WELL WELL WELL. LOOK WHO DECIDED TO CRAWL OUT OF HIS CAVE.
Hey guys! So yeah… I had a bit of a… unintentional hiatus. I didn't mean too, I swear! I just… I'm lazy. I've had the analysis sections done for a while but I just kept procrastinating when it came to actually writing the fight. BUT I FINALLY DID IT. So yes, I'm back.
Also, before you read this episode of my fan-made death battles, there is something new I've added to this episode. Something I call "Youtube codes." IN the actual fight section, I've added musical cues! I just had to since both of these games have such kickASS soundtracks. Since there is no way to actually link the music tracks on this site, each music cue will feature a code like this:
"*Cue death battle theme song – Invader* watch?v=uihVrASDQhU"
To access the song, simply go to the homepage for youtube and paste the code to the end of the URL. And make sure there is a "/" between the url and the code. This will take you to the cued song.
BUT ANYWAY. Enough of that. On to the episode!
Wiz: When it comes to fighting, there are plenty of ways to go about it.
Boomstick: A few of my personal favourites are gun fights, sword fights, car fights, fist fights...
Wiz: But more importantly than weapon choice, is fight styles and strategies. And today's two fighters follow a strict defensive style when it comes to fighting. Excessive dodging
Boomstick: Because even one hit would take down both of them!
Wiz: The Kid, the young boy on a quest to become the guy.
Boomstick: And sans. The pun loving skeleton and judge of the underground.
Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's out job to analyse their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win... a DEATH BATTLE.
[DOORS CLOSE]
Wiz: Dreams. Ambitions. Aspirations. Everyone has them, even if they think they don't. An overall goal that they desperately want to reach more than anything else.
Boomstick: Mine is to collect two of every single weapon in existence, Noah's Ark style. The day that happens, I can die happy.
Wiz: And in the town of... Home... The goal of many is to one day achieve the title of "The Guy".
Boomstick: What's "the guy"? Is it like being a ruler or something?
Wiz: Ehh, sort of? It's more like Being champion. The strongest of all time. To become The Guy, you must assassinate the current guy. Or at the very least defeat them in combat.
Boomstick: Former Guys even include past DEATH BATTLE combatants such as Ryu Hayabusa, M. Bison, Scrooge McDuck and even the glorious Mike Haggar, god rest his moustache.
Wiz: It was always prophesied that one day, a chosen one would come, a young boy dressed in blue and red, and that he would claim the title of The Guy as his own for the rest of time. And this prophecy would soon be proven... false.
NAME: THE KID
AGE: 15
HOMETOWN: HOME
FAMILY: GRANDFATHER AND FATHER (BOTH FORMER GUYS)
LEFT HOME TO AVENGE GRANDFATHER
Boomstick: It's true that a child in the outfit did take the title of The Guy. He even grew up to have kids, and even a grand kid! But unlike the prophecy said, he didn't make it the rest of time. Hell, he didn't even out live his kids.
Wiz: This chosen guy was murdered and his Title was taken. And this infuriated his Grandson. So his grandson did the only thing he could think of. He took his Grandfather's old Cape and Gun and set out to avenge his beloved grandfather by killing the Guy and taking the title for himself.
Boomstick: And his name was..! ...Uhh...
Wiz: No name, Boomstick. He was just known as The Kid.
Boomstick: Bullshit! He's gotta have SOME kind of name. Does everyone one jut call him Kid?
Wiz: Well, yes. The only ever person who calls him by another name is The Guy himself. But that's for a different reason entirely. When The Kid finally made it to the Castle of the Guy, he entered the final room, only to find his father there.
Boomstisk: WHOA! Spoilers!
Wiz: As it turns out, The Kid's father betrayed the trust of the Grandfather and killed him to take his position. And had no qualms about trying to kill his own son to keep his title intact.
Boomstick: But luckily, this Kid is a lot tougher than his size and ever present smile would lead you to believe.
