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Ignore the mistakes. Haven't even proofread it even once. I need to sleep. I have to wake up in potentially four hours.
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Word Count : 9567
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that seems familiar.
"Being in denial never resolved any problem
For anyone,
Anywhere." – Muhammad Haider
Chapter Thirteen : Fools of Nature
A soft hum ricocheted across the large bedroom as Felicity turned, her face landing on the plush pillow. Closing her eyes tightly, she opened her mouth, trying to get rid of her blonde hair that had landed in her mouth. She almost opened her right eye but then the light in the room felt too much and she closed it.
She lifted her face, her eyes still closed tightly and suddenly her head hurt. A sharp pain hit her head and she slammed it against the pillow, "Oh god."
Mumbling to herself, she turned around, her back towards the bed, her legs all over it. Groaning to herself, she pressed her right hand on her head, massaging it as she finally opened her eyes, "Frack." She mumbled while massaging her head before her vision cleared and she blinked repeatedly, trying to analyse where she was.
A gasp escaped her lips as she lifted herself up with the help of her elbows. She moved her head around and although her head was being hammered on the inside, nothing beat this. She pivoted her head towards the right, looking for her glasses.
Wearing them, she blinked before she looked at the room.
"What the-"
Nothing had changed really.
There was a plasma TV right in front of the bed. The ensuite bathroom right beside it. Towards the right, they were two closets that were once filled with their clothes. The aura of the room once felt homely. That was one of the reasons why she had chosen light shades of colour brown for this house. It was home and it needed to be felt like one.
It was their home.
But now it wasn't.
It was a house.
Just a house.
Felicity closed her eyes tightly as her head landed on the white mattress with a thump.
What in the world was she doing here?
…
"Oliver." Felicity uttered the minute she entered the living room, finding the guy in question standing in the kitchen. In normal situations, she would have shouted. God, she would have used her loud voice and God, did she want to but her head felt like it was being hammered by a carpenter and the loud voice didn't help much.
"Felicity." That was the way Oliver greeted her, a small smile on his lips and Felicity almost felt like déjà vu. It was like old times. She waking up to find him cooking-trying to cook, only this time it was different.
Way different.
"What the fuck am I doing here?" Felicity didn't swear...much. At least not the word 'fuck'. She did have a few words reserved though. Like frack or asshole. Oliver usually happened to be at the receiving end of it just like now. She must be really angry.
Oliver blinked before rolling his eyes. He expected this sort of reaction, "You got drunk last night." He told her before turning around and pulling out a mug for her from the cupboard.
"I got what?"
Oliver turned to face her again. His eyes looked clouded and Felicity was sure that something was running through his brain. She crossed her arms, her head tilted towards right, "I got what?" She bit out again when she got no reaction from him.
Oliver sighed. Of course, she didn't remember. How could she? She was totally whacked out of her mind, he was stupid enough to think that she would actually remember.
He's my husband.
I never was with Ray.
I tried seeing him, you know?
I love you.
I missed you.
"Drunk." Oliver started, "Drugged." He corrected, "The drink that you had at my house." He paused, his voice trailing off. He didn't know how to tell her, "It was spiked." Felicity's eyes widened behind her glasses, "Spiked?" Her voice rose and she cringed for a second, "You spiked my drink! How low can you stoop?"
Oliver eyebrows rose, "I didn't spike it!" He defended himself and Felicity scoffed, "Yeah right. Like I am supposed to believe that." She rolled her eyes, a gesture which hurt a lot and she mentally made a note to not do it in the future, "As if the leftover thing wasn't enough. Now, you want to flaunt it, right? That you have moved on and I'm still stuck in the past." She was angry but she did mean the last statement.
Because the truth was, she was.
She was still stuck in the past. Despite the moving on, despite the sessions, despite getting a dose of reality a part of her was still stuck in here. She was making progress, doesn't mean she had gotten over it. It still hurt and she didn't know whether she would ever get over it or not and he had. Of course, they had loved their son. Of course, they felt melancholy and grief over it but Oliver somehow had gotten used to the pain while Felicity was still going through the initial stages. He had a girlfriend, a support system from his family and Felicity did too but it didn't make up for a lost son and a lost husband. He left her, he was okay (it hurt to think how casual it was for him) but she wasn't really over it. And the realization was painful.
It hurt more than she thought it would.
"Do you seriously think that low of me?" Oliver gritted out through his clenched teeth, "Don't you know me at all?"
"That's the thing Oliver," Felicity turned her face away, "I never knew you at all."
And she didn't. Because the Oliver she fell in love with was different. She had never anticipated in her entire life that he would be leaving her and giving up on their relationship. She would admit it, that she wasn't perfect and she had made mistakes too but didn't everyone? He let go. He didn't stand by her. He walked out on her. She remembered believing that she didn't deserve him or Conner and it was her fault. She had gotten over that. But sometimes she believed that she hadn't accepted that it wasn't her fault but had gotten used to the guilt. Maybe she had. Maybe she hadn't. But she didn't deserve Oliver leaving her.
She didn't.
Oliver flinched visibly as the statement escaped her lips. His eyebrows furrowed as he searched for words to say. How could Felicity think of him this way? That wasn't the only question that was going through his mind though.
Why did he care about her opinion?
"I didn't do it." Oliver told her and Felicity turned to face him. Oliver's face softened, "It was a mistake. That bottle belonged to a customer at the club who had it spiked. I didn't know it. I didn't do it. Trust me."
His blue eyes were shining with sincerity and Felicity bit her lip. "I do." And she did. She might have been angry and might have uttered a couple of words (she did mean the last line though…sort of) but despite everything she trusted him.
Knowing their history, she didn't know why. He was always there for her when they were together and she never doubted that. But then things happened and her perceptions changed.
