XoXoXoX

Sometimes the hardest thing
And the right thing
Are the same

'All at Once' – The Fray

XoXoXoX

Chapter 14

XoXoXoX

It took longer than he thought to make the arrangements.

Martin checked his watch: 1:45 am. He walked quietly down the hall to the interview room. He peered inside to see Dodd sitting at the table looking bored as Special Agent Harper sat on a chair in the corner working on a crossword puzzle. This was going to be easier than he thought. Harper was a rookie fresh out of the academy and whenever he saw Martin he made a special point to say hello to the Deputy Director's son. Harper was ambitious and way too eager to please.

This would be easier than taking candy from a baby.

"Alright, you can head home now Harper," he said to the other agent as he entered the room. He walked up to Dodd and helped him stand up. "Mr. Dodd since you aren't talking I'm going to go ahead and take you downstairs to a cell."

Harper stood up, still clutching his newspaper and pencil. "What do you mean? Agent Malone told me I was supposed to watch him all night."

"Change of plans," Martin replied, guiding Dodd to the door. He glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and he could see that Dodd's face was blank but curious as he observed the exchange between him and Harper.

"Are you sure because he also told me that you weren't supposed to be near Dodd," Harper replied, hesitantly.

Martin smiled. "You need to get your hearing checked, Harper. I'm sure Jack never said that. You know me. Do I look like someone who would hurt an old man?"

"But…"

"I'm sure my father would be very interested to know your opinion of me," he snidely added.

Um," he stammered.

"I'm not a threat to Mr. Dodd. You can ask him yourself," he said as he tugged on Dodd's arm. "Mr. Dodd, are you afraid of me?"

Dodd was quiet a long beat, his eyes moving between Martin and the green agent. Martin started to sweat, not sure what he would do if Dodd refused to play along when at last Dodd smiled at Harper and said, "No, I'm not afraid of Agent Fitzgerald at all. He's practically my only friend here."

Martin's grip tightened on Dodd's arm at being referred to as friend. "See, it's no problem." He led him out the door and over his shoulder said, "Good night, Harper."

Not wanting to risk being asked any further questions, Martin hurried Dodd down the hall to the elevator. Thankfully the doors opened almost immediately and he pushed Dodd inside ahead of him and pressed the button for the parking garage.

"Well, this is unexpected surprise," Dodd said, grinning ear to ear. "So where are we going? Something tells me you aren't sneaking me out of the federal bureau building to take me to a movie."

Martin ignored him, focusing his attention on the elevator lights. He needed to get out of the building quickly before running into anyone who might try and intervene. The bell dinged and the elevator doors slid open. He grabbed Dodd's arm and pushed him out, leading him through the empty parking garage to his car.

He pulled out his keychain, clicking off the car alarm and unlocking the doors. He spun Dodd around so he was facing him and leaned in to his face.

"Listen this is how this is going to play out: you are going to get in this car and I will give you my keys. You will remove your handcuffs and drive me to where you buried Chris." He pulled out his keys and yanked on Dodd's handcuffs. "You try anything stupid and I will shoot you."

He shoved the keys into his hands, jerked his chin towards the driver's seat and ordered, "Get in."

Before getting inside, Dodd met his eyes and asked, "How do you know I won't just crash us both into a wall?"

Martin stared back and coolly replied, "Because that isn't how you want this to end. You wouldn't have started all of this if you didn't want us to be find Chris together, just the two of us."

"Very good grasshopper," Dodd replied with a smile before getting in the car.

Martin climbed into the backseat, directly behind Dodd, and removed his weapon from his holster. He rested his gun on his thigh and prayed that his plan was going to work.

When they pulled onto the city street they were greeted by a drizzling rain and Dodd fumbled several knobs before Martin finally told him which one was for the windshield wipers. Dodd thanked him for his help and drove the car steadily towards the interstate onramp.

He slumped into the back seat, settling in for a long ride.

