Chapter 14: Love

"Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love." Francis Bacon

Evan had always enjoyed Jennifer's company – now, with the added element of exploring a romantic relationship with her he found himself captivated. It wasn't that they talked any more or any less, or about anything they hadn't talked about before. The difference was that now he was free to notice the way the light sparkled from her eyes when she was amused, the way her pale skin pinked when he looked at her in a certain way, the hints of mysteries still to be solved in the way she smiled at him.

He noticed all those things and more ... as they dined, lingered for coffee, and on the walk back up to her door.

"Thank you Jennifer," he said, turning to face her. "It was an excellent evening."

"It was, wasn't it?" Jennifer smiled happily. "I should be thanking you though – I can't believe you wouldn't let me pay my share."

"Call me old fashioned," Evan shrugged, not troubled by the minor heat their conversation had suffered when he'd insisted that he would get the tab. "This is our first date, right?" Jennifer nodded. "Well my Mom always taught me that a gentleman looks after the lady he's chosen to be his date. You wouldn't want her to be ashamed of her son, would you?"

"I think you're old enough to set your own standards," Jennifer said pointedly.

"Then it's lucky for me that I happen to agree with her," Evan finished it by taking her hands and tugging her a little closer. "Just say your 'thank you' and we'll call it done."

"Thank you for a lovely evening Evan," Jennifer leaned up onto tip toes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

She made to shift back but he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "I think we can do better than that," he told her teasingly.

Mischief lighted her eyes as she nodded. He let her take her time, mindful of their early conversation at dinner and what it implied about the experience she might or might not have. She leaned up again, resting her lips against his for one heated instance before she looked at him as if judging his reaction. He watched her, his expression open and encouraging. That seemed to be enough for Jennifer – this time she launched up and kissed him properly. It was like the first time, heated and distracting enough for him to ignore where they were.

He tightened his arms to keep the two of them upright as he turned, resting her against her own door, the kiss continuing. At some point, and he couldn't recall later when, Evan took control of the pace. It was a surprise how compatible they were sexually – he'd told Jenn he was happy to go with the flow but if he followed that they'd end up in bed together before the night was out. She wouldn't want that, despite how enthusiastically she was kissing him back. When his hand touched the bare skin of her back – he didn't even remember pulling her shirt clear – and she shivered, he reluctantly pulled back.

Both of them were breathless as they looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to say.

"So, um, ... thank you again," Jennifer finally said, smiling weakly.

"Oh believe me, you're very welcome," Evan returned, touching a hand to her cheek.

Neither of them moved, the silence starting to get uncomfortable.

"This is awkward, isn't it?" she leaned back against her door, frowning.

"Not unless we let it be," he replied, moving to stand beside her, his back against the wall. Glancing down at her he decided complete frankness might help the situation. "I'm very attracted to you Jennifer – and a part of me would like nothing better than to have let that kiss go to its natural conclusion. But I want to enjoy getting to know this different side of you too, before we take it that far. There's no rush."

"I know, and I shouldn't be embarrassed. I'm a doctor for heaven's sakes," she shook her head. "I've just never felt this ... driven by another person before. It's disconcerting – in a good way of course," she added hastily.

"Oh, of course," Evan smirked, amused and delighted by her perspective. "So, I'll see you for breakfast?"

"You will," Jennifer agreed. "I have to work out what we're doing tomorrow."

"I'll look forward to it," he replied. It was definitely time for him to let her go but he felt reluctant. With a sigh he turned, taking her face gently between his palms and kissing her – not gentle; hot and purposeful because if she was going to be dreaming about anything that night it was going to be him. "Night Jenn," he said in a low tone, pulling away.

"Night Evan," she whispered.

Fumbling with her door she finally got it open, giving him a look that could only be described as longing before she disappeared inside.

Evan walked the few steps to his own door, opening it and walking inside. He went to the windows, looking down at the gardens as he considered the events of the evening. In the future someone was going to ask him when he'd first fallen in love with Jennifer Keller. He wouldn't have the answer ... it was so gradual that he really didn't know when the friendship had shifted to something deeper. Maybe he'd always loved her, from day one, but had been too stubborn to admit it to himself.

No, he wouldn't be able to say when he'd fallen for Jennifer, but he knew exactly when he'd first been sure of his feelings. Tonight, when he'd kissed her in front of a glass Christmas tree, and again later, at her door.

There was no going back ... he was irrefutably, never going to get over it, in love with Jennifer Keller. Now he just had to figure out how to win her love in return.

Jennifer stood with her back against her door, her heart still thumping loudly from that last kiss with Evan. He was so ... everything she didn't even have words to describe what he did to her. If he hadn't put on the brakes she'd have just let him have everything – all of her, no intimacies spared. That scared her – how much he could control her responses. But it excited her too. When – and there was no doubt in her mind that it would happen – they finally came together in the most intimate of ways she knew it was going to be amazing.

Smiling to herself she pushed away from the door, moving to the window. The snow covered the gardens, topping the trees with little white hats and covering the pathways with a fluffy blanket that would probably turn to ice by morning. It was magical and somehow fitting.

She'd fancied herself in love with Evan Lorne for so long it had become second nature to the point that she'd stopped considering what it really meant. Tonight the veil of routine had been stripped away and she'd realised that what she'd imagined she felt paled in comparison to her feelings now - she'd romanticised it but the reality was so much more consuming that she could have imagined. Only tonight did she appreciate what it meant to be in love with Evan, what it would require of her. She'd wanted it before, but now that she knew what it could be like she wanted to be with him more than anything else in the world.

Laughing at herself she crossed her fingers, wishing that one day he would feel even a portion of what she felt for him. Giving the gardens one final glance she moved away – she needed to work out what they were going to do the next day before she could fall into bed and dream about the future.

Authors Note:

I've finally had the time to finish writing this (mostly) - strangely it's turned out to be the 17 chapters I originally planned. So I'm back to posting every day until it's done. Hope you enjoy the fluff because there is more coming!