chapter fourteen: fables for a young lady
Shifu pored over the scroll. He'd already thrown out three versions and his nerves were starting to get the better of him.
Emperor Gan -
No ...
Son of Heaven -
too ... supplicant.
I am keeping your Princess, you pathetic bastard. Bring your army, and I will bring my students. We will make you regret the nights you forced her into your filthy bed -
He lost his grip, making an ugly splotch on the ugly words.
Shifu sighed, pushing the scroll away. This was useless. Tomorrow he would speak privately with Zeng, who knew the protocol far better than he. Perhaps he would feel less childish and emotional after a good night's sleep. He put the pen and ink aside, quelled two of the candles, and crawled back into bed with her.
She was curled in her usual circle. As he slipped in next to her he ran his hand along the curve of her back, through her incredibly soft tan fur. She rustled, stretched, and cuddled up against him, throwing her arm over his chest and thigh across his legs. She murmured something unintelligible, rested her head on his shoulder and slept.
He kissed her head, moved her ear out of his face and stared at the ceiling. Shadows danced by the light of one last candle. What if the Emperor did want her back? What if he did come to the Valley of Peace with his armies, intent on retrieving her? What would Shifu do? The fantasy he'd scrawled on that scroll was just that. He would never ask his students to risk their lives for what was essentially his fight, and though he was a formidable master he could not face an entire army alone.
Their only choice would be to flee.
He looked down at his softly sleeping fiancee. He would leave the Jade Palace, his students, the Valley of Peace, everything he had worked for to keep her from Gan. He didn't even need to think about it. They could bolt in the dead of night, disguise themselves, book passage on a ship bound for Japan. From there they could sail to the Philippines, and from there Malaysia. Surely Gan would give up chase long before that. They could settle anywhere. Cambodia maybe, on the sandy beaches. He'd find the heat insufferable but she'd adore it. Perhaps he could start a new Kung Fu school there - though he would have to call it something else to hide their whereabouts, should amazing masters start emerging out of Cambodia.
He would give it up, his life for forty five years, all of it for her.
Wow, Shifu thought. I've really got it bad.
ooo
The next morning he kissed the palms of her sweet hands and slid out of bed just as the sun rose. Ha! No being late today! He put on his robe and strode confidently out of the sangha, where he nearly ran straight into Zeng, who held a small stack of firewood.
They stared at each other for a long moment.
"What are you doing here?" Shifu demanded.
"I - I'm bringing the Princess extra wood for her morning fire, Master Shifu." He gestured towards the sangha's courtyard. "Her supply runs low."
Shifu turned. The little pile by the komainu statue had dwindled to one lone log.
"Well ... good. That's good," Shifu said lamely.
"If I may ... ?" Zeng said, gesturing to get by.
"By all means," Shifu muttered, but grabbed him by the shoulder as he passed. "Zeng - "
"Not a word, Master," Zeng said. "On Oogway's honor, not a word."
"On Oogway''s honor?" Shifu said, impressed. " Thank you, Zeng."
"Of course, Master." He gave a small smile and nodded, continuing on.
Shifu turned suddenly.
"I love her," he said.
Zeng looked over his shoulder at Shifu, astonished at his frankness, then turned carefully and smiled. "That's wonderful," he said.
"I ... yes. It is," Shifu said, puzzled by his own actions. He formed his hands into a temple and bowed slightly. Zeng returned the gesture insomuch as he could, and they parted ways.
Why the hell did I say that? Shifu wondered as he trudged up the hill in the snow. After a moment's search he came upon the answer: he didn't want Zeng to think they were up to something unseemly. He didn't want the goose he'd known and trusted for twenty years to get the impression that he was merely ... merely fucking her. He didn't want to be seen as ... well, as a dirty old man.
Shifu chuckled. I am though! he thought. I'm engaged to a woman half my age, I really am!
He was sure his secret was safe with Zeng. It was only a matter of time, after all. Zeng knew the dirt on everyone, and had for years. He kept all the secrets in the Jade Palace, what was one more?
ooo
"Good morning Master!" his students said, standing at their doors. All except Tigress.
