DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter.

Ok, this is the same chapter, it's just a revised version since a reviewer (Kumori- Gin, thanks!) commented that i should change some things for grammatical purposes. well, i have tried my best to change my mistakes. hope this would be better! enjoy! and please don't forget to drop a review:)

Chapter Fourteen- Pretending to be

Draco sat all alone in the big classroom waiting for the impossible. He knew deep inside him that Ginny wouldn't come but still he waited. Even though he knew that Ginny wouldn't show up, there was just a voice in his head that shouted for him to wait. Draco was not normally the type of person who has the patience to wait for other people. It was not in his character to give other people chances.

But whenever he was with Ginny, he becomes out of character.

Alone in the solitary room for over an hour already, Draco still waited. Sitting on his chair, he slouched over a book and waited. He played with its leaves with his hand still looking at the door wishing that it would open. Starting to feel hopeless, he stood and put all of his things in his bag and started to walk towards the door. He was about to touch the doorknob when it suddenly turned and the door opened.

From afar Cecil saw Ginny near the fire. She smiled to herself as she saw her friend so absorbed to whatever she was reading. Little did she know that Ginny had been reading the same line over and over again.

As she let the same phrases passed her eyes but not her brain, Ginny's mind seemed to drift back to the time when she was in the lake.

Letting go of something that symbolized a part of her past ripped her heart. It didn't break her heart because she still has feelings for the person she had shared the special moments with but it was because as she dropped the silver string, she felt scared that maybe this won't be the last time she would let go of something that is significant for her.

Ginny knew that she was still young and love will be there for her in the future but she was just afraid that maybe...only maybe, love is just one of the things that are not meant for her...

Growing up in a big family wasn't easy. With all the things that were going on around her (having six children before her), Ginny got used to being just in the background. At a young age, she became resigned to the fact that not all of the things she wanted would be given to her.

And now as she ponderedon what she thought she had two years ago with Edward, Ginny felt more scared than before that maybe true love was just one of them…that it was not meant for her to have...

And as Ginny looked at the fire, she slowly realized that maybe this was the real reason why she didn't want Draco to know her. She feared that maybe the reason why he was being nice to her was that he was just playing. And she was afraid that she might fall for it.

But when she saw him at the lake looking at her from a distance, she realized that Draco wasn't playing at all. The way that he looked at her was different. She never saw him looked at her with so much concern except maybe the time when she met him last Christmas Eve. Ginny wondered why it had to be Draco.

She wondered that of all the people who can know her the way Draco does, why it had to be him. She felt that no matter how hard she tried to hold back, he always seemed to find a way to get through her. She had kept her pains to herself and rarely talked about it to others and there he was, seeing her hurting. Ginny shivered as the thought of finally giving in entered her mind.

But as that thought came to her, she immediately pushed it away. She was tired of expecting and not getting it at the end. And that was why she always holds back. She was tired of always hoping for a sunny day in a rainy week. She would rather not hope high than wish for something then when she thought she alreadyhad it, it suddenly came crashing down on her…without her even realizing it until it was too late...

Thinking of all these thoughts, flashbacks came across her mind; the day she met Edward, the day she said yes, the day he ended everything, the day she knew who Romeo was, the day she realized who she would tutor, the day Draco said that she was just afraid to fall again and the day she was with Draco in a room full of rose petals and candles.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the common room door opened. Colin approached her and spoke.

"Aren't you supposed to be---" he wasn't able to finish because Ginny stood and ran towards the door and went out.

"Ginny," Draco said quite surprised that she showed up.

"Look Malfoy, what you saw at the lake was nothing. And don't you dare ask me about it," she started, sounding like she was tired and had just cried, "but the reason I'm here is that I need to tutor you and it's my obligation to teach you. So here's a reviewer of what we took up for this week and just study it," she said handing him some parchment.

"The instructions are already made specific so you don't need to come to me to demonstrate them to you. This is better. I'll just give you reviewers every once in a while so you can still catch up. I have to go," she said without even taking a look of his face. But Draco on the other hand just looked at her. After speaking, she turned and began to walk away.