CAPE OF HERO
VERY SMALL GUN
TINY BULLETS
FOUR BULLETS AT A TIME
GIFT FROM HIS GRANDFATHER
GUN OF THE GUY
GIANT BULLETS
BULLETS GO THROUGH WALLS OR BOUNCE
SPREAD SHOT
SUPER GIANT SHOT
Boomstick: For example, This kid's packin' heat!
Wiz: The Kid mainly battles using his Grandfather's old weapon,the "Very Small Gun". While not incredibly powerful, it has an infinite supply of ammo and said ammo can take down even incredibly tough foes if the user is persistent enough. Though it can only fire four incredibly small bullets at a time.
Boomstick: Kinda pathetic if you ask me. But that doesn't matter because even if that gun isn't the best in the world, it was good enough to defeat his dear old dad and take the gun of the guy. Now THIS is a weapon. Look at the size of that thing!
Wiz: The Gun of the Guy is a lot more versatile than the Very Small Gun, with a variety of firing modes. For one, it's bullets are massive, towering over even The Kid himself. The bullets can even hit targets through walls.
Boomstick: On top of that, the gun can be charged for one super giant bullet. And this bad boy doesn't go through walls. It bounces off of them! After bouncing, it will re-aim itself at whatever the intended target for the shot was. Though the bullet IS kinda slow. But even so, He can always go for a spread shot! This attack launches out a wave of multiple giant bullets at once, Making it super hard to try and dodge.
Wiz: And finally, while not a weapon, his Grandfather's old cape has an ability of it's own. No one's exactly sure how it does it, but this cape somehow allows the kid the perform a second jump in midair, allowing himself great aerial mobility
FEATS
INSANE REACTION TIME
BEAT THE BOSSES
MIKE TYSON
DRACULA
MOTHER BRAIN
MECHA BIRDO
KRAIDGEIF
BOWSER, WART AND DR WILY
DEVIL DRAGON
THE (FORMER) GUY
SURVIVED 1 DELICIOUS FRUIT IN SUPER MEAT BOY
HELPED RESCUE BANDAGE GIRL
BECAME THE GUY
Boomstick: With nothing but his cape and gun, this Kid managed to pull off some insane shit. Like we mentioned before, he managed to avenge his grandpappy and kill his father, to take the Title of "The Guy".
Wiz: But before he could even step into the castle of the guy, The Kid had to take down the bosses guarding it. He took down the behemoth Mike Tyson. Dracula himself, from Castlevania, Kraidgeif, the unholy fusion of Kraid from Metroid and Zangeif from Street Fighter.
Boomstick: Not to mention the missile spitting Mecha Birdo and two previous death battle combatants, Dr Wily and Bowser!
Wiz: And even before he went on his quest to become the guy, The Kid helped out Super Meat Boy in his adventure to save Bandage Girl from the evil Dr Fetus. Thanks to well placed Warp Zone that let Meat Boy meet The Kid in the town of Home. Though the Canonicity of this adventure is questionable.
Boomstick: Well, canon or not, both adventures show one key thing about The Kid. He can dodge like a motherfucker!
Wiz: Due to The Kid's incredibly flimsy defences, he always has no choice but to simply dodge absolutely anything coming his way. And to say he's good at this is a LUDICROUS understatement.
Boomstick: This kid's dodged shit like the speeding apples
Wiz: Actually, they're called Delicious Fruit. And they're more like giant Cherries.
Boomstick: Whatever. They're fast, and deadly, as fuck and The Kid can dodge them. He also dodged shooting spikes, The MOON falling towards him and even bolts of freaking lighting. LIGHTNING!
Wiz: Needless to say, The Kid is not only fast enough to dodge all this, but his reaction time is so fast, it may as well be precognition. It's almost like he knows what obstacle will be around the corner waiting for him.
WEAKNESSES
SPIKES
THE MOON HATES HIM
ALMOST ALWAYS DIES IN ONE HIT
Boomstick: But, of course, there's a reason he's able to dodge so well. As we mentioned before he has no choice! The poor kid can't take a hit to save his life. Literally!
Wiz: Be it Delicious fruit, Bullet Bills, Tombstones or even a simple bird swooping down at him, so much as the slightest graze will, most of the time, cause The Kid just, well... explode, for lack of a better term.
