since he was, well, sick after all. But giving him that attention was truly a hassle…he would do everything in his weakened state keep people distant, be it by growling or physical harm (or at least he tried to).
The worst part of the youngest getting sick was that there was no telling just which side would come out; it wasn't like every other time he became sick he would revert to one or the other, oh no, it wasn't that easy. There wasn't a pattern, some kind of warning system that made it self known the day before…all they could do was wait. If they were asked to come closer they knew who they were dealing it and what to do, if they were told to back off it was clear that the week was not going to be a pleasant one.
There were so many layers to the younger male, and even though he had known him for quite a few years, there was still more to discover about his brother's wife. Perhaps that was another reason he felt attached to him…everything wasn't placed on the surface, and a little more digging was necessary to uncover it all. The older male didn't mind this at all, since it meant he'd have to spend more time with him.
Upon stepping outside of the apartment complex the cold air hit him hard, but he choose to ignore it so he did not worry the younger male. It wasn't hard to tell that Setsuna cared deeply for the ones close to him, even if his usual demeanor didn't allow it to show. Given his past of course he would want to hold on to people he finally considered 'friends' or 'significant others', and the older male was amazed he had made it all the way to age ten without having someone close to him. Isolation was never a good thing, seeing that he himself had dabbled in it, but the isolation the youngest had done to himself was…insane.
Humans needed interaction with others, needed to be physical with another, needed to experience something called a 'bond'…but yet Setsuna had neglected to experience any of that until he was ten years old. He was lucky enough to actually move to a place where people wanted him around, and that did beg the question…what would've happened if he didn't come to the village? What the isolation had lasted longer? There was not telling just how he would've turned out, but he was a sure thing that his behavior and attitude would not have been as they currently were. It was probably wrong of him to think about such thing, his mind telling him to focus on the positive and less on the negative…but someone needed to. He couldn't be positive all the time, because, well…it was unreasonable.
The walk to any place in the southern town was never long, and that was because he and his brother had actually put thought into where they wanted to live. Many factors went into picking an apartment, and low rent and utilities weren't the only ones. Distance from desired location was big one, because given their late nature traveling across town just to get to their school was ridiculous. Another, and probably the most important, factor was convenience. Sacrificing utilities for convenience wasn't that big of a deal to him, because they had a grocery store, bath house, bookstore, various entertainment spots, and their school all within walking distance. Not having a bathtub or much space did take some getting use to, but it was something they adjusted to it nonetheless.
"If you want, I could get us a table while you buy your books." Lyle said, needed to killing the silence that was lying heavy in the chilled air.
"Alright, I won't take long then."
"I don't wanna rush you-"
"It's fine, really." The youngest said, tone suggesting that going against him wasn't the greatest of ideas. There it was again…an action that seemed so different from his past, and Lyle once again had to ask himself just how such a change had come about. It wasn't a major change, but it was just different from what he was use to. But as always the older male kept his thoughts to himself, merely saying that he'd see the other in when he finally ventured to the café. Upon parting ways he couldn't help but slow down a little, taking a quick glance over his shoulder at the fleeing younger male.
From where he stood the younger male even looked different, like something new had taken over his entire being. He seemed…lighter, like a load had been lifted off of him and replaced with something far less of a burden. It was strange, but something very welcome; the youngest was always so tense, never showing signs of relaxation even when the situation was as stress-free as possible. His mind was always packed with some kind of doubt, and it was clearly written on his face at all times. But now that look was not present as he watched Setsuna leave, watched his somewhat care-free face walk in the direction of the bookstore he loved so much.
What had gone on last week? Or better yet…what had gone on over the last few months? The irritation for not knowing was overshadowed by the fact that something far greater then his own feelings mattered at the moment, and that was the change the younger male was undoubtedly going through. That mattered more then anything else. A small smile creped across his face; after knowing someone for a number of year, it was quite interesting to see them in a new light…the person they'd built up over the years being altered to the point where it amazed everyone. But it was Setsuna after all…so that mean that just because there was change did not mean all of it would happen at once. Time was always a major factor when it came to the younger male, so a quick switch was not something anyone should or would expect.
However…Lyle was more then happy to watch him progress.
Walking into the café he was greeted much like he was the first time he set foot in the small establishment, a loud 'welcome!' was given to him by the three people who bowed deeply. The older male asked for a table for two, adding that the person would be joining him sometime soon. After giving a quick description of the person who would be joining him (dark hair, short, wearing a red scarf, holding a bag from the bookstore), he was escorted to his table. The space seemed particularly special to him today, and the fact that it looked decorated for the upcoming holidays added to the feel. It would be the first time he had been to the café with someone else, and that someone just happened to be the person he felt strongly for. It would be a nice date.
