"Well those drifters days are past me now
Ive got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave in, what to leave out"

-Against the Wind, Bob Seger

Normal. That's the watch word. I am normal. Everything's normal. Nothings not normal. I'm acting normal. I'm not being weird. Except I am. And I feel my mother's eyes boring into my skull. I'm afraid to look up, because she knows that I'm not normal. So I stick to looking at my breakfast, which coincidentally is shaped into a sad face.

Let's just say, it wasn't a very good morning.

With the entire town witness to the Sam and Jacob slap fest, the elders have been ever more adamant to show tribe unity. Or whatever bullshit power trip Old Quil is on, because he is disappointed with how and I quote "ill behaved" the Alpha's acted.

You know what I told my mother? Boo fucking who.

She just looked at me tisked at my language and muttered something about teaching me manners or something stupid like that. As if I give a shit about what Old Quil thinks of me.

Seth stumbles through the front door, and I glance up at the clock, 8:04am, he must have gone back out last night.

"Yo." He says to me wiggling his eyebrows in some sort of suggestive way. "Why's the food sad?"

I roll my eyes at him as if this is an obvious answer, and my mother comes back into the kitchen.

"Were you out patrolling with Jacob last night?" My mom hisses in his direction.

Cue awkward feeling now. No I'm not gonna be thinking about Jacob…nope not at all.

Seth looks almost as uneasy as I feel, actually he looks worse uneasy doesn't even describe the way his face looks right now, he looks absolutely petrified, but he answers slowly as if he's talking to a ticking time bomb, which right now he is, since moms is pissed, and like I've said before the wrath of Sue Clearwater isn't something you take lightly.

"No…Umm…I was with Quil. Jake asked me to patrol for him. I didn't think he wanted anyone in his head, you know after everything that happened yesterday..."

I think we all know what happened yesterday.

It was the day from hell.

With a sexy...shirtless…son of a bitch! I'm doing it again. NO thinking about this!

"Hurmph."

That sound shakes me out of my reserve because Sue Clearwater only makes that sound when she is truly pissed, not the pissed off 'my daughter is a bitch, but I love her' sound she usual makes towards me, it's the sound that says if you come near me I will murder you in your sleep. I've only ever heard that sound twice in my life and I have a feeling that the second person to ever face her wrath is in for it again.

Sucker!

I'm looking at Seth with huge eyes and a smirk, because it's about time Sam got his ass kicked by another Clearwater, but I turn only to find that he's looking back at me with an even more terrified look, if I didn't know any better I swear he just shit his pants. But he's not terrified for himself, or for me, and I know he'd never be worried about Sam. Its Jacob he's worried about because it's not only Sam that she's pissed at.

The poor unlucky bastard.

****

My mother's screaming. It's not like this is something that's uncommon in our household, but then again were not at home. Seth and I are flinching as her words come out because we both know the look of death that accompanies them, her words are harsh and intimidating, honor, repugnant, contemptuous, disappointing, and I know that we are so glad to be sitting outside while she yells and screams at Jacob and Sam about their "complete disregard for the safety of the tribe."

"Remind me never to get on your mom's bad side." Embry whispers to me.

We're sitting in a circle, cards are being thrown around and money is in the center, it feels just like yesterday that we were all one pack.

Paul's muttering things about winning or Rachel kicking his ass if keeps loosing, and I can't help but picture little Rachel Black beating dumbass Paul with a stick.

I hear Billy talking now, but the things he's saying aren't the ones we want to hear. The elders are lecturing both Alpha's, and I find it completely funny because technically they are chief, well one of them is, the other is a what co-chief? But they're being scolded like they're eight years old, and not the fully grown twice their size Alpha wolf's that they are.

Old people seem to have that effect on people. Well at least my mother seems to have that affect on me, and I have the smartest mouth in the entire world.

Old Quil is talking now, and in that snotty old person 'I'm old I've seen the world so you listen to me' bull is being told to the two of them, and I wonder why they haven't asked what the fight was about.

He's muttering things about getting along, and stop being so idiotic, and I can't help but think of them being put in a time out.