Glancing at him in the rearview mirror and Dodd asked, "I don't suppose we can stop someplace for some coffee? I haven't slept much the last twenty-four hours and we have a bit of a drive ahead of us."

"No," Martin snapped back. "If you get drowsy I'd be happy to slap the back of your head to wake you up."

He shook his head and laughed. "There's the feisty Marty I remember." He adjusted his hands on the steering wheel and sighed. "This does feel familiar though, driving a car in the middle of the night with one of my boys in the back. Factor in the rain, why it makes me feel downright nostalgic."

"Just drive," Martin ordered, wishing his voice had a harder edge.

"Well, I have always found talking to be a great way to pass the time on the road trip." He pulled the car onto the highway and soon they were traveling at a steady pace. "Do you feel like talking Marty?"

"Not especially."

"Maybe I should do the talking than," he replied softly as a large semi-truck drove by, making a loud whooshing sound as it passed. "Maybe I can tell you the story about how I confused you and Chris. Would you like to hear that story?"

Martin's eyes met Dodd's in the rearview mirror, his teeth gnawing the inner edge of his lower lip as he nodded.

"I thought it was just going to be an ordinary day," Dodd began. "And then I saw you – or at least I thought it was you…"

XoX

Dodd was hiking through the forest, checking for any broken tree limbs that might be blocking the path. There had been scattered thunderstorms all morning and there was a break in the storm so he decided to do some checking around. He bent over and moved a few branches over when he saw a boy on a canoe out on the lake. He crept behind a tree and watched. Although he wasn't able to see his face he couldn't help but notice that his profile looked remarkably like Martin Fitzgerald's. He stayed hidden, a grin on his face on how serendipitous this encounter was. Just today he had come up with an excuse to visit the camp again just to find out more information about Martin and now here he was just a few yards away.

Chris paddled the canoe to the shore, jumping out and pulling it onto land. Satisfied that it was docked, he turned and headed up the side of the hill towards Cayuga Cliff. Sensing an opportunity too perfect to pass up Dodd rushed down to the lake, careful to remain unseen, and pushed the canoe back out onto the water. He gave it such a hard push that it immediately was pulled along by the tide and floated out to open water.

Satisfied that there was no way for his young victim to retrieve the canoe or attempt to swim out to it, he spun around to prepare his Jeep for what lay ahead. He knew that his prized boy would mostly likely hike up to the trail and follow it back to camp and he would be ready. He filled the syringe with the animal tranquilizer and carefully placed it in the crevice of his door where it could be easily accessed.

A few minutes had passed and he worried that maybe the canoe wasn't as irretrievable as he thought when he saw him emerge from the forest. Only now he was wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap. He face was still obscured by the brim of the cap but there was no mistaking that he was upset at the loss of the canoe by the dower way he walked. He kicked the dirt, looking frustrated.

He put on his game face and opened the door to his Jeep. He started walking up the trail and feigned surprise at the sight of the boy. "Don't I know you? Your name's Martin, right?"

"I'm not Martin," Chris replied, taking off the baseball cap. "I'm Chris."

Dodd almost tripped as he walked, he was so taken aback. He quickly recovered and concealed his disappointment by planting a big friendly smile on his face. "I'm sorry. You look like a kid I know."

"Yeah we get that a lot," Chris replied with a grin. "We like to joke he's my brother from another mother."

"That's funny," Dodd replied humorlessly.

Chris gave him an appraising look, running his eyes over Dodd's ranger outfit. "Are you the new forest guy, the one who took the group tracking?"

"That's me," Dodd replied, stepping up and giving Chris a long look. "I don't remember you though."

"That's because I wasn't there."

"Maybe next time." He looked around to confirm that no one was nearby before his gaze landed on Chris and he asked, "So, you lost or just taking a really long hike?"

"I came out on a canoe to get this for Martin," he held up the baseball cap before placing it back on his head. "But I guess I didn't pull the canoe far enough up on shore and it drifted off."