In the past he couldn't even fathom such a word, finding it too embarrassing because alone time with someone not blood related to him was something his nerves never got use to. When he was younger having Setsuna be alone with him was torture, because he could not for the life of him figure out what he wanted to say. He could never form a proper sentence, words always getting caught in his throat and refused to remove themselves. He was so infatuated with the younger male that just speaking to him was a hassle, but luckily that part of him was no longer (well…he still had issues from time to time).
The older male's attention was drawn to the small candle placed in the middle of table, it glimmering dimly and filling the air around him with its sweet scent. Pine, he was sure that's what it was, and that only further fueled his anticipation for the events to come. Holidays were always a big deal for him, because it was one of the only times he found enough courage to actually do something extra nice for Setsuna. It wasn't like he couldn't go out of his way on any normal day, but his body just refused to…and he knew why. Giving a gift was much easier if it was expected, because it prompted fewer questions then if he had presented the younger male a gift on a random day. There was nothing worse then being put on trial for doing something nice, though it wasn't really fair to say that the youngest didn't have a right to be suspicious.
His brother, as always, was the one that usually gave gifts randomly, so things like that were expected. But Lyle didn't commit such acts…even if he so desperately wanted to. If he actually did want to randomly buy the younger male something, his mind would freeze up. Everything he knew about the other would just fly out the window, his likes, dislikes, everything. Panic away began to set in, because he didn't know if the younger male would be pleased with his gift…so he just gave up. But when holidays (or birthdays) rolled around everything just flowed, he didn't panic nor did he stress out. During those times he thought about absurd his behavior had been in the past, since he himself always knew what the younger male like because of his simplistic needs.
Eat, sleep, and work was what he basically put out there was his only 'needs', but he was holding something back. He was all about what needed to be done and not want he wanted, and it was damn clean what he needed…to be pleased. Setsuna required the attention of others; it wasn't hard to tell since he always enjoyed being around the people he held a bond with, and especially enjoyed it when he was given extra attention by both him and his brother. It was amusing at best when the youngest would deny his gratification in such a situation, because the deep scarlet hue across his face always gave him away in the end.
Of course in the beginning he'd be uncomfortable with being touched, however after six years Lyle was sure the younger male was just trying to save that poker face of his. Gently placing his elbow on the table, hand propping his head up as he gazed out of the window next to him, the older male began to think about just where his relationship was headed. Yes the youngest was in love with him, but he was also in love with his brother…and it really couldn't be that way forever, could it? The three of them were young, emotions ran one's mind so of course they would be all over the place, indecisive and fickleness came with the territory. But when everything settled, emotions no longer getting the better of him…where would he stand?
What if one of them was left out to dry?
Without looking away he could hear the waitress ask if he wanted anything, and with no real thought behind it he mutter 'green tea'. Before he heard the very noticeable footsteps of the waitress leave, he added that a healthy dose of honey would be greatly appreciated. Truth be told he hated green tea, since he found it bland and nothing more then fowl tasking water. However is something was added, be it milk or honey, it just made it taste a whole lot better. Of course it would've been easier just order something else, but his mind obviously wasn't in the right place. It wondered right back to the topic of being forgotten, if he'd been the one to be treated more like a 'friend' then a lover. He did love the younger male, so much so that he would be devastated if anything happened to cost them their relationship.
He did love Setsuna, even if it wasn't the same strong bond that his brother had, he still loved him. Of course the younger male wasn't the kind of person to toy around with people, leading them on until he just dropped them without a second thought. No, he was not that kind of person…he was thoughtful and always took the feelings of others very seriously. Though his blunt nature made it seem like he just said whatever he wanted to, there was actual thought behind it. So if he was going to dump someone in the near future, he would not only consider both sides of the story…but it would hurt him more then anything else.
The younger male was…such a fragile creature. His world, the one so different then the vastly distorted one he saw years ago, would come down if anything disrupted his connections. Lyle didn't want that, but if the youngest decided to dump someone he knew it would be hard on everyone. If anything the older male knew that he wanted his brother to stay with his wife, though to be fair the decision needed to be made or at least agreed upon my ALL three of them.
Complicated was the best way to categorize his thoughts, but maybe he was just blowing things way out of proportion. He'd come to the realization that he had a habit of doing so, taking simple things and warping them into fabricated facts. Lyle just needed to calm down and focus on the present, live in the moment and enjoy the fact that he was with the younger male at all. Yes the future looked bleak to him, but that didn't need to matter…But it would be hard to break such habits, because, hell, he'd been trying for years. He didn't want to think horribly of his future, especially when it involved leaving the younger male. They would be together soon, so he tried to refocus his mind on that.
