Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

Homecoming

by silly bella

Bella frowned at me from the bed. Not an angry frown. This was more like confusion. Then she laughed. "What happened to you?" She raised her knees and wrapped her arms around them, curling up like a ball.

Needless to say, I was a little surprised at her response to my arrival. "What do you mean?"

"You look a little… disheveled." She grinned and waited for me to respond.

I glanced at myself in the mirror. My clothes were filthy, rumpled and covered in grass stains and dirt. One sleeve was partially ripped off, and the collar dangled down the front of my shirt. A smudge of mud plastered my jaw. I even had soil flecked through my unkempt hair. I lowered my head. Way to make an impression.

"Edward, what happened?" Her voice was low, her expression grave.

This was embarrassing. There she sat on the bed looking perfect in a satin nightgown that matched her blush. And her scent, mixed with the faint clean smell of soap, filled the room. The contrast was almost symbolic, she, pure and angelic, me, a filthy monster. How could Emmett be right? How could she love me, still? How could she ever have loved me? "Emmett and I had a fight," I mumbled.

"Oh. Are you… hurt?" Her tone was filled with concern. She motioned to the rocking chair, and I sat down.

She cared whether or not I was hurt! That was a good thing. "No. To do any real damage Emmett would have had to rip off an arm or a leg or bite me. And even if he ripped off a body part, as long as he didn't burn it, it would heal."

"Is Emmett hurt?" She raised her eyebrows and grinned. I could tell she felt pretty confident he wasn't.

"No. He's fine." I glanced at my clothes. "He's also probably clean by now."

Her face became serious; her lips formed a grim line. Then she spoke, "Why were you fighting?"

"He was angry at me because I lied to you when we left." Not half as angry with me as I've been for the last fifteen years. I threw away your love. The most sublime gift that anyone could bestow, her love. Bella's love. Like heaven's grace. And I cast it aside.

"So he started a fight?" Her disbelief was apparent.

I hung my head. "Not exactly." I mumbled. I started it. Another thing for me to be ashamed of.

"Then what?" She raised her hands, palms up.

With a sigh, I lifted my eyes to meet hers. "He wants me to change you. I mean, he wants us to work things out, and then for me to change you."

Her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of what I was telling her. "And he thought fighting was the best way to bring that about?"

"No." I wished she would stop asking questions.

"So why did he hit you?" she demanded.

"Because I hit him," I admitted reluctantly.

She laughed, her head tilting back, revealing her neck. The pale white skin that was always so inviting, so tempting. When she leaned forward again, her damp braid fell over her shoulder. "I see. Which part was it you had a problem with? Changing me? Or working things out?"

"Bella, you know why I can't change you. I can't take your soul," I pleaded. Would she never understand? I could not – would not – condemn her to this soulless existence. "I love you too much to do that to you."

She shut her eyes and whispered, "Do you? Or is it that you know you don't want me around forever?" Her face crumpled as she waited for my response.

How could she think such a thing? Forever meant nothing without her, without at least knowing that she was alive and happy. "I can't damn you for eternity, Bella. No matter how much I want you, I can't do that." She started laughing again. "Why is that funny?" Bella still didn't respond to things like a normal person.

"According to my mother-in-law, I've already taken care of damning myself." She grinned as the blush crept up her cheeks.

Now she wasn't making any sense at all. "What are you talking about?"

"Tony and I eloped. It was a civil wedding, not a church one," she explained. "His mother is old school Catholic, so that doesn't count as married. As far as she's concerned, I've led Tony straight to hell along with me because we spent thirteen years living in sin."

"That's insane," I spat out.

She shrugged. "That's my mother-in-law. And it's no more insane than what you believe."

"Perhaps we should concentrate on working things out." I tried to change the subject.

I could hear the sarcasm in her voice when she spoke again. "And what does Emmett recommend there?"

"He said that you were angry. And hurt." As if I needed Emmett to tell me that. What else would she be?

"You needed Emmett to help you figure that out?" She echoed my thoughts.

"No. I knew that. But he pointed out that you haven't really had an outlet for your anger." I paused, letting myself feel the pain I'd been fighting for years. "I know that I deserve whatever you have to say to me. I deserve that and more. I should never have left you. I certainly should never have told you that I didn't love you. I wanted so much to protect you, and I just kept placing you in dangerous situations. Even with my family, it was dangerous."

"I was willing to face the danger." She wore the same determined expression I remembered. I'd seen it over and over, every time she tried to persuade me to change her.

My reasons remained the same. "I couldn't bear the thought of what might happen to you. I didn't want to lose you."

