Just Another Afternoon in Mutant Paradise
"Well that went better than expected," Scott brushed some mud off of his uniform. The majority of X-Men and Misfits had returned to the large tent on the grounds of the Institute. And all of them had some kind of dirt and mud on their clothes.
"If by better than expected you mean nobody shot actual bullets at us, than yeah it went better than expected," Rogue grumbled as she brushed dirt off her face.
"At least they didn't throw tomatoes at us," Kitty said weakly.
"That's because they didn't have any," Emma disdainfully looked at the mud on her uniform. "But if they did they would have thrown them as well."
"I knew they wouldn't be happy about the werewolves and vampires moving in," Rogue grumbled. "Then again I can't say I blame them."
"Still as riots go that was pretty mild," Logan admitted as he looked at his mud stained uniform. "They stopped almost as soon as they started."
"I think it was because the crowd was in shock at the news that the werewolves who persecuted them are coming to live here along with the vampires and other were creatures," Ororo sighed.
"Yeah once the news sinks in they are really gonna get mad," Todd agreed.
"I'm amazed Rocker was able to talk some sense into the crowd at all," Kitty said.
"I think the fact he mentioned that the wolves were gonna pay us all money had something to do with it," Rogue gave her a look.
"Yeah they may hate the wolves but they sure like money," Remy agreed.
"He also had some of his people spread some rumors that SHIELD and the government were forcing the werewolves and vampires on Bayville," Scott said. "So people would know it wasn't our fault."
"It's not a rumor if it's true. That reminds me, how did you get SHIELD to forget about Tetsukaeru and Aqua Seraphim?" Jean realized. "They started to question me about them in the beginning then said it didn't really matter."
"It was no problem," Althea waved. "Just gave 'em the old Cosmic Powers returning to the far corners of the Universe excuse."
"And that worked?" Scott asked.
"You'd be surprised how often that works," Logan admitted.
"Yeah I don't think those two are going to show up in the near future," Todd rolled his eyes. "I hope."
"So do I," Jean agreed.
Logan took a sniff in the air. "Speaking of showing up…You'll never guess who's here!"
"Oh please say it's Mindy Mohan or some other celebrity," Kitty moaned.
"Well technically he is a celebrity…Among the vampire hunting crowd," Logan sighed as he went out of the tent.
"Vampire hunting...Oh no..." Ororo moaned. "Please let it not be who I think it is."
When the others went out they saw Rocker dodging an attack from a familiar sword wielding Day Walker. "You shall pay for your crimes traitor!" Blade snarled.
"Get out of my face you freaking maniac!" Rocker snarled as he dodged Blade's attack.
"It is..." Ororo groaned. "Well at least it's not Dracula. Or his annoying wife."
"Never a dull moment around here is there?" Rogue groaned.
"Blade? What the hell does that bitch want?" Pietro folded his arms.
"Quickie you know its comments like that that make people think you're gay right?" Todd groaned.
"People are so narrow minded. I'm fashionable, witty and urbane," Pietro huffed.
"You are a lot of things," Rogue remarked. "Just grab Blade's sword and Wolverine and I will get him."
"Prepare to die you…" Blade snarled as he swung his sword at Rocker who had fallen on the ground.
"Not ready to go yet!" Rocker did a quick roundhouse kick that knocked Blade off his feet.
"I'll take that!" Pietro zoomed behind Blade and disarmed him. "Silly Blade, don't you know that running around with sharp objects isn't a good idea! Somebody could get hurt!"
"I think that was the idea, Quicksilver," Rogue said as she and Logan grabbed onto Blade.
"Let go of me!" Blade struggled to get free.
"Now calm down Sugar and let's talk about this," Rogue held on with her super strength. That and Logan holding onto him too helped.
"I know you're not Mr. Sociable but just for the hell of it would you mind explaining why you want to kill off our mayor?" Logan growled. "Besides the obvious reasons?"
"Great! What did I do now?" Rocker dusted himself off as he got up. "Whose friend of yours did I kill?"
"It is the lives of everyone you endanger! You are a threat to every living person because of your treaty with the vampires!" Blade snarled.
"Well this is a new one," Rocker grumbled.
"Hold on, you were trying to kill Rocker because of the vampires that are moving into this town?" Rogue blinked. "And how did you know about that anyway?"
"I was following that vampire and her associates," Blade spat out the words. "And I overheard your little speech capitulating to those creatures!"
"How the hell did you overhear that?" Pietro snapped.
"He probably has one of those electronic listening devices in his van," Fred shrugged. "You know like the CIA has?"
Everyone looked at Fred. "What? I pay attention to stuff like that!" Fred pouted. "If you've seen any police shows nowadays…"
"The fat one is right," Blade admitted. "That is how I found out about your unholy alliance!"
