A Fire to Keep me Warm

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

AN: So, well, here is the chapter that many of you have been waiting. Shit, even me! I was so happy when my hands began to type this chapter. It's nice to see people happy.

Confession

I sat quietly at the restaurant table, poking my Four Cheese Ravioli dinner with my fork. I didn't dare to stare at Seth. His eyes held a different array of emotions that I couldn't register in my head. I wanted to apologize for making him angry. Seeing my Seth angry was like watching the sun hiding behind a dense and dark cloud. He was my sky and his smile warmed me like the sun and it kept me sane and grounded to the floor, but when he barely looked at me, I felt cold and despondent. I didn't like the atmosphere that broodingly lingered over our table. I wanted to run away and hide from the ominous feelings that my heart hid. I felt deserted and alone, without my angel's smile.

I cleared my throat and sat straight on my chair. "Seth," I said, placing the fork on the plate and grabbing the napkin and to wipe my lips.

"Yes," he whispered, putting his fork down and pushing his plate away from him. "Is there something wrong with your food, Cheskie?" he asked nonchalantly, as he reached for his glass and took a long sip of his ice cold Root Beer and glanced at me.

"I wanted to apologize." I said, staring down at my plate. "I've been acting so childishly today, that I feel ashamed of my actions."

"You didn't do anything wrong. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You haven't done anything wrong." he said, his lips pursed together into a thin line. "I was just; I was the one acting like a kid. I shouldn't have pressured you into telling me if you liked me. I mean, I know that you like me... we are good friends. Our families are closed and I know that..." he said, smiling sweetly at me.

"No, Seth," I said desperately. "I have been acting stupid all day. I can't believe that I put you in the position of going out on a date with me, when you probably wanted to relax after going to school and working so hard all week. I am even making you kiss me, without you, um, well, without you even wanting to kiss me. I should be ashamed, Seth."

"But, I want to kiss you." he said timidly, as he ran his index finger over the cold glass.

"I can't believe that I am so selfish." I continue to rant. "I mean, you are so nice to me and all I've done is taken advantage of you. I can't believe- I don't know what cross my mind when I asked you to kiss me. I am so sorry to practically force you in to doing something that you obviously don't want to do you probably have a girlfriend at school or at work and you-"

Seth laughed heartedly and continued to eat his food, as I continued to rant and complained about how inconsiderate I was for forcing him to go out on a date with me and for making him promise me that he was going to teach me how to kiss.

"I want to kiss you." he chuckled. "I don't have a girlfriend at school or anything like that. I am not interested in anyone else that isn't you, Cheskie. I really don't mind anything... I did want to kiss you. I still want to kiss you."

"I've put you in such a predicament and you think that I am using you- What did you say?" I said confused. Did I hear right?

"I want to kiss you." he said seriously, as he leaned his chair closer to the table. "I want to kiss your lips. It's all I've been thinking about all day! I want to kiss you, Cheskie."

"You want, Seth, did I hear you correctly? Y-you want to kiss me?" I stuttered surprised.

"Yes, silly girl, I want to kiss you." he chortled nervously. "I want to kiss you real bad."

I ran my hand through my face and stared baffled at him. "Since when? I mean, you said that we... Oh, I see, you are trying to be nice to me. You don't have to Seth. I don't want you to think that I am going to be taking advantage of you all the time. I should've paid attention to Damon. He said to not use you, because you would always say yes to any of my stupid ideas." I said, remorsefully.

"I don't mind. Use me all you want, Francheska. I like you. I like it when you need me. It may sound masochistic or even a little sadistic, but I like it when you use me and need me. It makes me happy when you ask me for help. It's my purpose in this life to make you happy, Cheskie, and if you need my help, then that's all I need to be happy. It gives me more time to be with you. I like your company." he said, smiling brightly.

Oh, my eyes! They were stinging with unshed tears that were threatening to fall. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My ears must've been deceiving me.

"Oh, no, it's not like that, Seth. I like to know that-" I trailed off, embarrassed.

"Cheskie," he said, leaning forward on the table, as he stare at me with those bright, deep, intense and gorgeous green eyes. "I like you so much. You aren't using me."

"Oh, I've know, Seth. I know that you like me, but I have always had this little voice that makes me doubt my own conclusions. You see, I know that you care for me, but, OK, I didn't know that you like me! You send me mixed signals and-" I stopped and looked down at my hands.

"You've known?" he asked curiously.

"Yes," I nodded and sighed. "I've known. You've always treated me nice. I've heard the guys make fun of you for liking me. I know that you like me, but, well, I don't just want you to like me."

He bobbed his head and placed the palms of his hands on the table and sighed heavily. "Ches, but what?" he asked sadly.

"Well, I'm not sure that you like me the way that I want you-"

"Sweetheart, I just don't like you- I feel something deeper for you! It's difficult to describe, but I am deeply attracted to you." he said, giving me one of his devilish smiles.

I grinned at him and gnawed at my bottom lip. "How deep?"