Or maybe they hadn't.
Maybe she was still in denial.
But he was speaking the truth.
He was.
"How come we landed up here?" She mumbled, her voice turning soft and Oliver bit his lip before shoving the mug that was filled with black coffee, "I don-"
"You have headache right now." Oliver cut her off. Maybe a small part of him was grateful for that or she would have screaming at him by now. But still..she did manage to hurt him, didn't she? "Drink this and then also, if the headache doesn't go away in half an hour, you know where the aspirin is."
Felicity looked at him before taking the mug, "How did we end up here?" Oliver then shoved a plate in her direction that had two butter toasts on it.
"You weren't revealing where your house is."
"Really?" Felicity's eyebrows rose up, "Yup." Oliver declared before sighing, "Every time the response was that I live in a house, on a street." Oliver grinned lightly.
"You shouldn't have."
"I know." He paused, "But I had no other option."
"You should-"Oliver could see her expression, her gaze lingering at the floor and he spoke before he could think. He needed to distract her, "You did a say a lot of things last night though."
This grabbed her attention and Oliver smiled a little. Felicity frowned as if trying to recall last night but it was all blank. "Like what?"
You said you loved me.
That you missed me.
That you almost tried committing suicide.
That you never were with Ray.
Last night, Oliver thought a lot. He didn't fall asleep right after Felicity fell asleep. Instead, his mind ran a thousand miles playing the past events in his mind. He honestly could have called Laurel, Tommy or anyone but he chose not to.
Did she try to commit suicide?
His heart had rattled with fear at the thought of it. He had lost his son, his dad-had Felicity really reached that stage?
He had made a mental note to look into it further and had tried not to think about it. The thought itself gave him chills.
Despite everything, he wasn't ready to lose her.
He had in one sense, but still he wasn't.
He wasn't.
He was sure he would lose himself then.
He also found himself thinking about her I love you. He won't admit it to himself but he would have said it back had he not given it a thought.
He did think about her I love you.
He had missed her despite everything.
Last night's admission did make him realize that.
The old her.
Their memories.
But did he love her?
His heart had started saying something different after a long while.
But he refused to accept it.
She couldn't love him.
Otherwise she wouldn't have cheated.
Which brought him to the 'I never was with Ray' part.
That was wrong.
Nope.
Never.
"You hugged a guy thinking it was Dumbledore." Oliver told her and Felicity's mouth parted open, "No way!"
"Uhuh." Oliver nodded, "You kept saying you're alive and you also, wanted to call Sam and Dean..?" He fumbled with the words and Felicity blinked, "I need to stop watching TV."
Oliver chuckled as she walked towards the couch, "So, this is like your place?" She sat on the couch, a sense of longing in her tone, "Like you come here often? With Laurel?" She didn't know why she uttered the last part, "And the others?"
"Laurel has never been here." Oliver declared, "The others have but they don't stay." Felicity looked at him with a questioning gaze and knew she wanted to know why but he didn't answer.
Felicity didn't say anything either.
"I slept in jeans." Felicity groaned as she sat on the couch, Indian style, "Now my insides are all sweaty."
Oliver crossed his arms as he leaned against the slab, his right brow risen as he grinned recalling her statement. He was about to open his mouth but Felicity looked up the last second.
"Don't. Just don't."
Oliver let out a breathy laugh.
….
Felicity gripped the edge of the door as she peaked in the nursery that once belonged to her son. Her eyes had moistened but she wasn't bawling which was a good sign considering her recent track record with crying.
"He shouldn't have brought me here." Felicity mumbled to herself as she entered the room. To be very honest, she wanted to see the nursery and maybe even think about Conner. The pain was there because honestly, she believed it would never fade away. She did feel like crying but she didn't. It wasn't Conner's memories that were hurting her at this point, it was theirs.
Oliver's.
Which is why, she didn't really want to stay in this house.
She might be at peace (almost) with Conner but she wasn't at peace with Oliver.
"I knew that you would come here," Oliver murmured and Felicity turned around. She looked at him for a second before her gaze flickered back to the room. Since the time, she had come back to Starling, everything that was related to her late son reminded her of him. And each time, she found herself getting hit with this realization that he was gone and she comes one step closer to embracing reality.
Back in Central City, she usually ignored the feeling. The emptiness. She usually embraced it when his birthday or any other important day would be approaching but in Starling, each day she found herself face to face with it. And she was conquering it.
But what about Oliver and she?
"You know, Felicity," Oliver started and she turned her head towards him, "You told me you were stuck in the past. The truth is, we all are." He murmured softly, "We still haven't let go of it."
But how could they have? The question lingered on their lips. For moving on you need support, they needed each other but life had something else in store for them.
She would have asked, but she was hurt and she was a tad bit angry too.
"The next time you bring me here without my permission, I would feed all of your wealth to the dolphins." Felicity stated firmly before walking past him and Oliver sighed while moving his sideways. His peripheral vision caught her retreating figure and he felt a pang in his chest on seeing her cold behaviour.
He sighed to himself before making an about turn and following her.
….
Felicity leaned against the elevator wall and Oliver looked at her, millions of question in his head but he shook his head before fixating his gaze at the door waiting for it to open any moment.
It was weird. Almost a month back, when the two of them had their first encounter in the elevator itself at QC, Oliver remembered glaring at her and even she rolled her eyes at him. But now, they weren't even seeing each other, but something had vanished.
Of course, they didn't like the other person. They still hated each other but something had changed.
Oliver wasn't sure what though.
The elevator dinged and the second it opened, Oliver's eyes widened and Felicity cringed as the flashes of the camera hit her. It didn't help the fact that her headache had just gotten away and now, the flashes were hitting her eyes. She brought a hand in front of her face before closing her eyes as the throbbing in her head returned and Oliver in a second had pressed the button to close the lift.