"You do realize that I didn't have a choice in the matter do you?" Rocker asked Blade. "SHIELD forced me to make an alliance with them because of their alliance with the werewolves! What was I supposed to do?"
"You can't make an alliance of any kind with vampires!" Blade snarled.
"I just told you I didn't have a choice!" Rocker snapped.
"He's right," Scott said. "If you really listened in you know that we protested this whole thing from the beginning. But since those vampires made a deal with the werewolves and the other Supernaturals and they made a deal with SHIELD…"
"That does not concern me!" Blade snarled.
"It kind of concerns us," Rogue said. "We couldn't say no without risking another war!"
"And since we barely survived the last one we're not exactly in a hurry to start another one," Bobby said.
"That doesn't matter! Better to die than to submit to vampire scum!" Blade snarled. "As far as I am concerned you are all guilty of collaborating with the enemies of the human race!"
"So you'd rather all the people in this town died or worse instead of finding a way of working together?" Bobby snapped. "You're sick man!"
"Oh great. Just what we need. A new kind of fanatic running around," Logan groaned. "Listen Blade for the record we don't trust those vamps as far as we can throw 'em on their undead behinds. But we need them."
"You need them?" Blade snarled. "They are monsters!"
"Dude, you know this town is practically Monsterville right?" Pietro gave him a look. "Between the mutants and the Weres and the Cat People, vampires are just going to be another minority."
"They are prepared to help rebuild the town and bring jobs here," Rocker said. "Particularly their synthetic blood making plant."
"And you believed them? You are fools!" Blade snarled.
"Actually I've been doing a little background checking. Surprisingly a lot of vampires prefer the synthetic blood because it's purer and less of a stigma," Emma explained. "So yes there are some vampires that are willing to forgo eating on the occasional tourist."
"They are demons!" Blade snapped. "And you want to let them build factories here?"
"Dude aren't you half vampire?" Bobby asked. Blade glared at him. "Just saying."
"Listen we're going to keep an eye on the vampires. If any of them cross the line we'll deal with it," Scott said. "You can hunt vampires all over the world if you want but this town is a vampire hunting free zone. Got it?"
"Never!" Blade hissed, showing his fangs. "So long as one vampire breathes I will hunt them down! That is my mission and I will never stop! And if you protect them I will…"
"I do not have the time or the patience to deal with this!" Emma let out a breath. "Do you mind?" She asked Scott.
"Knock yourself out," Scott waved.
"Or better yet knock him out," Pietro pointed to Blade.
"Gladly!" Emma made a motion with her hands. Blade stiffened and fell into a trance. After a moment, he passed out. "Wolverine if you don't mind taking out the trash? Preferably into the next town?"
"What'd you do to him?" Rogue asked.
"I gave him something to think about. Just a little taste of his worst nightmares," Emma waved. "Plus I gave him a subliminal command to stay away from Bayville in the future. Just in case."
"Something tells me that ain't gonna last forever," Logan grunted as he picked the day walker up.
"No, but by the time he gets over it hopefully the town will be more organized and we'll have a better defense system for dealing with unwelcome visitors," Emma explained.
"So we're gonna have to deal with a cranky day walker that has a serious grudge against vampires?" Pietro shrugged as he gave Logan Blade's sword. "What else is new?"
"I'm going back to my tent and try to get rid of this very large headache," Rocker grumbled. "For what it's worth thank you for getting rid of that jerk. At least for the moment."
"You'd better pass a warning along to Jan and the rest of the vampires," Scott said.
"Something tells me they were already familiar with our guest," Rocker grunted. "You know this is probably the real reason the vampires went along with the wolves, right? Vampires want a safe place to live an undead life and figured they could get us to do the job of protecting them."
"It is a very real possibility," Ororo frowned.
"Typical. Living humans use us as tools all the time! Why not dead ones?" Rocker threw up his hands as he stormed away.
"I'm off. On second thought any of you Misfits want to take a trip with me?" Logan thought. "I got a place for Blade to cool off."
"It's not Antarctica I hope," Remy groaned. "Because that has been done!"
"Not that cold," Logan said. "Just somewhere to keep him out of our hair for a bit."
"Where?" Scott gave him a look.
"Madripoor," Logan smirked. "There's a bar I know where there are a few renegade vampires that are rumored to have their own blood harvesting business. And it ain't synthetic blood."
"I'm up for a trip," Fred grinned. "Besides if he wakes up I can give you a hand."
"Fine with me. See you in a bit," Logan waved as he and Fred teleported away with Blade.
"Well that was fun," Rogue remarked. Just then the sound of a helicopter was heard. "Now what?"
"Oh goody. More people visiting us," Emma drawled as a large helicopter with the Avengers' logo landed nearby. "This town hasn't even been rebuilt yet and already we're a popular tourist attraction."
"The Avengers? What are they doing here?" Todd asked.
"Giving me another headache," Scott gritted his teeth.
