This is unbeta'd and might have some mistakes because I've been sick and exhausted, but I wanted to get something out to you guys!

(Eliza makes some dumb decisions in this, but it works out lol. Make sure to read the end notes!)

"This is the last of the boxes." Alexander announced, grunting as he set it down on the ground. Eliza sighed. "You okay, Eliza?"

Eliza jumped, lost in thought. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just put it down in here, I'll get to it."

Alexander raised an eyebrow and tapped the box with his foot before leaving, and Eliza went back to putting her clothes in a drawer. She didn't own much, and most of the clothes were already put away. She tucked the last of her underthings in their place before shutting the drawer and going over to the box. She opened it, and seeing it was the kettle and the coffee maker, she picked up both things and took them into the kitchen. Alexander, Laurens and Hercules were talking, but they paused when she walked in.

"We're going to go pick up Lafayette from the airport, but we can come back to help you guys finish unpacking." Laurens said.

Eliza put the coffee machine on the counter and the kettle on the stove. "You don't have to, we're pretty much already unpacked. You guys can come over to hang out, though. We're having tacos."

They nodded. "Sounds good." said Laurens. "Movie night?"

Eliza nodded, and Hercules and Laurens hugged them goodbye and left.

Eliza pulled out the cleaning spray and a sponge and began to wipe down the counters. Alexander leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching her. After a few moments, he said, "You okay, Liza?"

"Yes, why?"

"You're stress cleaning."

"What?" she said, pausing. "I do not stress clean."

Alexander chuckled. "Yeah, you do. You sure nothing's wrong? Are you gonna be okay living here with me?"

"Of course I am, Alexander. We're not together anymore. Whatever you do now has nothing to do with me."

He winced, but nodded. "I just want to be sure that you're okay here. That this is what you want to do."

Eliza slammed her hands down on the counter, her cleaning forgotten. "Why do people always ask me if I'm sure this is "what I want," but when I say what I want, nobody listens? I'm not a child! Why will no one listen to me?"

Alexander help up both hands. "I'm sorry. I'm listening, I promise."

Eliza shook her head, chuckling humorlessly. "Great, and now I've got nothing to say." She put the cleaning supplies away and left the kitchen, padding into the living room and dropping onto the worn couch.

After a moment, Alexander came in, sitting beside her. "So what kind of job did Herc set you up with? He wouldn't tell me."

Eliza glanced at him, then sighed. "He got me a job at Honeybee's."

"That diner across the street from his school? Nice. I like it there."

Eliza shrugged. "The pay is decent, but I applied to other places, and I might accept one if they answer. Two jobs would be nice. What about you?"

It was Alexander's turn to shrug. "I'm starting this paid internship at the capitol building soon. This upcoming year will be my senior year, so it is going to be hell."

"Oh boy," Eliza said, rolling her eyes. "I'll make sure there's coffee in the pot then."

Alexander laughed. "Is it wrong that I'm really glad to see it again? I've been going to Starbucks and what not, and sometimes I had no coffee at all. It sucked."

Eliza giggled. "You, at Starbucks? You must have been desperate. Well, no more of that then."

Alexander beamed at her. "It's great to have you back, Eliza. I missed you. We need to hang out more."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "As friends."

"As friends. Promise."

She nodded. "Okay. We should."

The day passed mostly uneventful, with Eliza going down to Honeybee's for an interview. The owner liked her a lot, and she was assured a job. When she returned to the apartment, Lafayette and Laurens were there, but not Hercules. "Your sister seduced him away from us." Lafayette said, laughing. "She said something to him over the phone, and he almost killed us getting to his apartment. He threw the keys at me and disappeared."

Eliza had laughed so hard she nearly cried. Alexander had bought the ingredients they would need for tacos while she was out, so Eliza set to work cooking. Once dinner was done, they settled down to watch a movie. Alexander pouted when he was outvoted three to one for a chick flick, but was easily appeased with popcorn. They all settled in the living room, Alexander and Laurens on the couch, Eliza and Lafayette on the floor.

"We really missed you, cherie." Lafayette murmured to Eliza. "Please, do not run away from us again, no matter where you go. We are here for you."

Eliza said nothing, only reached over and took Lafayette's hand in hers, squeezing. They focused on the movie.

By the time it was over, Laurens had fallen asleep with his head on Alexander's lap. Alexander gently woke up, and Eliza got a funny feeling in her chest at the tenderness in his eyes. She ignored it, helping their guests gather their things.

Before he stepped out the door, Lafayette turned around. "I have something for you." He dug in his messenger bag and pulled out a large, orange envelope, handing it to her.