"Media?" Oliver muttered, "Who the hell informed them?" Felicity closed her eyes as she leaned her head against the wall, "Press, really?" She said under her breath, "They are like dogs."
The two reached back to their floor and Oliver stepped out of the lift. Felicity raised her eyebrows and Oliver moved his head forward, "It's the house or the media."
Felicity huffed before narrowing her eyes at him. She forced a sarcastic grin, "Fine."
…
April 2009
"You remember how I told you that I was fine with the reporters following us across the town?" Felicity looked up at Oliver who hummed in reply.
"I think I was lying." She bit her lip, her gaze flickering towards the tree that she was pretty sure was a hiding spot for one of the paps, "I always think that they are people following us."
"Because they are." Oliver said nonchalantly and Felicity gaped at him before shoving his arm, "How can you be this calm?"
Oliver rubbed his arm, "Why do you always hit me?" Felicity glared at him and Oliver sighed, "Fine. I keep forgetting that you are new to this. I-I've grown up with these things happening to me so I'm used to it. I don't like it, but I can't help it."
"You should at least try," Felicity crossed her arms across her chest as the two of them stopped. They were in park. It was a beautiful night with the moonlight falling on all the trees. Felicity could see the dew drops on the leaves that were on the verge of falling. It was about to rain and that is what made Felicity drag Oliver here. She loved the smell of wet mud and the rain was something that she always had found beautiful. So, here she was with Oliver.
But some sneaky people were ruining their fun.
"Your life isn't a reality television show, Oliver." She stated firmly and Oliver bit his lip before nodding, "You're right. I'll talk to dad about it."
He had always loved the limelight, the spotlight. But now, he preferred the cosy and sweet moments he had with Felicity and he wanted it to be private unlike the way his past self would have wanted.
Things really had changed.
"Good." Felicity smiled before hooking her arm with Oliver's, "Or maybe I should talk to them. Your dad loves me anyway."
"You're so cocky."
"What? It's the truth." Felicity grinned, "Hell his mother likes me. You're just jealous because they love me more."
"I'm not."
"You are." Oliver's face was hovering near her, a smile full of amusement on his lips and Felicity grinned back. He leaned forward trying to steal a kiss when the camera flashed causing Felicity and Oliver to pull away with a groan.
Oliver turned towards the man who had his camera clenched in his hand. He began to strive forward but the man started backing away before gaining speed and running away. He seemed scared.
Felicity pulled his hand back and Oliver's gaze was still fixed in the direction in which the guy had ran away, "Hey." Felicity tilted his face towards herself, "Don't fight them on your own."
"Why?" Oliver frowned, "I should teach them a lesson-"
"You'll talk to your dad." Felicity told him and Oliver huffed. The latter pulled his arm and his eyebrows rose, "What are you doing?"
Her gaze flickered around to the people in the park before fixating itself on Oliver. She pulled his arm and he followed her reluctantly, the two of them going towards the area under a tree that was in one corner. It was pretty dark and remote and in normal situations, Felicity would have felt a bit scared.
But she wasn't.
She pulled Oliver towards himself and his eyes widened, "What are you doing?"
"Spending some private time with my boyfriend." Felicity shrugged as she wrapped her arms around his neck and bringing her lips dangerously close to his. Oliver felt warm breath on his lips and he almost groaned as Felicity pulled away, "What?"
"Nothing." Felicity just wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Oliver groaned before he pulled her arms that were around him and slammed her against the tree, not too harshly though.
His mouth covered hers and Felicity almost moaned, her hands travelling underneath his t-shirt, his muscles clenching as she did so. Her other hand pressed his shoulder tightly as she bit his lip before she soothed the pain with her tongue and Oliver groaned, his mouth travelling towards the neck and Felicity tilted it sideways, her hands clenching. His one hand rested against the tree which he slowly shifted towards the back of her head while the other was on her waist and gradually, his hold loosened causing Felicity to frown. "What?" She asked, her lips slightly swollen.
"Don't start something you wouldn't finish."
Felicity blinked before realizing where her hand was and she blushed before pulling away. "Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, I want it but not here. Park is definitely not the place for it. It's wet and soft but still not good. I mean wet and soft it is good-not like that! Definitely not like that," Felicity uttered, "I just imagined this in my bedroom or yours-just in a," Felicity bit her lip, "Bedroom."
Felicity felt like maybe she shouldn't talk.
Maybe Oliver wasn't ready and she was just making him nervous-
Oliver kissed her again.
Okay, so maybe he was ready.
Not for that!
Not in the park.
In a house.
Definitely in a house.
…
The two entered the house and Oliver immediately reached for the phone that was attached to his wall and called the guard telling him to make sure no one comes up and to get everyone out. Then he went to pick up his mobile that was being charged at the other end. He had just wanted to drop Felicity off and according to her, her house was only a few miles away so he had decided that he would come back in here and probably rest. He also had switched off his phone after sending a message to Thea and Laurel that he was safe and at his old house. He knew they were minimal chances of Thea visiting due to it being Valentine's Day and all and Laurel had never visited this place before. She knew where it was and how much it meant to him. He had never asked her to come here and she never questioned him either.
Today was Valentine's Day and he vividly remembered the promises he had made to his mother and Laurel but he needed some time alone. To rest and to think about last night. He would probably call John later on because he needed his insight. But right now, he needed a break. His phone had been switched off and he knew it was pretty careless but he needed a break and a good sleep.
At night the landline of his house did ring once but he was too lazy to get up and he was pretty sure that it was either Thea or Laurel.
The sound of the television snapped him out of his reverie and Felicity was sitting on the couch, his tablet in her hand. "That's my tablet." He didn't see her fetching it from his room.