"Oh that reminds me," Althea perked up. "Came across some very interesting information about one of 'em. Quicksilver get that file from my desk back in San Francisco."
"I know which one you mean. Be right back," Pietro teleported off using the Mass Device watches. He was back in an instant. "Here you go boss!"
"What is it?" Scott asked.
"Take a look," Althea opened the folder. Scott and a few others read it.
"What does it say?" Kitty asked as she looked at it. "No way!"
"Are you sure?" Scott whispered.
"Very. Xi don't make mistakes," Althea told him. "Plus Rocker's source just turned in this very interesting piece of intelligence." She pointed to another paper in the file.
"This is interesting," Scott frowned.
"Quicksilver, I need you to make some copies of this ASAP," Althea told him as she took the papers back from Scott and handed them to Pietro. "And come back right away."
"Got it!" Pietro zoomed off.
"Okay let's play it cool until Pietro gets back," Althea said.
"The fun here just never ends does it?" Rogue grumbled.
"We should build an amusement park," Kitty quipped.
"Something tells me this visit from the Avengers won't amuse any of us," Emma spoke.
Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Ant Man and Wasp approached them. "What happened to you?" Wasp wrinkled her nose at the sight of the mutants covered in dirt.
"Maid's day off," Bobby quipped.
"Hello Avengers," Scott said. "I take it this isn't a social call Iron Man?"
"I'd be very surprised if it was," Jean remarked as they all returned inside the large tent with the Avengers.
"Hello Jean. It's good to see that you are yourself again," Iron Man said. "You weren't exactly your normal pleasant self during the uprising."
"Actually telling you off was one of the few things I enjoyed about my possession," Jean said confidently. "The one thing the Dark Phoenix and I agreed on."
"This again?" Iron Man sighed. "You guys are getting kind of hostile."
"Yes again!" Emma bristled. "And after all we have been through recently I think we have a right to be hostile."
"You're not exactly the only minority this country has, Ms. Frost," Captain America reminded her.
"No, but we are the only one that people send giant robots after!" Emma gave him a look.
"I'm not saying that the Sentinels weren't extreme but you have to look at things from other people's perspective," Iron Man said. "People are scared. They're still scared."
"So that justifies all the crap people throw at us?" Rogue snapped.
"Nobody said that," Ant Man said. "But you have to admit that a lot of mutants abuse their powers and something needed to be done to…"
"We abuse our powers? That's rich coming from the guy who made Ultron!" Pietro snapped as he returned with a small stack of papers.
"That was quick even for you," Bobby remarked.
"One of the tech mutants got a souped up copy machine in that office tent Rocker has," Pietro shrugged. "Anyway we were talking about our good friends the Avengers and how much damage they have done over the years. Besides Ant Man's inventions that have the tendency to want to wipe out the human race, there's Tony Stark."
"Me?" Iron Man blinked.
"Uh yeah. You," Pietro rolled his eyes.
"What did I do?" Iron Man startled.
"Besides having your company make and sell weapons of mass destruction all over the globe?" Pietro asked.
"My company doesn't do that anymore! It hasn't for a long time," Iron Man snapped.
"That's debatable," Rogue grumbled. "You did send some technology to the Mardies and Bayville."
"Non-lethal technology for restraining people with super powers," Iron Man told them. "The same equipment SHIELD and the military have."
"Which was used in the MRD holding cells," Scott said.
"Scott, I sold that technology to the government for the purpose of peacefully restraining dangerous criminals. Whether they were mutant or not was not the issue," Iron Man snapped.
"Not the issue? Come on Stark, how stupid do you think we are?" Scott snapped. "There was a war against mutants going on! You had to know that most of those 'peaceful restraints' were going to be used on mutants! And that more than half those mutants imprisoned were innocent civilians who never fought a day in their life! For once Quicksilver is right! You are a menace!"
"Actually I was referring to Iron Man's oh so charming clip on Me Tube," Pietro grinned. Iron Man started to turn red.
"Oh was it the one where he threw up over that supermodel and she punched him in the nose?" Todd asked cheerfully.
"No," Pietro shook his head.
"Or the one where he got really drunk at a state dinner then took off all his clothes and said he was going to open up a rib joint chain to bring peace to the world?" Remy asked with a smile.
"That was two years ago and I have been sober since then!" Iron Man snapped. "And it wasn't like I was the only one drunk that night so…"
"You were certainly sober the day you decided to enter that car race and ended up with a fight with that Whiplash character," Althea remarked. "That reminds me, have they rebuilt that stadium yet?"
"Actually I was referring to the clip where he was demonstrating his latest anti-aircraft defense system and it accidentally blew up a playground," Pietro smirked.
"First of all my systems were tampered with and that was proven!" Iron Man snapped. "Plus there were no kids in danger there!"