"I can give you a ride back," Dodd offered, trying to make it sound casual and not premeditated. It was a skill he picked up long ago, after he scared off one boy by appearing too eager and too friendly.

Chris hesitated, glancing around. "Nah, I think I'll just walk. I need time to come up with a good explanation anyway."

"Explanation?"

"Yeah," he replied with a nervous nod. "We're not supposed to take the canoes out without a partner."

"So why did you?"

"Martin has been looking everywhere for his baseball cap and I remembered that he had when we dived off the cliff. So I thought I would see if it was there." He smiled and added, "Turns out to be a lucky guess."

"Why didn't he come with you?"

"He had to go home yesterday," Chris replied, disappointed. "Something about his grandma getting sick."

"Is he going to be back?"

"No, I don't think so."

Dodd felt a wave of crushing disappointment coarse through him. He waited too long to make his move and Martin slipped through his fingers. He looked back at Chris who looked a great deal like Martin except his eyes were a disappointing shade of brown. "You could have brought someone else."

"Well, I kinda wanted to be alone," he softly replied. "I sort of got in a fight with my girlfriend."

"Nothing like a little alone time to clear your head," Dodd said as he took a few steps back to head to his Jeep. "Enjoy your walk."

Just then it started raining again and he looked back over at Chris who smiled and said, "On second thought, I would love a ride back to camp."

XoX

"It was like a sign," Dodd finished. "That rainfall. Chris climbed right into my Jeep. He sat down in the passenger seat, grateful he wouldn't have to walk back to camp and didn't even notice the syringe until it was plunging into his neck. He struggled of course but thankfully the drug works quickly and he was knocked out in less than thirty seconds."

Martin bit the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste blood. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes and he brought his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose and squeezed. He refused to cry, he would not break down in front of Dodd. With his other hand he squeezed the handle of his gun, anger surging through him. It took every ounce of control he possessed to not use it on Dodd.

"Oh look, it stopped raining," Dodd observed as he clicked off the windshield wipers. He pressed the button for the window and lowered it, the cold wind hitting Martin in the face. Dodd took a deep inhalation and said, "I just love the way it smells after a rain."

Martin took a few deep breaths, trying to steady his nerves and with a quaky voice he said, "Roll it back up."

"Why? I like…"

"I said roll it back up!" he shouted, angrily.

Dodd sighed, put out, but did as he was told and pressed the button. The window moved back up. He grew surprisingly quiet as he drove and Martin found himself grateful for the reprieve. He wiped the sweat off his upper lip with the back of his hand and he suddenly wished he had let Dodd keep the window rolled down. He tried to keep his emotions in check by reminding himself he had a plan. It was a good plan and if he pulled it off Dodd would get what he has coming to him.

He took a deep breath and glanced outside. He could tell by the mile markers and road signs that they were headed to Green Mountain in Vermont.

"Why didn't you just bury him near Cayuga Lake?"

The car slowed and they turned onto a dirt road. "As they say, you never shit where you eat. I couldn't risk any possibility that he would be linked back to me."

The drove for a little while longer when Dodd turned the car onto a bumpy dirt road, the car bouncing up and down as it rolled over the rocky terrain. Dodd pulled the car over to the side and parked.

"He's that way," he said, jerking his head towards the forest.

Martin held up his gun and gestured for Dodd to get out. The both exited the car and he held out his hand. "Keys."

Dodd grinned and held them over Martin's hands but not releasing them. "You afraid I'm going to drive off and leave you here."

He didn't waver or flinch. He just waited with his hand outstretched until Dodd finally dropped them into his palm. He pressed the button for the trunk and it popped open. With his gun trained on Dodd he carefully moved behind the car and removed the small shovel and flashlight he brought along. He tucked the shovel under his arm so he could point both the flashlight and his gun where it needed to be aimed.

"Start walking," he ordered, the air was so crisp that his breath was visible.

Dodd just smiled and began walking as if they were going on a picnic.