Felicity glared at him but didn't reply back. Oliver sighed before going to his bedroom and getting her an aspirin. Returning to the living room the next second, he placed one of the table along with a glass of water. Felicity eyed it warily before taking it and Oliver didn't say anything while going back to the kitchen to keep the glass in the sink.
His ears perked up at the sound of news reporter.
"Well, it seems like history is repeating itself. Oliver Queen was spotted with his ex-wife Felicity Smoak. Maybe the two of them were spending some quality time together on Valentine's Day. It's been almost three years since the Starling City 'It' couple has broken up and it seems like they are finding their way back to each other. "
The lady on the screen smiled brightly, a picture of Oliver and Felicity popping up on the screen. It was a picture that dated a few years back. Felicity was grinning in it, her hand in Oliver's who was looking at her, his eyes full of love. It was a pretty subtle moment and the timing was pretty impeccable.
A second later, another photo popped up on the screen. This was yesterday's, Felicity's hand was in Oliver's. And this picture she was the one who was looking up at him kinda similar to the way he was in the previous picture.
"However, there is still one heart that is broken at the knowledge of our favourite couple uniting." A picture of Laurel popped up on the screen and Oliver groaned, "Laurel Lance had reportedly been dating Oliver Queen since January 2014." She paused for dramatic effect and that was all it took for Felicity to switch off the television.
She turned her head towards her ex-husband, "Oliver!" She glared at him, "This is all your fault!"
"My fault! You got drugged!" Oliver pointed out, "After you gave me that drink in the first place."
"It wasn't my intention. And I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep an eye out at the reporters because I was busy looking out for you."
"Yeah but-frack, this is such a mess." Felicity started, "People believe we are together again! Do you even realize how bad could this be, Oliver? Like together, together which we are not. They have misunderstood the entire thing. I mean you and I can't even stand each other. What if they ask us to give an interview?" She frowned, "We won't be able to. And what if they ask your family? Oh my god! You're family, Oliver! They will slaughter me. Well, figuratively of course." She tilted her head, "Or maybe not. I do co-own the company after all-"
"Felicity," Oliver stopped her short, "Calm down." She took a deep breath, "I'm handling this." Oliver raised one finger in the air and placed his mobile against his ear. His voicemail was full of messages and a list of missed calls were displayed on his screen. He was pretty sure that his entire family knew.
Felicity stood up. She hugged the tablet to her chest before walking towards the balcony and stood near the door. She could see reporters standing outside and her lips turned upside down, "They are like animals."
"I talked to Reece," Oliver told her and Felicity shot him a questioning gaze, "He is from the PR department. They are sending people here." He told her, "I don't know how they spotted us last night."
Silence ensued for a split second before, "Oliver?"
"Yeah?"
"Did..did something happen last night?" Felicity bit her lip as she looked at him and Oliver shook his head, "No. Nothing happened last night."
Well, except you may have uttered something here and there.
"Good." Felicity nodded her head. She slid her finger across the tablet, "You still don't put a passcode on them?" She frowned and Oliver shook his head, "You know I don't use them, Felicity." Oliver's gaze was on his phone as he talked to her. She shrugged before getting comfortable on the couch.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to look into a few news agencies."
Oliver huffed a chuckle before vacating the living room.
Hacking is such an angry word, Oliver.
…
"Yes John, "Oliver nodded his head while talking to him, "She is safe. And no, she didn't do anything stupid." He continued, "Now would you please see that the crowd goes away? And yes, do meet me after that. We need to talk." Oliver hung up his cell before dialling another number.
"Hey Laurel," He started as he leaned against the window in his room, "Yeah, I'm so sorry." He pressed the bridge of his nose with his left hand, "I know, it was reckless." He muttered out the last part.
"What about the news, Ollie? Were you really with her?"
"Yeah, about that." Oliver didn't know where to begin from, "It's long story. I'll explain it to you when I reach home, okay?"
He heard her sigh on the other end, "I just-"There was a brief pause, "I don't know why, I feel insecure when she is around. I know I should talk to you about this in person but I just-I just don't want to lose you. I love you, Oliver."
Oliver bit his lip as he contemplated a reply, "I know how this looks, okay? But trust me, nothing is the way what the media makes it out to be." He paused when he heard her speaking, "Thank you." He said a second later, "I love you Laurel."
He turned around, wanting to tell Felicity that the situation had been handled only to find her standing on the threshold of the bed. "I just-" Felicity stuttered under his gaze. Her hands moved showing him her phone, "I needed a charger." She bit out, her voice suddenly small and a second later, realization dawned on Oliver. "Sorry."
"Feli-"
Felicity turned around and walked away.
Oliver's finger twitched as he pressed his lips together. His hand rose as if he wanted to say something but Felicity had already fled. This was all that he had wanted since the beginning. To show her that without her he was happy. That her screwing with Ray had paved a happy path for him and he wasn't a lovesick fool anymore.
Now he had.
Why wasn't he feeling satisfied?
…
Felicity moved her finger across the tablet, trying to distract herself. She knew that Oliver was with Laurel so it shouldn't hurt that much. Well, it shouldn't hurt to be very frank but Felicity figured out that the only reason she was hurting because he was a link to Conner and she was sad about that breaking.
But the pain was intense. Being a genius, it didn't take her heart and mind to put two and two together but she still was in denial. She didn't have feelings for Oliver.
She didn't.
The doorbell rung and Felicity looked towards the bedroom, almost expecting Oliver to walk in any moment but when he didn't, she made her way towards the door and opened it.
"Oliver, you're neighbour shouted at me-"Thea tilted her head as she stared at Felicity. Tommy and Roy (at least that was the name that Felicity remembered) were standing behind it. "You're not Oliver." Thea uttered and Felicity didn't say a word as she moved a little to the side allowing them to enter inside.