'Now you two will sit here until you've learned your lesson.'

'No fighting with each other'.

'But he started it'

'Not uh he did'

'Just apologize to one another and be quite!'

I get up and start to pace, the guys are looking at me like I've lost my mind and I tell them to shut up because I can't hear the Elders speaking any more.

The door opens slowly and Sam is the first to walk out with his head bowed down. His pack scrambles up to greet him, but he's not paying any attention to them, he's looking straight at me like it's my fault he's in this mess, and I glare at him because I didn't make him punch Jacob in the face, although it would be great if I could make Sam do anything. He opens his mouth to say something but the door bursts open and bangs the opposite wall almost taking the entire door with it and out strolls Jacob. I roll my eyes at this. Jacob Black sure knows how to make an entrance.

Every ones staring at him, and he's grinning sheepishly. Sam's scowling, and that makes me laugh. Everyone's looking at me now. And I know what they're thinking, Leah laughing? Holy hell! Weirder things have happened, dumbasses. And I forget that they can't hear me, so I just settle for rolling my eyes again.

They're looking uncomfortable. It's quite entertaining. Only Jacob's looking at ease right now and he's smiling at me, and I know I'm smiling back-because this is how it's always been, always in sync, so carefree, so easy...but I snap myself out of it as I hear the grinding of teeth, and someone exhaling deeply.

Sam's staring at us, and he's pissed. I'm not in the mood for his dumbassness, so I say what the hell and go in for the kill, because no one can piss Sam Uley off like I can.

"Yo, dumbass. Why don't you stop staring at me? I know that I emulate awesomeness, but staring at me isn't gonna change your douche-bagginess! So do me a favor and stop being a creeper!"

Sam's dumbstruck and I stifle back my laughter, and instead I glare at him. Too bad that my back is to the rest of my back, because the three idiots literally roll on the floor laughing at Sam's expression. No one knows what to do, Jared and Paul are holding back their laughter, but I know it has more to do with their loyalty to their ass hole of an Alpha than anything else.

Too bad the younger ones don't know any better, and they chuckle. It quickly stops when Sam glares at them. But that only breaks my façade and soon I'm laughing with the rest of my pack.

Ahem.

It's Jacob who clears his throat in what I know he thinks is a discreet way, it really isn't. But we all know when to quit acting like idiots.

Sam's staring at us now, his face looks like he's in awe struck, but I just think he looks like a moron so I roll my eyes at him.

"Leah-"

"Ugh-" I can't help but letting that sound out. "I was serious about you being a douche bag. I'm not just here for comic relief!" I tell him.

"Leah-" He says my name again, and he's looking at me in that 'we need to talk' way, but I really don't care. He's not allowed to speak to me let alone say my name.

But by this time Jacob's stepped in, and telling Sam to but out, and Seth's looking quite fierce, it's actually kinda cute that they're being all protective-if it wasn't for the fact that it's annoying as hell, because I can take care of myself. Especially when it comes to Sam. I swear if Sam wasn't standing right in front of us I'd probably tell them all off, but I won't give him the satisfaction of thinking that he has the better pack.

Sam's huffing and puffing and I fight the urge to insult him again. It only last for ten seconds.

"Stop huffing and puffing, you maybe a big bad wolf, but guess what? I'm smarter and more badass than you'll ever be. So go stick it up your ass."

And with that I walk away, well stalk angrily away, but it's been months since I've gotten to walk away without phasing, and being able to walk away with a group of werewolves gawking at my awesomeness sure is a great way to boost a girls ego.

"So that was interesting." I hear Quil mumbling as I walk away.

****

"Are we ever going to talk about last week?" My mother asks sitting down next to me on the couch.

No I don't want to. But the way she's looking at me, I turn off the TV and answer.

"You think we really need to?" I ask looking up at her.

"Leah…" Her voice is filled with such sorrow, that I can't help but look down.

I hate doing this to her. I hate the fact that I'm constantly stressing her out. It's not bad enough that she has to worry about Seth, but she has to worry twice if not three times as hard for me.