"Who is it from?"

"You know who."

Eliza looked up at her friend, frowning. Lafayette's face was serious. "Thomas told me he had some last things to say to you. It is your choice to respond, but please, at least hear them out?"

She nodded, and with one last hug, Lafayette departed. Eliza closed the door, taking the letter into the living room. Alexander was still watching TV.

"What is that?" He asked, nodding at the letter. Eliza shrugged.

"Lafayette gave it to me. I'm going to turn in early, good night."

"Night, Liza."

Eliza went into her room, closing the door. She sat on the bed, staring at the envelope. Her name was scrawled on the side, in James's handwriting, neat, blocky letters she had seen on labels in his room. Slowly, she opened the envelope, pulling out and unfolding the piece of paper inside. Thomas's messy scrawl covered the page.

Elizabeth Schuyler,

Did you know that dreamed of you once? It was after a few weeks of you staying with us, and I was napping away a headache. I dreamed you walked into the room, kissed me on the forehead, and stroked my cheek. "You will feel better when you wake up." You said, like you knew. You smiled, a sad little smile, like you had dealt with this before, then you disappeared. When I woke up, I did feel much better. When I walked in to the living room, you smiled. "Feel any better?" you asked me. There was something about the way you smiled that made me think that it had not actually been a dream.

Though, the time you spent with us felt like a dream.

I'm sure you have questions, ones you are entitled to get answers to. Ones I would answer without hesitation, no matter how guilty they made me feel. No matter what, I do not think I could ever sleep without the guilt of hurting you haunting me.

I can't explain most of it to you over a letter. It wouldn't be fair. However, I can tell you that you were never a fling. It happened so quickly, falling in love with you, that we were scared. Too scared to even hint at being anything more than friends with you. Even when you let us touch you, make you feel good, we were scared. We have been burned. We have been hurt. James and I only ever had Martha, and when we lost her, each other. We lost ourselves to stupid flings, little romances I would chase, dragging James along into the mess. I never let them last longer than the summer. I did not want them to. But then you came into our lives and suddenly I wanted you to last past summer, for days, for weeks, for years, forever. You were a storm I could never prepare for, though I would never want to you. You are wild, you are colorful, and I would happily drown in each and every part of you. You make me believe in God again.

Elizabeth, I am so, so sorry for keeping secrets. I love you with all my heart, and would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. I can only hope that I ever get the chance to explain face to face. If you ever need anything, James and I are here for you. All you have to do is call. James could not bring himself to write you anything, but he is inserting some pictures for you to keep (or destroy. It is your choice.)

Best wishes,

Thomas

Eliza picked up the envelope again, fishing out the photos Thomas had mentioned. There were five, and Eliza's heart stopped when she saw them. She recognized the first one – Harry had taken it when they'd first arrived in France. The second was a picture of her looking out of the window on the train. The third, a selfie James had taken, Thomas and Eliza on either side with wide smiles. The fourth was one from their apartment – Thomas and Eliza were standing in the kitchen, leaning against each other and laughing. Eliza remembered that night, though she could not remember what they had been laughing about. The last one was a photo of her. She was lying on the grass, wearing a pink sundress. Her hair was fanned out around her head, and flower petals surrounded her. Her eyes were closed. She remembered that day, vaguely. She had been feeling down, so Thomas had dragged her out of the house. They had stopped by the library to torment James a little while at work, then gone to a museum. He'd taken her out for ice cream, and they'd napped in the park for a while. He had woken her up later in the day, and they had made their way home.

Eliza's vision blurred, and she raised a shaky hand to her eyes to wipe at her tears. They kept coming however, and she let them, sliding the letter and the photos back into the envelope and sticking it on the lower shelf of her bedside table. She laid down on her side, curling into the fetal position as she cried.

There was a knock on the door, and Alexander poked his head in. "Eliza? Are you alright?" He stepped into the room eyes widening when he saw her curled up on the bed. "Eliza, what happened?"

Eliza only shook her head, and Alexander sat down on the bed, pulling her to his side. "Hey, hey, it is okay. I've got you." He rubbed her shoulder and waited for her to stop crying.

"Sorry." She hiccupped, rubbing her eyes, but Alexander shushed her.

"It is okay. What happened?"

"N-Nothing, I… It's about James and Thomas, I don't want to talk about it."

Alexander nodded, asking no more questions. When Eliza had pulled herself together, she sat up straight, taking a deep breath.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, it's alright, you can stay." She wiped at her eyes again. "I'm just confused."

"About?"

"A lot of things."

"Talk to me, Liza. I'm listening."