He stared. They all did. The only thing more unprecedented than Shifu's tardiness was Tigress's.
"Tigress!" Shifu barked. "Tigress!"
No response. He stalked down the hall and threw open her door. "Wake up!"
She was half out of bed, head in her hands. Her fur was mussed and there were bags under her eyes. "Master ... ugh," she muttered.
"Are you unwell?"
"Yes. Yes Master, I am." She did not look at him as she said it.
"Then get some rest. Join us in the training hall when you've recovered." He reached in and shut the door behind him. He gestured to the other students to follow and they did. He glanced back at Tigress's closed door. Had he ... he was almost certain he had ... smelled alcohol on her breath?
ooo
Tigress lay back down and pulled the covers over her head. She felt nauseated, her mouth cottony. How had she become ill so fast? Most sickness had some sort of build up, a warning, but this just hit all at once.
Oh. Wait.
The memories of the previous night rushed back to her. The strange old fortune teller and her flask. Tigress moaned. If she had known the state she'd be in the next morning she'd have refused those drinks. That said, the walk back to the Jade Palace was positively sweet and relaxed. She hadn't felt that peaceful in ages.
Peaceful enough that she might go back and visit the old woman again.
She knew it probably wasn't a great idea.
She also knew she would go.
Tigress took a long drink of water from the glass at her side, then pulled the covers up over herself. What a nice thing it was, to sleep late. She was determined to enjoy it.
ooo
She awoke in the early afternoon, but remained in bed anyway drifting in and out of sleep. After a while she went to the kitchen to grab a snack. The bunkhouse was so empty and quiet she felt like a ghost. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so alone. She took a piece of fruit and another glass of water from the kitchen. She tip-toed back to her room and ate quietly, trying to preserve the soft blanket of silence as long as she could.
Shifu had ordered her to join the others in the training hall as soon as she recovered, and she did feel better. But in all truth she did not want to join them. She enjoyed this rare solitude, wanted to stave off her return to the "real" world as long as possible.
She got back in bed, smiling mischievously to herself. A day off!
She reached down the side of her bed and found what she knew was there, her sweet girlhood comfort. It was a little book of fables Shifu had given her when she was six or seven. The pages, yellow from years and years of love, comforted her instantly. Over the years of repeated readings the characters in the fables had become familiar and dependable as family. The book was without a doubt her most treasured possession. The night Shifu returned from the village with it, he actually sat and read to her. She had never been happier than that hour, where they sat together as father and daughter.
It never happened again.
To this day Tigress didn't know what made him read to her that night. It was a long time ago and her memories were hazy, but she seemed to recall that he had been in a spectacularly good mood that day, almost celebratory. Over what she had no idea, nor had she cared. Master Shifu sitting with her, reading to her ... it was as if a beautiful eagle flew out of the woods and landed on her shoulder. If she breathed too much or moved a muscle she might scare it off.
She flipped through the pages of the little book. For years she had treasured it as a token of Shifu's fatherly love - the only tangible hint that it existed. It was obvious that he respected her greatly, that she was his favorite student, and that he would always protect her in the case she couldn't protect herself. But the ... closeness ... she craved. The comfort of knowing that, as a child, she could have sat in his lap and been held. The pain of knowing the impossibility of that wish.
For years she had pored over the book. Did it mean anything? Was there a secret code embedded in it, a map to gaining his affection? Why this book and not some other? She searched it cover to cover for a pattern, a lesson, as though it were a kung fu scroll. In the end she concluded that the book contained no special knowledge he wished her to have, and that he had likely purchased it for the title: "Fables For A Young Lady."
As though she were just any young lady.
She'd packed her emotions away for the remainder of her childhood, sought solace in Nanny Goat, whom Tigress loved with a ferocity. She had sobbed like melting snow when Nanny Goat passed. She was eleven and inconsolable. Shifu had excused her from training for a few days and left her to mourn alone, when all Tigress wanted was for him to hold her and tell her he would never, ever die.
