Title: He is Mine
Chapter Fourteen:
...
It has only been a few days since she had so brutally broken the manservants heart, but to Morgana, it felt like a lifetime. So much has happened and so much has changed in the span of a few days. Standing in Gaius' chambers as Merlin avoids her gaze and runs around putting on a fresh pot of tea, Morgana could barely stand the weight of not speaking to him the way that she used to. She had missed him so much, she feels like she might cry if he continues to avoid looking at her. With a deep breath, she finally speaks.
"Merlin."
Merlin turns away from her, checking the pot of water for the third time since he had it put on the fire, two minutes ago.
"Merlin." Morgana tries again, her heart heavy and her lips quivering. She feels like there's a fist around her heart, clenching as she stares at the manservants back. She knows that what she did was horrible, but she's here to make things right. She's here to tell him that she's so absolutely sorry for everything she'd said to him the other night. She moves towards him, only stopping once she's directly behind him. "Please turn around." She whispers softly.
Merlin tenses, and he pauses for a long moment before he finally turns around to face the Kings ward. His eyes are averted to the floor, however, because he's not sure he'll be able to control his emotions if he looks directly at her.
Morgana raises a hand, hoping to touch him, but the manservant takes a quick step back from her. Her heart aches even more as she drops her hand back down to her side and looks longingly at him. "Please look at me." She whispers pleadingly.
The manservant slowly lifts his head, and his eyes finally connect with hers. This has been the closest he's been to her since the night she broke his heart, and it feels so good to finally see her beautiful green eyes up close again.
Morgana finds herself completely silent as she takes in the sight of the man in front of her. She lets out a shaky breath as the corners of her lips turn up in a small, content smile. He looks worn and weary, but he's still as handsome as ever. Being there, alone with the one man she is so willing to give up everything for, feels like the greatest gift she has ever received in her entire life.
"Merlin, I..." she pauses and shakes her head slowly as tears well up in her eyes. "... I don't even know where to begin." She lets out a weak, humorless laugh. "I spent a half hour, walking around aimlessly and practicing what I wanted to to say to you, but-" she pauses, her lips quivering again and her tears thickening in her eyes as her threat begins to close up. She knew this was going to happen at some point during their conversation, but she had no idea that it would happen so soon, let alone before she even began saying what she went there to say. She bites her lip hard, as she stares at the manservant who was now staring at her with wide, worried eyes. "I don't even know what to say." She looks down, ashamed and angry at herself for all the pain and heartache that she has caused the man before her. Before she could continue with her blubbering, Merlin stops her abruptly when he suddenly moves his arm, and wraps one of his large, warm hands around one of her small, petite ones.
Morgana blinks, her tears still pouring and fresh on her cheeks.
"Then don't say anything." Merlin whispers softly as he reaches up with his free hand and wipes her tears away with his thumb. "I'll say something."
Morgana could not tell anything from his blank expression. The only sign that he felt something, were his blue eyes, staring right into the depths of her soul. He doesn't continue yet, first pulling her gently towards the table and the bench in the middle of Gaius' chambers. She takes a seat when he gestures for her to sit down, and she follows him with her eyes as he goes back to the pot on the fire and removes it. He sighs, his back to her as he raises his hand and runs it through his hair. After several moments, he finally turns around and offers her an apologetic look. "We don't have tea." He admits. "Gaius went to the market to get some earlier, and he still hasn't returned."
Morgana blinks at him again, having expected him to say something that had nothing to do with tea and everything to do with them. "It's okay." She says softly.
Merlin nods before walking back over to her and taking a seat beside her. She expects him to face the table, but instead, he straddles the bench and faces directly towards her. He's so close, she could feel his warmth, and she tries not to lean into him. After several moments of staring at each other, Merlin sighs heavily and begins talking.
"After the night you began pushing me away, I'll admit, I was heartbroken." He begins softly, and his heart aches at seeing the King's ward close her eyes and release even more tears down her perfect face. He continues softly, wanting to get everything off his chest. "I'll also admit that after I left your chambers, I cried like a baby."
