AN: I'm soo sorry, it took me so long to update (again). I totally understand if you all gave up on me. I'm just incredibly busy with real life. Plus, I had a serious bout of writer's block. I have story outline and all, but I just couldn't get anything right. *sight* But here it finally is, a new chapter! (Yay! So proud of myself.) I hope you'll like it.
Wednesday, 25th September 2272
The Call
Althea had just settled in to start her usual work for the day, when the com beeping interrupted her. Her brows furrowed and her hands turned cold as she recognized the caller ID. Spock had just left her to her work and not more than an hour could have passed since Spock and Sarek had informed T'Pau about Spock's betrothal to her, and here was a call from T'Pau's office. She It could be a call for Amanda, but somehow Althea doubted that.
Althea schooled her face into an equanimous expression as she activated the com. "Dr. Greyson's office, Althea Parker speaking." She thought it prudent to adhere to her position as Amanda's aid and remain as professional as she had always been.
T'Linyth's usual calm face greeted her, but still Althea thought she saw something different in her eyes. They scrutinized her. Or maybe T'Linyth really saw her for the first time and not only saw the function of T'Sai Amanda's personal aid.
"Greetings, Ms. Parker. T'Sai T'Pau wishes to speak with you." T'Linyth's voice was as eerily calm as it had always been.
Althea inwardly steeled herself for what she expected was to come. She quietly nodded her assent to T'Linyth. "I am honored by T'Sai T'Pau's request."
T'Linyth inclined her head. "I will put you through."
Althea involuntarily squared her shoulders as the screen turned to show the S'chn T'gai's seal which shortly after was replaced by T'Pau's regal features.
T'Pau's eyes bore into Althea. "Ms. Parker." she greeted the younger woman impassively.
Althea respectfully inclined her head to T'Pau. "T'Sai."
"I was informed by Spock and Sarek, that you accepted Spock's proposal of koon-ut so'lik." T'Pau cut to the point without delay.
"I did." Althea confirmed as quietly as she could.
"And Spock explained the consequences his actions most likely will have on his position in Vulcan society?" T'Pau asked.
"He did." Althea felt her hands clench slightly bunderneath her desk, out of T'Pau's view.
"Do you fully understand these consequences? Vulcan society and its cultural concepts are in some respect very different from Terran culture." The matriarch's eyes bore into Althea, scrutinizing her closely as she answered.
"I believe I do. I do not presume to understand it as well and as completely as a Vulcan would, but I very well understand that Spock virtually will be an outcast in Vulcan society, if he bonds with me without the S'chn T'gai's elders accepting his choice of bondmate. And I also understand the implications on the S'chn T'gai's internal clan politics." She trusted T'Pau would understand her hinting at T'Pau's own loss of power by loosing yet another heir.
T'Pau raised an eyebrow at Althea. "I take it you are willing to accept these consequences as a possible result of Spock's and your actions."
"I'm by no means willing to accept them. But I will accept what I cannot change. I know there is very little reason for me to hope that the elders decision will be in our favor, but I still will hope for it. Against all reason. For Spock's sake." She hoped she sounded firm but not overly emotional in her declaration.
T'Pau paused for a moment. "You do not wish for Spock to loose his place in Vulcan society?"
"Of course I don't."
"And you would take steps to prevent it?"
Althea furrowed her brows. What exactly was T'Pau getting at? "I would, if I could."
T'Pau steepled her hands in front of her face, a gesture that reminded Althea strangely of Spock. "You can withdraw your consent to his proposal of koon-ut so'lik."
Althea was speechless for a moment. Here it was then, T'Pau asking her to give Spock up. She had expected it all along, but still her stomach lurched at hearing the words spoken out loud. "This is the one thing, I cannot do."
"Cannot or will not?" T'Pau asked unmoved.
"Cannot and will not." She forced herself to look T'Pau straight in the eyes. It was too late for her to give him up. Even if she had wanted to, it was no longer in her power to do so.
"From my experience with humans I gather you are referring to your emotions making it impossible for you to withdraw you consent to bond with Spock." T'Pau surmised.
Althea gulped inwardly. "If you wish to know if I love Spock, then yes, I do."
"But you do not...love him enough to let him go and claim his place in the S'chn T'gai clan." T'Pau hesitated almost imperceptible before using the word love. It was not a word she usually used or an emotion she gave much consideration in her action. However, it was illogical to deny emotion existed. And even though she would never base her own actions on emotion, she very well was aware of the fact, that others did do so.
Althea felt her mouth drop open. From all the arguments she had expected from T'Pau to persuade her to let Spock go, she had never expected this. How was she supposed to answer to this? T'Pau basically had told her, she held on to Spock for purely selfish reasons. But then her eyes narrowed, as she felt herself getting angry at this attempt at emotional blackmail. And from a Vulcan at that.
