A/N: Whoa - this chapter got a little out of hand. I didn't mean for it to be quite this long. But they were very busy and I couldn't rein them in. Our reward is the s-e-x they have at the end of this chapter! Hope you enjoy reading it half as much as I enjoyed writing it!! Let me know? Thanks!!
They spent the better part of the day sorting through all of the items in the living room, the den, and the kitchen, their cleaning and sorting interrupted when Maddie insisted that they stop long enough to eat lunch. After they ate, Jim went upstairs into Winona's room to discover that Maddie had done the majority of that cleaning already.
"These boxes are for charity," Maddie explained, pointing to the 3 packed boxes. "This one is to be thrown out. And these two, you'll need to sort through," she said gently. She sniffed as she looked around the nearly empty bedroom, stripped of all the signs that it had been inhabited.
"Thank you for doing this, love. I know it was hard on you," Jim said, kissing her head.
She shrugged at his words, looking up at him. "No way you could do it, baby," she said, wiping her eyes and nose with a crumpled tissue.
"Aleola would have come and done it," he told her, one arm around her shoulders.
"I know. But it was my place. Winona was…." She stopped, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry, Maddie."
"Me too, baby. Me too."
They carried the boxes to be sorted down with them, putting it with the others. By the time they had to leave for the appointment at Courtney's office, there were 6 total boxes of donations, 7 bags of trash to be disposed of, and 2 smaller boxes that Jim would arrange to have put in storage. Those boxes contained mostly photo albums along with a few mementos of his childhood. There was an even smaller box that Jim wanted to take back to the Enterprise with him. It held a picture of his mother, his brother and him in happier times. There was also a picture from Winona's bedroom he wanted. It was taken right after his mother married Frank, looking beautiful and content. He had debated about whether or not he wanted it but the expression on her face was so lovely, he didn't have the heart to leave it behind.
After washing off the dust that inevitably accumulated despite Maddie's best efforts, they said their good-byes and drove back to town to meet with Courtney. Jim found a convenient space on the street where Courtney's office was located, leading Spock to a brick building that had a hardware store on the street front.
"Your lawyer's office is in a hardware store?" Spock asked when they stopped before it.
"No," Jim laughed, going past the window front. "Her office is above it," he explained, pointing at the door between the hardware store and the cheesecake bakery next door. The door was old-fashioned wood, with a grainy window at the top on which was painted 'Courtney St. Peter – Attorney at Law.'
"I see," Spock said, following Jim through the door and up the wooden steps that creaked beneath their feet.
When they reached the top of the steps, they came to a second door that had a buzzer next to it. "Yes?" came the response when Jim pressed the button.
"Jim Kirk here to see Courtney," Jim said into the antiquated speaker. His words were followed by the buzzing of the lock, and he pushed open the door to enter the outer office. It was old fashioned in some ways, wooden floors gleaming in the afternoon sun that shone through the huge picture window that overlooked the street. Beneath the window were several comfortable chairs and a coffee table with magazines. Opposite the window was situated a large desk with two computers, behind which sat a young man, presumably Kyle Vernon.
"Mr. Kirk," Kyle said, standing up to greet him.
"Captain Kirk," Spock corrected, making Jim smile on the inside.
"Yes, of course. I apologize," Kyle said with a nod. "Ms St. Peter is expecting you." He turned to the hallway, leading them back to Courtney's office.
She stood when they arrived, smiling broadly at them. "Jim," she said, hugging him before releasing him to study him with a knowing eye. She finally nodded, turning her attention to Spock.
"Courtney, this is Commander Spock. The finest First Officer in Starfleet. And my best friend," Jim said warmly.
"Commander. It's good to make your acquaintance," Courtney said with a very warm smile.
"Thank you. It is good to meet you," Spock returned.
"Would you like some coffee, Jim?" Courtney offered, gesturing to two comfortable chairs in front of her desk.
"No, thanks. I would take some Pepsi if you have it."
"Of course I do," Courtney agreed with a smile. "Commander?"
"Nothing for me," Spock said.
"Kyle, please get the Captain a Pepsi. And I'd like a glass of water."
Kyle nodded and left, closing the door behind him.
"He didn't insult you again, did he?" Courtney asked with a charming laugh.
"Not this time," Jim assured her with a return smile.
"Good," she nodded.
"He did call the Captain Mr. Kirk," Spock said with what Jim knew was a hint of amusement.
"That was his nervousness," Courtney assured them. "He's a little star-struck. As we all are."
"Not you," Jim said. "You've seen me too many times at my worst."
"You are no longer that person, Jim. You haven't been for a long time," she assured him.
"Thanks, Courtney. Frank thinks I am," he said ruefully.
"Frank's an idiot," Courtney reminded him. "And he'll be kept safely behind bars for the next 3 months. Vladimir had a chat with a couple of his judge friends. Suggested that Frank should have never been released to start with. No improprieties were involved, mind you. Just unclear thinking when he was given early release."