Lyle sighed a little, gently picking up his newly delivered warm tea and placing the rim of the ceramic cup to his lips. Of course it was the old style Japanese tea cup, the one that lacked both a handle and a small stature. The usual way of holding it was to place one hand on its side and the other on the base, neither of which felt scolding hot due to the insulation on the inside. The cups were either solidly colored or decorated with simplistic illustrations, but both were given a thick layer of glaze which made it glimmer in any kind of light. Autumn levees danced rhythmically around the smooth surface, shades of deep ginger and scarlet circled around the fragile piece and stuck out perfectly amongst the teal background.
It was a beautiful piece, though he only noticed this briefly as his mind wondered back to the younger male. And how could he not…from where he sat he was in clear view of the bookstore, and he watched it intently because he was not sure just when Setsuna would emerge. Would he break his usually meticulous book buying ritual just for him? It seemed completely possible, though for him to do such a thing meant…well a lot to older male. He would be breaking his habit just for him, just this once, so the two of them could have some quality time together. That had to say something about him.
Time was not something he was giving much mind, but he did know that not too much had passed before he saw the familiar figure of the youngest emerge from the doorway…with other people. Upon closer inspection Lyle could see that it was none other then (who else) Christina and Feldt. He watched their interactions closely, because honestly it would be the first time he'd seen all three of them together. He had met the two girls on different occasions, Christina at the culture festival and Feldt at the concert the following weekend. The girl was quite musically inclined, playing both the piano and the violin with such ease. She made it look flawless, though he knew from experience that leaning or mastering and kind of instrument was a hassle in itself.
During his younger years when he still attended school in the village, everyone was required to play the recorder. Everyone learned the same song, but everyone was also given bonus points if they managed to learn a melody from the songbook they were given that was considered 'challenging'. Hell, for him just playing the required song was difficult, and thankfully he wasn't the only one. Hallelujah sounded horrible whenever he played, making the poor piece of wood emit such a high pitch squeak that caused everyone to cover their ears in pain. Lockon could somewhat play…when he wasn't trying to hum through the thing instead of blowing.
He tried telling his brother that 'humming' and 'playing' were two different thing…though it just never took. Setsuna and Tieria did know how to carry a tune, but stumbled over notes ever so often. The 'younger' Haptism was pretty much in the same boat as the younger males, but there was one difference; his mistakes weren't noticeable, and it took quite the ear to notice them. Outside of school the second youngest was the only one to actually play an instrument, and it was basically because, well, they weren't good at it.
As they begin to go their separate ways, Lyle couldn't help but let his eyes follow the two girls leaving instead of the younger male heading his way. Christina seemed attached to the other girl, arms wrapped loosely around her neck as they walked away. The shorter female looked as if she was bored, paying no mind to what her comrade as the rather bored look on her face made itself very clear. Studying their body language a little more closely (but not too closely), he felt a small chuckle leave him; how funny…he really thought there weren't many people in the world like his brother or the youngest, but had just been proven wrong by the sight in front of him. He had to wonder if Setsuna had taken notice at all…
Taking another quick sip of his tea, he found that he had lost sight of the younger male. That either meant he was nearing the café or had already set foot inside, both option basically meaning that there was only a matter of time before their date would truly be in full swing. With that thought now implanted into his mind, he nerves began to set in…just great. Lyle knew he needed to get himself together, because he was not going to fill the air with his awkwardness. Instead of actually enjoying his overly sweetened drink he chugged it, hoping it would attract the attention of the waitress and give him someone to talk to before Setsuna actually came. But he had no such luck. It also didn't help that he had no clue what the woman looked like seeing that he was too lost in his own thoughts, so it wasn't like he could quickly flag her down before the youngest made it to the table.
So there he was…panic stricken nerves causing his left foot to tap, which was surprisingly giving a beat to the many 'oh god's he was repeating in his head over and over again. It was just Setsuna, not someone he was meeting for the first time on a blind-date. The older male knew this person, knew what they were like, knew their likes and dislikes, and above all else he knew the younger male would immediately sense his anxiety. If he did not calm himself, or at least get himself to a point where nothing was outwardly noticeable, he'd only be hurting the enjoyment he was supposed to experience when with the younger male. Placing his head down he tried to think pleasant things, ones that did not involve the youngest…but that was a task in itself seeing that all of his pleasant memories revolved around Setsuna in someway.