"What in the world are you doing here?" Tommy's voice was harsh and Felicity got comfortable on the couch. She knew that this would be their reaction and at this point she might as well get comfortable to listen to the things they have to say about her.
"Yeah, about that." Felicity grinned sardonically, "Ask your best friend." She gritted out the next moment.
"Why can't you just leave my brother alone?" Thea narrowed her eyes at her, "Haven't you done enough? Slee-"
"Whose there?" Oliver interrupted them and the four occupants of the room pivoted their heads in his direction, "Oh thank god." Felicity heard Thea muttered before she reached forward and hugged Oliver. She pulled away and then shoved his chest, "Where were you? I was worried."
"I messaged!"
"Still!" She exclaimed before whipping her head towards Felicity, "And what is she doing here?"
"Geez, Thea. So much of love," Felicity mumbled under her breath.
"It's a long story," Oliver shrugged it off, "I'll explain it you guys later today." He looked around, "Reece and John?"
"Downstairs." Tommy informed him, "John is getting rid of the crowd. He has a whole team down there and Reece told us to fetch you. You both are having a press conference."
"Press conference?"
"Yup." Thea supplied to her brother, "To get rid of the rumours. Mom, Laurel and Sara will meet us there."
"Isn't this at a short notice?"
"That's the only solution." Tommy told Felicity and she frowned, "But I'm not dressed for it."
Thea shot her an exasperated look, "I don't think people are going to notice your dressing style, Smoak."
Felicity's eyebrows furrowed as she heard the last word, "Actually, statistics tells us that ninety pe-"
Tommy sighed, "We'll get your clothes on our way."
"Now come on!" Thea moved behind Oliver and then shoved his shoulders, "We need to get going." She looked at Felicity the next moment, "You too." She paused, "Or do you want to delay this further? Want a place back into my brother's life?"
Felicity tilted her head sideways, "I'll skip."
Thea rolled her eyes, "Now come on!" Tommy was about to open his mouth to say something but he shrugged it off the last minute. Felicity watched Oliver, Thea and Tommy leave before she realized a person was standing right next to her, "So, you wanna say anything too Roy?"
Roy gulped, "Nope." He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets, "I don't know you so I can't judge you."
"That's a great opinion you have there."
"Well, I've been judged my entire life so I know how it feels like." Felicity was about to say something but before she could utter the words, Thea came in through the open door. She looked at the two of them before pulling Roy's arm, "Come on, let's go Roy." She looked at her boyfriend and Felicity rolled her eyes.
"Or she would start ranting about how she lost her son and husband."
Felicity blinked.
And blinked.
A pang hit her chest and her eyes begin to burn. Thea's face got clouded with regret for a split second on seeing her reaction. Her mouth was slightly parted, her eyes glossy and Thea for a moment felt like the biggest bitch on this planet. The look of disappointment on Roy's face didn't help much either. A second later, the look vanished and she glared at Felicity coldly before turning around and walking away, Roy in tow. She did stop midway though when she saw her brother who shook his head (at her) before walking past the two of them.
Felicity bit her lip.
Or she would start ranting about how she lost her son and husband.
Just when she thought she was accepting reality.
Lines appeared on her forehead, her lower lip wobbling. She was dangerously close to crying. But then she saw Oliver standing in the doorway, a frown on his forehead and was that regret? She didn't know what to think.
She mustered up the courage she had as she started speaking, "I was just…" She pointed towards her bare feet. She had taken off her shoes a little while after they entered the house again. "Looking for my shoes." She mumbled, her voice small as she bent down, moving her hands just to distract herself and him, so that she won't cry in front of him.
The tears did flow then and she wiped it with her hand.
"Felici-"
"Yeah, I can't find them." Felicity looked around only to find her sneakers lying haphazardly a few metres away. "There they are." She picked them up before moving up.
Her face was red, her cheeks were wet and Oliver felt his heart break at the sight of it, "Felicity, Thea-"
"Has grown up." Felicity completed the sentence, trying to muster a smile but failing miserably. At this point, she should have replied back harshly but she felt weak and she wanted to just cry. Somethings hurt you really bad. "Yeah, you would be proud of her."
Oliver flinched. Was he any better than Thea? He called her a leftover and Thea said this thing to her.
Was this the way she reacted when he called her so?
He told himself she deserved it.
But did she really?
He made himself believe that she did.
But this? What Thea said was absolutely ridiculous. Bringing up Conner was way out of line. "We should go." Felicity mumbled, looking at her reflection on the hardwood floor as she ruffled her hair lightly. Her nose was red and her voice was wavering, "Felicity, can you-"
"We should go." Felicity rubbed her hands on her jeans as she started to move past him.
Oliver needed to talk to her so he said what came to his mind in a second, "What about the charger?"
"I'm sorry?"
"You needed to charge your phone, right? Did you find it?"
"Actually," Felicity sniffed, "I didn't." She told him, "You can keep your phone here-"
"No thank you, Oliver." Felicity started, "It's not like I have people in Starling who are worried about me, right? It'll be fine." She tried to give him a smile before walking out.
And suddenly, Oliver felt a lot worse than before.
…
May 2009
Oliver felt like a douchebag. It was his fault anyway. He shouldn't have left her alone. He knew how fundraisers usually were, well the people present there usually were yet he left her alone there.
He opened the door to her apartment and placed the key back in his pocket. It was something that Felicity had given him a little while after they had become friends. But recently, she gave him a keychain too for it, with a heart on it and Oliver knew what it meant and it made him love her more.
She could be so adorable some times.
Okay, all the time.