"Tell him thank you for me," Jim requested, accepting the glass of Pepsi when Kyle returned with it.
Courtney accepted her water with a nod of dismissal. "I can't really thank him, sweetie. I'm not supposed to know," she laughed.
"Ahh…" Jim said with a smile.
"How was your interview with the Des Moines Registry?" Courtney asked conversationally.
"Fine. They sent Marcia Spangler. Seems decent enough. It didn't last especially long," he said with a shrug.
"I've read her work," Courtney said with a nod. "She is always balanced and even-handed. She'll do right by you."
"She said the Registry assigned her to the memorial service," Jim sighed. "I guess we have to expect more press than just her."
"Seems likely," Courtney said in sympathy. "Winona was your mom."
"Yeah. And George's widow," Jim had to agree.
"That's only secondary, sweetie. The press will be coming because of you, not your father."
"I prefer they didn't come at all. And how do they find out so fast? Is there some secret memorial service underground?"
"There may be," Courtney agreed with a warm laugh. "I haven't gotten any calls from any other news services. So maybe the Registry will be the only one in attendance."
"Starfleet will undoubtedly send a reporter," Spock commented.
"Probably. But he'll be respectful and distant. And if he isn't, Chris will talk to him," Jim said.
"Admiral Pike is coming?" Courtney asked.
"He is," Jim agreed. "Will you discuss selling the house to Starfleet with him?"
"I'll talk with him," she agreed. "I'm looking forward to meeting him."
"He's truly one of a kind," Jim said with a smile.
"So I've heard," Courtney said with a nod. "I have Winona's recorded will and testament cued up to play, sweetie. Are you ready to watch it?"
"Yeah. When did she record it?" Jim asked.
"Eighteen months ago. She had to change it after the divorce went through but she kept putting it off. John Sebastian wanted to know why you weren't coming to his office to view it but I said you were coming here and that was that."
"Thank you," Jim said, glancing at Spock. "Mr. Sebastian was Winona's lawyer. He was never shy in letting me know that he thought I was worse than useless. Especially when I asked Courtney to represent me instead of him."
"It is important to have a lawyer whom you trust," Spock said to Jim's nods.
"That's for sure," Jim agreed, looking back to Courtney. "Should we go into one of the viewing rooms?"
"That's not necessary. You can watch it right here," she said, picking up a remote and pressing one of the buttons so that a screen descended from the break in the ceiling tiles above the side wall of her office. Once it was all the way down, she pressed a second button and a note that said something about "John Sebastian, Esq. Attorney at Law" showed up on the screen. That image faded away and the face of Winona Kirk appeared.
"I know it's cliché to say, but I guess if you are watching this vid, it means I've died," she said with a slight smile.
Spock could feel Jim's tension at the appearance of his mother's face, his face completely still and blank. Spock could only imagine what Jim was thinking as he watched his mother continue.
"I hope that Jim has come home to see this. I can't say I'd be entirely surprised if he didn't but it would be nice if he were in Iowa. Being a Captain is hard work so if you are having to watch this aboard your ship, know that I understand."
Jim's expression did not change at her words, his expression still impassive.
"The written and signed version of my will has all of the required legal language. Do know that I am in sound mind and body as I record this. And it does represent my wishes for such a time as I have died.
"I leave to Tyrl and Madeline Grant the sum equivalent to three years of their salaries. If they choose to leave the farm as a result, that is certainly understandable. They have been tireless, devoted employees and I could not have wanted for better people to help with the farm. Or as better friends.
"To Boston, Morgan, and Arnessa Grant, I leave each of them one year of their parents' salary. It won't pay for all of their college but it will help. I also leave my heartfelt gratitude for their presence in my life.
"To my son James Tiberius Kirk, I leave all of my other worldly possessions, without exception.
"And I'm sorry, Jim, but when I was preparing this will, Mr. Sebastian discovered that you can't sell the farm. I know you won't ever return to Iowa permanently and this is an inconvenience to you. But if you try to sell it, the state of Iowa can claim ownership. Your grandfather Tiberius wanted to make sure it remained the property of the Kirk family and arranged with the state to seize it should any remaining Kirk attempt to sell it. If you never have children, it will transfer ownership at your death to a distant cousin in Minnesota. I asked Mr. Sebastian to see what he could do, but there is no way to alter the terms of the property title." Winona paused, knowing that he would need a moment to absorb her words.
"Please take care of yourself, Jim. You deserve only the best from life."
And with that, the image of his mother faded from the screen. Jim barely knew what to think. Mostly what he was thinking was 'what the hell?' He couldn't sell the fucking farm. He couldn't get rid of it. It was his. Great. Just fucking great. Tied to Iowa forever.
"Jim," Spock said quietly, one light hand on Jim's arm.
"Unbelievable," Jim said a little harshly. "Un-fucking-believable."