Yeah…he really did make him happy, and that thought perked him up. Setsuna always made him feel better even if he didn't speak and just sat, the mere presence of him was enough. But why wasn't that enough to rid himself of his edginess? Maybe he thought the younger male was too good for him…that he himself was not worth of even being in the same room was him. That could not have been the case…could it? The youngest loved him just as much as he loved his brother, so why would those thoughts even be present? Was he really that insecure? Great…whatever happy feeling he had was now as lost as his thoughts. Thinking straight was out of the question, his mind now filled with so much doubt that it was driving him crazy. He was a wreck. Upon feeling a hand on his shoulder, Lyle couldn't help but jump which apparently startled the person in question.
"Sorry…" Came Setsuna's small voice, looking as slightly taken aback. The older male quickly apologized, calling his actions uncalled for and ridiculous. The youngest gave him an odd look, but just shook his head and sat across from him.
"S-So, um…" Lyle started, trying his best to start up some kind of conversation, "W-What'd you buy?"
That was a simple enough question, one that would in no way take up the time they wished to stay. But regardless he watched as a plastic bag was handed up ever so slightly, it looking neither heavy nor full like it usually did. The youngest began to explain that he didn't feel like buying all the books that had been released that month, adding that he only picked the titles he wanted the most and wanted to save his money for something else. When questioned just what that something else was the older male was given a blank stare, which told him that it would probably be in his best interest to move on.
"Are you, um, excited that Lockon is-"
"I don't wanna talk about him right now…" Setsuna interrupted, directing his attention out the window. That was strange…usually the younger male didn't verbally object to any topic, instead just ignoring whatever was being said. But the surprising part of it all was the fact that the youngest had no desired to speak about his husband…Did this have something to do with his new found behavior? Or could it have been that the two had gotten into some sort of altercation that resulted in both having hurt feelings? Of course their relationship wasn't perfect, and arguments were a given…even if Lockon himself did such a poor job at it.
It wasn't so much that his bickering skills weren't up to par with his wife's; it was more that he would just let everything go before he could even give his own say, letting the younger male off the hook way too easily. It was a pitiful thing to watch, since he knew that his brother was well capable of putting up a reasonable and believable argument. Just because Setsuna was his wife, and he loved him unconditionally, did not mean he needed 'special' treatment all the time. Of course there were times when the youngest didn't want to be bothered with human interaction and would shun anyone near him, but there were times when the younger male needed to listen.
Lyle began to ask if Setsuna in any way had any ill feelings towards his brother, but before he could even finish his sentence he was told to stop. His attention was still directed out the window, but it was clear that he wanted to say something.
"We're not fighting…It's just…" The youngest started, taking a deep breath and he did so, "When I'm with him I wanna be with him, when I'm with you I wanna be with you…"
The older male looked at from for a moment, feeling slightly astonish for some reason. Never had Setsuna openly admitted that he wanted to be with anyone, even if it was painfully obvious to those who knew him. It just wasn't in his nature to admit something like that, because it clearly made him feel far too awkward. For him to love someone outside of his own family was a big thing, without a doubt it was, because if one had never loved anything in the past it was a real shock…Lyle knew this from experience. At first the awkward feeling was strong, leading to moments one wished didn't take placed at all. But over time that feeling would diminish, leaving only the fact that someone loved another. For the youngest it would probably take a little longer then most, but that wasn't a problem at all.
What Setsuna had said made sense, and the older male couldn't help but kick himself for not realizing it sooner. When the youngest was with him or his brother for that matter, he was there, in the moment. Being with the two of them was a completely different topic, since he tried to spend a decent amount of time with both him and his brother so no one would feel left out. But when Lockon wasn't around, when it was just the two of them the younger male stayed as close to him as possible. He just thought that because his brother wasn't around Setsuna wanted to be near the person that looked just like him, one of the many reasons he hated being a twin. However…that small statement began changed his thinking. Of course he spoke the true, since the youngest had never once joked about his relationships.
A sharp pain hit his chest rather quickly, the realization that what he usually did when the two of them were alone probably didn't rub him the right way. Someway or another Lyle always managed to bring his brother into the conversation, be it in general small talk or comparing himself to him. He was sure Setsuna hated it when he compared himself to Lockon, but for some reason he just couldn't help it. Yes, they were different people…but there were times when he thought the younger male liked his brother more because he was nothing like him. It was a horrible thing to even fathom, but yet he had.
Being proven wrong was the second best thing that happened to him that afternoon. It was amazing how well the other male could enlighten him, and at the same time act as if he had said nothing profound. He was a strange kid…doing so much without actually knowing it. As he was about to open his mouth and comment, the younger male's attention was directed to the waitress that was now standing near the table. She nodded after receiving his order of hot chocolate milk, retreating to the back of the café where the kitchen was located so they could fill it.