"Yeah lucky you held your demonstration on Spring Break," Remy remarked. "Of course we also have many pictures of you in New Orleans on Spring Break during your drinking days."
"Not to mention pictures and clips of Wasp getting into that catfight with that model on the runway two months ago," Rogue smirked.
"Hey she started it!" Wasp snapped. "That fat cow had it coming!"
"Not helping Wasp..." Captain America groaned.
"I also enjoyed that Me Tube clip of Hawkeye dancing around in his underwear…" Pietro went on.
"I swear I am going to kill Falcon for…" Hawkeye interrupted. "Is there a point to all this?"
"The point is you guys cause just as much damage as we do but for some reason you get a pass while us mutants are made outcasts!" Bobby snapped. "I mean we fight off aliens and bad guys too but when the dust settles people blame us for the damage. But they don't blame you when you do damage! What is up with that?"
"I've never seen anybody picket your home!" Kitty bristled. "There's never anyone outside your mansion shouting hate slogans."
"We help you all the time with saving the world but with the exceptions of M-Day and the Cobra Invasion you guys just stay on the sidelines when we're in trouble," Todd said. "Just once would it have killed you guys to help us out when we're fighting Sentinels?"
"You say you want to help all people but when it comes to mutants you mysteriously aren't available whenever trouble happens to us!" Kitty added.
"And then you wonder why some of us act like criminals!" Remy added.
"Excuse me but aren't you a member of the Thieves' Guild?" Hawkeye gave Remy a look.
"Oh like your past was so perfect?" Rogue snapped. "You were a thief and a mercenary once!"
"She's got a point there," Ant Man shrugged.
"A very sore point," Rogue growled.
"In case you haven't picked it up we are still a little miffed about what happened during the Mutant War," Scott told them. "You know what you guys did?"
"Or more accurately didn't do?" Jean gave them a look.
"Well what about Black Panther? He's one of us! Most of the time," Wasp shrugged.
"He's the exception. He opened his kingdom as a sanctuary for mutants and there are many mutants there living peacefully," Scott said. "He had a whole kingdom to run and he still did something. And it was a lot more than what the rest of you did."
"I understand you are all angry," Captain America sighed. "But you are taking what happened way too personally."
"Personally? The government tried to enslave and eradicate us," Emma said. "I do tend to take that personally."
"It wouldn't have come to that if you had just…" Iron Man began.
"Just what? Surrendered? Handed ourselves over like good little mutants?" Kitty interrupted. "That's bull and you know it!"
"There are still people in the government that want nothing more than to see us all dead," Emma growled. "You don't need telepathy to see that!"
"That's why we want to help you," Captain America said.
"Oh now you want to help? A little late for that don't you think?" Kitty snapped.
"You know it's not like we were just sitting in our mansion doing nothing while the entire uprising went on," Iron Man frowned. "We had our hands full with a few alien invasions, a secret terrorist plot threatening the White House, taking down Hydra goons, going after AIM Scientists…"
"Some of which were either experimenting on mutants or mutants themselves," Hawkeye added. "There was also an attack by your new buddy Doctor Doom we needed to put down."
"Don't forget that weekend Thor's brother Loki showed up," Wasp added. "That was a mess."
"Not to mention the mess a couple of mutant thugs went on crime rampages in a few cities we had to deal with," Ant Man added.
"And we were there when Cobra made its assault on the world," Iron Man added. "Remember?"
"Oh we remember. You only got involved when the entire world was threatened," Emma said. "And as for those few low level mutant thugs you dealt with, maybe if we weren't fighting for our lives in a war we would have handled them?"
"The fact that you refuse to call the Mutant War for what it was is a bit insulting," Jean said bitterly. "You keep saying uprising like it was our fault!"
"Why won't you say war?" Kitty folded her arms. "Just curious."
"Because it wasn't a real war until the end," Ant Man spoke.
"Oh really? Then you can tell all those dead mutants out there that there's no need for them to lie in the ground because they didn't really die in a war!" Kitty snapped.
"You guys were getting out of control," Wasp snapped. "Hell you were withholding information even SHIELD didn't have!"
"With good reason," Emma glared at her.
"And what about Phoenix over there?" Wasp went on pointing to Jean. "You know she was out of control…"
"I was possessed by a cosmic force and you know it!" Jean snapped. "You ever been possessed by a cosmic force? It's not exactly easy to deal with you know? It's not like a headache where you can take two aspirin and it will go away!"
"And you still have it inside of you," Hawkeye said.
"It's under control now," Jean glared. "SHIELD did a ton of tests that proved that! Besides you guys have had one or two instances where someone else was controlling either your powers or your technology! I mean Iron Man's armor has been taken over at least three times and no one gives him any grief about how much damage it caused!"
"And didn't the Enchantress once do some mojo on you guys to make you fight each other once?" Todd pointed. "Right in the middle of Central Park?"