"You know, you always walk away and this time I'm not going to stop you. But the thing is, why do you always have to pretend?" he said sounding quite irritated at the fact that she always runs away to avoid things she don't want to handle.

Hearing him speak, Ginny stopped and turned. She looked like she was going to shout back at him but she just looked at him as if she was going to cry. But then a sad little smile showed upon her face.

"Pretensions are for people who don't know what they want. You'll be getting your next reviewers next week," she said trying to sound unaffected and then turned. With that answer, he became more confused about how she feels. He looked at her as she walked and got mixed in the crowd.

When she was nowhere to be seen, Draco looked at the parchments he was holding. He rolled his eyes thinking that this method of hers wouldn't work. Closing the door, Draco thought that he would miss dinner and just go back to his room.

As Draco walked, he was caught up with what Ginny had said. Hearing those words made him think that maybe he was one of the people that she was telling him about. He had been living his life for other people's expectations. He had a family name to put up with and having that last name had always given Draco the pressure of being proper and the best.

And maybe because of this pressure, he grew up through the years without knowing what he really wanted with his life.

But when he remembered the time when he said that he didn't want to be a death eater, he felt that it was the only thing he said in his whole life that really came out from his heart.

He felt that it was the only thing he said that made him true to himself.

Whatever he would do with his life, he just wanted to be remembered as someone who left a mark. But being trapped in a last name so consuming, he didn't really know what kind of mark he wanted to leave.

Being torn apart between the life of pressure and demands and the life he wanted for himself, a life he wanted to lead and to be standing on and be free, he didn't really know what to do.

But despite all the confusion inside him, if he would have a choice, he just wanted a life that he would lead that is for himself. He was getting really tired living it for others.

Muggle Appreciation Day came. Students had all day to roam around the castle and see different booths. Some were like little museums showing diagrams of Muggle transportation. Some were interactive in which people can actually touch and use the things displayed. There was even one booth wherein things such as telephones were displayed but the only bad thing about it was that they couldn't be used since the frequency that was surrounding the school wouldn't allow it to work. They just served as displays. Some booths even allowed the students to experience cooking without magic, which was enjoyed by many. But the main event of the celebration was the play, which would be showed in the late afternoon before dinner.

"Come on Malfoy, we have to be seated in front," the Head Girl insisted sounding quite irritated that the Head Boy kept resisting, "We have to be beside Dumbledore and all of the other teachers. We are the heads, you know," she continued. But Draco declined.

"I won't sit there. If Ginny, I mean Weasley," he said, connecting the last phrase very fast, "sees me, she might get distracted," he continued, sounding very insisting. Hermione was running out of patience so she just breathed.

"So what am I going to tell Dumbledore?" she said quite exasperatedly.

"Just tell him I will be watching from the back. I just don't want to be seated there," he said quite annoyed at Hermione.

"Ok, whatever, Malfoy." With that, Hermione left him at the door walking her way to the front row.

Draco sighed and found a seat at the back of the audience. Seating beside no one, Draco read the text written on the parchment he got outside. It was a pamphlet of the history, plot, and main characters' descriptions of the play. He was just staring at it when he heard someone spoke on the stage.

It was Dumbledore thanking the students and the staff for taking their time to see the play. He also had formally introduced the opening of it. Everyone clapped except Draco. He was not really listening to what the headmaster had said because he was caught up with his own thoughts. He was nervous yet strangely excited to see Ginny perform.

The red curtains opened and the white light that came from above had brighten the stage and showed a place wherein big stonewalls cornered a long street. Men in strange costumes started showing and the play had begun. Draco already knew what would happen since he had seen mostly all of the scenes rehearsed. But still, he was anxious about a particular scene wherein Romeo and Juliet are at the tower swearing their love. That, he didn't see during practice. He was actually feeling quite nervous at how Ginny would portray that.

He wondered how would Ginny take the kiss Romeo would give Juliet at the ending.

And the balcony scene started and Draco saw Ginny. He was in awe when he saw her entered. She looked angelic with the simple baby blue dress and her hair tied in complicated twirls. He was amazed at how beautiful she was. Her white skin penetrated through the see-through sleeves of her dress. At that moment when he saw her, Draco realized that Ginny was not the typical kind of beauty. He didn't find her dead gorgeous or even dramatically striking.