"I'm sorry, Jim. When I read her will, I did look into it," Courtney said. "If you try to sell it, Iowa will claim the property. And even though I know you don't need the money from the sale, you still don't want them to seize it."
"Why in God's name would he do that?" Jim demanded.
"I don't know, sweetie. It's unusual, I'll grant you that. Vladimir thinks it's because he didn't want George to join Starfleet and this was his way of keeping him tied to Earth."
"And Vladimir can't do anything about it?" Jim asked.
"No. He tried. He called Senator Blackraven and the Senator said it's ironclad. You try selling the farm, it belongs to Iowa."
"Okay," Jim said, taking a deep breath. "Okay. But I can lease it to Starfleet, right?"
"There's nothing to stop you from leasing it," Courtney agreed.
"That's something, at least. Pike said they wanted to make it a living classroom. So it will still be a farm. And Starfleet will be responsible for it. I'll lease it to them for the cost of the property taxes."
"That will be fine," Courtney said with a nod.
"Can you write up that agreement?" Jim asked her.
"I can. I'll ask Heidi Greenleaf to review it," Courtney said.
"Okay. Make sure that anything that happens on the farm is Starfleet's problem. The well run dries – I don't want them asking me what to do. It's their problem. Not mine."
"I will, sweetie. You will be a true absentee landlord. If there is anything they absolutely cannot decide for themselves, they can contact me," Courtney assured him.
"Thank you," Jim agreed.
"If they make money from the crops, what becomes of the profits?" Spock asked.
"It will go to Starfleet, right?" Jim asked Courtney.
"It can. You can receive a portion. A percentage."
"Do I need to ask for that?" Jim asked in curiosity.
"It doesn't really matter," she said. "Most landlords include the provision so that they know how much the farm is making. But in this case it probably isn't necessary. Since you don't care and Starfleet will undoubtedly use the profits on the farm."
"True. Can I make sure that the profits assist the farm?"
"Of course," she agreed.
"Good. Will the students receive a stipend?"
"That's up to Starfleet, dear. Do you want to include that as part of the leasing agreement?"
"Perhaps that is a question for the Admiral," Spock suggested.
"Yeah – that makes sense," Jim agreed. "You can wait until I talk to him on Wednesday, right?"
"Certainly. It will take a few days to draft the agreement at any rate. I'll have it done before you leave."
Jim nodded at that. "And can I appoint you to act in my stead?"
"Of course," she confirmed. "I'll draw up that paperwork too."
"Thanks," Jim said. "It might have been nice if she had mentioned this to me."
"I know, Jim. And it's entirely possible she tried. I understand you weren't exactly communicative with her," Courtney said mildly.
"I did read all of her messages. Maybe not as soon as I got them. But eventually," Jim said with a shrug.
"I don't blame you, dear. No one does. Not even Winona."
Jim nodded at that, taking a deep breath. "What else do we need to do?"
"Nothing else right now. You'll need to sign the paperwork once it's drawn up. I'll do everything I can to have it done by Wednesday so that the Admiral can also sign it. Then I'll register it with the state."
"Thanks. When will you have Winona's death certificate?"
"I'll have it for you on Thursday."
"Alright. Does her will have to be probated?" Jim asked with a frown.
"I can be appointed executor for you in abstenia. I'll draw up those forms for you. Vladimir can adjudicate them while you are still here."
"There is no conflict of interest in his presiding?" Spock asked.
"No. It's purely a formality. Jim can't stay on Earth long enough to take care of all of it. So I can be made executor for him."
"Good," Jim said. "I guess I'll be giving you power of attorney, as my attorney."
"Something like that," she agreed with a light laugh.
"Okay," Jim agreed. "I think I'd like to put a memorial stone in the cemetery for her. By George's. And one for Sam if Winona didn't do it. Do you know the process for that?"
"I'll call the cemetery, dear. If you need to purchase the plots, I'll have them bill me. And you can talk to the monument maker here in town. Mr. Bachman did George's. Or his father did."
Jim nodded at that. "His building still at the corner of Maple and Greer?"
"It is," Courtney agreed.
"Do you know if Winona put a stone in for Sam?"
"No I don't. I can ask the cemetery. They'll know."
"Oh. I guess I need to contact them now. So I can stop at Mr. Bachman's today," Jim said.
Courtney nodded at that, connecting with the cemetery as Jim waited. She asked Jim's questions, learning that the Kirk family already owned sufficient plots, and George's stone was currently by itself. Once Jim arranged with Mr. Bachman to have the new stones made, Mr. Bachman could have them delivered. It was a simple matter and one for which Jim did not need to be present.