"The point is that having your powers under someone else's control can happen to anyone regardless of species," Emma spoke up. "And yet for some reason people don't care as much when you go out of control."
"That's because we're humans and humans aren't the insane maniacs you guys are!" Hawkeye snapped.
"Hawkeye!" Wasp shouted.
"Racist! I knew it yo!" Todd pointed.
"Oh yeah like normal humans are all so perfect!" Pietro snapped.
"Way to go Hawkeye," Iron Man gave his team mate a glare.
"I didn't mean it like that!" Hawkeye snapped. "I'm just saying per capita you mutants have more crazies than your share! And at least half of your population has gotten out of control at one point or another including all of you!"
"You really want to know how much self-control I am exhibiting right now?" Jean snarled. "And how much I could let go if I wanted to?"
"It couldn't be any worse than when you went crazy and took over Avalon," Wasp grumbled.
"THAT'S IT!" Jean snapped. "I'm going to use my powers to throw her into the middle of the ocean!"
"Jean you can't do that," Emma said snidely. "That would be polluting the oceans."
"Yeah, Jean you can't just throw trash anywhere you want," Kitty sneered.
"You want to throw down right now?" Wasp made some fists.
"Bring it on Bug Girl!" Kitty growled.
"You better watch it! I will so zap your ass!" Wasp snarled.
"Oh I'm so scared!" Kitty mocked. "Seriously. I've fought everything from giant robots to aliens to zombie ninjas! You really think I'm going to have any problem with a human insect?"
"Yeah we could just let Toad eat her," Bobby mocked. "He'd take her out in no time."
"Please. I may eat flies but even I don't eat garbage," Todd sniffed.
"Oh I am going to take you out with the garbage you…" Wasp snarled and prepared to shrink and fight.
"Enough! There's no point in arguing over this," Captain America shouted. "We came to talk. Not fight."
"And what is it you need to talk about?" Scott said in an annoyed tone. "And why couldn't you make this call over a phone?"
"Well for starters we're trying to save Vision," Iron Man said.
"Back to this again?" Scott snapped. "Seriously, didn't we already go over this?"
"Look the Sentinels are a menace. I get that. But that's no reason to destroy Vision too!" Ant Man protested.
"I can't jeopardize the future of not only mutant kind but the world based on your friendship with one robot!" Scott said.
"I told you this was a waste of time," Hawkeye grumbled.
"Captain, if our situations were reversed, what would you do?" Scott asked Captain America. "For example let's say they wanted to lock up one of our X-Men for what he did during the war. Would you compromise your security for one of our people? Would you help us break him out of SHIELD custody?"
"Well I…It depends on the circumstances," Captain America coughed.
"I didn't think so," Scott said.
"I didn't say that!" Captain America protested.
"You didn't have to! The fact you stalled tells us enough!" Rogue rolled her eyes.
"Seriously. Let's say there was a mutant on your team. Would you bend the law and not report him or her or would you follow the law to register this mutant?" Scott asked. "What about you Iron Man? What would you do?"
"I would…encourage this mutant to obey the law," Iron Man admitted.
"Then I don't see why we need to continue discussing this," Scott said firmly.
"Okay you're all angry. I get it," Iron Man sighed. "Maybe we should have done more to…"
"MAYBE?" Rogue snapped. "Maybe done more?"
"That's like saying maybe Italian cruise ship captains should take extra classes on ship safety regulations!" Todd snapped.
"Or maybe Charlie Sheen should have cut down on the drinking and cocaine and kept his mouth shut before he got fired from his six million dollar an episode paying job?" Kurt snapped.
"Or maybe the banking regulations shouldn't have been thrown out so that corporations would spend recklessly and plunge our economy into the worst recession ever?" Bobby added.
"Or maybe the Wasp could wear a bra sometime?" Pietro said. "Seriously girlfriend those things are bouncing around all over the place. Not that I don't mind the view but they can get a little distracting."
"You're complaining about my uniform? What about the White Hooker Queen over there?" The Wasp pointed to Emma.
"That's because unlike you I have the figure for it," Emma smirked.
"Why you…?" Wasp growled.
"Janet not now," Ant Man warned.
"Yeah not now because you know we're right!" Kitty snapped. "Because honestly there is nothing you guys can say to make us change our minds."
Iron Man gave the mutants a look. "You want to make backroom deals? How about this? Remember all that money I promised to help rebuild Bayville? Technically I never signed any formal agreement. So…"
"Go ahead and back out of our deal," Emma interrupted. "We don't need your money or your resources."
"You don't? Since when?" Hawkeye asked.
"Since a few hours ago when we formally made an alliance with the Werewolves, the Vampires and countless other were creatures," Emma smirked.
"What kind of alliance?" Captain America asked.