Boomstick: His entire body just combusts, sending bits of blood everywhere. How the hell does that even happen?!
Wiz: It's gets weirder. Spikes are his kryptonite. And I don't just mean the pointed sharp part. Even touching the smooth side of spike will cause him to explode.
Boomstick: Wh-... HOW!?
Wiz: No idea, Boomstick. No Idea.
Boomstick: Welp... good thing he's not dumb enough to go brushing up against the sides of spikes then.
Wiz: Very true. Despite his insane frailty, his incredible dodging abilities more than make up for it. For his sake though, I hope Defence really is the best offence.
The Kid: Wait..! Former grandfather The Guy! You killed him!
The Guy: As you will now try to kill me... Or be killed yourself!
The Kid: NO! I WANNA BE THE GUY!
[DOORS CLOSE]
Wiz: A long, long time ago, The world was inhabited by two intelligent races. Humans and Monsters. For the longest time, these races lived in perfect peace until one day, the humans attacked.
Boomstick: Fearing the monsters' ability to absorb a human soul, they forced the monsters underground and got seven powerful wizards to place a barrier around all exits to the underground, so that anyone who entered could never leave, so the monsters would be stuck. Needless to say, the monsters weren't exactly thrilled.
Wiz: For a couple of generations, the monsters were stranded, but they never gave up hope. And they were constantly trying to figure out a way to break the magical seal. And one of the monsters working on this was a Skeleton by the name of sans.
NAME: SANS
AGE: ?
HOMETOWN: SNOWDIN
FAMILY: HIS BROTHER PAPYRUS
SOME FORM OF SCIENTIFIC BACKGROUND
Wiz: Very little is known about sans' time working as a scientist, but over the course of his job, his attitude towards life began to change, slowly becoming more hopeless and nihilistic. He hid these feelings behind a veil of jokes, bad puns and an all around goofy persona.
Boomstick: Feeling pretty bummed out, sans quit his job and moved out to the village of Snowdin with his little brother, Papyrus, where they began working as Sentry Guards, looking out for any humans who might have fallen into the underground, so they could capture them.
Wiz: After a particularly awful incident involving the King of Monster's son dying, orders were given to kill any and all humans who entered the underground. And sans, well...
Boomstick: Let's just say that sans was particularly good at this job. While it's not ever clear how many of the fallen humans sans was able to take out himself, we don't even need to know! Because it IS clear just how much of a badass this skeleton is! All thanks to a little thing called the Genocide Run.
EXPERT DODGER
TELEPORTATION
MAGIC ATTACKS
BONES
BLUE SOUL ABILITY
GASTER BLASTERS
SOUL-KINESIS
CAN SWITCH ATTACKS MID-WAY THROUGH
ATTACKS TARGET SOULS, NOT PHYSICAL FORMS
THE SPECIAL ATTACK
KARMIC RETRIBUTION
BLUE HOODIE AND SLIPPERS
Wiz: Unbeknownst to most of the inhabitants of the underground, sans was actually an incredibly powerful monster. In fact, he was likely one of the most powerful monsters in all of the underground.
Boomstick: Now hold on Wiz. Sure, the dude's got a nice supply of bad puns, but he can't be THAT powerful, right?
*Cue a clip of sans' first attack* watch?v=uYjwrTkvm40
Boomstick: Oh fuck! That's badass!
Wiz: As a monster, sans' offensive abilities are almost entirely focused on magical abilities, rather than physical attacks. See, monsters are genetically built in a completely different way to pretty much any other species. Their physical form is composed of mostly of their own soul. As such, despite having a physical form, they have very little physical presence to actually attack with.
Boomstick: So basically, they use their own souls to create magic attacks instead! But, just like a physical attack has to hit a physical form, a soul attack has to hit a soul.
Wiz: That's right. So all of sans' attacks aim for the soul, rather than the physical body. And he has a lot of attacks to use too. Such as his Soul Bones. A series of bone shaped projectiles that are launched at the target in a variety of patterns. and as a bonus, he has a special Blue attack to help compliment this attack.