"Thank you for your help, Mrs. Dobson," Courtney said as she disconnected. She called the monument maker, learning that Mr. Bachman was in fact at his shop and would gladly talk with Captain Kirk about his needs. Twenty minutes would be very convenient to him, if it was equally convenient to the Captain.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Bachman," Courtney said, listening briefly. "Yes, Judge Kozlov will be hearing your suit. I am not permitted to say more than that. You know that…..yes, I'll tell Captain Kirk…. Of course…. Goodbye," she said, finally able to disconnect.
"Vladimir is hearing a case involving Mr. Bachman?" Jim asked in curiosity.
"It's an old lawsuit between the Bachmans and their former stone supplier. It's complicated and frankly stupid but the Bachmans won't let it go," she explained with a shrug.
"They always have been a stubborn lot," Jim agreed.
"Sadly. Vladimir wants to throw them all out of his courtroom every time they appear but that would be unseemly," she admitted with a laugh.
"I can imagine," Jim said, standing. "Thanks for everything, Courtney. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you."
"The same as you always do, dear. Find a way to make it work out. That's why you are Captain Kirk," she reminded him fondly.
He laughed at her words, shaking his head. "From anyone else, that would feel like an insult."
"You know I don't mean it to be," she scolded with a smile. "Call me if you need anything else. And we'll see you at 3 on Wednesday if I don't see you before then."
"I will call," he agreed, hugging her lightly and glancing at Spock. "Anything else you can think of?"
"Not presently," Spock said.
"It was lovely to meet you, Commander," Courtney said, walking them out to the main door.
"You as well, Ms St. Peter," Spock returned politely.
"Please, call me Courtney. We are practically family," she said with a charming smile.
He inclined his head at her words. "If you will call me Spock."
"I will be delighted," she said, opening the door for them. "Try to stay out of trouble."
"I'll do everything I can," Jim laughed, leading Spock down the steps and back out onto the street.
"What does she mean, 'practically family'?" Spock asked as they walked down the sidewalk.
"Courtney is very perceptive. She knows."
"Knows?" Spock repeated.
"That I'm head-over-heels in love with my First Officer," Jim told him with a smile.
"And how did she discern this fact?"
"I told you. She's very perceptive. She knows me better than practically anyone. Except you and Bones."
"And Admiral Pike," Spock added, making Jim laugh.
"Yeah. The monument company is on the next block. Let's just walk over there."
"Very well," Spock agreed, walking down the street with Jim, curious glances coming their way. He wondered if the people in the town recognized them or if they were simply interested in the two strangers. "We seem to be creating some interest."
"You think?" Jim laughed. "Chances are good they recognize us. Or at least you. I'm sure they can't imagine that I'm Captain Kirk. But you are pretty distinctive."
"As are you," Spock said, a hint of admiration in his voice.
Jim laughed at his words and his tone, shaking his head. "But not unique in Iowa."
"Only in so far as you are not a Vulcan in Riverside. Otherwise you are, as Dr. McCoy is fond of reminding you, truly one of a kind."
"Except he's insulting me every time he says it," Jim laughed.
"He has unusual methods for demonstrating his true feelings."
"That's for sure," Jim agreed, turning the corner to walk down the next block. It didn't take particularly long for them to come to the monument makers, Mr. Bachman the junior in the workroom to greet them. Certainly he knew from the records the type of stone that had been used for George's monument. Not everyday they carved a memorial stone for an intergalactic hero. And certainly they would be able to match the stone for the two new ones. Not precisely of course. Then there was the weathering that would distinguish the new from the old but still. Did the Captain have a particular quotation or scripture in mind for the two stones?
That question gave Jim pause. Placing the stones was the right thing to do. What they should say was an entirely different matter. He looked at Spock in some surprise, his mind threatening to close down at the unexpected necessity of deciding.
"What is on the first Captain Kirk's stone?" Spock asked smoothly.
"Engraving of the Kelvin. And a quote from Albert Einstein - Only a life lived for others is worth living," Mr. Bachman explained.
Jim nodded at that. Albert Einstein might not have been his first choice but it seemed fitting.
"Did your mom have a favorite poem, maybe?" Mr. Bachman asked in a tone that implied he often had to ask such a question.
"Probably. I don't know what it would be," Jim admitted, looking at Spock. "I should ask Maddie."
"It seems likely that she would know what would be appropriate," Spock agreed. "And for your brother?"
"He was a great fan of the book The Little Prince and its author, Antoine de Saint-Exupery," Jim said thoughtfully, remembering happier times with his brother. "One quote he used to repeat to me seems fitting: 'He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man.'" Jim looked at Spock who nodded.
"It seems to represent your feelings very well," Spock said in agreement.
"We've used it once before," Mr. Bachman said. "Good way to express what you're thinking."
"All right," Jim said with a nod. "Do we need to decide anything else?"
"Not at present," Mr. Bachman said. "I'll send the invoice over to Ms St. Peter to be handled. Take us 'bout 4 weeks to finish the stones. I know you won't still be around. I'll check with Ms St. Peter about puttin' them in the cemetery?"