"Well the wolves have agreed to pay restitution to many mutants who were victims of the war, wrongfully imprisoned and such," Emma said casually. "Well as many projects around town in order to help rebuild it. Since many of the wolves are going to relocate to Bayville they want to live in a nice place too."
"Not to mention the vampires and other Weres have also agreed to contribute to the town's restoration," Jean said.
"Yeah the vamps are going to build one of their new synthetic blood processing plants and bring jobs to our economy," Bobby smirked.
"What? Wait! When did this happen?" Iron Man was stunned along with the rest of the Avengers.
"Just as I said a few hours ago. Our mutual friend Nick Fury arranged it," Emma said.
"He did what?" Iron Man yelled.
"Is there a problem?" Scott asked in a mildly mocking tone. "What's wrong Stark? You look like somebody stabbed you in the back."
"Yeah and I have a feeling that guy's name is Nick Fury," Todd chuckled.
"I'm going to take a wild guess and say that Fury offered you some kind of deal with Vision but it involved having the robot under SHIELD's control," Althea spoke up. "Am I right?"
"Got it in one," Hawkeye frowned. "Why that lousy…"
"Come on Hawkeye you were with SHIELD too," Remy said. "You know what a bastard Fury is. Of course he was going to have a couple of back up plans to make sure he got what he wanted."
"Wait a minute…It's not just Vision that will be affected by this law!" Wasp said. "What about Victor Manchea of the Runaways?"
"The kid is half organic, meaning half human which is exempt from the Amendment," Scott said.
"Yeah but that other half came from Ultron," Hawkeye pointed out.
"A kid can't help who his Dad is," Althea said. "Trust me. I know from experience."
"Ditto," Wanda folded her arms.
"Testify," Pietro agreed.
"If you could change your parents trust me I'd be the first in line," Rogue agreed.
"Second," Remy held up his hand for a moment.
"Besides the Runaways are officially joining the Misfits as one of our outreach branches," Althea waved. "So this is all a moot point anyway."
"You're letting children become soldiers?" Wasp was shocked. "You can't do that! What's wrong with you?"
"Oh so you're concerned about the mutant girl that's also part of the Runaways as well? That's nice," Althea said sarcastically.
"You don't like kids doing any fighting then where the hell were you people when we started?" Kitty asked. "Seriously, I've been doing this stuff since I was fifteen. Nobody but my parents ever worried about that part of my education!"
Captain America sighed. "I'm sorry. What happened to all of you was wrong."
"Saying sorry doesn't change anything," Scott said. "Why are you really here? It can't all be just to bargain for Vision's existence or to look down on us."
"Yeah all during the war you didn't give a damn what we did and now you're butting your noses into our business?" Kitty snorted.
"All right. Cards on the table time. You know tensions are still running high all over the world," Captain America sighed. "And it doesn't help that the higher ups know that Doctor Doom's son is now the new mayor of Bayville."
"Rocker and his dad don't exactly see eye to eye on a lot of things," Remy scoffed. "They're not what you call close."
"Believe me, if anyone did take out Doom for good he'd send them a thank you card," Emma agreed. "What does he have to do with this?"
"Even though the Sentinels were dangerous, they gave the public some security on how the government was handling mutants," Iron Man began.
"Until of course those giant robots started blowing them all up," Todd remarked. "And maybe some of them are thinking mutants aren't so bad compared to a Terminator rip off!"
"Quite frankly yes. But they're still not a hundred percent comfortable with the X-Men taking over," Captain America said. "A lot of people still see you as criminals. That's where we come in. Together we can help you with your work and take down those mutants that will cause trouble."
"So let me see if I get this straight," Scott held up his hand. "You are here, to watch us watch the mutants? Have I got that right?"
"And just out of curiosity who told you to come here and 'help' us?" Althea made quotation marks in the air.
"There have been suggestions my many officials that it might help your image if it was shown that the X-Men were cooperating with the Avengers…" Iron Man began.
"Cooperating? Or reporting to you?" Emma growled.
"Cooperating. Let's face it you guys have a lot on your plate and you need all the help you can get," Iron Man said. "It would be better if you cooperated with us."
"Here is what you are going to do," Scott stood toe to toe with Iron Man. "You're going to turn around and walk out of here. And you are never going to try and interfere with how the X-Men do business again."
"Cyclops…" Captain America began.
"No, you are not going to just waltz in here and give my team orders on how to do our jobs!" Scott interrupted angrily.
"And that goes double for the Misfits!" Althea snapped. "We asked for your help when the whole war started. And you turned your back on us! And now that the dust is settled you want to move in and 'help' us because a couple people in the government are jumpy and to somehow instigate yourselves for some power trip? Forget it!"
"This isn't a power trip! It's to make sure that mutants don't get out of control again!" Iron Man protested.
"Again? It was the government that started the war in the first place when they started hunting and attacking us!" Kitty snarled. "Did you not see any footage of the Sentinels stomping on the mutants in New York City and being rounded up like animals for no reason?"