Boomstick: The blue attack forces an enemy's soul to deal with gravity, to make dodging his bone magic much harder. But the bones are nothing! He's also got his Gaster Blasters. They're this weird face shaped magic guns that fire giant lasers at souls.
Wiz: Though it seems that sans is unable to use the Gaster Blasters in conjunction with the Blue Soul ability, so he's not able to limit movement too much while using them.
Boomstick: He also has an ability known as "soul-kinesis". It's sorta like telekinesis, except it only lets sans throw around souls, instead of other shit like rocks or people. This move doesn't seem to usually cause any real damage to a soul, but if he's desperate enough, it can.
Wiz: Though no matter how desperate he gets, Soul-kinesis seems to be unable to deliver a killing blow. Likely due to his stats.
Boomstick: Why? What's wrong with his stats?
Wiz: Well... Attack, defence and HP. All of sans' stats are 1.
Boomstick: What?! Then but that makes no sense! He's one of the most powerful monsters, right?
Wiz: Yes, he is. But mostly because of an ability that is entirely unique to him. Karmic Retribution. This ability is almost like a form of poison. When he attacks a soul with any ability, It will continually deal 1 unit of damage for every moment that the attack is in contact with a soul. As such, even though his stats are the minimum possible, He can deal the minimum possible damage at an unlimited rate, so long as his attack makes contact.
Boomstick: So even though he does next to no damage, he can do it infinitely in just an instant?
Wiz: Pretty much. Though as the name suggests, this ability is tied directly to the sins of the target. Specifically, their LV and EXP. That is to say, Level of Violence and Execution Points.
Boomstick: Wait, hold up. You said ALL his stats are 1, right. Even his defensive stats.
Wiz: That's right. His defence and HP are both 1 too. Meaning that even one attack is a guaranteed kill, no matter how powerful the attack is. So long as the attack has intent to harm, at least.
Boomstick: I guess that's why he's so good at dodging and teleporting, right? He kinda has to be or he's dead!
Wiz: Finally, sans has his special attack. It's never truly made clear how he does this, but sans is able to stop the foe from attacking at all. If sans' foe attempt to make an attack, sans can simply blink them back to their previous position.
Boomstick: Wha... HOW?!
Wiz: I have no proof of this, and it's just a theory, but it's likely to do with his temporal knowledge, in combination with his ability to switch his own attacks midway through... but that's a total guess. The point is, sans can keep his foe from making any attack, so long as sans himself makes no attacks either.
FEATS
TELEPORTED FROM WATERFALL TO GRILLBY'S
ABLE TO DODGE ATTACKS FROM GENOCIDE-FRISK
POSSIBLY KILLED GENOCIDE-FRISK UP TO 12 TIMES
CAPABLE OF BEATING A SOULLESS BEING MULTIPLE TIMES
AWARE OF UNDERTALE GAME MECHANICS
Wiz: His stats may be low, but sans' achievements prove that he knows how to handle himself. His teleportation is powerful enough to allow him instant movement from his sentry post in waterfall all the way to his favourite bar, Grillby's. And he was able to take Frisk with him too!
Boomstick: Let's not forget his in-battle achievements too! Given he can only ever take one hit, that means for his entire life, he's be able to avoid every single attack that attempted to harm him. Including the serial killer, Genocide-frisk... mostly.
Wiz: And not only that, thanks to his awareness of alternate timeliness, if we assume every line of dialogue in undertale canonically happened at some point, it's totally possible that he killed the LVL 19 Genocide-frisk upwards of 12 times!
Boomstick: And Genocide-Frisk was able to kill the human-killing Mettaton NEO and the nigh-unstoppable Undyne, in her undying form!
Wiz: It's also important to note that some of Flowey's dialogue implies that at some point, he had fought sans and repeatedly lost. Which is incredibly impressive for one reason. Flowey is a soul-less being, which means he has no soul to act as a target for sans' magic attacks, which means despite his stats and biology as a monster, sans was able to kill Flowey with a physical attack!
Boomstick: On top of everything, sans is also fully aware of all the mechanics of his world as a game. He knows how LV and EXP works and can also sense it somehow, understands the save ability and knows how to abuse RPG battle systems to keep his enemies from fighting.