He entered her bedroom only to find her sitting on the bed in one corner. Doctor Who was playing on the television and he knew that this was her comfort show. He forgot how many times she had gushed about Rose and Doctor Who. And then there was her epic babbling that who she liked better between Matt Smith and David Tennant.
Oliver personally like Matt Smith though. Yes, Felicity had made him watch the entire series and he would admit that he enjoyed every bit of it. Sometimes, when he found the episode boring he would just sit there and watch Felicity repeat the lines, her voice trying to match up the voice of the actors and laugh.
But now, tears were dripping down her cheeks and Oliver bit his lip, his expression getting clouded.
He didn't like seeing her cry.
She made him happy. She was the part of his life that he looked forward too. She made everyone happy. She didn't deserve pain. She did not.
"Felicity?"
The girl in question turned her head towards him and Oliver tilted his head sideways as he sighed watching her cry. Felicity wiped her tears almost instantly, "Oliver." She tried to grin, "I was just watching the Doomsday part," She waved her hand in the air, "You know how it gets to me, right?" She looked really vulnerable right now. Her smile was fake, her lower lip wobbling.
"Felicity." Oliver sighed before taking off his shoes and coming to sit right beside her, "I heard."
"What?" Felicity tried to shrug it off, "That I made a fool of myself out there? Don't worry. I'm pretty sure people would forget about it by tomorrow." She grinned, or tried to, her hands fisting on the hem of her batman t-shirt, "It's fine."
"You can talk to me, you know that right?" Oliver pressed his hand on her shoulder and a tear dripped down Felicity's cheek, "They just-they just started talking about how I was dating Oliver Queen and then the conversation suddenly shifted towards the fact that I didn't have a dad." She whispered, "They called me his leftover, Oliver and how despite of everything, I had managed a position in a big company only because I slept with the CEO's son."
"You know," Felicity wiped her tears with the back of her hand and Oliver leaned closer to her, "People called us that. His leftovers. It's like he made the mistake and we paying for it-I don't understand. Why are people so mean, Oliver?" She whimpered, "Why?" She uttered before she fell into his arms and Oliver hugged her tightly, his hands running through her blonde locks.
Felicity whimpered, pressing her cheek on his shoulder. Oliver whispered soothing words and this calmed her down a little. She pulled away a minute later and Oliver cupped her cheek, "Sometimes," Oliver started, his thumb wiping off the tear tracks on her cheeks, "The world is not as innocent and pure as you are, Felicity. It's not." He told her softly and Felicity leaned her head against his palm, "People say. They talk bullshit but you don't let them faze you. You have reached here because you have that strength. Don't let some high class bitch ruin your life. "
He smiled, "These tears are really precious. Don't waste them for anyone, okay?" Felicity sniffed but nodded against his hand before Oliver pressed a kiss against her forehead causing Felicity's eyes to close.
There was a pregnant pause before, "Dad kicked them out."
"What?"
"He kicked those ladies out of the fundraiser and I might have started shouting at them, telling them that I am dating you and it's because I love you."
"You what?"
"Yeah," Oliver grinned lopsidedly, "I might have confessed that in front of everyone? Also, I think the papers would definitely publish them." He uttered, "But you don't like publicity and I still don't know your response. This is bad-"
Felicity flung herself at her, hugging him tightly. She couldn't stop grinning as she pressed her cheek against his shoulder. She could feel tears collect in her eyes and some of them might have escape but this was different.
She was happy.
"What? You're crying again? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You know you don't need to cry. God, please don't cry."
Felicity pulled away the next second and hit his shoulder with her right hand, "You dork! I love you too!" She said and Oliver's eyes brightened, "You do?"
"Yes!" She smiled happily before hugging him away and this time she felt Oliver wrap his arms tightly around her, "Uh, Felicity."
Felicity's head was still on his shoulder, "Yes?"
"This is the part where we kiss."
"Later." Felicity didn't want to let go of him now, "Loads of kissing and sexy times." She mumbled again, snuggling up to him, "Especially since you're wearing your sexy suspenders."
"I thought you didn't notice."
"Oh, I noticed. I notice everything."
She felt Oliver chuckle and then press a kiss on her hair.
She might not have a father.
But she had her world right here.
…
Felicity sat on the stairs that were behind the hall where the press conference was taking place. She was glad that she chose to wear jeans when she stopped by at her house earlier today.
The minute they stepped out of the car, Oliver and Felicity parted ways. Oliver was with his family and she was sitting here all alone.
She wanted to cry.
She did.
Frankly, her mood did brighten up in the car when John had opened up the front door for her asking her to grab the shot gun. Felicity agreed and John told her how she once told him she was his friend, so she would sit on the shotgun and hence, it would always be reserved for her.
But now, she was out here all alone and she couldn't help but recall Thea's words.
Or she would start ranting about how she lost her son and husband.
She voiced what was real though, didn't she?
She did lose her son.
And her husband.
Honestly, what was she even doing here in Starling?
Oh yeah, to fulfil her father's last wish.
Who she lost as well.
Felicity sniffed and leaned her head down. She was sure her face was red and one tear leaked out from the corner of her eye. She was about to wipe it when a white handkerchief was shoved in front of her face and she frowned before turning towards the person who was offering it.
The person's blue eyes were filled with curiosity and Felicity could smell his cologne on the handkerchief that probably he had gotten out of his suit jacket that he looked really good in. He moved the hand further, his black hair moving accordingly and when Felicity didn't accept it, he shoved it back in his jacket before standing up, "I am guessing that's a no then."
Felicity frowned for a second before calling out, "Yes." She didn't even know why she said yes. Maybe she just needed a companion at this point. The guy laughed a little, before giving the handkerchief to her and she sniffed lightly, "Thank you."
"So?"
"So?" Felicity echoed.
