This may require some editing…I rushed to add this chapter…
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Rafe sat on the side of the bed with Emma, and they took turns holding Olivia's hand. As they did this, Olivia's friends began to show up at the hospital and were informed of what was happening. Upon Frank's request, Phillip stopped by the room and asked Emma to come into the hall so that Rafe might have a few minutes alone with the woman on the bed.
At first Rafe just sat quietly, tearing up, not knowing what to say to her. He thought of his own mother and how it would feel to be sitting in front of her. He felt an overwhelming urge to die right there, himself. Picturing his own mother on life support made tears roll down his cheeks, but using his tee shirt, he mopped them up, sniffling as he did. "What would his mother do or say at moment like this?" he wondered. His mother was a saint, it seemed, and she would always do what was right. This thought of her made him reach for Olivia's hand and gently hold it in his own. He moved closer to her and spoke quietly so that only she could hear him.
"Olivia. Olivia, it's Rafe. Please forgive me. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't mean for you to…I wanted to hurt you because I didn't want you to be with my mother, but Olivia, I was wrong. There's nothing more in this world that I would like now than for you to get well and return to my mother, to my mom and to Emma and to Ava. I behaved terribly, and I see now what you meant to her." The heart monitor jumped a few beats indicating that her pulse had risen. Rafe continued, seeing this as an incentive. "Please forgive me. I don't want you to die. I didn't mean what I said. At times I get so angry! Nothing in my life has ever seemed to work out the way I want, and I took out all of my frustration on you. Please don't leave your little girl. Please. Please come back. My Ma needs you," and then he began to cry like a little boy.
He leaned his head on her hand and tears rolled from his cheeks to her fingers. As he cried, her pulse on the monitor began to quicken again, beeping slightly faster, and her fingers began to twitch a little, causing Rafe to lift his head and look at her face. Olivia's head had tilted in his direction, and he could see that she was struggling to open her eyes. For a brief moment, their eyes locked, hers green and his brown. No words were needed to understand the exchange between the two; the young man knew she had forgiven him. Tears flowed more as he squeezed her hand and encouraged her to get better.
"Olivia! Olivia! Stay with us! Keep your eyes open! She's awake! She's awake! She's awake!" he shouted.
The commotion he stirred caused the family outside to quickly enter the room. Ava had just arrived and was still hugging her little sister when she heard his shouting. She ran to the bedside, still grasping the little girl's hand and asked Rafe what was going on. Emma, feeling a new surge of hope, rushed to her mother's side and reclaimed her hand.
A nurse entered and began to check the monitor, also asking what had happened.
Rafe told them that Olivia's eyes had opened, her head had moved and her fingers twitched, but as they all looked at the woman on the bed, they saw that she was once again lying unanimated and unconscious with her eyes closed. Her pulse was the steady, slow beep that registered on the monitor.
"The doctor," Ava began, tears running down her face, "just told us outside that she may never recover from this heart trauma." Her grief weighed on Rafe, and he pulled her in for a hug.
"I'm sorry," he said to her, "but I still have a feeling in my chest like she's going to pull through. I feel this hope. I just wish everyone else could feel it."
The smallest child jumped up and down frustrated by hearing contrasting things. She had just been told that her mother was going to sleep forever, like sleeping beauty, but she also was told that sometimes people pull through these things and recover because they have the will. They fight to live. She had depicted in her mind, a handsome prince arriving, kissing her mother, and causing her to heal from her ailments. Her world experience by the age of nine was tied to Disney movies featuring little princesses with happy endings and that's what she was expecting. She was told that Natalia was on her way home and in her mind, the fairy tale was about to reach it's climax. "She's got to live! She's got to live!" she exclaimed.
Rafe's exciting moment caused the three of them to sit with Olivia, holding vigil for hours. They waited, hopeful of more indications that Olivia was going to live, and anticipating Natalia's arrival at the hospital. It seemed like long ago since Olivia had been first brought to the hospital and the doctors and nursing staff had assured them that these things took lots of time. The heart was a difficult organ to heal and her heart might not be strong enough to heal. Each of her children, including Rafe, who was accepted as one of the children, took turns by the bedside, not wanting to leave, holding her hand, and wanting to be present when Olivia woke.
"There's something about hope," Doris said in the next room, "that allows us to endure the most difficult days of our lives."
Frank agreed. "She's lucky to have so many people care for her. I hope she is aware of everyone in that room and that so many people love her. If only love could give her a reason to live."
Reva joined them, thinking they were discussing Olivia's prognosis. When she was told about the most recent EKG results, she gasped. "Only love can save the world," she said, "hold close the ones that love you have and pray that you can fight in the end."
Doris nodded to her and then turned to Frank. "I chartered a chopper to pick Natalia up at the airport. They'll drop her on the heliopad on the top of the building. It will be faster this way, a four minute trip instead of a forty minute drive."
"Good thinking. Her plane should be arriving anytime now," he replied.
