Hey again everyone I'm really feeling getting more chapters out again and the reception of my last two has been wonderful thank you all so much! Love you awesome nerds! P.S I haven't seen PP3 yet and I'm DYING to watch it and YES I have seen the trailer with Bechloe and I nearly died. X
Chloe squeezed Beca closer to her as a smile crept across her lips, along with a blissful noise of content. The younger girl smiled and her eyes fluttered closed. She loved this, she loved Chloe and being in bed with her. She loved kissing her. Loving her and being loved in return is more than she could ever ask for. The brunette used to be so scared of letting her walls down, terrified of letting anyone in and yet there Chloe is.
"Beeecss what time is it?" Chloe said softly.
"Just gone nine, Red. Sleep well?" Beca replied, turning over to face the older girl. Their foreheads were touching, their lips a few millimetres away from each other's. Once again the two girls gazed into each other's eyes, Chloe's like bright blue crystal's with Beca's a deeper, stormier hue. Their gaze held itself for what felt like forever, everything they both felt was shown and shared with no words, no kisses, no deliberate acts of affection. It was Just pure love shared between the two young women. Chloe leaned in slowly and placed the lightest kiss on Beca's lips and then on her forehead. The younger girl had completely forgotten what she'd asked the redhead in the first place.
After some silence, Chloe chimed in, in her normal chirpy tone "I slept perfectly!" as a smile boomed across her face, her eyes lighting up like a Christmas tree. Beca didn't reply, or react at all, she seemed suddenly distant and then a cocktail of confusion panic and sadness filled her face. "Becs?" Chloe said, more than concerned, placing a hand on the younger girl's shoulder and attempting to move into her eyeline.
"I-I'll be right back Chlo I-I just n-need a shower." Beca barely said, before walking out into the bathroom. Before Chloe could stop her, Beca had left the room, reserved, hands pulled in. The brunette shut the bathroom door and locked it quickly. She began twiddling the loose strands from her bracelet, staring at the frayed purple thread, that was so damaged from all the little moments she needed Chloe to get through.
"It's too good, Beca, she's probably there just because she feels bad, or maybe she just wants to fuck you, maybe, she's working with Rachel. It is convenient that her car was there just when we were, that Chlo was talking to "Stacey"." Beca moved too fast and in one fluid movement focused and angry she grabbed the razor blade she'd hidden under a bottle of medicine in the very corner of the cupboard behind the mirror. Beca held the razor to her skin, ready to cut up her wrist and through the thinnest part of the bracelet. She was locked in a brief moment of purgatory, she wanted to cut herself but couldn't seem to bring herself to do it. Beca was so wrapped in her own voices she only just began to hear the soft voice of her girlfriend through the door.
"Beca please let me in, please, please I'm begging you…" Chloe sounded nearly broken, desperate. Beca dropped the blade. "Beca… please I love you so much please, come out here, talk about how you feel tell me what's wrong, I know it's not easy I know I-…" The tone of Chloe's voice changed, she slowed down and spoke softer. "I've been there, Becs… Just… let me be here for you, please don't push me out… I know thoughts can creep in and it hurts, and the voices tell you things, anything to push people away. But give me a chance to prove them wrong?... Please? Chloe felt a tear roll down her cheek.
The sound of light footsteps from the bathroom gave Chloe hope, and just as she'd hoped, Beca unlocked the door and opened it. Beca wouldn't have believed anyone else but for some reason, she believed the redhead just long enough to make her head quiet again. The two girls fell into each other, embracing, both sobbing uncontrollably but both happy to be in the other's arms again. They both calmed each other's arms.
"Can I ask you some questions Chloe? They'll sound stupid and paranoid and shitty and like I don't trust you, but it helps?"