"I see a girl crying on a staircase, alone. So, I was wondering how you got here?"
"Just because you offered me a handkerchief doesn't mean I'll talk to you about my life. This is not Forrest Gump."
"Funny, I always believed that life is box full of chocolates. Maybe you got stuck with the nutty one, huh?"
"I'm allergic to peanuts." Felicity wiped the tear tracks and the guy frowned, "Really? That's a shame. That means you've never had peanut butter sandwiches."
Felicity nodded, "I did once. Then I went into anaphylactic shock and discovered I was allergic to them," She smiled softly and the guy laughed. Felicity sniffed a second later and the guy frowned, "You want to talk?"
"No." Felicity bit out, "Why would I talk to you about my life? Why are so keen on knowing about it anyway? Like my life wasn't already a mess. My husband left me and now people think we're together, isn't that twisted?" Felicity frowned, "It's like God is planning things against me. Next thing we know, that Oliver and I are engaged. Oh my god! I said it. What if I jinxed it? Do you think I jinxed it? Because statistics tells us that jinx do come true like thirty seven percent of the time and what if I fall into them? My luck has already ditched me. Let's face it, even my bad luck is bad."
The guy laughed loudly and Felicity furrowed her eyebrows, "What is so funny, Mister?" Her head tilted sideways, the end of her pony tail landing on her shoulder.
"Nothing," He raised his arms in surrender, "You're just..."
"Just what?" Felicity frowned, "Screwed. Alone." She counted on her fingers and then her lips curled upside down, "I'm alone." She murmured as she looked at the guy for a plausible explanation. His gaze lowered and then his expression changed, "How about we change that?"
"Change what?"
"Here." He said before taking out a card and giving it to her. Felicity didn't see it but she was sure it was a visiting card, "I'm alone too. Recently shifted here. So, I could use some help."
"Are you asking me out on a date? Because let me tell you-"She raised a finger and then pointed it towards herself, "I don't date. My track record isn't good at all. The last guy I dated is now my ex-husband, the guy before that my said ex-husband scared him off and the guy way before that ditched me because I refused to hack into the government when he asked me to." She sighed, "I don't date."
"It's a not a date." He raised his hands in surrender, "I just want my handkerchief back." He looked at the cloth that Felicity had been clenching in her hands, "Oh. Oh." Felicity mumbled, "Of course."
She squinted her eyes at the card and gasped, "You're a reporter." Her gaze turned vehement, "Is that why you were asking for my life story?" She shoved him and the guy frowned, "I know. I'm sorry. My boss sent me here to grab some information about the case."
"If you tell your boss about anything I will ruin your career," She narrowed her eyes at him. She threw the card at him and then the handkerchief, "You guys just know how to play with emotions, don't you?"
He got up a second later, his hands reaching for the card and the cloth lying on the ground. Felicity was still glaring at him, "I am telling you, I would ruin your career if anything I said would get published in the papers. My life is already a mess, I don't need people like you in my life."
"I know," He sighed, "My intention was never to get the story, Ms. Smoak." He paused, "You actually looked like you needed someone. I never would have taken advantage of you. I've been in that position and it doesn't feel good,"
Felicity's gaze softened but she didn't say anything, "I just wanted to help. I won't tell my boss anything, not that you've actually told me loads but no." Felicity looked at the ground and she felt him keeping the card right beside her, "I don't blame you for not trusting me." He bit his lip, "Just in case, you change your mind Ms. Smoak. You really look like you need a friend,"
He walked away and Felicity frowned, crossing her arms. "What does he know about friendship anyway? He just came here for business." Still Felicity found herself reaching for the card.
Ed Raymond.
Senior News Reporter
BBC News
She contemplated whether she should throw the card away or not but she went with the latter, figuring that if she would have to ruin his career, she would need some information.
"Felicity."
She turned herself, her elbow resting on the step that was above as she looked at Oliver. His face resembled what hers for hours ago. "I just came here to call you," He bit out, "But it seems like you are busy."
Felicity got up in an instant, the card being shoved in her back pocket, "No. I'm coming." She stated and didn't say another word while walking past him.
Oliver's gaze lingered on the guy who apparently was a reporter and now standing with his crew. He shook his head the next second and turned around and walked towards the hall.
He had other things to worry about.
…
The flashes was something that Felicity will never get used to, to be honest. People were sitting on their seats, mics clenched in their hands. Felicity had attended numerous of press conferences with Ray and with her dad too but she wasn't in the front line.
"So are the two of back together?"
And the questions weren't this painful.
"No." Felicity leaned forward, her mouth hovering near the mic, "We're not getting back together." She looked at Oliver who was looking ahead at the crowd, "Ever." Oliver looked at her as she uttered the word. Felicity moved back, her hands on her lap.
"So, is still dating Laurel Lance?" This time it was Oliver's turn and he smiled, "Yes." Felicity could swear she saw Laurel grin widely at the fact and she frowned.
"What were the two of you doing together last night?"
"Uh," Felicity stuttered for reply, "He was just helping me," She raised her eyebrows towards Oliver who took this as his cue and started speaking, "We're still friends. Besides, I don't think we owe anyone an explanation. We just wanted to clarify that we aren't together."
Well, that was to the point.
Clearly, Oliver was better than this than her.
…
Oliver sighed as he sipped his coffee. "Thank you for the coffee," He told Diggle who nodded, "I needed it." And he did. He hadn't showered and had simply changed his clothes. He had gone through days where he hadn't showered (Felicity used to make a face when she discovered that but he knew that even she had days when she didn't shower) but he felt uneasy rather than dirty. The past two days had been hectic and he needed to have a warm shower to relax, just relax.