He found her timeless.

Draco saw her expression when Romeo was talking to her. Though in Juliet's character, Draco observed that Ginny was really nervous. People wouldn't see it because Ginny was good at hiding…but Draco can see it in the way she looked at Edward. He had already seen that kind of look when he and Ginny would argue and she wouldn't have any allegations to throw at him. At the whole scene, Draco just looked at Ginny. Even though very far from each other, Draco could see that Ginny was melting inside. Her facial expression, though to other people would look like she was acting like Juliet deeply in love, to Draco it looked as if it was Ginny who was looking at Edward.

Seeing this, Draco looked at the parchment he was holding. He can't stand looking at the stage any longer. He felt a strange pain inside. He didn't know what it was until he returned his look at the stage. He didn't want to admit it to himself but somehow he felt a little pang of jealousy.

At some strange point, Draco wanted to be Romeo. Somehow, he wanted to be looked at like that. Though having the urge to leave, he stayed. He told himself that he wouldn't get affected since it was only acting.

But with that conclusion, Draco somehow had doubted that it was not only acting for Ginny.

The play had continued and as far as the lines or cues were concerned, nobody committed any mistake. Everyone was happy about it that even Hermione was giving two thumbs up to the director. Everyone, except Ginny was glad. Even though she had performed well as far as the middle part of the play was concerned, she felt a little sad.

Hiding behind one of the red curtains waiting for her cue, Ginny looked at the audience. Not seemed contented at what she saw, she walked to the stairs leading down the stage and peeped. Though confused at what she was feeling, Ginny could be sure that she was sad not to see Draco sitting at the audience. As so she thought. The audience, except the front seats wherein the staff, the heads, the prefects were seated was covered with darkness.

Ginny felt like crying but she held back with all her might the tears. Don't cry, you have a play to finish, Ginny. It doesn't matter he's not here. You shouldn't care about his presence; he's just one in so many, Ginny thought still looking at the audience. Coming back to her senses, she heard her cue. Wiping her eyes to dry it since the tears didn't fall, instead stayed in her eyes, she walked as discreetly as she can towards the scene.

The play continued and whenever Ginny would be in the scene, Draco would somehow found himself smiling. At one scene wherein Ginny looked at the audience, Draco felt like she was looking at him.

The scene wherein Juliet would kiss Romeo to get some of the poison came. Hermione along with Ron, Harry, and Colin held their breaths for this. They didn't kiss during the practices. But the four of them were not the only ones nervous. Draco watched and as their lips touched...and he didn't like it...

As the speaker spoke and finished the play, Draco realized that he never thought Ginny would have this impact and effect on him. He never thought that of all the girls in the school, the Weaslette would be the one.

As the crowd stood and gave a round of applause to the cast, Draco went out. He decided that he would miss allthe commotion and just go. After the play would be the grand dinner but Draco chose not to attend. The people had started to go out and Ginny approached Hermione. She hugged her as soon as she reached her and exhaled loudly.

"I did it, Hermione. It's all over," Ginny said, her face buried in Hermione's hair.

"Congratulations, Ginny. You did great!" Hermione exclaimed as she let go of Ginny.

"Thanks, Hermione. I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you," Ginny said.

"It's nothing, Ginny. You had it in you. You just need a little push, that's all."

"Well, thank you for the push. You did really great at bossing everyone around at practice," Ginny said and both girls laughed. With this, Ron, Harry, joined them and they all went to the Great Hall for the grand dinner.

Ginny, for a fleeting second turned to see if he watched. But she was disappointed.

Before the grand feast, Dumbledore stood and spoke.

"Before starting this great banquet, I would like first to thank all of the people who were behind this great success. The teachers, the prefects, the heads and to all of you, students. This day wouldn't be a great success if all weren't determined enough to give their best to make this event an unforgettable one," the headmaster said aloud and everyone applauded, then Dumbledore continued when the clapping died, "Enough chit chat, let's eat!" he ended and as he held his hands up, food of all sorts came from thin air and to their tables and everyone started to dig in.