WEAKNESSES
ALL STATS ARE 1
CAN GROW FATIGUED AND TIRED
INCREDIBLY LAZY
SOMETIMES A LITTLE OVER CONFIDENT
Wiz: Despite all this, it's important to remember that sans is NOT invincible. Far from it, in fact. It most likely took an incredibly amount of trial and error, but Genocide-Frisk DID eventually defeat sans. For a number of reasons actually.
Boomstick: sans is super lazy. He spends most of his free time slacking off, telling jokes and hanging out at Grillby's. Not a bad way to live, if i do say so myself. But it does mean he probably doesn't get much practice or exercise.
Wiz: As a side effect, sans hasn't got a lot of stamina. It won't take a super long time for him to grow fatigued and lazy mid fight, which causes him to start cutting corners or going for cheap shots in hopes of a quick win.
Boomstick: And if that doesn't work, he might even just fall asleep right there and then in the middle of battle. Though he can still dodge attacks in his sleep... somehow.
Wiz: But unfortunately, he's also at least a little bit cocky. He's more than happy to smile and taunt even major threats to his own safety. This ultimately led to his death in the Genocide run when he decided to taunt Genocide-Frisk, not expecting a double attack.
Boomstick: C'mon, sans. Focus! Save the puns and one-lines for AFTER the death. It's not that hard.
Wiz: sans's drawbacks hold him back from being truly unstoppable, but his dodging is still top quality and his power incredible. In short, if you mess with this skeleton, you're definitely in for a bad time.
sans: please, if you're listening... let's forget all of this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and... well, my job will be a lot easier..
*Frisk attacks sans ans he effortlessly dodges.*
sans: welp, it was worth a shot. guess you like doing things the hard way, huh?
[DOORS CLOSE]
Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all.
Boomstick: It's time for a DEATH BATTLE!
[DOORS CLOSE]
*Cue Undertale - In My Way* watch?v=gtc6LniCvYg
sans stood alone in the judgement hall. it had been less than a day since the human child had emerged from the ruins of the Snowdin Forest, and the young boy had been bolting through the underground at an incredible speed, happily killing anyone who stood in his way for more than a few seconds. sans didn't know what this kid was up to, but he couldn't let this kid go any further.
And then, he arrived. The door at the end of the hallway burst open and a young boy with wild hair and a red cape came running in. His gun in hand, he completely ignored sans and jumped over him. He was heading right for the door.
"oh no you don't..." sans said, giving a flick of his wrist, and four giant bones sprang up from the ground, blocking the door and Stopping the kid from getting too close to it. "you think you can just go right past me after everything you've done. you need to be judged fairly, just like anyone el-."
*Cut all music*
"DIE MONSTER! You don't belong in this world!" The Kid suddenly shouted out in his unusually high pitched voice, turning to face sans.
"...say what now?" sans replied. If he had eyebrows, one of them would have raised.
*Cue IWBTG - Castle of the Guy* watch?v=m1N6IqIq_Rg
"So! You're the latest boss to try and stand in my way. Well, TOO BAD. I'm the guy and I gotta protect my title! So I gotta get back to my castle if I wanna keep being the guy! And the only way to do that is to get out of here. If that means killing you to open the door, then so be it!"
sans' eyes grew pitch black and his smile grew wider. "you killed monsters throughout the underground... to protect your title? heh heh heh... on days like this, kids like you... should burning in hell." sans' left eye began to glow bright blue, initiating combat and causing The Kid's soul to appear before him.
FIGHT
sans immediately activated his soul-kinesis, causing the Kid's soul to become blue and drop to the ground. As if sensing something was going to happen, The Kid jumped up, bringing his soul with him to avoid the bones as they shot out of the floor. Once they had retracted, The Kid Landed again and his soul had turned back to red, he glanced up and noticed a giant wall of bones heading towards him, with one gap near the top. He leapt up once again, noticing this time that his soul was still following him. He tried to stay airborne as the wall continued to pass, but eventually he began to fall... but he fell right through the bones without them hurting him. He did noticed however, that he'd somehow kept his soul airborne. And then he got it. That little red heart was the only part the skeleton could hit!