Eliza turned to look at him. He looked sincere, and Eliza felt on the verge of crying again.

"I just, miss the way everything was, you know? I was so happy."

"Were you really though?"

"Yes!" Eliza threw her hands up in the air. "I mean, yeah, I didn't know you were cheating, but ignorance really is bliss! I was perfectly content in the life we had, Alexander. And now I… now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not dumb enough to think I need a significant other, but I like having one."

Alexander nodded. "I understand. It's nice having someone to come home to, especially someone like you. I still can't believe I was dumb enough to fuck that up."

Eliza could help it - she snorted, which turned into hysterical giggles. Alexander chuckled as well, and before they knew it, they were both laughing hysterically. Alexander was the first to pull it together, and he bit his lip, still shaking with quiet laughter, as Eliza quelled her laughter. She leaned against him again.

"Well," Alexander said, calming down, "no matter what, you always have me. You may not be my girlfriend anymore, but you're still my friend, and if you ever need anything, just let me know, okay?"

Eliza nodded slowly, biting her lip and looking up at him. "Anything?"

"Anything."

"What if… I wanted to do this?" She pulled him down into a kiss, throwing her leg over his and straddling his lap. Alexander moaned into the kiss, resting his hands on her waist.

"Eliza, what-"

"This means nothing." she whispered against his lips. "This is one time sex. You're going to go down on me, and they you're going to fuck me. Alright?"

Alexander nodded, and they wasted no time in getting naked and under the covers. Eliza groaned as Alexander teased her clit with his tongue. She buried her fingers in his hair, arching her back and as he ate her out, sucking gently on her clit. Eliza bit her hand, smother her moans and Alexander kept his pace steady, alternating between circling her clit with his tongue and thrusting in shallowly. He hummed, and the vibration made coil in her stomach snap. She keened as she came, her thighs tightening around Alexander's head. She pushed him away with her foot, panting.

"Should I even ask how you got so good at that?" she asked when she caught her breath.

Alexander smirked. "Probably not, but it's also not what you think. Got any condoms?"

Eliza reached into her bedside drawer, pulling one out and silently thanking Peggy for slipping them into her bag (though she would give Eliza hell for using them with Alex). Alexander tore the pack open and rolled it on, and Eliza spread her legs wider, taking Alexander's cock in her hand, stroking it a couple of times before adjusting and lining it up with her entrance. Alexander pushed in, gasping like the air was sucked from his lungs, grabbing her hips.

"Fuck, Liza, I-"

"I already came. Go ahead."

Alexander nodded, burying his face in her neck before thrusting gently. Eliza wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her heels into his back. Alexander took the hint, speeding up the pace, and Eliza could feel a second orgasm creeping up on her. Alexander hiked one of her legs over his shoulder, other hand grasping the sheets by her head.

"Eliza, I-I, gonna…"

"Cum, it's okay. You c-can cum, fuck!"

Eliza reached down to rub at her clit, gasping as a second orgasm ripped through her. Alexander thrust once, twice, then held still, gasping against Eliza's neck as he came. When he finally came down, he rolled off of her, pulling off and tying the condom before chucking it in the direction of the trash can. Yawning, he turned to Eliza.

"Mind if I stay? Promise not to hog the covers."

Eliza nodded slowly, suddenly feeling dazed. "Sure. Gotta pee."

She got up on shaky legs, taking the time to get semi-dressed before going to the bathroom, slipping her phone into her robe pocket. She felt funny, but she couldn't put her finger on the feeling. She finished up in the bathroom, wandering into the living room, then the kitchen. The dishes from dinner were still in the sink; she made fresh dish water and cleaned them up. When she was done, she leaned against the counter, arms crossed.

She wasn't as satisfied as she'd thought she'd be. She wasn't sure what she expected by sleeping with her ex, but she definitely hadn't expected to feel so empty.She went into the lower cabinet, finding a half-empty bottle of tequila, and grabbed a shot glass and a bottle of lemonade before going out onto the balcony. She sat down on the cold concrete, legs crossed.

Peggy picked up on the second ring, yawning. "What's up?"

"Do you ever do something dumb and not realize how stupid it is until it's over?"

There's a quiet rustling for a moment. "For the love of God, please tell me you didn't do what I think you did."

"I did." Eliza poured a shot of tequila and tossed it back, chasing it with a swig of lemonade. Peggy sighed.

"Why in the hell would you sleep with Alexander again? You promised me you were just roommates."

"We are. It was just sex, Peggy. We're still not together."

"Eliza, it's never 'just sex' with you. What is going on, you're starting to scare me."

Eliza didn't answer, just poured herself another shot.