"Merlin, I'm so sorry-"
"No." Merlin shakes his head and looks at her with soft, sad eyes. "Don't apologize."
"But I-"
"Please let me finish." Merlin cuts in pleadingly. He waits for her to nod before offering her a tiny smile. "I tried my best to stay away, and not care. I've talked myself into circles, trying to use the memory of the way you hurt me to lessen the feelings I have for you... but it didn't change anything. Even when Princess Ophelia offered me a deal that no servant in their right mind could ever turn down, I... I could not stop thinking about you. I could not stop dreaming of you at night, longing for you in the daytime, and wishing to wake up one day and find that everything you'd said to me the last time we spoke, was a horrible nightmare." He slowly leans forward, reaching an arm across the bench and taking her hand in his. He could see how much pain she's feeling, and could sense the guilt she's trying to suppress. But he wants her to know the truth of how his heart lurches and expands at the mere thought of her. She looks down at their touching hands as tears continue to fall down her face. "I've tried, Morgana." Merlin whispers softly. "The pain of it is maddening and bloody unbearable, but I tried." He then squeezes her hand lightly and his lips turn up in a small smile. "And just when I thought I could actually move on and accept Princess Ophelia's offer, Gwen told me that you needed my help." He moves forward just a little more, his knees brushing against Morgana. "The moment she said those words, I knew without a doubt in my mind, that I could never, ever leave this place. Camelot, despite all the heartache and pain I've had here these past two years, is my home."
Morgana smiles at the manservant and covers their intertwined fingers with her free hand.
"This is my home because I found friends here who care for me. It's my home because I found a mentor who has taught me so much about life and family. It's my home because the memories I've made here, are irreplaceable... but most of all, it's my home because on the first day I got here, I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my entire life. To this day, it still remains the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and I cannot live, cannot go on, cannot be without it."
Morgana furrows her eyebrows at the man before her, remembering a few days ago when she had asked him on the night she feigned illness, to tell her of the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. "And what is it?"
With a smile, the manservant pulls her towards him until their faces are just a few centimeters apart. "You."
Morgana, despite her best efforts to not cry, lets out a small sob as she moves closer to him and leans her forehead against Merlin's. "Oh Merlin." She cries softly while she raises her arms and takes his face in her hands. "I'm so sorry for causing you so much heartache these past few days."
Merlin shakes his head gently. "Arthur and Gwen told me why you did it."
Morgana pulls away and looks questioningly at the manservant. "They did?"
The manservant smiles and nods at her. "Yes."
"Everything?"
Merlin shrugs, "If by everything you mean the fact that you made a deal with King Uther to let me go and promise to leave me alone in exchange for marrying whomever he chooses, then yes… they told me everything. Including the fact that the man we know as Lord Borin, isn't who he says he is, and is actually a thief."
The King's ward feels her hot tears begin to well up in her eyes again for what seems to be the hundredth time in under an hour. The only difference between the tears she's shedding now and the tears she was shedding earlier, these tears are ones of utter relief and joy. All that's left for her to apologize for, is for keeping the whole truth of Merlin. Before she could even do that though, Merlin shakes his head profusely and smiles at her.
"Don't apologize for keeping the truth from me… I understand why you did it, and quite frankly, I probably would've made things even more difficult for you." He gives her a soft, sheepish look. "Had I known what you gave up for me, I would've been completely against it. I would've begged for you to go to Uther and break off the deal you made…" he trails off, suddenly staring at her mouth as his breathing labors. "… I would've kissed you the way I wanted to that night…" his eyes search Morgana's for something to indicate what she's feeling. "… the way I want, right now."
Morgana finds herself leaning in towards him again, her eyes growing heavy, her mouth watering at the thought of finally getting her first taste of Merlin, her fingers aching to run through his hair, and her heart beating borderline maniacally in her chest. Just before her lips touches his, she whispers in the tiniest of voices, "Kiss me."