"Of course, Becs, come on, sit down and cuddle dragon while I make hot chocolate." Chloe said, wrapping Beca in a blanket with her little pet dragon, which never failed to make her smile. The older girl placed a perfect kiss on the dragon's head and then onto Beca's before leaving for the kitchen. The brunette paused for a moment in bliss, she had her favourite things and a fresh kiss from the girl she loved. She was confused about how her mood was made so much better so quickly, but she was grateful for Chloe, even if sometimes she felt herself to be a burden.
Chloe returned a few minutes later with two oversized mugs, and gave the largest of the two to Beca. "I hope it's how you like it? I think I got it right?" Chloe said anxiously watching the younger girl take the first sip. Beca smiled with content, her shoulders relaxed and she smiled like a child.
"Perfect, Red." Beca replied sleepily.
"So, what do you want to ask? I'll be honest and blunt and if I lie, you can kick my ass to New Zealand." Chloe said in a cheerful, comforting tone that Beca was helpless to.
"You haven't planned anything with Rachel, have you?" Beca asked, ever so slightly more reserved. Chloe noticed and placed a hand on Beca's knee and moved her thumb back and forth, causing Beca's head to come back up to look at Chloe.
"No, I haven't spoken a word to, or seen the woman; outside of seeing her car and when she came over. I wouldn't go near her even if mall sale was on behind her." Beca was surprised by Chloe's joke of it, it would have seemed inappropriate to anyone else, but the brunette would rather that than a glum conversation, Chloe just knew how to make her feel better.
"Okay… phew." Beca said with a light giggle. "Right, you're not here because you feel bad, are you? Or just wanting a fuck?"
"Not at all Becs. I'm here because I've fallen for you and I adore every part of you; your eyes, your smile, your badass attitude in public and your giant heart at home. I'm here to stay, I promise you." Chloe said, squeezing her hand slightly.
"But the sex is still good right?" Beca said, with her trademark smirk.
"Oh! hell yeah! You're a goddess!" Chloe said, her head falling back. "Chloe compose yourself!" she thought, snapping back to reality.
"You're not too bad yourself, Red." Beca replied with the most badass wink she could muster. "So, and you don't need to answer this if you don't want to, but what happened? You said you'd been there before?" Chloe's smile didn't vanish but it dwindled slightly at the question.
"Well it was a long time ago and I'm fine now, completely okay, I mean I remember it sometimes, but it doesn't hurt anymore, you know?" Chloe began, and Beca believed her, only because she still maintained her gorgeous smile through the whole statement. "It was in high school, I wasn't bullied but my mom was a mentor at a theatre and dance school and she insisted I went, but she just controlled everything I did, and so anytime I'd move away from her plans, whether that be my diet, my fitness, my singing, she'd blow up. She never touched me, but you know there's only so many times you can be told you're not good enough until you start believing it." Chloe told the story like it was someone else's, detached. Knowing she'd moved past it. This confused Beca slightly, she didn't know how it could be switched off like that. "But anyway, I used to cut my hip because it was the only place that my mom never saw. She couldn't see, because if she did then she'd call me hideous, restart the cycle. But it all stopped when I came to Barden, and I don't see her anymore except on holidays and it's good and I'm okay now, and I love my body as it is. This is why I understand, I know it's a different situation and mine only lasted a couple years but I'm here for you to help in any way I can.". Beca's eyes were glassy, she placed her hot chocolate on the bedside table and Chloe followed suit before the brunette pulled Chloe closer and let her lean her head on her lap. Beca stroked Chloe's perfect, wavy, red hair. She loved how it never looked bad, how Chloe was always framed by a perfect lock of hair.
"Thank you" Beca said softly and quietly. "I really appreciate you telling me Chloe, and I understand that you didn't tell me before, that's okay. So, don't worry."
"So… do you wanna watch rom-coms and get drunk?" Chloe asked.
"Of course, Red, duh?".
So midway through writing this chapter it struck midnight here in the UK so this is officially being released Christmas Day my time, so I guess this is a little present? I hope you all have a fantastic Christmas, I may get a chapter out by New Year but if not, farewell for now and have a very good New Year! Speak soon awesome nerds! x