"Trust is a two way street and quite frankly none of you have proven yourselves to be much of a friend to mutant kind lately," Scott said bitterly. "Thanks but no thanks. We can handle this ourselves."
"Don't call us, we'll call you," Remy added.
"That's not a smart move Cyclops," Iron Man said sternly.
"Well I'm not as smart as I look," Scott quipped. "No comments Quicksilver!"
"I'm letting that one pass," Pietro shrugged. "Besides that joke pretty much writes itself."
"Cyclops you don't want to go this way," Iron Man said.
"And what exactly are we going to do about it?" Scott said. "You don't have any legal authority over us. The Whithalf Solution Amendment clearly states that the X-Men and Misfits are in charge of mutant affairs. Even the damn government made an emergency session to pass the bill and the president signed it. There's nowhere in that document that says that the Avengers are part of this!"
"You're right. It doesn't. But the Avengers have a lot of pull, especially over the American people," Iron Man said. "I'm just saying it would be better to have our support than to not have it."
"Since when did you ever give us any support?" Remy snapped.
"Let me put this another way," Iron Man said. "A lot of people want to know what the Avengers think about your groups watching over mutants. The Avengers have been non-committal. So far."
"A press conference? You are threatening us with a press conference?" Emma laughed along with the other mutants.
"Oh goodness gracious me!" Rogue made a mock drawl of horror. "Whatever shall we do?"
"We've fought Apocalypse, Magneto, aliens and Sentinels but we're powerless against a microphone!" Todd swooned dramatically. "Oh save me from the bad men from the evening news!"
"Newsflash Stark. It's not exactly the first time people have spoken on TV on how insane and unstable we are," Scott said. "In fact go ahead with your little media show. You do that and I might hold a little press conference of my own."
"About what?" Captain America asked. "It can't be about the Illuminati. You'd have to reveal Xavier was a member too. So what can you possibly threaten us with?"
"How about the Avengers hiding a mutant within their ranks?" Scott said casually. "You know for a group of heroes that were supposed to be upholding the law, you had no problems breaking it."
"Mutant? What are you talking about? There are no mutants on the Avengers," Iron Man blinked.
"Oh yes there are. At least one," Scott gave Wasp a look. "Would you like to say something? You look like you want to say something Wasp."
"What? Wasp isn't a mutant!" Hawkeye protested. "That's crazy talk!"
"No it's not," Althea said. "You know our friend Xi? He can decipher genetic codes in people and tell if someone is a mutant or not. He figured out your team mate's little secret a while ago. Just didn't have time to tell anyone. You know what with the end of the world and all."
"That's ridiculous! Wasp got her powers in the same accident that gave Ant Man his!" Hawkeye snapped.
"Actually it gave Ant Man his powers but enhanced Wasp's own," Scott said as he waved the papers Althea handed him. "As detailed in Dr. Pym's private notes."
"Turns out she had a dormant X-Gene," Althea smirked. "Accident activated hers. It never occurred to any of you to wonder why she can fly and Ant Man can't when they were both exposed to the same mutagenic substance?"
"Those are my private files! How did you get those?" Ant Man snapped.
"Well you know how it is with a bunch of criminals like us," Pietro said brightly. "Sticky fingers and all."
"Is this true?" Iron Man looked at the Wasp.
"No, Janet's not…" Ant Man began.
"Yes it is," The Wasp sighed in a defeated voice. "It's okay Hank, you don't have to cover for me anymore."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Captain America was stunned.
"Didn't think I needed to," Wasp explained. "I figured being an Avenger was enough."
"Until the war started," Emma frowned.
"She wanted to come out but I wouldn't let her," Ant Man protested. "I told her she could do more good with the Avengers."
"I take it you made some kind of personal DNA scanning blockers?" Kitty asked.
"Yes, they're built into her costume," Ant Man said. "We didn't think the whole mutant thing wouldn't get as bad as it did. That maybe in time it would die down and then later Janet would come out and things would be better."
"But that still doesn't explain why you didn't say anything to us!" Iron Man asked. "Did you really think we would make you resign being an Avenger?"
"Tony if I told you or anyone else you'd be legally obligated to turn me in as a mutant," Wasp said. "I didn't want to do that to you!"
"Janet is a hero! She shouldn't have to register like some kind of criminal!" Ant Man snapped.
"But you had no problems with us registering did you? Even though we're heroes too!" Kitty was angry. She glanced at Emma. "Well most of us anyway." Emma just rolled her eyes at the comment.
"I wonder how the public would react when they hear the news that one of their favorite Avengers is really a mutant?" Jean folded her arms and glared at Wasp. "Which is really funny considering all those self-righteous speeches you guys made about mutants needing to register and how it might be better for everyone if the government knew where all the dangerous mutants were?"