Time moves slower and slower around them, until finally, at least to them, it stops completely as their lips finally meet. It's soft, tentative, and slow. The feeling in their hearts is euphoric, making the both of them delirious and dizzy with pleasure. They stay that way for a few short moments before Morgana finds feeling in her hands and she raises them to grasp at the back of Merlin's neck, pulling him closer. She wants more of him as she opens her mouth to his, and slides her tongue out to brush over his lips. Merlin's response is automatic, opening his own mouth and slipping his tongue through his lips to meet Morgana's in a delicious duel.
Somehow, in the haze of lust, want, and need, the young couple end up on the table with Morgana on her back and Merlin hovering over her. Their kiss had grown desperate and passionate, both trying to take in as much of each other as possible.
Merlin groans softly when Morgana takes his bottom lip between her teeth and bites down gently. Her hands begin to roam over his chest, dragging up the bottom of his shirt until the red fabric is bunched up around his chest. The manservant could not comprehend what was happening as he pulls away long enough to let Morgana drag his shirt over his head and off of him in one swift motion. He returns right back to kissing her, one hand beside her head, supporting his weight off of her, and the other resting high on her hip. His hand inches slowly up her body until he finds himself cupping one of her ample breasts in the palm of his hand. He returns the earlier assault and gently bites Morgana's lip, pulling lightly as his hand caresses her breast through her dress. He grins against her lips as she lets out a loud, throaty moan.
Morgana trails her hands over Merlin's naked chest, feeling the hardness of his pectorals. She trails her hands down farther and farther, enjoying the feeling of his quivering muscles beneath her fingertips. Just as her fingers come into contact with the drawstrings of his trousers, the sound of a door slamming shut startles the ever-loving hell out of herself and the man above her. Merlin jumps a little too high and ends up stumbling off of her and onto the floor. Morgana sits up, her eyes wide and her heart in her throat as she looks directly at the figure standing at the door.
"Gaius!" Merlin whines in annoyance. "Don't you knock?"
The elderly physician stares at his ward with wide eyes before looking at the King's ward, sitting on his table with her hands over her face in embarrassment. The physician then looks at his own ward again and quirks an eyebrow at him. "I do, except when the chambers is mine." he replies.
Merlin groans as he gets up off the floor and quickly helps Morgana off of the table before grabbing his discarded shirt and pulling it back on. For some reason, in the middle of all the lust he was feeling, he had no idea that Morgana had even pulled his shirt off of him until he found himself feeling a little too vulnerable under Gaius' gaze. He should be feeling utterly embarrassed and maybe even a little scared, but after what he'd just experienced with Morgana, all he can really think about, is the feeling of her skin against his, and the taste of her lips on his tongue.
"Gaius," Morgana begins apologetically. "I apologize, we were just—".
"Milady," Gaius cuts in with a soft, knowing look. "There's no need for you to explain what it was the two of you were doing on the table where I eat. I'm old, not blind."
Morgana's face burns even further as she averts her gaze towards Merlin. If the situation weren't so utterly embarrassing, she would've completely melted at the way Merlin's hair is sticking up at odd angles. She turns her attention back to the Physician and she apologizes again. "I'm so very sorry. I just came here to speak with Merlin, but… as you can tell," she gestures towards the table, "we ended up doing a little more than that."
Gaius sighs and looks between the two. He pulls one of the chairs from beside the fire and sets it by the table before sitting down in it. "Sit." he says to no one in particular. He watches as Merlin pulls the bench back and gestures for the Lady Morgana to sit before sitting down beside her. The elderly man shakes his head and looks at the King's ward. "I know that I told you to be careful of these kinds of things before, so I'm not going to say it again."
Morgana nods, a small frown forming on her face. "I know."
"But," Gaius continues slowly, getting a confused look from the King's ward then. "I also told Merlin earlier that if he wants to be with you, he should tell you how he feels."
This was news to Morgana, who honestly thought that Gaius was about to chastise them both for forgetting their place. "You did?" she asks curiously, looking at Merlin for confirmation.
The manservant nods and smiles. "He did… and I do seem to recall that he told me to brace myself for the inevitable horror that is to come, most likely from the King himself, if you feel the same way that I do about you."