"She'll have all the details," Jim agreed. "And I'll let you know about Winona's inscription tomorrow."
"That'll be fine," Mr. Bachman agreed. "Can't get a start on it until we get the stone from the quarry."
"Of course," Jim said with a nod. "I appreciate your help."
"Not at all, Captain. Thank you for contacting us."
Jim nodded again, and he and Spock returned to the rental and drove the short distance back to the hotel.
Once in their suite, Jim went to the window, looking out silently. He sensed Spock moving around the sitting room behind him but he was so wrapped in his own thoughts, he couldn't really be bothered to consider what it was Spock was doing.
Maybe thinking wasn't such a good idea. It just managed to make him angry all over again. Angry at his mother for not caring. At his father for dying. At his brother for disappearing. At the universe for the way his life had turned out.
He slowly turned from the window to find Spock sitting at the computer, studying whatever it was on the screen. He sat with his back ramrod straight, his head tilted ever-so-slightly to the right, his left ear in perfect profile against his black hair. Watching Spock filled Jim with love, gratitude washing out the anger. Spock loved him and he loved Spock. That truth made up for a whole lot of wrongness the universe had visited on him.
When he stood directly behind Spock, he wrapped his arms around him and whispered into one perfect ear. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing of any importance," Spock assured him, his hands on Jim's arms in confirmation and warmth.
"So if I suggested we take a nap, you would be willing?" Jim asked, kissing Spock's exposed neck and licking up the point of his ear.
"More than willing," Spock whispered breathlessly.
Jim unwrapped his arms and held one hand out to Spock who gladly took it in his. The touch transmitted to Jim Spock's love and warmth and no small amount of desire, which made Jim unreasonably happy.
"Is it wrong for me to be so happy?" he asked Spock as they entered the bedroom.
"It is not. You have had more unhappiness in your young life than most people will ever experience," Spock said.
"I don't feel so young," Jim admitted, kissing Spock before he could respond.
"I understand that," Spock said when he could, when Jim's tongue was no longer taking up all of the space in his mouth.
They continued to kiss as they undressed each other, hands everywhere, gliding, touching, soothing. When they were both gloriously bare, they went as one to their bed, laying down face to face so that they could continue their caresses and their kisses, hot and needy, slow and languid.
"I wish for you to enter me," Spock whispered against Jim's mouth before closing the distance once more.
"You sure?"
"I am. I know that the first time will be…uncomfortable. I am not concerned."
Jim nodded at that, kissing him again and stroking the inside his mouth with his tongue, tasting all of the flavors that were Spock.
"When was your first time?" Spock asked.
"I was 15," Jim said, feeling Spock's tiny shock at that. "I had been arrested for… uhm… I don't remember. I was in county lock-up for eight weeks."
"With adults?" Spock asked.
"Yeah. It was the fourth time I was arrested. The first three times I was sent to juvenile detention but kept running away," Jim said with a shrug. He lay on his back, remembering his first experience, not wanting to tell Spock but knowing he could not keep it a secret. "There was this older guy. At the time I thought he was in his 40s. But he probably wasn't much older than I am right now. He protected me from some of the worst thugs. And in trade, I…."
"You traded sexual favors for protection," Spock said calmly, rubbing ideally up and down Jim's stomach, not getting close to his semi-erect cock.
"I didn't have a lot of choice," Jim confirmed. "Once he claimed me, I was safe. It wasn't great when he forced me to have sex with him but it was better than having the living shit beat out of my every day."
"It was about survival," Spock said.
"Yeah. I wasn't sure I even wanted to survive but I was useful to him. He ran the black market and I kept track of his ledgers. Who owed him what. What he owed to his customers. He taught me a lot about surviving not just jail but life on the outside. He reminds me of Pike. Not that Pike would ever be arrested. But he took me on to raise, as they say."
"He did a remarkably good job," Spock said, kissing Jim. "I should not have asked."
"No. You need to know," Jim said him, enjoying his kisses. He was thoughtfully quiet for a moment, reflecting on how fate could twist and turn. "Ambassador Spock told me that first-Jim was sent to Tarsus IV about the time I was arrested. He didn't tell me what had happened but it was apparently pretty terrible."
"He provided you no details?"
"No. I didn't ask. He wanted to know if I had been sent there. When I said no, he changed the subject. I had the feeling it was something they didn't even talk about very much." Jim looked up at Spock, shrugging lightly. "His past wasn't mine. And I'm not especially proud of my past but I'm not going to hide it from you. It made me who I am."
"And for that I am grateful," Spock said.
"You wouldn't have like me very much then," Jim said with a smile. "But then you didn't like me very much when you first met me."
"An error I have since corrected," Spock said with a kiss.
"But I didn't care that much for you either," Jim laughed. "You were way too rigid. And too distant."
"I was," Spock agreed. "Too Vulcan."
Jim shook his head at that. "No. That wasn't it. I think I was a little scared of you. Not physically even though you did try to kill me."