He led Martin to a small open area and waved his hands around. "Here we are. At long last."

Martin tossed the shovel on the ground at Dodd's feet and ordered, "Start digging."

"The last two times you had a crew do the work."

"You wanted us to do this alone."

Dodd swung the shovel back and forth and in a sing-song voice he asked, "And what if I decide to use this shovel on you?"

With his gun pointed right between Dodd's eyes he replied, "Go ahead. I dare you."

Dodd just laughed before he replied, "Alright, if you insist." He bent over and broke ground, digging slowly. "Well at least the rain made the dirt nice and soft."

Martin licked his lips, his entire body trembling with anticipation of what lay ahead.

"I have to say," Dodd said, using his foot to push the shove into the ground. "That considering Chris was a mistake he did leave the most lasting impression…"

XoX

Dodd sat on a metal fold out chair and just stared at Chris, his expression somewhere between bored and resolved. He held up his bowie knife, the blade shimmering against the small light bulb dangling from the ceiling of the basement.

Chris' arms were tied behind his back, dried tears and blood on his face. He was staring off entranced but not really looking at anything. He bore the appearance of someone who had given up all hope and this pleased Dodd immensely.

"How do you feel?" Dodd asked. While his words were of concern, when he said them they sounded twisted and harsh; a morbid curiosity, without any emotion but a cold, clinical detachment.

Chris' reply was so soft that he couldn't hear him. When he asked again, the reply was just as quiet. Annoyed Dodd got off his chair and crouched down in front of Chris, his face inches away and asked one more time, "What did you say?"

He laughed a desperate, sad, lost laugh as he lifted his head defiantly and replied, "Like knocking on heaven's door."

And then Chris suddenly slammed his forehead onto Dodd's mouth. Dodd staggered a few steps backward, his hand on his jaw and wondered if any bones had actually been cracked. He felt disoriented so hunched over, his hands propped on his thighs as he tried to catch his breath. He moved his tongue around his mouth and that's when he felt his two front teeth were loose, threatening to fall out.

"You shit," he growled through a mouthful of blood.

"Fuck you," Chris spat back when Dodd lunged towards him with his knife.

XoX

"Usually near the end the boys just start praying but Chris, he had fight right up until the end."

Martin tried to swallow but there was a big lump lodged in his throat. It hurt to hear about Chris' last moments and how he was killed but he found himself feeling a sense of pleasure that at least at the very end he still tried to fight Dodd. But more than that, even in his most dark hour, Chris was still himself, his last words reflecting the core of who he was.

He wiped his nose with the sleeve of his coat thinking that it was almost like Chris was sending a message to him over time. He knew the song, "Knocking on Heaven's Door" so well and leave it to Chris to pick a classic.

"Chris might have been one of my best boys and I might have been happy with him if he didn't have a flaw that I could not overlook. He didn't have the blue eyes that I adore." Dodd stopped shoveling and looked up at Martin. "Eyes just like yours."

He pointed his weapon at Dodd and ordered, "Keep digging!"

"I'm done." Martin stepped forward and saw a body wrapped in plastic. Dodd gestured to the body and said, "Now I know I don't usually wrap them up but one doesn't like to leave their mistakes exposed."

Martin aimed his gun at Dodd. "Stop saying telling me he was a mistake! He was my best friend and you murdered him!"

"He was a mistake! It was you I wanted but you weren't there so I had to settle for him with his plain brown eyes."

"Shut up!"

"You were the one I wanted but you weren't there!" Dodd continued, emboldened, with his icy and cruel voice. "All the time I spent with Chris I kept comparing him to you. I wondered what your screams would have sounded like if I pressed a cigarette into your thigh. Chris had a high-pitched scream. Would you have screamed out, Martin?"

"Stop talking," he growled.

"I killed your friend Martin. I burned his flesh with my cigarettes and he cried, begging me to stop but I didn't stop. I just did it again and again until I was done with him."

"I said shut up!" Martin shook his head, trying not to listen but the words still reached his ears.