"Wait," Morgana says with narrowed eyes. "You never actually told me how you feel about me."
Merlin's eyebrows furrow at that. "What? But I just told you."
"Not quite." Morgana grins, raising a perfect brow at him. "I want to hear you say exactly what you feel for me."
Merlin looks at the Physician pleadingly, then rolls his eyes and huffs as Gaius is already raising his hands in surrender and rising quickly from his seat.
"I may be old, but not nearly as old enough to find this conversation useful in my future; however short that may be." the physician quickly turns on his heel and leaves his chambers.
Merlin stares for a long moment before clearing his throat and looking over at Morgana, who is still grinning widely at him. "So…" he trails off and looks at the bag that Gaius brought with him and left by the door where he dropped it earlier. "Tea?"
Morgana laughs as she grabs Merlin by the front of his shirt and pulls him towards her. "I think I want to know how you feel about me first." she looks up at him through her lashes, loving the fact that he's so much taller than her. It makes her feel like she belongs there, standing in front of him forever.
Merlin couldn't help but smile as he raises his hand and takes her face in it. He pulls her closer, wrapping his free arm around her waist as he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against her. In a soft whisper, he finally speaks. "I've loved 5 people in my entire life. My mother, for being the best mother any boy could ask for. Gaius, for being the first father figure I could look up to. Arthur, for being his usual, prat-like, idiotic self and being kind of like a brother to me. Gwen, for being one of the nicest, sincerest, and most understanding friend ever… but the one person who managed to steal every single piece of my heart, the one person I love more than anything in this world, the one person who makes me feel like so much more than a simple manservant," Merlin smiles and presses his lips lightly against Morgana's. "… is you."
Morgana's heart feels as if it would explode with joy in that moment as she looks up at Merlin with a tearful, loving gaze. "You love me?"
The manservant nods. "How could I ever feel otherwise?"
Morgana throws her arms around Merlin's neck and pulls him into a soul searing kiss. After several long moments, they finally pull away, and in a breathy whisper, Morgana says ever so softly, "I love you too, Merlin."
Merlin closes his eyes, smiling happily. "That's all I could ever want."
Morgana grins up at him with a teasing smile. "So you wouldn't want to... do other things with me?"
The manservant's eyes widen, realizing what she's suggesting. "I mean... I- of course I want to. I want a lot of things, but if all you could give me was your love, I would be content with that."
Morgana smiles at him and cocks her head to the side. "I guess it's a good thing that I can and will give you more than just my love." she says secretively. "But all in due time. There are still a few things we must get through and discuss first."
Merlin nods in agreement, his eyes suddenly growing serious as he looks down at her and smiles. "I told you before that there's a tie between two of the most beautiful things I've ever seen."
The King's ward nods in thought. "You did."
"You're definitely more beautiful than the other thing."
Morgana raises her eyebrows curiously. "And what's the other thing?"
Merlin sighs and looks away. "It's complicated, and takes time to explain, so I'm not going to do that right now. But I promise you, when all of this is over, I will tell you everything."
The King's ward nods as she leans up and kisses him lightly on the lips again and smiles. She could really get used to this. Just the feeling of being so close to him makes her heart flutter insanely in her chest. "Good… I would love to break away from this horrible nightmare of an engagement to the fake Lord Borin." she smiles as she pulls away and looks into Merlin's bright blue eyes. "Will you help me?"
"For you?" Merlin grins, "I will do anything."
…
Arthur looks around cautiously as he leads the impostor Lord Borin down a secret passageway that he and Merlin had discovered a while ago when they saw Gwaine stumbling down there one night. He turns right, walking quickly but quietly, occasionally looking behind him to make sure that the impostor Lord Borin is still following him, and also to make sure that they weren't being followed by any of Uther's guards. For this plan to work, he needs to get the impostor out of the castle to buy Merlin some time to sneak into his chambers and search it for the Stone of Mortem.