Spock shook his head at those words, kissing him. "Must you remind me? Now of all times?"
Jim laughed at him, reaching up to kiss him. "You didn't succeed. And I was my fault. I stopped being scared of you when you kissed Uhura right before we beamed to the Narada."
"My kissing Nyota changed your mind?"
"Uh huh," Jim said, somewhat distracted by Spock's kisses on his jaw and ears. "You obviously cared enough about her to kiss her in front of me and Scotty. So you weren't a total hard ass after all."
"I am not," Spock agreed. "I can assure you that I have deep and abiding emotions for you. Love, admiration, desire among the most prominent."
"Is desire an emotion?" Jim laughed before Spock silenced him with a kiss.
"Do you have any other impertinent questions you think it appropriate to ask?" Spock teased, kissing Jim in such a manner that there was no way he could possibly respond coherently. Not unless 'oh… uhmm….yeeeaaaahhhh….' was considered an answer.
Spock kissed and nibbled his way down Jim's writhing body, feeling the pleasure echoing through their barely formed bond. It magnified his own pleasure and he wanted to do everything possible to keep Jim incoherent.
"Ohhh…" Jim moaned, his hips lifting on their own. "I'm going to come soon if you don't stop."
"Mmm…" Spock answered, returning to Jim's mouth to kiss him soundly. "How should we do this?"
"Uhmm…" Jim looked up at him, his eyes unfocused. "Well…"
"Do you know what it is I am referring to?" Spock asked, kissing him again.
"Making love. Me entering you," Jim said with a hot and loving smile.
"Yes," Spock agreed, reaching over for the lubricant they had left in the drawer of the nightstand.
"You must want it badly if you are ending your sentences with a preposition," Jim teased. Spock chose to ignore him except for biting his collarbone, making Jim yip. "Okay. I'm sorry."
"Mmm…" Spock barely responded, using his hot, angular tongue to sooth the mark he had left on Jim's skin.
"The best way is with you on your hands and knees. Not the most elegant position, but for the first time it makes the mechanics simpler," Jim said, his right hand caressing Spock's erection in such a way that Spock was likely to agree to almost anything Jim suggested.
Spock nodded against Jim's skin, licking and kissing him. "That seems…"
"Logical?" Jim asked with a laugh.
"Appropriate," Spock corrected, silencing him with a long, lingering kiss which left Jim breathless and only barely coherent. "Are you always so impudent when making love?"
"No," Jim laughed. "Just with you."
"How fortunate for me," Spock said in a rare display of his sarcastic side, one which Jim knew full well existed but was almost always hidden away as carefully as his emotions. Did sarcasm count as an emotion? He'd have to ask Spock... "Come back to me, t'hy'la," Spock whispered into one round ear.
"I'm sorry," Jim said before kissing Spock to make up for any possible hurt feelings his momentary drift might have caused, not that he thought that it was a real concern from the look on Spock's face and the dilation of Spock's pupils. He was on the edge and it wasn't the edge of anger. "Is that way okay?"
"Yes," Spock agreed, kissing Jim once more before going up on his hands and knees. If his desire for Jim hadn't already set his blood ablaze, he might have agreed with Jim's assessment that this was not the most seemly stance to assume. But it hardly mattered to him, even less so when Jim crawled in place and put both hands on his back.
"I'm going to touch you," Jim whispered, kissing his ass lightly. "Let me know if I need to stop or slow down."
"Yes," Spock whispered back, looking over his shoulder to see Jim's face. Jim smiled at him before turning his focus to kissing Spock, his hands stroking Spock's back, loosening the tension that he found under his palms.
"Relax, love. I'm not going to hurt you," Jim coaxed, kissing him again. "Take a deep breath." Spock complied, looking down his body when Jim wrapped a hand around his very hard erection. "Relax," Jim repeated, stroking his back and his erection in the same rhythm. He removed his left hand from Spock's back to pick up the lubricant, dribbling it on the crease of Spock's ass. "I'm going to touch you, love. I won't do anything you don't want me to do. Can you let our bond flow between us so I'll know?"
Spock took another deep breath and closed his eyes, visualizing the stream that had connected them previously. He allowed more water to fill its banks, finding the tributary that represented Jim's inner being. Jim stood on his bank, eyes shining in welcome and in love. //Hi,// he said in greeting, kissing the image of Spock that joined him on his side.
//Love,// Spock responded. //You need not worry so. I am ready.//
//I don't want to hurt you,// Jim said softly, looking into Spock's eyes that even here were the most beautiful he had ever seen. //But there's no way to avoid causing some pain.//
//I understand. I am not concerned,// Spock assured him, kissing him gently.
//Alright. Relax all of your body. Let the tension out of your neck,// Jim instructed quietly. His finger skimmed over Spock's tight opening, Spock reflectively jerking in reaction. Jim continued to lightly touch him, spreading the lubricant and preparing him for the next step. When he felt Spock's acceptance of that intimate contact, he rested the tip of his finger on the crinkled skin.