She returned to training after five days of mourning and life resumed normally. Ages eleven, twelve, thirteen, all passed without event. She tried every day to be the student Shifu wanted. Elegant, powerful, reserved, stolid. When her body began to change in the strange ways Nanny Goat had hinted at she betrayed no sense of her inner turmoil, the twinges, the aching breathless urges from nowhere. Until one day, during training, she and Shifu were sparring, and ... and ...
Tigress winced and slammed the book closed. Her heart raced.
Maybe it was time to get out of bed after all.
ooo
"Please, have a seat," Habika said to Viper. They met at the sangha for the lunch they had agreed on the day before.
"Thank you, my Lady."
Habika waved her hand dismissively. "Please, call me Habika."
Viper looked at her questioningly. "Habika?"
"Yes. Habika is my real name, my African name. Meihui is a name I was given when I was adopted by my Chinese family. I much prefer my real name. Before I met Shifu I had nearly forgotten the sound of it."
"May I ask how he came to know it?"
Habika considered it a moment. "I don't recall the exact conversation," was all she said. "I asked Jing to prepare your usual lunch. I didn't want you to break your kung-fu diet on my account." She gestured to the table, where there was rice, vegetables, and tofu. "However if you are interested in breaking your kung-fu diet, there is some thousand layer cake in the kitchen," Habika said with a chuckle. "I won't tell."
"I think I can make an exception just this once," Viper said, smiling. "Thousand layer cake is Shifu's favorite, did you know that?"
Habika smiled, blushing a little. "Yes, he introduced me to it."
Viper smiled. "He must like you very much to make such a rare indulgence. I think the last time there was Thousand Layer Cake at the palace was about two years ago."
"What was the occasion?"
Viper chuckled. "Shifu's sixtieth birthday."
Habika smiled and shook her head.
"What is it?" Viper asked.
"I keep forgetting he's in his sixties! He's so ... youthful. I'm half his age and I have half his energy." She chuckled. "So, what did you do for Shifu's birthday?"
"Oh, not a lot. He's not one for a fuss. He was happy with his cake. He rarely strays from the kung-fu diet, it's a big indulgence for him."
"How do you warriors live with such restrictions? Up with the sun, training to exhaustion every day, nothing but rice and vegetables! It makes me feel positively slothful. Ah, I need a glass of wine just to deal with it!" Habika said, pouring herself a glass.
Viper laughed. "It's not for everyone, that's for sure." A mischievous look came over Viper, and she nudged her glass forward with her tail. "Hit me."
Habika raised her eyebrow. "Are you sure?"
"I'll chalk it up to you being a bad influence. "
"I seem to have that effect on you people," Habika said, pouring Viper a glass.
"Oh?"
"You know, Thousand Layer Cake, and all that."
"And all that," Viper said. "Cake is delicious, after all."
"Oh yes."
Habika rose her glass. "Cheers!"
"Cheers!"
They clinked.
"You simply must tell me all about the Forbidden City!" Viper said after they'd finished lunch. "I've dreamt all my life of visiting. Is it as fabulous as legend says?"
Habika sighed. "It is every bit as beautiful and opulent as you may have heard. But it is also a heartless, cold place full of relentless ambition and jealousies, and I hope with all my heart that I will never return there."
Viper seemed taken aback.
"Court life is poison," Habika said, rambling a bit due to the wine. "There is no love or nurture there, even for the smallest of children. Everyone pecks at everyone else for the slightest scrap of power, or the Emperor's ear. Truly, it is a terrible place. I much prefer the Jade Palace to the Imperial one."
"Wow," Viper said softly. "I'm sorry to hear that. I had always thought of the Forbidden City as ... well, magical, I suppose. Filled with ladies in beautiful dresses and jewels, and ... and all that."
"If it's dresses and jewels you're after, come with me. I have plenty."
"Oh no, I couldn't!"
Habika walked to the hall, gesturing for Viper to follow her. "Come now, my dear, it's been ages since I've been in the company of a good female friend, and I've missed it terribly."
Viper giggled. "Girl time it is!"
ooo
An hour later the bedroom was a mess, strewn about with Habika's entire wardrobe of beautiful silk hanfus, and jewelry. Habika wore her very best Hanfu, and Viper wore a few bejewled chokers. She had taken a keen interest in a pair of old dancing fans.