The Prince stops abruptly as several guards walk right past him, not even noticing the two shadows in the darkness. After several moments, Arthur sighs and continues down the passageway until they finally reach a fork. The Prince leads the impostor down to the left and out of the castle walls.
As they make their way down into town, Arthur reaches into the pocket of his trousers and pulls out a small object. He drops it onto the ground as he and the impostor make their way towards the tavern.
Arthur actually grins when they enter the crowded tavern, already abuzz with chatter and drunk laughter. He turns around, facing the impostor and opening his arms out wide. "Welcome to the tavern… also known as Gwaine's home."
"Gwaine?" the impostor asks.
"Ah…" Arthur grins. "One of my best Knights. I suspect he's already here, or will be here in a little while. I'll introduce you to him when he arrives, but in the meantime, lets grab a freshly brewed tankard of mead, shall we?"
The Prince looks around subtly, careful not to look too obvious as he looks for Gwaine. He really hopes that Merlin will be able to find that stone in the impostors chambers, and quick. Otherwise, the entire world could be doomed.
Merlin ducks quickly into a nearby corridor, Gwaine hot on his heels as a few guards emerge from down the hall. Turning to the knight, the manservant whispers, "If we get caught, do you know what to say?"
Gwaine nods and smirks at him. "Of course. I'll just say that Lord Borin requested your services."
Merlin glares at the knight. "Just say that Lord Borin asked me to fix a mite problem."
"What if it's Lord Borin who catches us?"
Merlin shrugs, "Then tell him he has a mite problem, and I'm fixing it."
When they arrive in front of Lord Borin's chambers, Gwaine takes his place by the door to keep watch, acting as a guard while Merlin slips inside the room to look for the Stone of Mortem. Arthur had described it as a green, medium sized stone with some sort of ancient runes etched into it. The manservant moves quickly, looking under the mattress, under the bed, in the dressers, drawers, cabinets, and safety bins. A half hour goes by until Merlin finds himself standing by the door, staring out over the entire expanse of the room. He realizes with a sinking feeling, that the stone is not in the chambers. The only other place it could be, would be with the impostor himself. Huffing in disappointment, Merlin opens the door and sticks his head out. Gwaine turns around with a hopeful look, only to see the manservant shaking his head in disappointment.
"It's not here."
Gwaine sighs and looks worriedly down the corridor. "We have nothing."
Merlin nods, "Yeah… I'll keep looking for a bit longer. You should head down to the tavern and tell Arthur."
"Should I let them leave the tavern?" Gwaine asks worriedly.
Merlin nods. "I just want to do a quick double check. I'll be out before you even get to the tavern."
The knight leaves quickly, leaving Merlin to go through Lord Borin's things again. After double checking several areas in the room until he comes to a halt at a box in the corner. He'd been so busy trying to find a stone, that he hadn't even noticed anything else. Particularly, the oddly familiar looking cloak poking out of the box. Merlin hurries to it, pulling the box open and taking out the cloak. Merlin's eyes are wide in utter shock when he sees an insignia that did not belong to Mercia, or even Cearleon, but rather, to the Kingdom of Ergyng.
Merlin pushes the cloak back into the box and turns to go to the door, but he stops in his tracks as the sound of footsteps approaches. Merlin makes a quick mental decision and dives under the large bed, making sure that his feet aren't poking out from under the bed, just as the door swings open, and he catches sight of a figure entering the room. It doesn't take much time for him to figure out that the person is female if the hem of the dress she's wearing is any indication. A dress that he's seen before, on the Princess of Ergyng herself.
…
A/N: Hope you all liked this chapter! I tried not to be sappy, but I think Merlin and Morgana deserve a bit of sappiness in this story. Next chapter, Princess Ophelia makes her first move in trying to eliminate Morgana, and Morgana's faux wedding to the Lord Borin impostor. Thank you for reading, and leave a review! I love you all for your wonderful reviews on the last chapter. I apologize for not replying to some, but I think you all would rather read a chapter update rather than a reply to your review. I'll be updating "The Art of Falling" next!
-McDiggin'It