"I'm going to enter you, love," Jim whispered against Spock's skin. The bond pulsed with assurances that he was ready and Jim carefully eased in his finger, feeling Spock's body trying to repel it. //It's natural, love. Relax,// Jim instructed mentally, soothing the tensely expectant look on Spock's face.
//It is…odd,// Spock transmitted to him, closing his eyes to consider it. //Not entirely unpleasant.//
"Good," Jim said, pushing in further and past the tight ring of muscles. "I know, I know," he soothed when Spock moaned quietly. "Relax and let me in."
Spock took another deep breath, concentrating on the pleasure of Jim's hand still stroking his firm erection, not the almost-pain that Jim's careful finger was causing.
Jim eased his finger in and out of the tight channel, sliding his hand firmly up and down the firm cock. When Spock relaxed around Jim's finger, he eased in a second one, Spock moaning at the addition. //Am I hurting you?//
The vision of Spock shook his head, his eyes closed, his head back in pure, unbridled pleasure, his adam's apple bobbing in reaction to the stimulation.
"I know it's a little uncomfortable," Jim soothed, the two fingers widening and preparing Spock. "It gets easier."
"Uhmm…" Spock breathed, the Spock inside Jim's head tensing slightly.
//What is it?// Jim asked gently.
//Pressure. Fullness,// Spock said, his eyebrows furrowed.
//Too much?// Jim asked, caressing the side of Spock's face.
Spock hesitated a moment before shaking his head. //I want you.//
Jim nodded, kissing the hot taut skin of Spock's backside before placing a third finger into Spock's body. "Don't tense up around me, t'hy'la," Jim whispered.
Spock moaned again, reflectively moving toward the headboard and away from the invading fingers.
"Relax, love. You are doing great," Jim soothed, the three fingers still working to loosen Spock's body. "I know it feels strange. I also know it's enjoyable." As Jim said those words, he twisted his fingers enough to search out Spock's prostate, guessing correctly that a Vulcan's was located approximately the same place as a Human's. When Jim rubbed over Spock's gland, he inhaled sharply and banged his head on the headboard. If Jim hadn't been so aroused and so concerned, he'd have thought it was funny. Instead, all thoughts fled as Spock erupted into Jim's hand, his orgasm taking them both by surprise.
Jim collapsed with Spock, laying curled around his back, his hand stroking Spock's heaving chest and stomach as he tried to get enough air into this lungs. Jim kissed Spock's shoulder and ear as he waited for Spock to come back to him, Jim's erection nestled gently between Spock's mounds.
//Oh t'hy'la,// Spock whispered inside Jim's head.
//Did you hurt your head?// Jim asked with a smile.
//If I did, I did not notice. I did not anticipate the amount of pleasure I would find from the stimulation of my prostate.//
"You didn't know?" Jim asked softly into his ear.
"I did not. Vulcans are…were…are… extremely…reticent in discussing matters of intimacy," Spock admitted, looking over his shoulder at Jim. "Is it true for you as well?"
"Oh yeah."
Spock nodded at that, silently thoughtful for a moment. "I enjoyed having your fingers inside my body."
"Even though it hurt you?"
"Not in such a way that I minded. May we try again?" he asked, turning over in Jim's arms to study him, hungry and love reflected in equal measures in the infinite black depths of his eyes.
"Well," Jim said, reaching down between Spock's legs to find him still erect. Or erect again. "Do you always recover so quickly?"
Spock looked down their bodies at his hard cock, considering the question. "I do not know."
"You don't?" Jim laughed. "Could you and Uhura go more than once at the same time?"
"No," Spock said, looking back at Jim's laughing blue eyes. "She is beautiful but does not fill me with the same wanton desire as do you."
"I see," Jim said with a smile.
"And what of you?" Spock asked, lightly grasping Jim's weeping cock.
Jim shrugged, kissing Spock's mouth. "If I enter you, that's all it will take."
"I would like to attempt penetration," Spock said.
"I'm all for it. I just don't want to hurt you," Jim said in complete honesty.
"I understand. And I do appreciate your concern. I trust you comprehend my intense need of you."
Jim laughed and kissed him again. "Next lesson will be on pillow talk."
"You do not find my vocabulary appropriate?" Spock teased.
"Always. Except in bed," Jim said.
Spock nodded at that, going back up on his hands and knees in invitation, one Jim readily accepted. He retrieved the lubricant, putting it on the palm of his right hand before grasping Spock's erection which was even firmer than it had been before. Jim also added the lube to Spock's backside, making sure his fingers were completely coated.
"Are you ready for me to enter you again?" Jim asked, kissing his bottom and sucking a mark into the skin.