"Don't say anything…" The youngest muttered, looking dead at the other male.
"About wha-"
"About what I ordered."
Well he wasn't, but now that he brought it up…no, he'd let him go this time. The older male merely nodded, adding that he wouldn't say a word since he knew how sensitive the youngest was about his height (thought he didn't add the last part). He was short even for his age, and hell, Christen, who was one year younger then him, was taller! He'd probably be that way forever unless he had a major growth spurt…which probably wouldn't happen given his genes. Setsuna's mother wasn't all that tall, and though his father had some height to him it was not above average. So technically speaking if their son followed them he would not get anywhere near his husband's height, or for that matter anyone he hung around. Though the older male didn't mind this at all; Setsuna's height didn't bother him, and if anything it just made him…what was that word his Lockon always used around him? Cute? Yeah, that was it…cute.
The youngest once again directed his attention out the window, and Lyle briefly wondered what kind of world he saw through those eyes of his. It was different then someone with a normal view, he was sure, but just how different was the question he wanted to ask. After so many years of being treated differently, then suddenly being treated like someone else…just how did he see people? Hesitantly he slid his hand across the table, taking the younger males and holding it gently. There was a strange stillness in the air once he'd done so, as if nothing was moving and the two of them were the only ones in the café. It took a few moments for the younger male to actually look over at him, but their eyes never met. Today was a day of strange actions on his part, and hell, why not return the favor.
But before he could do anything he noticed the younger male's eyes fill with a sudden sadness as he focused on their hands, as if he'd realized something he shouldn't have. Why were his thought filled with so much angst…? Lyle hated that look…because he felt so at a loss when as to how to make it leave. What could he say? Better yet, what could he say that wouldn't sound like a blatant attempt to make himself feel better. He didn't want Setsuna thinking that he was spouting out nonsense, things he couldn't relate to because they were merely a ploy to make him feel better.
So what could the younger male say? What could reach him deep down that would make sense? Digging deep Lyle tried to think of something he could say to the younger male, even if it was simple and to the point. But…Lockon was better at doing that kind of thing. Taking complicated situation and spinning them so that they were in their simplest form was his specialty, always seeing that there was something positive about every situation. However…bringing his brother into the situation where he was not involved was not going to help. He was with the younger male at the moment, so he needed to think for himself…and that's when in finally came it him.
"Yukkuri…shiteitte ne…" He muttered, earning him a slightly look from the other.
"…Take it easy…?"
It was a common saying, and really it did speak volumes about how the people of Osaka went about their daily lives. He wanted Setsuna to slow down, hell, everyone wanted him to because they didn't want him to turn into a workaholic. That could have disastrous consequences…what if he worked so hard to the point where his thoughts could no longer be trusted? What if he did something that cost him his life? The older male would never be able to forgive himself if something like that happened…
The warmth of the other's hand left him, but only briefly, as the younger male arose from his spot across from him. He didn't need to ask just what he was doing, since the trip he made was short and to the point. Sitting down next to him, the he noticed a tense feeling begin to fill the atmosphere around them…and with good reason. Setsuna was leaning against him…in public…so of course the tenseness was coming from the both of them. Public displays of affection were not something they excelled at, but from time to time moments like this would occur…moments when the two of them would throw their cautions to the wind (somewhat) and just be together…even if they weren't sitting that close.
"….I…don't know if I can…" The younger male muttered, sounded genuinely unsure of himself. God, the poor kid really was in bad shape…to not know how to relax was a serious problem, one that needed to be eliminated completely.
"Don't worry…" Lyle started, "I'll help you."
Another silence followed that statement, but it did not last as long as the other. The older male felt a hand slowly make itself know as it gently gripped the side of his shirt, a motion he and his brother knew every well. When the younger male wanted to be physical, but could not bring himself to actually commit the act he would latch onto some article of clothing (usually the shirt). It was like…a young child trying to get the attention of another, timidly taking a hold of their shirt and waiting for their attention. Setsuna wanted something to be done to him, wanted attention from the person he held dear in a time of distress.
And since it was indeed a time of distress…Lyle would definitely give him that attention. Reaching up he gently placed his hand on the crown of the younger male's head, leaving it stationary as the other looked up at him. He was so innocent…and that fact was proven time and time again. The older male wanted to kiss him, but knew that since they were in public it would only piss Setsuna off. Seeing that they were in such a nice café, it would've been a shame to be kicked out for making a scene. So the older male kept his lips to himself, feeling slightly disappointed with his holding back.
But hey…that's why they had an apartment.
"Lyle, get those perverted thoughts out of your head…"
How sharp he was…