Once the wall of bones had past, sans continued right on by summoning four Gaster blasters around The Kid's soul in a square. They fired, but The Kid kept his soul in the centre, avoiding the beams. Then four more came in, rearranged differently. This time they were aimed directly at The Kid's soul, in a cross shape. He quickly brought his soul out of the way to the left. As if sans knew he would do that, the original four Gaster blasters returned in the square shape and The Kid quickly dragged his soul back to the centre. And then finally, after those four blasters left, two more GIANT blasters flew in, aiming at the soul from opposite directions. The both fired off a giant beam and The Kid quickly brought his soul upwards to avoid it.
*Cue Undertale - The song that might play when you fight sans.* watch?v=41YOknSl0zw
After those two blaster left, sans simply smile at The Kid again. "heh... a perfect dodge of my first attack. not bad kid. you're a quick learner. let's see how quickly you learn that surrender is the only option." and then he stopped. The Kid took this chance to whip out his Very Small Gun and fire off a volley of four bullets directly at sans. But, of course, the Skeleton deftly dodged out of the way. "bullets, eh? don't see many non-magic projectiles down in the underground. my turn!"
Once again, sans raised his hand and turned The Kid's soul blue again. With an upward flick of his skeletal wrist, The Kid's soul shot upwards, slamming into the roof. On instinct, The Kid tried to pull his soul back, making it jump out of reach of a group of bones that suddenly shot out from the roof, attempting to hit the soul. sans didn't let up though. He continued to flick his wrist in different directions and attempt bone attacks, but The Kid continued to narrowly avoid the bones.
Once The Kid's soul returned to it's original red colour, he leapt right into action. Literally! He leapt right up into the air, double jumping and firing his gun down at sans. He tried to fire all over the place, but sans, once again, managed to dodge all 4 bullets with ease. "Stay still already!" Yelled out The Kid as he landed again.
"what? you really think i'll just stand and take it? i'm not that kinda skeleton". More bones began hurtling towards The Kid's soul, which had once again been turned blue. The kid made his soul jump out of the way but just as he cleared the attack, everything went black. Just for a split second. When everything came back to normal, The Kid's soul was right in front of him again, with an odd pattern of bones flying right towards him. Acting quickly, he once again timed his soul's jumps just right to weave through the pattern. Then the world cut to black again. This time when everything came back, it was the first attack again, with more bones shooting at The Kid's soul.
The Kid's soul jumped again, only to be hit with another sudden black out. When the world came back, his soul was red again, but there was a Gaster blaster right behind him. It fired and The Kid was hit dead on! His soul was blasted and he quickly moved it out of the way. Despite his body being untouched, pain shot through him from the blast that hit his heart. And the pain seemed to grow every second thanks to the Karmic Retribution. With The Kid momentarily caught off guard by the attack, sans raised his hand and another Gaster Blaster materialized in front of The Kid and fired. The blast completely engulfed the Kid and his soul and the boy quickly leapt back out of the laser, panting and trying incredibly hard to catch his breath. He looked like he was on his last legs.
*Cut all music*
"heh heh heh... you're looking pretty tired there kid." sans said, walking a little closer to The Kid, while the karmic retribution slowly whittled down The Kid's HP. "Y'know... There's an easier way to end this fight."
*Cue Undertale - The Choice* watch?v=C4Wv5M9JPao
"you've cause a lot of pain to all the monsters living underground. but despite all your murder, i still don't think your a bad kid. just... misguided." sans said, offering his skeletal hand out to The Kid. "you don't have to kill anyone. you could come with me. we could be buddies. we could end this silly fight right here and move on with our lives. Wha'd'ya say?"
The Kid slowly pulled himself up from his crouched position, allowing his soul to float freely in front of him once again. The karmic retribution had taken him down to just a few HP. He glanced down to sans' extended hand, then down at his Very Small Gun. Then, with a Grimace, The Kid threw his gun aside.
"that's it, kid. c'mere. let's hug it out." sans said, preparing a secret attack. But then The Kid responded in a way he hadn't expected.