"I talked to Jacob."

Jacob? I don't want to talk about Jacob. I don't want to think about him. He's in the 'do not open' box. I can't think about him. What the hell does he have to do with anything? I've avoided him for an entire week, no way the bastard cornered my mom…I guess my face is betraying what I'm thinking because my mother answers my unasked questions.

"He's worried about you."

I can't help but roll my eyes as she says this. I swear if I had a nickel for every time someone said the phrase he's worried about you, I'd be richer than those stupid bloodsuckers.

"Yeah well tell him to stop. I don't need him." I can't help it, just as soon as it comes out I wish I hadn't said anything. My mother's face falls so quickly that my smirk goes away.

"Stop doing this." She tells me sternly.

I'm surprised at her outburst.

"Stop what?" I ask. Not because I'm being a smartass, but because I'm genuinely confused.

"Pushing him-them-us away. They love you…I love you." She tells me softly.

"Leah," She says gently, "I'm so sorry about last week." And with those simple words I know she's not talking about my tongue session with Jacob Black.

"Did you even remember?" I ask looking her in the eye.

"Of course I did." She tells me blinking back tears. "I just-" Her voice cracks, but she regains her composer quickly, "I didn't want you or your brother seeing me that way."

The way she says it, I know where my strength comes from. I know the reason I was able to pick myself up and move on when my entire world was crumbling from beneath me.

"Seth is still so young…and you, my beautiful daughter-" She says holding onto my face gently, "you're still so sad that you hide behind your anger, I just- I didn't want to burden you. So much of your life has been taken away from you…I'm just so sorry for that."

"It's not your fault." I tell her. Because it really isn't.

"I've loved your father since I was sixteen years old," She tells me softly.

"Oh he used to annoy me though, he'd always leave the toilet seat up, I'd have to wear ear plugs to bed, and the junk he would collect! I swear I was so glad when I told him I was pregnant with Seth because then he had to clear out his room and throw some of his thimbles away! The man never even picked up a needle in his life, and all he wanted was a thimble collection!" She says with a laugh.

I'm laughing along with her, because it's good to remember him. With my fears of forgetting him eating up at me it was nice to have someone to talk to.

"He would be so proud of you-of everything you've done here, he wouldn't want you blaming yourself." She says the last part as quietly as possible squeezing my hands, but I hear it. I hear everything she's saying, and everything she's not.

I look up at her, and force out a smile, and squeeze her hands back, because I know she loves me, and she doesn't blame me.

"Leah, I care about Charlie a lot." She says pulling me into her arms. "…but I don't-I don't ever want you to think that I've forgotten your father…I will never ever forget him." She says patting my head softly.

"Charlie is a good man." I whisper closing my eyes.

"I know you make each other happy, and I want that for you, I just-" My voice breaks and soon I'm fighting back the tears. But I burry myself further into my mother's arms and fight the tears.

"I miss him so much." I finally tell her. Because it's not fair. He shouldn't have been taken away. He should be here right now making fun of the stupid shows on TV with me. He should be here. It's not fair. No one else got their lives ripped up under them, no one got everything they worked for, everything they dreamed of, everything they love taken away from them. It's just not fucking fair.

And suddenly the tears are there again, pushing me to just let go and feel, because right here I'm safer than I have been in so many years. My mothers cooing softly and their isn't a doubt in the world that my mother loves me, that she'll always try to protect me…So for the first time in 5 years I cry like I've never cried before into my mother's arms.

^*^*^*^*

~TBC

A/N: Please don't be mad. I know there wasn't any Blackwater…but Leah's life doesn't revolve around a man. Can't have her going soft because Jacob finally maned up right? haha. I just felt that Leah needed to deal with some other issues before the Jake/Leah awesomeness could begin. It had to be done. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Updated: Someone asked what chapter 13's title meant [Fate:3 Leah:0], as in the counts: Fate: Sam, Harry Dying/ Her Phasing [although technically they are seperate things, they're grouped together in my mind since they happened around the same time] and of course Jacob.

Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews, they really do mean the world to me.