"So you left me?" She laughed bitterly and shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense, Edward. That was just another way to lose me." She squeezed her arms more tightly around her legs, inhaling and exhaling slowly, struggling as she breathed.

"I didn't want you to die, Bella. I decided the best way to protect you was to let you live a normal human life." A happy life. Even if it didn't include me.

She was quiet for a moment. "I suppose I should thank you for that. It may not have been what I would have chosen then, but my life has been mostly happy. And there's Mari Alice." She smiled. A real smile. The kind I hadn't seen in years. It took my breath away. I couldn't help but smile back.

"So there was at least something right about what I did?" I whispered, afraid I might break the magic spell by talking and scare her smile away.

She fluttered her eyes shut for a moment. Remembering, I suppose. But she continued, smiling. "I don't know that I would have missed my life if I'd never known it. But now I can't imagine not having those years."

"That they were good years eases my regret just a little." Not much. Not enough to make me feel less mortified by my own behavior. "I can't imagine the guilt and despair I would feel if your life had turned out differently. I've been tormented enough as it is." I wanted to reach out to hold her, to wrap my arms around her and never let her go. But I was too scared. I might frighten her away forever.

"Why did you lie to me when you left?" Her voice, barely a whisper, trembled. Clearly, her emotions were still raw.

"I didn't believe you would let go, and if you didn't let go then you would never be able to move on and be happy." I felt so disgusted with myself. It had never been a good decision. Now it seemed even more heinous than before. "Lying to you was the most difficult thing I've ever done."

She seemed surprised. "You hadn't told Emmett what you said? Not after all this time?"

"I hadn't told any of them. I felt too ashamed," I admitted. "Even Alice didn't know. I was afraid she might have seen it, but I think she was so focused on helping Jasper pull himself together that she missed it. She'd have never let it go without saying something if she'd seen it."

Her brow furrowed. "So why did they think you left?"

"They knew why I left. The real reason," I assured her. "To protect you – from us. From others like us."

"And now it's all rather a mess." Her expression changed in an instant from grave to amused. "Kind of like you right now." She laughed.

"I should have changed clothes." How could I have been so stupid? It never occurred to me that I might be in such total disarray. "I just didn't think about it. He said… I hoped… I can go clean up and come back so we can talk."

"You don't have to leave." It surprised me when she stood and walked towards me. The play of the moonlight over the satin of her nightgown mesmerized me. She shimmered, every movement accentuating the curves of her body. She reached out to touch a smudge on my cheek. "Wait here," she whispered.

She left the room quietly, returning a few moments later with a basin of water, washcloths and towels. She stepped behind me and rubbed a damp cloth over my hair. The water felt warm, but it was Bella's gentle touch that melted my heart. She scrubbed the dirt from my hair and towel dried it. I couldn't help smiling like a fool when she came back to face me. My mouth dropped open when her nimble fingers began to unbutton my shirt. Her fingers brushed against my chest and when I tried to speak, my mouth refused to form words. Bella laughed at the indecipherable noises I made. "Take it off. Pants too." She must have noticed my resistance, because she added, "You're filthy, Edward. Off. Now."

"Bella, I…" I wasn't exactly sure what to say. She pursed her lips and gave me an expectant look. I stood and shed my shirt then staggered out of my shoes and socks as my pants caught on them. I wished I'd worn boxers instead of boxer-briefs that day. I might have felt a little less exposed, but Bella took my near-nudity in stride. She pointed to the rocker, and I sat obediently. She leaned in with the washcloth, her scent filling the air. I inhaled deeply, enjoying it as I would any forbidden pleasure. Every inch of my skin prickled as she rubbed gently along my jaw, cleaning my face. She dipped the cloth in the water again and lifted up my hand, caressing each finger as she scrubbed away the mud. Then she switched to my other hand.

When she finished, she dropped the cloth into the basin. She caught my gaze, and after some hesitation, whispered, "Do you truly love me?" She seemed a bit afraid of my answer.

I reached for her hands, taking them both in mine, and answered her in a low voice. "Truly, I do." Her face relaxed then beamed with a smile. I wasn't sure whether to be shocked or pleased when she climbed onto my lap and kissed me, but when I felt her body pressed against my chest, I opted for thrilled and met her lips with mine. I held her close and marveled at her warmth. I inhaled her scent, enjoying both the pleasure and pain it caused. My lips traced her neck, finally resting in the warm hollow between her collarbones. She kissed me, her lips pressing ever-so-gently against my forehead. My exile was over; I had returned home.