He reached for my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Francheska," he began. "I don't know if you remember three years ago, when you got lost in the wo-" His cellular phone began to ring and he groaned loudly, a few patrons stared at us annoyed. "I'm sorry, sweetie." he said, smiling apologetically at me, as he reached inside his front pocket to get his cell phone. "Hello?" Seth rolled his eyes at the unknown person on the other line and growled softly. "Look, I'm on a date. Leave me alone or I can call you back. No! I don't want to talk about it here... I'm in front of Francheska and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable..."

I got up from the chair and gazed down at my beautiful Seth. "Where are you going?" he asked worriedly, as he covered his phone with his russet hand and stared concernedly at me.

"I'm going to the bathroom, Seth." I said nonchalantly, when I pushed my chair closer to the table. "I'll be back. I promise." I smirked at him.

"I'll be here, Ches." he said.

I walked through the restaurant, and glanced back to our table and saw Seth's eyes still on me. I placed my hand over my heart and sighed. What was happening to us? Where things changing or was it all my imagination? I reached the back hall and made a left and opened the women's bathroom door. I went to the stall at the end and ambled inside. I locked the door and grabbed a handful of toilet paper and began bawling my eyes out. I felt so despondent, when I found myself almost confessing my love to Seth Clearwater for the second time in my life. Maybe this time things were going to be different! He said that he liked me! I mean, I did hear it right. I was just so afraid to find out that he only loved me like a sister. I didn't want to feel rejected. The last time that I told him how I felt, his rejection broke my heart. I couldn't let it happen again. Once was enough, but twice... I didn't think that I was going to be able to handle the pain of a broken heart for the second time.

I inhaled deeply and leaned against the wall and cried a bit more. I wanted to close my eyes and believe that he loved me with the same intensity that I felt for him. I wanted to believe that he was able to hear my heartbeats sing my love for him. I was such a delusional romantic. My stupid romantic soul was the one that got me in this mess in the first place. I remember telling myself that everything was going to be fine and that Seth was going to reciprocate my love for him. Was I stupid or what? I walked out of the stall and washed my hand and face and stared at my reflection. I looked so sad. I wasn't the same girl that three hours ago, had smiled so brightly and radiantly, because she believed that she had the power to change the outcome of her situation with Seth. Earlier, I had this idea that this improvised date was going to be the cherry on the top of my relationship with Seth. But now I understood that I was not getting anywhere with the clueless Seth I needed to use a stronger tactic. But which tactic would I use, when I was as clueless as him?

I exited the room and walked back to the table, where Seth sat. He smiled when he saw me and exhaled swiftly. "I was worried about you." he paused and smiled at me. "You were taking too long in the bath-" he trailed off and blushed. "I mean, I was worried that something might have happened to you. I care about you. You are my girlfriend, right?" he asked hopefully.

"If you say so." I whispered, as I stare at my hands. "You don't have to go along my crazy ideas, Seth."

"What's wrong?" he asked, placing his drink on the table. "I thought that you wanted us to be boyfriend and girlfriend? That's what you told Claire. And you know that if you tell Claire something, the entire school will know!"

I laughed and nodded. "Yes, I guess you are right! OK, Seth, I am your girlfriend." I whispered, taking the glass cup in my hand. "Seth, I'm ready to have that conversation with you."

He looked at me confused. "Which one?"

I laughed softly. "The one that you said that we needed to have, before we entered the restaurant."

He ran his hand through his hair and cocked his head to look at me better. "Oh, yeah right, that conversation." he said. "I don't want to force you into anything, Cheskie. We can have that conversation some other time."

"You aren't forcing me. I am ready to speak. I sort of get moody when I'm hungry and since I ate, I can speak without getting angry. Come on, let's have this conversation today." I said cheerfully.

Seth looked from the table and then at me. "You really haven't eaten, Cheskie." he said, pointing at the plate that was in front of me.

"Seth," I said annoyed. "I am ready to have the conversation with you."

"Um, OK, do you still want to go to the park like you suggested earlier? We can talk there." he said nervously.

"Sure," I nodded. "We can go there after we finish eating."

He smiled and winked at me. "Of course, princess."

We finished eating our dinner and paid. He held my hand as we quietly exited the restaurant and got inside his car. When we were inside his car, he caressed my cheek and kissed my forehead gently. We drove in silence, holding our hands, and after twenty minutes, he was pulling his Mustang into the park's empty lot. He parked his car and turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt.

"It's going to rain." he said softly as he smiled at me and rolled down the driver's side window. "Meanwhile, I'll put down the window and let the breeze come in. If you get cold let me know, alright?" he said, as he turned to face the window.

"OK, Seth." I whispered, unbuckling my own seatbelt.

I was nervous. This was it! This was the moment that would determine if I would cry tears of happiness or tears of sadness all night long.

My heart began to beat fast against my ribcage and the flame of hope began to burn brightly in my soul. He turned to face me; his dimpled smile gave me the strength to open up my heart to him. There were two outcomes to this story; my feelings would be reciprocated or my heart would be shattered and destroyed. I was ready to take the dive, the leap to the unknown and let the currents of life take me wherever they wanted to lead my life.