"...NO!" The kid yelled, and then, from seemingly nowhere, he whipped out the towering weapon, the Gun of the Guy. "I WANNA BE THE GUY!"
*Cue Undertale – Megalovania* watch?v=ZcoqR9Bwx1Y
The Kid took aim and sans' eyes suddenly grew wide. The Kid pulled the trigger and a large bullet of energy shot from the gun towards sans, and the skeleton quickly warped out of the way. "the hell..?!" The Kid wasn't done yet though. He continued to fire, launching bullet after bullet towards sans. Without even taking his hands out of his pockets, sans continued evading to seemingly no limit. It was crazy how fast he moved. It was impossible to tell if he was sidestepping the bullets or teleporting out of the way. Each of the bullets that missed phased right through the wall of the Judgement hall after the passed sans.
"Stay still, Monster!" The Kid shouted out, switching his gun to spreadshot mode. With a single pull of the trigger, the gun fired off a massive wave of even bigger bullets. sans quickly dodged past the wave, only to see another wave heading at him. And another, and another! Starting to get a little frustrated, sans continued doing what he did best. Warping back and forth and sliding left and right, sans was forced to put a lot more effort into his dodging. Sweat began to form on the brow of his skull.
As sans began getting closer and closer with each dodge, The Kid jumped up high, using his cape to propel himself even higher and fired off one more wave of massive bullets down at sans. "oh no you don't..." sans said, it was almost a growl even. Even now, while panting for breath, he warped forward, narrowly avoiding the wave of energy bullets. The moment he was out of danger, his left eye flashed bright blue and sans raised his hand. With a solid swing down, he brought The Kid's soul flying back to slam into the floor.
*Cue IWBTG - The Guy Fight* watch?v=tqBwVk3dcdA
The Kid pulled back on his cap and dropped back down to the ground to be level with sans once again. "y-you don't know... w-when to give up... do you..?" sans said, in between breaths. As if on cue, The Kid immediately raised his gun and fired one more, absolutely MASSIVE energy bullet at sans. And, of course, sans dodged right out of the way. "ok. that's it!" sans said, getting a little more frustrated. Using his soul-kinesis once again, her began flailing his left arm wildly, throwing The Kid's soul all over the place and slamming it into every wall or surface he could, shaving off the last of The Kid's HP until he was at 1HP, but no matter how much he slammed the soul around after that, it refused to go any lower. The Kid was barely standing.
The Kid didn't give up though. He raised his gun and began to pull the trigger when... DING! There was a high-pitched short ringing noise, and The Kid's gun was back by his side. He raise the weapon to sans again. DING! and again! DING! "sorry kid. but if we keep going on how we're going, you're eventually gonna get a lucky shot. i'm not gonna let that happen. as long as it's still my turn, you're not gonna be able to make another att-"
*Cut all music*
BAM!
"w-what..?" sans said, eyes wide in shock. That last shot that he dodged. The absolutely massive energy bullet... it continued travelling after it missed and bounced off of the far wall, to come back and hit sans in the back while he was busy with The Kid. "n-no way... heh heh... w-welp... guess that's that. i-i'm... heading to... g-grillbys..." and just like that, sans closed his eyes and fell apart, disintegrating into dust...
*Cue IWBTG - Game Over* watch?v=nmBwqRhGznI
"YEAH!" The Kid cheered happily, seemingly forgetting about all of the soul damage he'd taken. And just like that, he picked up his Very Small Gun then walked off and out of the now unblocked judgement hall, onwards towards the barrier back to the human world!
[DOORS CLOSE]
K.O.
*Cue IWBTG - Ending theme* watch?v=mHxm-SOlJ4g
The Kid makes his way towards the barrier keeping him underground and tries to break out. Asgore approaches him confused. Meanwhile, in the judgement hall, a small pile of dust lays in the middle of the room, with a bottle of ketchup in the centre of it.
Boomstick: ONE PUUUUUUNCH! Or, well... One bullet I guess
Wiz: While sans is a great evader and has some incredibly powerful soul magic, it simply wasn't enough to take down The Kid.