She kept her voice carefully calm as she answered T'Pau. "I would let Spock go if he wanted me to do so. But he does not want to withdraw his proposal of koon-ut so'lik. When he told me about the likely consequences of our bonding, I offered him to free him from his proposal to me. But he refused. If he valued his position in Vulcan society higher than his promise to bond with me, I would accept it and gladly free him of any obligations towards me. But he does not. And I will not withdraw my acceptance of his proposal, simply because someone else believes his proposal to be illogical."
T'Pau held Althea's gaze for almost a minute, inwardly assessing the Terran's determinations. Althea felt her nails digging sharply into the palms of her hand while she forced herself not to flinch. Then T'Pau nodded. "Very well, Ms. Parker. I understand, you are not going to change your mind. I will no longer detain you from your work. Dif-tor heh smusma."
Without waiting for a response from Althea, T'Pau cut the connection and left Althea staring at the blank screen in front of her for some time. She felt her hands first unclenching then shaking slightly underneath the table, so she finally got up to get a cup of strong, hot black tea to calm her nerves. It was not an everyday occurrence that a Vulcan tried to emotionally bully her into doing something she absolutely had no intention of doing. And if that Vulcan happened to be the formidable T'Pau herself, she had every right to be a little shaken after the event.
She was quite sure T'Pau had used her reference to her love for Spock quite deliberately. Most likely T'Pau had thought it to be only logical to use an emotional argument in her discussion with the member of an openly emotional species. And it might just have worked, if she had talked to someone not already bonded and not absolutely sure of her bondmates commitment to her. And if she had not succeeded outright with such a person, she might just have succeeded in sowing a tiny seed of doubt that the relationship was doomed from the beginning because of the sacrifices needed to be made for it.
Althea closed her eyes for a second and pressed the hot cup of tea against her right cheek, breathing in deeply and letting the warmth from the cup seep into her cheekbone and hands. Then she put the cup down on her table without having taken a single sip from it and got up to talk to Amanda.
She quietly knocked on Amanda's door and waited for Amanda's call to let her enter.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I just had the most... peculiar call from T'Pau and thought Sarek and you should know about it as well."
Amanda raised her eyebrows and gestured for Althea to sit down. It seamed T'Pau had wasted no time. "I assume she asked you to end your betrothal to Spock."
Althea pressed her lips into a thin line before answering. "Well, not directly. She basically told me, if I truly loved him, I would give him up for his own sake."
Amanda's eyes widened slightly at Althea's statement. "She most certainly has come a long way since she tried to talk me out of bonding with Sarek. She was all facts and logic back then and didn't even mention emotions once." She paused for a moment. "How did you respond to T'Pau?"
"I told her the truth, that I had already offered Spock to free him from his proposal, when he told me of the consequences, but that he had declined my offer and that I therefore see no reason why I should withdraw my acceptance of him as my bondmate. There wasn't much to say after that."
"T'Pau didn't tell you the logical reasons for not bonding with Spock?" Amanda asked.
Althea shook her head. "She asked me, if I knew about the almost certain consequences of a bond between Spock and me, but nothing more."
"Well, she must still remember my reply to the logical reasons and might have thought it illogical to repeat that mistake." Amanda mused.
Althea looked curious but dared not to asked what exactly Amanda had said to T'Pau all those years ago. She was not quite sure, if her asking would be too much of an imposition. However, knowing Amanda for two years now, she could imagine some of it.
Amanda had to smile at Althea's all to evident curiosity on her face. "T'Pau explained to me in rather lengthy detail, why my bonding with Sarek was illogical and how he needed a wife to be able to become eldest mother of the S'chn T'gai. My knowledge of Vulcan culture and tradition was at his point rudimentary at best and I had basically only my human cultural background to draw from. I was furious after T'Pau's lecture and point blanc told her how antiquated Vulcan marriage rituals appeared to me and how betrothing children at the age of seven from my point of view seemed nothing more than barbaric. I informed her, how much more logical it was to have fully grown adults decide for themselves with whom they wished to bond, since seven years old children had hardly completed their formative years and matching them at such an age would most certainly lead to many rather disastrous matches. After that, I told her, she should trust in Sarek's ability to be able to chose for himself and that his elders had already chosen one wife for him which had proven to be a rather poor match in the end."
"Oh my, I can just imagine T'Pau's stony-faced reaction to this." Althea's voice sounded somewhat chocked from the laughter she tried to suppress as pictures of an infuriated young Amanda popped into her mind, telling T'Pau, one of the most powerful people in the Federation, off.
"Well, T'Pau immediately contacted Sarek after our talk. Obviously she feared for his mental sanity, having chosen me for his bondmate. He never really told me, what exactly they said to each other during their conversation, but a few weeks later, the S'chn T'gai elders sanctioned Sarek's and my bond." Amanda continued. "It was only some time later that I learned the whole truth why Vulcans betrothed their children at such an early age." She paused for a moment and looked at Althea. "Spock has explained pon farr to you, hasn't he?"