"Do you want to talk inside the car, Seth?" I asked, as I played with the hem of my pleaded skirt.

"Sure, that way, you don't get cold. I mean, I am like a human furnace, I'll keep you warm inside the car." he said, beaming at me.

"I do," I said, staring down at my hands. My knuckles had turned white, as I held on tightly to the hem of my skirt. "That way, if it rains, we won't get wet. I don't want you, Seth, my boyfriend to get wet and sick." I said softly, looking up at him from behind my eyelashes.

Seth nodded his head and ran his large hand through my loose hair. I felt the heat of his touch consume me. My breath hitch on my throat and I had to force myself to breath. His touch was intoxicating and my soul begged to taste the wine of his perfect lips.

"Cheskie," he breathed and stared out the window. "About that, about the conversation we were having earlier. I want you to know that I like you... I really like you!" he said, his face turning serious.

"You like me, yeah, you've told me, Seth." I giggled nervously.

"That's why I want to have this conversation with you. Because I want to know where we stand. I want to know how you feel about me. I want us to be honest with each other; we are friends, aren't we?"

"Cheskie," he said, turning on his seat to face me. "I mean that I like you more than just a friend. I want you to consider me more than just a friend."

"I-" I stammered nervously, raising one eyebrow to stare quizzically at him. "Continue."

"Oh, shit, Cheskie, I am crazy about you." he said, raking his fingers through his thick and satiny black hair. "You make me crazy and not in the bad way. I love waking up in the mornings because I know that I will see you at school. My heart is not satisfied until I see you and know that you are there, smiling, close to me and happy. I follow you everywhere and it's not because I am stalking you... OK, maybe I am, but it's because I can't get enough of your company and I need to make sure that you are safe. My heart demands so much of you. I need your proximity to feel alive. I need to see you smile, laugh and just... I hope that I am not scaring you when I tell you that I need you so much. I love you, Francheska!" he laughed anxiously.

"You aren't scaring me." I said happily. "I like you so much, Seth." I whispered, a tear of hope descending my face. "Wait, you love me?"

"Yeah, I do love you. I know it's not the most romantic confession of love that you'd wanted to hear, but it's my only chance to confess how much I love you, Francheska. And if I am not scaring you, why are you crying?" he asked sadly.

"I-I," I stuttered. "I have been trying to tell you how I feel about you... but I am scared. The last time I confessed my love for you," I paused and wiped my tears and sobbed. "It hurt me so badly. I suffered so much due to your rejection and it took me so long to accept the fact that I would never have you. But here I am listening to you confess your feelings to me and I am so scared that it's all a dream or a prank. I don't want to suffer the heartache that I felt three years ago. I cried for you. I suffered so much pain, Seth. I don't think that I can handle it again. Promise me that you are being honest with me! I want to believe you that you are telling me the truth and you're being sincere."

"I'm being honest." he said, leaning closer to me. "I'm giving you my heart and soul, right here in this wonderful, rainy afternoon, Cheskie." he said, taking my hands in his and kissing them. The rain drops began to pelt on the metal roof of his car and the cold breeze that entered through the driver's side window was perfect. I could hear the beats of my heart and his steady breathing. It's real and I could see for the first time, the love in his eyes. I've seen him staring at me so lovingly and I always thought that he only cared for me like a brother would care for his sister. "I love you, princess."

I found myself drowning in the pull of his green orbs. I didn't want to fight the currents of the moment. I wanted to be lost in his eyes forever and never look back. I wanted to have this moment engraved in my memories and in my heart. I wanted to remember how Seth Clearwater stared at me, with so much love and adoration the afternoon that he confessed his love to me.

"I want to believe you, Seth." I said, gnawing at my bottom lip. "I want to have all of you. I want your heart, your soul, your body and everything that makes you, you, Seth."

"But you can have me." he said, taking my face in his loving hands. "You can have me. Francheska, I am yours. I've been yours for the past two years. I will be yours forever. I know that I hurt you so much in the past, but I wasn't ready to love you back then. I needed time to grow out of my delusional idea that you were my spiritual sister..." he scoffed and shook his head. "See how fucked up I was back then, Cheskie. I can't believe that I actually believed all that bullshit!" he grinned. "I don't want to be your brother; I want to be more than that... I want to be able to kiss your lips, to evoke a smile from your lips. I want you to fall head-over-heels in love with me, Ches."

"I don't think that can happen, Seth." I said, my face serious and somber.

"Why?" he asked miserably.

He clasped his warm hands harder on each side of my face and stared befuddled at me. "Why, Ches? Did I do something to offend you? If I did, I want to apologize. I've never meant to hurt you or treat you with disrespect."

He leaned his forehead against mine and continued to gaze into my eyes. "I'm already crazy in love with you." I confessed. "I'm already head-over heels in love with you!" I whispered, my gaze locked in his.