He had a pretty rough day. From the words that Felicity to now. Laurel had suggested that they should reveal they were engaged ( okay, maybe Oliver had forgotten about it) but he said no. Moira had chewed his ear off and wanted to talk to Felicity but Oliver and Diggle had to handle her. Felicity had enough for a day.
It was a rough day.
"No problem." Diggle stated before he asked the question that had been plaguing him for quite a long time, "What happened last night? And why was Felicity's mood off earlier?" He looked at the woman in question who was standing at one corner talking to Gerry who had appeared moments ago.
"Thea," Oliver started, "She said her something." Digg crossed his arms, "And you let her." He glared at him, "You are a coward, Oliver. Why can't you ever take a stand for her?" John shook his head in disappointment. He started to make his way towards Felicity, away from Oliver when the latter stopped him, "I tried talking okay? But she just won't listen. She was-" He paused, closing his eyes, "She-I should have said something, you're right."
Who the hell was he denying?
The comment about Conner was uncalled for. It was.
And he kept envisioning her expression.
Sure, the way she was reacting was because of the comment about Conner right? She left him for Ray, so she shouldn't be sad about leaving him.
She wouldn't be.
"But there is something else we need to talk about." He told Digg, "Last night, when she was drunk...Felicity said a few things," His voice trailed off and Diggle's eyebrows rose in question, "She said-" He pressed the bridge of his noise, "She said that she tried to commit suicide."
Digg gaped, "Suicide?"
He looked at Felicity, suddenly hit by the thought that what if she really had succeeded?
"I need to-I need to know." Oliver mumbled, "I need to know. I need to talk to her, I-"
"You weren't there for her, Oliver." Diggle was suddenly angry. He was this close to losing her, "You left her! And she could have-"
"I could have lost her too, okay?" Oliver frowned, "I could have lost her too." His voice trailed off as the scenario hit his mind. He closed his eyes, "You're not the only one." He raised his finger, "I need –I need to get some answers. I need to talk to her. Please just help me with this, okay?" He was almost desperate.
"I'll look into it." Diggle crossed his arms, "I'll-I'll look into it." He furrowed his eyebrows the next minute, "That's not the only thing she said though, right?" Oliver's expression gave it all away.
"You don't need to worry yourself about that," Oliver started, his fingers tightening around the coffee cup, "It was nothing serious." He flashed him a forced smile.
John Diggle was a smart guy.
"She said something else, didn't she?" He smiled a little, the tension easing off. "But you refuse to believe it."
"No."
"I'm not asking what it is." Diggle refused to believe it, "But there is still something that you refuse to believe. Ever since she left, you've been fooling yourself. How long will that go for, Oliver?"
Oliver pressed his lips together, "I'm not fooling myself, Digg. She didn't mean it."
"Really?" Diggle raised his eyebrows in question, "It's your choice whether to believe it or not. All I am saying is, if you believe the fact that she-"He paused, "tried to commit suicide then why can't you believe the others? If that is true so are the other things."
Oliver looked at Felicity who must have felt his gaze on her, turned to look at him too.
I never was with Ray.
I missed you.
I love you.
Felicity turned her head slightly towards the left in question, waiting for something from Oliver before shaking her head and turned her attention back to Gerry. Oliver snapped out of his gaze.
I love you.
"For how long will you continue to fool yourself, Oliver?"
I love you.
Oliver's eyebrow furrowed.
I love you.
"You don't understand. She said she-"His phone rang and he raised his finger in the air, pausing mid-conversation. He frowned when he saw the digits on his screen. Clearly, he didn't know who it was calling.
"Hello?"
"Hello?" There was a female on the other line and Oliver pressed the mobile closer to his ear, "Who is this?"
"I should be asking that question, don't you think?" The lady laughed at the other end, "They were bajilion calls from this number on our landline."
Oliver was flustered, "I'm sorry, I don't remember. I called a lot of people last night."
"This is the Palmer Residence." And realization dawned on him. He remembered calling Ray's home last night and he also remembered thinking why it was saved as Ray's home in Felicity's phone. Shouldn't they be living together by now? He didn't save his home number though. He had kept going back to the last dialled list.
But who was this other lady at the end?
"I'm sorry, who is this?"
"Wait, who is this?"
"I'm Ray's friend. It's been a long time since we've talked so-"
"Oh, I'm his wife. Courtney Palmer." She paused, "Now, if you could only tell me your name, I'll tell Ray about it."
Oliver took a really deep breath, "His wife, of course." He pretended to agree with Courtney. He wanted to reach at the root of it.
Ray had a wife?
"So, I guess congratulations is in order?"
"You're two years too late buddy."
Oliver hung up.
Two years?
Ray had been married for the past two years? Then what about Felicity and him?
Ray Palmer had a wife.
Wife.
He was married.
Courtney Palmer.
The name did ring a bell though.
He just couldn't pin point where but it did ring a bell.
God, where had he heard that name before?!
Ray was married.
He had a wife.
So, Felicity and him were not together? Was she the lady who was with Felicity and Ray at his dad's funeral? Because Oliver simply thought she was Felicity's friend or something.
Oliver's hand tightened around his phone. He needed answers. Ray had been married for the past two years.
Two.
How could he if-
His gaze flickered towards Felicity who was talking to John.
I never was with Ray.
"All I am saying is, if you believe the fact that she tried to commit suicide then why can't you believe the others? If that is true so are the other things."
"For how long will you continue to fool yourself, Oliver?"
For how long?
…
Done.
Hoped you like it x
Thank you so so much for the awesome response, I'm grateful to every one of you ..I love you all x
But I will try.
Now I am not giving a date but I would definitely try before 1st June.
P.S I am planning for this to be a THIRTY CHAPTER story. A lot of people have asked about this and I keep forgetting.
P.P.S how many of you read the flashbacks?
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I love you all
Srishti x