Movie nights have become even more enjoyable since the ice was broken between you and Jason, and as the ice outside begins warming and melting so does your heart. You're not sure exactly when it happened, it's been coming on so gradually for so long, but you think you've fallen in love with him. There can be no other explanation for the way he eases your mind, comforts your soul, warms your heart... and electrifies your body. Every evening now is spent much like that first one, holding one another close with plenty of nuzzles, kisses and caresses - sometimes you barely even watch the movie. Tonight is one of those nights, and you realize you're going to have to rewatch the previous three episodes of your current show because you have no idea what happened. Eventually you begin to feel sleepy, but you don't want to leave the comforting cocoon of his arms so you decide to take another chance. You'd been trying and failing to work up the guts to ask him to stay with you for ages now, worried that it might expose the depth of your feelings for him and send him running. But now that you know he reciprocates those feelings you decide to go for it, hoping that it's not pushing him too far.

"Do you want to stay here with me? Tonight?" He goes tense and you immediately back off. "Just to sleep, that's all. I just hate to think of you out in the cold." You wait for his response.

Jason's feeling extremely overwhelmed all of a sudden. It's almost too much, but not enough to make him turn down your offer. He only tensed up because he can't believe you asked, and he's not sure what's expected of him and he doesn't want to disappoint you in any way. Where exactly do you want him to stay? Here in the living room? At the kitchen table? Somewhere else entirely? He nods a bit shyly and tries to relax, waiting for you to take the lead, and when you smile warmly up at him it soothes his nerves. He trusts you, even though he can hardly believe what's happening. Whatever you want him to do he'll do it, and he'll do it happily.

"Okay," you say, feeling just as shy as he looks, then force yourself to pull away from him and stand up. You expect him to follow you, but he just stays there on the loveseat - he's waiting for you to tell him what to do, as he so often does. It's almost too much pressure - you're just as brand new to this as he is, after all - but you're the one who made the offer so it's on you to set the guidelines. So you reach out your hand and he takes it, then you lead him down the hall to your bedroom with your heart fluttering between your ribs and your whole body buzzing with excitement. You were tired before, but now you're not sure how you're going to manage to get a wink of sleep tonight.

Jason stands awkwardly in the bedroom while you're in the bathroom brushing your teeth and changing into your pajamas. He's vacillating between panic and excitement, wondering if he'll be sleeping on the floor or if you're actually going to let him into your bed. He still can't quite figure out how this happened, how it is possible that he's standing in the home of a person he cares so deeply about and who cares for him in return. That two years ago he was three seconds away from slicing your skull in half with his machete, and now he's three seconds away from potentially sharing your bed. Just having someone to care about at all is bizarre, and the fact that it's reciprocated is utterly incomprehensible at times. But now he can hardly remember a time without it… without you. You return from the bathroom, face washed and teeth cleaned and he watches nervously as you turn down the blankets, still waiting for guidance.

For your part you're trying to keep cool, but it's difficult. You've never shared your bed with anyone and it's only because you like sprawling out in your sleep that you even own a bed big enough for two. But Jason is a large man and this supposedly two-person mattress is going to be put to the test in that regard. You're suddenly finding it hard to speak, so you pat the mattress to indicate he belongs there before crawling into the other side. He takes a deep breath and sits down, then finally climbs all the way under the covers as well. It's a tight fit, but not so tight as to be uncomfortable. On the contrary, you relish the fact that you have no choice but to be snuggled close together again and you wiggle up against his side and sigh in contentment, your anxiety instantly dissolving. It's even nicer than being on the loveseat together, and before you know it you're fast asleep with your arm draped across his broad chest and breathing in his deliciously earthy, musky scent.

Jason is laying flat on his back, stiff as a board and staring up at the ceiling. He listens to your breathing begin to soften and slow, feels you relax against his side as you drift off to sleep. The minutes tick by and he begins to relax as well. This new intimacy is even better than everything that's come before it and he tilts his head down a bit to nuzzle his face into your sweet-smelling hair, gently enough not to wake you up. Then you make a soft little noise and stretch against him, your arm squeezing him a bit tighter and your leg creeping up over his hip, pressing the entire front of your body against him and hugging him as if he were a gigantic body pillow. His breathing gets quicker and his whole body feels warmer than it has since he was alive… and his eyes grow wide as that warmth seems to concentrate right between his legs. It has happened to him before, getting hard, but not very often and never from physical contact with another person - only randomly and seemingly unprovoked and he always tries to ignore it. When he was young his Mommy had told him it was normal and natural, but that good boys refrained from touching themselves there. But he's not a boy anymore - he is a man. And you're a woman. And while his Mommy had never explained to him the reasons for sex or where babies came from, watching the cycle of life through the goats had made him understand. And though she had whispered in his mind that such touching was bad, had told him to punish the teenagers who did it, he can no longer reconcile her claims with what he knows now to be true: that she had to have done it herself in order to give him life, that she must have loved his Daddy at some point. That the animals do it without shame and they are innocents, and that it creates their sweet babies who bring him such happiness. That even though he feels afraid right now, it somehow also feels right in addition to pleasurable. That when it comes from deep love instead of only shallow lust, it is okay… and that he loves you.
That still doesn't answer the question of what he should do about it right in this moment, though. You're clearly still fast asleep, and even if you were awake he still wouldn't know what to do. He can only hope that you will, when the time comes. So for now he closes his eyes and doesn't move, tries not to stimulate it in any way, and just waits for it to subside before drifting off into his version of sleep as well.

Every night now Jason joins you in your bed, and every morning you enjoy some time holding and caressing and kissing one another, sometimes for only a few minutes, but sometimes for hours. He's enthusiastic and generous in his attentions to you, but he still seems to be holding back a bit and you want more. You're hopeful that he's maintaining the same intensity of touching just because he's shy and unsure of how to proceed, and not because he doesn't want more. You never imagined that you would be the dominant one in any romantic relationship - especially not with a man capable of such ferocity - but so far he's been submitting to you and following your lead, so any forward motion is going to have to be initiated by you. But even though it's still a bit of a struggle for you to be so assertive with your wants and needs, at the same time it makes you feel safe. Jason doesn't come on too strong like so many men, doesn't leer or make advances or force himself where he's not wanted. But he is very much wanted, and when the first day of spring arrives you finally decide to try and show him just how much.