Ginny, though being congratulated by people who passed her seemed not to be quite happy. She was confused. Why am I not happy? I have the attention that I wanted…but why? It feels like there's something missing…

Holding her fork, she looked at the other table across her. But Ginny didn't see even his shadow.

Midnight came and Draco laid on his bed. He didn't feel hunger or thirst. His feelings seemed to dictate what he should feel externally. Neither hunger nor thirst had a place in Draco's system for the letter he just received invaded his thoughts. It was from his father telling him to keep his mouth shut about what happened during the break and not to say a word to Dumbledore or else something bad would happen to him.

The piece of parchment lying next to him made him want to throw things. That piece of paper made him want to slam everything he would pass. Fuming inside, he felt that he would suffocate if he didn't go out.

On the top of one of the tallest tower, there sat a redheaded girl smiling. Ginny sat there all alone with some tears falling from her eyes. But for the first time, she was not crying because something bad had just happened but she was really happy that she got through all of the things that came her way. She was happy because she handled what she thought she couldn't.

Thinking that it was getting really late, Ginny stood up holding the end of her dress. But as she took a few steps towards the door, it opened. She stopped frozen thinking that it might be Filch or some teacher. But before she could see whoever it was, she ran as quietly as she can at the other side of the tower where she couldn't be seen. (The tower has a flat surface but at the middle is the structure of the tower where the door is). Ginny leaned on the stonewall with closed eyes thinking that she would be caught being out of the dorms at this hour.

But no sound of any voice came. Ginny thought that the person had gone so she walked a few steps and saw a figure of a man looking at the stars. She didn't dare come close and she was taken aback when she heard his voice. It was Draco.

"What do I have to do for you to take all these from me?" he started, his voice quite louder than the usual, "what do I have to do, huh?" Draco said louder, looking above, "What did I do to deserve this? What can I do for you to turn back time and not make me a Malfoy? I can't do this, I just can't," he continued; now shouting. Now, Draco looked down on what he was leaning on and started kicking it. Seeing this, Ginny closed her eyes frightened of what he was capable of.

It took quite a long moment before he had spoken again. "I don't want to be a death eater!" he shouted, now standing still. Ginny could see from afar that Draco's hands were closed and were like ready to punch.

"I just don't! What can I do to change my destiny!" he continued still shouting looking at the sky. At that moment, Ginny realized that he was talking to the gods above them.

"It's all pretensions! And I'm tired of pretending and being caught up with what my family holds! I'm tired of all this crap!" he said. Hearing this somehow pained Ginny inside. He had been living a life he doesn't like. He didn't have a choice.

"I just want this all gone," Draco said now looking down. But this time, he was not shouting.

Hearing the way Draco said what came out from his mouth crushed Ginny's heart. She never imagined that Draco Malfoy would sound that hurt and devastated. She never thought that he could sound so hopeless. She never thought that there was a day that she would see him like that. Ginny can't help herself but shed a few tears in silence.

For a second she considered of going to him and just hold him close so she can get some of the weight he had. For a second, she considered going up to him and comfort him. But she was afraid that Draco might not do the same. And she was scared that his anger that was flaming in him might be poured onto her.

Not knowing that there was another person in the place listening to his grief, Draco just stood on the other side of the tower.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know anyone who he can pour all his problems to. But the worse was that he didn't know how.

All his life, he was taught to show no emotion and know no fear. He was taught that even though something was crushing him down, he would not show that he was already falling on the ground.

He had learned not to be weak. He had learned how to be numb despite all….

For a moment he thought that he would give up everything he had just to have somebody beside him whom he can truly trust and tell all his troubles to.

Because never in his life did he had anyone he can truly be himself with.

Draco, all confused with all the things that had been happening to him, turned, opened the door and went down.

Hearing the door closed, Ginny suddenly felt guilt in her heart. She found herself guilty for making things harder for him. She didn't know that Draco felt like that and there she was accusing him of pretending.

At that moment, Ginny never felt guiltier in her life. She felt like she had said things that might have hurt him just to cover what she was feeling.

She realized that she was the one pretending all along.

A/N: ok, what do you think? is the grammar better? hehehe..thanks for reading it again and please leave a review:)