"I have been meaning to learn fan dancing for ages," she said, swinging the fan gently by the end of her tail. "Ribbon dancing is easier for a snake, but the fans are so elegant. Oh, and these match your dress!"
Habika sat on the bed. "I find it funny how interested you are in dresses when there's not a spot of clothes on you."
Viper shrugged. "They're still nice to look at. Maybe it's the allure of something I can never have. The closest snakes get to clothing are tattoos, like the one on my back."
"That's awfully permanent."
"No no! I get a new one every time I shed my skin. I'm already starting to plan my next one. It has to be done while the new skin is still soft, so it hurts like hell, but the colors come through much nicer that way."
"Beauty is pain," Habika said, absently running her hand up to her mutilated ear. The wound had healed but it had left the ear ugly, gnarled and malformed.
"I mean to ask you about that," Viper said.
"Carriage accident," she said. "I was wearing a big heavy earring - that one, in fact - "she pointed to the heavy jade dragon, " and it caught on something, tore right out."
"Oh no!"
"It's all right. Shifu bandaged it up nicely. I told him I'd rather lose an ear than my life. He actually apologized to me about it, can you imagine?
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. They both jumped.
"Yes?" Habika called.
"Master Shifu is here to see you, my Lady."
"Speak of the devil," Habika said. "Send him in."
There was another knock on the door. Habika opened it to find Shifu.
"Master," Habika said.
"My Lady. Viper." He looked around the room and laughed. "What is this? I thought you were having lunch, and here you are playing dress up!"
"My apologizes, Master," Viper said with a giggle, bowing.
"We're just getting to know each other," Habika said. "What can I do for you, Shifu?"
"I just came to retrieve Viper, she's half an hour late," he replied.
"Oh no, am I? Oh I apologize Master, I didn't realize - "
"I understand, Viper, I know well how diverting the Princess can be when she wishes." He smiled at her, then looked at Viper. "Meet me back at the training hall in ten minutes, please, Viper." He took one last look at the room and chuckled. "Silly women," he said, and left them.
Habika and Viper exchanged glances and laughed.
"Wow," Viper said. "Shifu must adore you."
"What makes you say that?"
"Every other time I've ever been late for anything there was hell to pay. I've never seen him just wave it off like that. Are you some kind of witch?"
Habika laughed. "Maybe so!"
Viper smiled. "I've got to take my leave. Thank you for lunch, and showing me all your beautiful things!" She spotted a pendant on the bed. "Oh I don't think I saw this one! How beautiful!"
Viper picked up off the bed the glass amulet which had been the supposed Mongolian gift, admiring it in the candle light.
"Oh, that?" Habika said. "That's not real, my dear. It's glass."
"It's lovely."
Habika smiled. "You take it."
"W- what?"
"Take it, it's yours."
"You can't be serious."
"Now now," Habika said, taking it from Viper and putting it around her neck. "I want you to have it. It's a gift, from me to you. Ah, there. It looks beautiful on you."
"I - I don't know what to say!"
"Don't say anything, just wear it in good health, my friend," Habika said, kissing viper on both cheeks like a sister might.
ooo
That evening the students were in in the kitchen finishing dinner and chatting. They were relaxed except for Tigress, who was pushing a bit of tofu around a largely untouched plate.
"Are you feeling any better, Tigress?" Crane asked.
"Yes."
"What was wrong?"
"Something I ate, I think."
When Viper slithered into the kitchen all conversation stopped.
"Spill it," Crane said.
All eyes were on her. Viper shrugged, insomuch as she could. "Spill what?"
"You had lunch with the Princess. What's her deal?"
"Why does there have to be a deal?"
"Where did you get that necklace?" Tigress asked.
"She gave it to me. Isn't it amazing?"
Tigress looked at it but didn't respond.
"Spill, spill spill!" Po said.
"Drill all you want guys, there's not much to spill. She's nice, very polite, I like her a lot. We talked about the Forbidden City, had some wine - "
"Is he or is he not banging her?" Mantis interjected.