Peggy sighed. "You miss them, don't you?"

"Please don't start, Peggy."

"Why not? Why is it so hard to admit that you want to be with them? So they made a mistake, yeah, but they didn't screw you over like Alex did! Eliza, why are you holding onto him so hard even after what he's done?"

Eliza didn't answer, moving to grab the tequila bottle again. She paused when her fingers touched the bottle.

"Eliza?"

"It isn't fair?"

"What?"

"It isn't fair ." Eliza stood up, grabbing onto the railing. "Why should I have to give up everything I had before all of this happened? My life was perfectly fine! I was happy! I liked how simple everything was. Why does that have to change?" She squeezed her eyes shut. "Loving them is so… confusing, and I hate it. I don't want things to change. It doesn't matter how much I miss them."

Peggy sighed softly. "Eliza… I can't tell you what to do, but I'm scared for you. You've never been this self-destructive before. I know you want to be independent, and that you think you know what your doing, but now I know how Daddy feels. It seems like you're falling into old habits and I don't know how to help you. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to tell you?"

Slowly, Eliza let go of the railing. She could feel the alcohol in her system, making her sway slightly. Exhaustion pulled at her from all sides. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she realized - Peggy was right. Whatever she thought she was doing, it was a bad idea, and she knew it. "I don't - I don't want you to tell me anything, or do anything. I just need to get it together. No relationships, no casual sex. Just me. Right?"

"Right. And if you need something, ask. You spent so long relying on yourself and Alex that you don't know how to ask anyone for help anymore. But we're here for you, Liza. We love you."

"I love you guys, too. Sorry for making you worry."

"I'm always worried about you and Angelica. You're my sisters. But things will get better, Eliza, promise. You just need to focus on yourself for now."

"You're right."

"I always am. Get some sleep. And drink some water. Don't think I can't tell you're tipsy."

Eliza snorted, laughing before bidding her sister goodnight. Grabbing the lemonade and tequila, she went inside, putting the bottles back before getting a glass of water and downing it. Grabbing a spare blanket from the linen closet, she settled on the couch. Pulling the blanket up to her chin, she drifted off to sleep.

The sound of pots and pans clanking together woke her the next morning. Yawning, she stretched, turning toward the kitchen. Alexander was standing at the stove, and she could smell eggs cooking. Wrapping the blanket around herself, she stood up, going over to the island and leaning against it.

Alexander glanced at her, smiling gently. "Morning."

"Morning. You cook now?"

"I'm full of surprises."

Eliza chuckled.

"Sorry for running you out of your bed last night." Alexander said.

"You didn't. I talked to Peggy on the phone and was too lazy to go back to my room." She yawned again. "I'm going to shower, be right back." She went to her room to grab her stuff before going into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she stepped, the warm water automatically soothing her. Her head hurt, but it was minuscule when compared to the hangover she had in France. She scrubbed her skin until it tingled, washing her hair as well. When she was satisfied, she got out, drying off and getting dressed, a white tank top and black leggings. She toweled off her hair and pulled it up in a ponytail before pausing to look at herself in the mirror.

There were bags under her eyes, but she looked normal otherwise. She felt different - lighter. Smiling at herself, she went into the medicine cabinet for some pain reliever before exiting the bathroom.

Alexander sat on the couch, two plates of pancakes and eggs on the coffee table. Eliza sat down beside him, taking one of the drinks to chase the pain killers with.

"Looks good!" she said.

"Thanks! Hopefully it tastes okay."

They dug in, and Eliza was surprised at how good the pancakes were. When they first got together, Eliza had done most of the cooking, because it was not Alexander's forte. He had obviously been practicing in her absence, and the thought made her giggle.

"What's so funny?"

She shook her head slowly. "Nothing. Just a passing thought." She put her plate down, turning to Alexander. "So, Alexander, about last night-"

"I think we should leave it at that."

Eliza blinked. "Go on."

Alexander scratched the back of his head. "You didn't do anything wrong, I just think that maybe we should stop before we fall into a pattern we don't want. You don't want to be with me, Eliza, I already know that, and honestly? I'm working through some stuff, too. So let's just agree to be strictly friends. Okay?"

Alexander held his hand out, and Eliza stared at it for a second. Then she started laughing.

"Perfect." She agreed, shaking his hand. Relaxing back on the couch, they turned on the TV and continued with breakfast.

So, they've finally found some peace. Let's see if Eliza can work it out with Thomas and James.

The story is almost over guys! Would you be willing to read a sequel? I had some notes tucked away, but I know it's taken me so long to write this that people might not want to read something else. Let me know in the comments!