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Rosemary Clooney's song "For all we know" is playing in the background…If you're not familiar with this song, YOU MUST PLAY IT BEFORE READING THIS PASSAGE…
Natalia wipes some tears away as she enters the Beacon lounge. There sits Olivia in her red dress, in the most alluring pose possible. She raises a snifter glass to Natalia and takes a small sip, then points to another glass on the bar and smiles, beckoning her to join her.
"For all we know, we may never meet again.
Before you go, make this moment sweet again"
Natalia walks to the bar and hugs and kisses her friend, glad that she's alive. She holds her face in her hands, smiling at her. "My god! I was so worried about you! Thank goodness you're ok!"
"We won't say goodbye, until the last minute.
I'll hold out my hand, and my heart will be in it"
She looks into Olivia's eyes and the background changes, to where they are naked in a bed, kissing each other, ecstatic and passionate! Natalia finds herself moaning with pleasure as her friend, her lover, explores her body. When they finish, both are panting from being out of breath. Olivia brushes away Natalia's hair from her eyes, smiling as she makes the gesture and says "I love you". She is leaning on her one arm, the sunlight hitting her backside. She is easily the sexiest woman alive.
"For all we know, this may only be a dream
We come and go, like a ripple on a stream"
Natalia blushes and looks away momentarily, only to return her gaze to Olivia's back. They are on the gazebo. Natalia is smiling at her happy that they have finally been with each other. She walks up to her, standing side by side overlooking the park and Olivia turns to her. Her hand strokes Natalia's face, but Olivia's eyes are sad and beginning to well up in tears.
"So love me tonight, tomorrow was made or some
Tomorrow may never come, for all we know"
Tears begin to fall down Natalia's cheek as she begins to realize that she's dreaming a lucid dream. She feels alive and everything seems so real. Oddly, she's aware that it's a dream and yet she's still sleeping. Wanting the moment to last, she reaches out to hold Olivia, but just as she does, she wakes from her dream to the pilot informing them that they are about to make their final approach to the landing.
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Her eyes were red and swollen, and she was exhausted from the long flight. She was overwhelmed and made weary by all of the emotion, all of the travel, and the frustration of feeling so helpless. Josh rode with her in the helicopter and informed her of Olivia's prognosis. He had been sent by Doris, as a former minster to help Natalia cope with what she was about to see and experience.
There wasn't any hope for Olivia, and everyone, including Natalia, knew it. She didn't have to even see Olivia to know that the woman was gone; she felt, in her heart, that her friend had already died and the reality of that feeling was true. Olivia's EKG had showed no brain activity. She was being kept alive with life support solely for the potential of harvesting any of her good organs that might be useful to others. She was also being kept alive so that Natalia could say goodbye. Everyone knew it, and everyone waited hushed sadness for her to arrive.
It was crushing, to think that this beautiful woman was already dead and that her pulse, a little blip on the monitor that now occurred every few seconds was really an artifice. A few hours ago she had been vibrant and happy. Now she lay, lifeless, except for the occasional breath a machine took for her.
Tears flowed down Natalia's cheeks as she anticipated saying goodbye to her best friend. Still, the strong feeling of hope welled in her, alive with the strength of a zillion neurons. She wanted Olivia to live. She wanted her to wake up and even joke that she tried to fake her death too. "Wouldn't that be just like her?" though Natalia to herself. Her chest ached, and her body was numb. She felt so helpless and tired. No amount of words, no amount of money, no amount of love could find it's way to bring Olivia back, and Natalia just wanted to fade with her into the night.
When Natalia reached the hospital bed she gasped. All of the monitors, all of the equipment keeping her Olivia alive…It was an overload on her system, as she took in her and Olivia's family surrounding the hospital bed. As she entered the hospital room, she found Ava and Emma at her bedside devoid of tears but with puffy red faces. They were nearly dehydrated and unable to cry anymore. Ava held her little sister, who was shaking uncontrollably. At the very foot of the bed sat Rafe, who stood up as he saw his mother enter the room.
"Ma" was all he could say. He had tears running down his face.
Natalia walked to the young man and hugged him and then turned to the girls. "I'm so sorry." Was all she said as they hugged and held each other. Everyone respected Natalia, by greeting her and then hastily leaving the room to give her a moment with Olivia.
She thought back to the last words she ever said to her. "I'm not saying goodbye!" she uttered again. She placed Olivia's hand to her own face and gently weeped. "Come back to me," she whispered.
For Olivia, the day was finished. She died with her family and friends around her when the life support was removed. She was surrounded by the people who cared for her most, who loved and cherished her, and when it came right down to it, they were the proof that she had lived a life worth living. That's how it is in life. You make the most of it and whatever happens, happens….
For her, the end finally arrived in pulling the plug on her breathing apparatus, just like P & G had pulled the plug on the soap Guiding Light, allowing it to asphyxiate and fade from our consciousness.