"And after I slit his throat I drove him out here and buried him in this unmarked grave," Dodd continued his tirade. "Out of all my boys he is the only one I never think about because when I remember my time with him I think of you. I think how much I wished it had been you on the canoe that day and how I regret that I never got to experience you for myself."

His arm flew up and he aimed his gun, his trigger finger aching to press it back. His heart and mind were heavy with grief and he had never thought he would want a man more dead in his life. He hated this man. His entire body was shaking violently, every cell of his being begging insistently that he kill Dodd.

"Go ahead, kill me. You know you want to!" Dodd shouted, each word deliberately provoking Martin. "Do it, Martin. Get vengeance! I killed your friend and I killed all those other boys and I don't regret it. I wish I could do it again!" He licked his swollen lip and continued, "And when I killed your friend I wished it was you! It should have been you!"

He adjusted his grip on the gun, righted it in his hand and fired.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

The gun was still warm in his hand when he lowered it. He stared back at Dodd's cold, dead eyes and asked, "Was that what you wanted?"

"What's going on?" Dodd replied, frantically searching his body for any sort of wound. "You shot me, I know you did."

Martin held up his gun and explained, "It's loaded with blanks." Dodd stared back at him, incredulous, as he took a breath and shouted, "You can come out now!"

Slowly, Jack, Sam, Danny and Viv emerged from the shadows of the forest. He looked over and met Sam's eyes, her pale brown eyes filled with sympathy.

He watched as Danny and Jack moved towards Dodd. He wasn't sure Jack was going to go along with his plan but once he told him that he would only carry blanks it made it easier to persuade him that he wasn't going to risk all their jobs by doing something so stupid. He was worried that Dodd would spot the two cars following him but thankfully the old man was too preoccupied with telling his story to notice.

Dodd's eyes were desperate as he looked at them before looking back at Martin. "What are you doing?!"

"You're under arrest for the murders of Kevin Hardon, Ben Forrester," Martin replied, dropping his gun to his side. "And Chris Warner."

"You were supposed to kill me!" Dodd shouted. "That's why you brought me out here."

"I brought you out here to get my friend."

"No! This isn't the way it's supposed to end! You were supposed to kill me! It's our destiny! That's why you lived that day! So you could come back and make it full circle." Dodd struggled, writhing in Danny's grasp. He bore his eyes into Martin and frantically explained, "Don't you see? I was diagnosed at the same time you rescued that boy! It was a sign that you lived so you could avenge those boys by killing me!"

Danny shoved Dodd forward and cuffed his hands behind his back. "Martin, this isn't the way it was supposed to happen. You were supposed to shoot me!"

"I don't want you getting off so easily," Martin evenly replied, giving Dodd a hard look. "I'd rather you spend the last pathetic six months of your life in a federal prison protecting your ass from your cell mates. Because you may not believe in heaven but I think you'll believe in hell soon enough."

Danny and Jack dragged a frantic Dodd back to the car as he continued shouting, "This isn't how this is supposed to end!"

He locked eyes with Dodd and said, "I'm thrilled to disappoint you."

He watched as Danny and Jack dragged a ranting and raving Dodd through the woods, his shouts growing more desperate as he was moved further away. Through the trees Martin could see the flashing red and blue lights of arriving police cars and the forensic van.

He turned around to see Vivian and Sam starting sadly down at Chris' sheet encased body. Sam gave him a soft sad look as Viv slowly stepped away, following the path where Danny and Jack took Dodd.

He moved to sit down next to the grave where his best friend's body lay when he felt Sam come up behind him. She rested her hand where his neck and shoulder met, giving him a comforting squeeze.

His head was still spinning and he needed something to hold on to so he reached up and placed his hand on top of hers, gripping it tightly and feeling thankful that he had her to hold onto as his anchor.

xxxxxxxxxx
A/N: Sorry it was sooo long but The Nagging Cube insisted. And man, does she ever nag. ;-)