Althea felt her face growing suddenly very hot and probably beet red as unbidden images of certain events in a Vulcan library sprang into her mind. "Uhm... Yes, he has." she finally managed to say.
Amanda pitied Althea a little bit, as she imagined the embarrassment of having to go through the talk with one's boss. But she also remembered how frightened she had been before Sarek went into his first pon farr with her. She really had wished to have someone with whom she could have talked about it. "If there is anything you want to know about it, you can always ask me."
Althea turned even redder than before. "Thank you. But... but I think really don't have questions right now." She honestly appreciated Amanda's offer, but she just couldn't imagine asking her questions about pon farr. Honestly, right now she wished she could just melt into her chair or something. She wasn't a prude, or at least she thought she wasn't, but somehow this was still embarrassing.
Amanda only nodded. She was quite sure, Althea would have questions when Spock's time drew closer. And by then, she hoped, their relationship would have changed enough for Althea to not almost die from embarrassment when talking about pon farr with her. For now it was only important that Althea knew, there was someone she could talk to, if she wanted or needed to.
=/\=
Althea sighted when her com signaled again shortly after she had returned to her desk. She only hoped it wasn't T'Pau again. Even though she wouldn't take back a word she had said, she still felt inwardly rattled by the matriarch's call.
"Accept call." she ordered the com station. She rarely used voice activation, but the day so far had worn her down to a certain degree.
But it was not T'Pau's face, that appeared on the screen but Soran's. She instantly felt herself relaxing somewhat. "Soran, I'm glad it's you."
Soran raised an eyebrow at her. "Were you expecting another call? If my call is inconvenient, I will call back at a later time."
Althea couldn't help smiling. "No, I'm not expecting any calls. I only had a very interesting call from T'Pau moments ago and my human imagination led me to believe for a second T'Pau intended to continue our discussion."
"I believe I am aware of the topic of your discussion with T'Sai T'Pau." Soran stated. "I also believe my current request might be related to it."
"Ambassador Sarek told me to expect your call." Althea leaned back a little bit in her chair.
Soran inclined his head in acknowledgment. "I need clearance to access various files on you. I have prepared a document for you to sign to grant me the necessary access."
Althea only nodded. "Just send it over. I will authorize the access you need."
"I also made an appointment with one of the embassy's healers for you." Soran continued. "I will send you the date. Of course you can reschedule if I picked an inconvenient date."
Althea felt herself flush slightly. All this made her feel more like a convenience to be sold than a human being. It was embarrassing to be assessed like this. But she reacted to it like a human, not a Vulcan. She had to let go of some of her human sensitivities and at least accept the Vulcan point of view. "Thank you, Soran. I will do my best to keep the appointment. It's important after all."
Soran scrutinized her intently. He hadn't missed the slight flush creeping into Althea's face and the subtle changes in her body language. "You appear to be troubled by this."
"Uhm." Althea hesitated, unsure how to proceed and what to say. "I find the Vulcan process of finding and securing a mate quite different from the Terran way. Some things customary in Vulcan society would be considered outright offensive in most Terran societies. In some respects it is rather difficult for me to suppress my culturally ingrained reactions to certain things."
Soran tilted his head, his curiosity obviously piqued. "I am aware this is a subject customarily not discussed, but may I asked which of our customs appear offensive to most Terran societies and why."
"Well, if one human would ask another human to provide a bill of health before marriage, this would be considered very offensive. Since most human couples marry out of love it is generally expected both parties trust each other and do not keeps secrets from one another. Trust is generally acknowledged as a necessary prerequisite for love. But asking for a bill of health implies one party doesn't trust the other party. It suggests one party withheld important information. A lack of trust in turn implies there is no true love between the couple, which would be considered a sufficient reason to call off a wedding."
Soran nodded. "I understand. In Vulcan culture providing this information is considered logical, since bondmates are selected according to biological and psychological compatibility." He paused before asking: "Do you feel offended by the request for a bill of health?"
Althea shook her head. "No, I don't feel offended, since I'm aware of the differences between Terran and Vulcan culture and because I know why this is asked of me. But I can't deny feeling uncomfortable. I have to, well, unlearn certain culturally ingrained reactions which is not always easy."
He looked pensive for a moment. "I indeed encountered similar situations myself. They can be rather confusing and require adaptation on both parts."
"They do. And in this particular case it is simply I who will have to adapt." Althea stated rather matter-of-factly.
Soran steepled his hands in front of him in the typical Vulcan fashion and looked intently at Althea. "You have explained many confusing Terran behavioral patterns to me. If you are in need of explanations of Vulcan customs and behavior you do not understand do not hesitate to ask. I will endeavor to explain them to you to the best of my abilities."
Althea gave Soran a warm smile. "This means a lot to me, Soran. I am deeply honored by your offer."
Soran again raised an eyebrow. "If I remember correctly from one of your explanations, the appropriate answer now would be: You are most welcome."
Althea couldn't help laughing. "Yes, that is indeed the perfect reply."