"Yes," Spock whispered, relaxing all of his muscles and letting his head hang loosely from his shoulders. That afforded him a perfect view of Jim's hand gliding up and down his phallus, the greener tip appearing and disappearing as Jim moved.
Jim inserted one finger, Spock having no obvious reaction to that much penetration. Before adding to it, Jim sought out his mental image of Spock, finding him easily. //You're doing just fine.//
//Thank you,// Spock said, kissing Jim's slightly parted lips. //You should not yet have such a command of our bond.//
//Oh. Well.// Jim looked around them, seeing the landscape in clearer detail. It looked like a forest, tall trees offering shelter and welcome. //Is this my vision or yours?//
//It is ours,// Spock told him. //It is what you know and what I desire.//
//Not a desert?// Jim asked, admiring the beauty of their shared bond.
//That is what I know. This is what I choose,// Spock explained, gasping when Jim inserted a second and third finger simultaneously. //Mmm….// Spock moaned, a sound of pain and pleasure. //Enter me.//
//It's going to hurt,// Jim warned gently.
//I understand. I want to feel you inside of me. To know you,// Spock requested, certainty on his face.
Jim's image nodded, fading slightly as he eased his fingers out of Spock's body to pour the lubrication on his erection, certain to coat it completely. He added more slickness to Spock's rectum, raising up on his knees. "Here I come," he said gently.
"Please," Spock requested, backing toward him.
"Relax. I want to be inside your beautiful body. I want to know you, to join with you," Jim said soothingly, leaning closer so that his erection made contact with Spock's warm body. Slowly and carefully, he guided the tip of his hard cock into the edge of Spock's opening, Spock gasping. "Relax, love. Feel me. Let me feel you," Jim said, speaking quietly and calmly as he continued to enter Spock.
"Ohh…" Spock moaned, the pain of being stretched and penetrated echoing in Jim's mind.
"Alright, love, it's alright," Jim said, holding still. "Breathe. I know it hurts but it also feels good. Concentrate on the pleasure. Think of the love it represents." Jim kept up his monologue in the same hushed tones, waiting as Spock's slowly released the tension he was holding in his muscles. Jim eased forward a little more, Spock moaning again, Jim talking him through it. Finally, Jim was sheathed completely in Spock's hot body, Spock's pain more apparent than the pleasure. But he did not seem particularly anxious for Jim to withdraw. Jim eased back before fully reinserting his erection, establishing a slow and easy rhythm.
"Jim," Spock said in a strained voice. "It's too… much."
"Alright," Jim responded, holding still. "Do I need to withdraw?"
"Yes," Spock said in disappointment but in truth he could no longer sense the pleasure, only the pain was present. "The pain is…."
"I understand," Jim assured him, very gradually easing out until he cleared Spock's body. Spock collapsed on the bed, his face buried in one of the pillows. Jim lay over him, kissing his neck and shoulders. "I'm sorry I hurt you."
"You did not do so on purpose," Spock said softly. "I didn't expect it to be quite so… painful."
"I know," Jim said, running his fingers through Spock's silky black hair and enjoying the chance to cause it to be in disarray. "It's more intense than most people think."
"I also enjoyed it," Spock said, turning his head to look at Jim.
"That's really important," Jim said, shifting off of Spock's body and reaching down for his own erection that was still rock hard and ready.
"May I?" Spock asked, rolling on his side and grasping Jim's firm cock.
"Are you feeling up to it?" Jim asked, studying Spock's face, seeing traces of pain and anxiety.
Spock nodded, removing Jim's hands and replacing them with his own. With great skill and efficiency, Spock brought Jim to a hard, intense orgasm that rocked him and jolted his very being.
"Oh wow," Jim whispered, laying on his back, completely spent.
"Indeed," Spock agreed, kissing his panting mouth.
"How about you?" Jim asked, prying open one eye to try and focus on Spock.
Spock shrugged one shoulder, kissing Jim again.
"You come?"
"I did not. I theorize that the pain negated my erection."
"More sexy talk," Jim teased, reaching up to kiss him, his arms and legs stretching in pleasure. "I'm hungry."
Spock nodded at that, backing up slightly to look down at the wet spots on the bed. "It is fortunate we have a second bedroom."
"It sure is. Otherwise you would have to sleep of the wet spots."
"Why would that be my destiny?" Spock asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Because I outrank you," Jim said innocently.
"I see," Spock said, causing both of Jim's eyebrows to go up in silent rebuke. "I see, sir."
Jim nodded in approval, his bright smile spoiling the almost-seriousness of his expression. "Are you hungry?"
"Yes sir, I am," Spock agreed, kissing his Captain's mouth.
"Good. Let's order room service," Jim said, sitting up and crossing is legs in front of him. He reached over for the menu, holding it so that Spock could also read it. "See something that looks good to you?"
Spock raised one eyebrow and looked Jim's beautifully naked body up and down.
"I meant on the menu," Jim clarified with a laugh.
TBC just as soon as real life gives me time!