"Mantis!" Viper exclaimed.
Everyone stared at him.
"What? Oh, come on! He rescued her from seventy billion guys, and they spent four weeks cooped up in a cave together. Just the two of them. Alone. Shifu may be a Venerable Master, but he's still a guy. After four weeks he'd better be banging her. I'll be disappointed if he isn't." Crane shook his head. "Don't look at me like that, you all want to know too."
"I want to know," Monkey said.
"Yes! See? I'm not the only pervert here! And I don't see any of you getting up and leaving, so -"
Suddenly Tigress stood, glaring at them all. "Good night," she said, throwing her dish into the sink and stalking off.
"What's her problem?" Mantis asked.
Po sighed. "I don't know, she's been like that ever since she got back. I think she's having a thing."
"She can have it somewhere else. Back to the subject at hand. Viper! What's your impression?"
"There's … something." Viper said. "It's pretty obvious they're fond of each other, at the very least. Something's going on. I don't know if it's ... physical. Not that it's any of my business."
"You know what they say," Mantis said. "Save the princess, claim your prize."
"What? Who made that rule?" Viper said.
"Pretty much every story ever!"
"He does have a point. That pretty much is every story ever," Po said.
"This is real life, not a story," said Viper.
"Oh really? Hey Monkey!" Mantis said.
"Yeah?"
"Ok, so, the Emperor writes you a letter saying 'Yo Monkey, protect my sexy princess from bandits.' So you do, you take out a bunch of guys, and then you end up stuck with her in a cave for weeks on end with only each other for warmth and entertainment. Did you or did you not claim your prize?"
"Like it was my job," Monkey said without hesitation.
"Po, did you claim your prize?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to say yeah. I was going to say no, but ... yeah."
"Crane? Yes or no?"
"Does she want to … um, reward me?"
"Of course she wants to! The question is not 'Is Crane a rapist?" it's "Did Crane claim his prize?' Pretend she's a swan, or something."
"Like a swan would give me the time of day," Crane muttered.
"Crane, you're killing me here."
"I told you, I would if she wanted to. But if she's a swan she probably doesn't. Other species don't even exist to those girls."
"I'm sensing issues," Po said.
"Viper!" Mantis said. "Did you or did you not claim your prize?"
Viper considered it for a moment, and finally said, "Is she cute?"
Mantis, Monkey, Crane, and Po fell suddenly silent, staring at her.
"Really?" Crane asked.
"Wow, learned something new about Viper today," Po said.
"Oh no. You guys, it was a joke!"
"No no, please, Viper, continue. Tell us of your crazy naked lady adventures," Mantis said. "Who's your type? Is Tigress your type? I mean I know you guys are close, but damn."
"Oh gods, what have I done?" Viper asked.
"Women!" Crane said.
"You too?" Viper asked Crane.
"If you want, but you might be more interested in my sister," Crane said.
"Oh, buuuuuurn," Mantis said.
"For crying out loud, you guys. I'm going to bed."
"Yes, but with who?" Mantis asked, and the the boys burst into laughter.
"I get it, you're amused! Whoop-de-doo!" Viper yelled back, shaking her head. She went to her room. On the way she slithered past Tigress's room, but the door was closed, and her candle was out.
ooo
Shifu waited till the rest of the palace was fast asleep, and crept out of the bunkhouse. He rushed silent as a shadow over the hill to the little sangha, where Oogway's candle was lit and his love waited. They undressed each other hurriedly, without a word. Afterwards he put his arm around her and dragged her close, curling around her, nuzzling her cheek and kissing her.
"I like your palace. And this funny little house. And Viper seems very nice, I think we'll be great friends."
"Oh good," he replied, kissing her neck. "You two and your silly dress-up games."
"Girls, you know," she said. She put her arms around him, kissed him. "Thank you for taking me home with you. I'm happy here. I love you."
She smiled at her. "And I love you, little one. Always will."
Shifu's ear twitched towards the window.
"What?" Habika asked.
He was silent for a second longer. "Thought I heard something. Gone now." He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. She smiled.
"So, tell me about your day, darling," Habika said, stroking his little beard.
ooo