A/N Lots of updates today! Was really following my muse, I suppose. Be sure you start with chapter 12. And this is not the end of the story, okay?

Would love to hear your comments. xoxo

The man kept talking, but it was like Tara was deaf. All she could hear was a high-pitched ringing in her ears, nothing else. Her mouth was slightly open and she stopped consciously breathing. She walked away while he was still speaking, and as she moved down the hallway he stared at her turned back, more curious than offended.

She looked like a ghost. Her eyes began to water, not from tears but because she wasn't blinking. She mindlessly moved down the stairs, barely aware of the people hastily brushing past her.

She eventually walked outside, going out the back entrance. She stood on a ledge where a couple of dumpsters sat close by, her eyes glazed over, blood pulsing in her ears. No one was around, but students were out in the distance walking along a sidewalk near a main road.

Tara swallowed and reached inside her pocket for her phone. Her hands were shaking so vigorously that it was hard for her to control her movements. Her fingers eventually reached the right number, and she feebly pressed her thumb to the green button.

She slowly brought the phone up to her ear, trying to stand steady as her knees trembled.

Pam was sitting in her office organizing papers when she heard a vibration coming from inside of her purse. She reached over and unzipped it, grabbing her phone and briefly glancing at the screen. Her lips parted when she saw it. And after the initial moment of shock, she smiled in anticipation and held the phone against her ear.

"Hi!" Pam exclaimed, beaming. Her eyes sparkled and her heart began to race, thrilled at the prospect of talking Tara for the first time after they had separated so many months ago.

But nothing happened. There was only silence on the other end. Pam waited and waited, and eventually she heard a sniffle.

"Tara?" she asked, wrinkling her brow. "Are you there?"

Tara heard Pam's sweet, caring, wonderful voice, something she hadn't heard in so long, something she had only been hearing in her dreams, and her legs buckled as she collapsed onto her knees.

She began to weep, and Pam's smile immediately faded from her face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked with heavy concern.

Tara began to hyperventilate as tears started to stream down her face.

"Tara," Pam said in a panic, hearing her jagged breathing and her whimpers. "Please talk to me. What happened? Are you okay?"

Tara tried to speak, but couldn't. She kept sobbing, pressing her quivering lips together as she gazed out into the distance.

"Tara," Pam pressed. "I need you to tell me what's wrong."

Tara sucked in a deep breath and wiped her eyes with her palm.

"Y-you're not here," she blubbered. Her face crumpled and she shook her head. "You're not here," she cried.

"I know," Pam replied soothingly, thinking Tara was still home in Louisiana missing her. She found it a bit odd to finally be hearing from her after all this time, but she didn't dwell on it.

"Take a deep breath," Pam urged calmly.

Tara shook her head forcefully. "Y-you left," she cried. "You're not h-here."

She kept repeating those two phrases over and over again as she bawled, trying to stop her body from shaking. Pam had no idea what to do. She swallowed and waited patiently, although it shattered her heart to hear Tara like this.

"I came b-back and you're not, not h-here," Tara cried. "Why didn't you tell me?!" she demanded.

Pam's eyes suddenly widened. "You came ba... Where are you?" she asked urgently.

Tara tilted her head up to look at the sky as more tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I-I…to your o-office," she blubbered. "H-he said you... gone."

Pam covered her mouth with her hand. "Oh my God…" she breathed.

"You're n-not here," Tara wept. "YOU'RE NOT HERE!" she suddenly screamed.

Pam's head was reeling. Now she understood.

"Tara… I'm so sorry. I didn't know! You didn't tell me- I thought... I thought you were never coming back. You... you never reached out to me; I didn't think you wanted to, to talk to me anymore…" She spoke rapidly, desperate to justify, desperate to explain.

Tara crumpled further into the ground, sitting with her shoulders slouched now. Her nose was running freely and tears were dripping off her chin onto the concrete.

"Tara, I'm so sorry," Pam pressed. "I didn't know. I… I just realized that I wasn't happy there. I got into a... huge fight with my family, I wasn't enjoying my classes anymore, and I missed you, so, so much. You helped me see that it, it just didn't make sense for me to stay anymore. The school was so upset with me, they still are, but that doesn't matter."

Pam paused for a moment, hearing that Tara was still sobbing. Her eyes scanned the room rapidly as she continued to search for the right words.

"Remember... remember you told me... you said I have a right to be happy? I listened! I stopped sitting around, I started... going after what I want. You were right! And I wanted to tell you, I really did. I… I was so lucky. I'm... I'm back at Pomona again… I couldn't believe there was a position open. I was so ready to, I don't even know, go somewhere completely new. I didn't know if I'd ever find another position as a professor, considering I left the last job so poorly. But, today is my first day of classes here! And…"

Pam trailed off. Now was not the time. She was trying to make her feel better, but all she was doing was rubbing it in, crushing Tara more.

"I miss you every day," Pam vowed sincerely, pressing her free hand against her chest. "I think about you all the time."

Tara kept crying. None of this was helpful. She couldn't believe this was happening. She looked back on her summer, the goddamn hell she went through to get here. She looked ahead, to what this school year would be like without Pam.

"Tara," Pam pleaded. "Please say something. I'm so sorry. Please talk to me."

Tara shook her head again as a choked moan escaped her lips. She wiped her nose with the back of her wrist and blew out a shaky breath through her mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut as she lowered her hand, dropping the phone to the ground. She couldn't bear it anymore.

The call wasn't disconnected, but Pam realized what had happened.

It killed her, but she eventually hung up. She had never felt so guilty before in her life.

XXX

She called Tara the next day. No answer.

She tried again. She called every day for two weeks. She left a voicemail every time, always apologizing profusely, always begging Tara to call her back so that they could talk.

But Tara never did. She wouldn't pick up, and she never called back. Maybe it was because she felt like too big a fool. Maybe because she was too devastated, too heart-broken. Maybe because she was angry.

Pam eventually stopped calling. She yearned for the day that Tara would finally reach out to her. But she never did.

So Pam had to move on with her life. And Tara eventually did as well.

They lost touch.