Boomstick: Yeah I mean... it's not hard to figure out when you realize that only one of them has a 100% dodge rate, y'know?
Wiz: True. First, in regards to The Kid, his reaction speed AND dodging speed outranks anything sans could do. He was able to avoid lightning bolts which, as we mentioned in a previous episode, move at 98,348,800 meters per second. Around 1 third of the speed of light! sans has never had to dodge anything that fast before.
Boomstick: But didn't Frisk dodge lightning in various battles. Including against Asriel Dreemurr? And he was able to fight with Undyne too! And she could run SUPER fast! Shouldn't sans scale to that?
Wiz: Well, actually, Frisk has never once dodged real lightning. Sure, his SOUL has dodged lightning themed magic attacks. But there is absolutely nothing to suggest this magic was actual lightning. It only target's his soul after all. On top of that. Asriel's lightning attack is heavily telegraphed for Frisk so he's able to get out of the way before the bolt can fire. As for Undyne, It's true that her running speed is through the roof... but well... that doesn't mean Frisk is the same. During Frisk's fight with Undyne, she never ONCE attempts to dodge an attack or even move. Frisk can miss by not aiming correctly. But Undyne stays still during the entire fight. As show in the pacifist run by the fact that upon selecting the run option, she has not moved at all. And during a genocide run, upon the fight ending, Geno-Frisk is still in the exact same spot he began in.
Boomstick: But he must be moving! His soul moves around all the time during the fights!
Wiz: Yes. his SOUL moves. Not his body. As shown by the Muffet fight, in which his soul is free to move, despite his body being completely sealed in webbing. All of this proves that there is absolutely no evidence that Frisk would have any kind of speed feats for sans to scale against. He's simply dodging a child waving a knife at him.
Boomstick: Riiiight. And I'm pretty sure a bullet is faster than a knife. So it makes sense it would be tougher to dodge.
Wiz: That said, it wouldn't exactly be a piece of cake for The Kid to dodge either. The Kid is used to more physical foes and has to focus on actually using his body to evade attacks in a fight. As such, it would be a big assumption to conclude he would be able to adapt to the Underground's soul system flawlessly. So taking a few hits would be inevitable. Lucky for him, none of sans' attacks deliver any significant physical damage.
Boomstick: Right! Because sans has a monster soul, right?
Wiz: You're learning, Boomstick! That's right. A monster's soul is incredibly weak in comparison to a Human's soul. That's why a child such as Frisk is able to kill powerful monsters such as Undyne and Asgore with only a little effort. As such, physical attacks from a monster have next to no effect on The Kid. And seeing as the kid survived re-entry after his fight with Mike Tyson, it makes sense he's be able to withstand a small physical attack from the likes of sans' bones magic.
Boomstick: But... wait a sec. Wasn't it implied that Sans was able to kill Flowey? Flowey doesn't have soul, so that would mean sans'd have to beat him with physical attacks!
Wiz: Exactly. Since Flowey has NO soul, that would make him even weaker than both monsters and humans in his base form. So even the weak soul of a monster would be capable of killing him. However, none of this really mattered anyway. Since sans would've had to rely on soul magic to kill The Kid, then The Kid would have the same advantage that Frisk had. EXP and LOVE.
Boomstick: The Kid has killed in the past. Even his own father! So he must've gained execution points and increased his level of violence before his trip underground. So yeah, he'd be vulnerable to Karmic Retribution, but he'd also have a shit-ton of chances to tank hits before he actually keeled over.
Wiz: That's right. And given only a short time, it wouldn't be hard for The Kid to get used to the Soul Battle System, so it would only be so long until he'd be completely untouchable. Unlike sans, who grows fatigued and cocky quickly.
Boomstick: Well that's just too bad. Looks like sans was BONED from the start.
Wiz: The winner is The Kid.
[DOORS CLOSE]
Boomstick: Next tiiiiiime on Death Battle!
Voice 1: I knew you'd ketchup to me sooner or later! How I've relished this meeting!
Voice 2: Hehehe… You thought you were number 1. But turns out you're number 2! And now you're circling the drain!