"A lot of your fans may not take it too well," Rogue smirked. "You might want to get your lawyers ready. You're going to need them."
"Oh yes so many lawyers," Kitty drawled. "Not just lying to Congress and to the government about hiding a mutant, but there are all the other little things. A lot of those fashion houses you worked for as a model might want to sue you for misrepresentation."
"Misrepresentation?" Janet was stunned.
"You'd be surprised how many companies have written in a genetic screening clause in their contracts during the past few years," Jean smirked.
"Yeah and I happen to know for a fact that the company that actually makes your clothes has one of them," Pietro said. "Not to mention two of those designing houses you work with. It pays to keep up with the fashion industry sweetheart."
"They would feel so betrayed if you revealed yourself to be a mutant," Kitty said. "They'd want their money back. Quickly."
"And you'd be lucky if you get to design a burlap sack after this," Todd added.
"And we know that you still have quite a few friends left in high society from your days as a bored socialite," Emma said. "Friends who have made generous donations to your charities that you sponsor. Imagine what would happen if they discovered what you were? You think being rich and well-bred will protect you from the current stigma of being a mutant? Trust me darling. It doesn't!"
"Your friends would leave you before you could blink," Rogue said. "And your charities would drop you like that!" She snapped her fingers.
"Not to mention all your friends in the business world wouldn't be too happy about the cover up, Stark," Scott said. "You might get quite a bit of flack just by associating with her."
"People wouldn't blame us for Janet being on the team!" Captain America was stunned.
"Tell that to my family," Jean glared at him. "They're dead."
"Not to mention a lot of other family members that chose to stand by their kids," Althea said. "Why do you think we have a growing human population in Bayville? It's because of their family members are mutants and they won't turn their backs on them like the world has."
"Trust me Captain. There's big difference between tolerating mutants in speeches than actually having one on your team," Rogue said. "Your bosses are not going to be happy about it."
"Yeah you know, that government that you were so worried about its image being tarnished?" Scott asked. "Imagine what they would do to the Avengers if they found out? They would definitely try to either distance themselves or make an example out of you."
"Your boyfriend here might end up sharing a cell with a guy named Big Bubba for his part in covering up the fact you're a mutant," Todd pointed to Ant Man. "Okay a lot of people have already been pardoned for that during the war but you never know…"
"I know there's already a lot of people that are still kind of miffed that you created Ultron," Remy smirked. "Imagine what they would do if they found out that you willingly covered up the fact that your girlfriend was a mutant?"
"And then there's all the gossip magazines that would really have a field day turning your name into mud," Kitty counted off. "All your boyfriend's fellow scientists would give him the cold shoulder for not only associating with a mutant but shielding one from the authorities. Not to mention all the other Avengers would be questioned and their reputations tarnished."
"Except of course Namor and Black Panther but those guys are so obvious nobody is gonna care about them anyway," Todd added.
"There's something else I know it," Kitty thought. "It's just on the tip of my tongue. Anyway Janet you get the idea of how things can get rough for you and your friends."
"And a lot of your enemies would take advantage of the chaos to get at you," Scott added. "Particularly the ones in the government."
"Not to mention a lot of mutants may not be too thrilled with you," Remy said. "Hiding yourself from the law. Doing diddly squat when the Sentinels and MRD were running around."
"I can think of a few words they might say," Rogue said. "One of them rhymes with gator."
"Treason! Oh technically you could be arrested on treason charges!" Kitty said brightly. "I knew there was one I missed!"
"I couldn't come out! It wasn't safe!" Wasp blurted.
"Of course it wasn't safe. Giant robots and guys with guns ready to blow any mutant to pieces were running around! It's never completely safe to be a mutant! And how scared to do think we were?" Kitty shouted. "Or all the other mutants when the war started? Huh? They didn't have half the protection you did!"
"There were children being dragged away by the MRD as young as five!" Jean fumed. "How scared were they?"
"Fortunately for you Wasp thanks to the new provisions I don't have to reveal your status as a mutant to anyone, including your superiors," Scott said. "As long as you don't commit a crime or cause any serious trouble. We can keep your mutant identify safe. That's the beauty of the system you were trying to disrupt!"
"Still think we can't handle the job?" Althea asked. None of the Avengers protested.
"So this is how it is going to be. You go your way and we'll go ours!" Scott said sternly. "If there's a threat to the world fine! We'll all be one happy family and all that. But if you want to pick fights with Doctor Doom or the Kingpin that don't involve mutants or global domination, you go it alone!"
"And we'll take care of the 'mutant problem' alone!" Althea made quotation marks in the air. "As usual!"
"Don't forget Tony, we are expecting that nice big check as well as many technological advancements for our hospitals and our police forces as soon as possible," Emma smirked. "And if I were you, I would set up a small branch of Stark Industries right here in Bayville."
"Branch? How about a factory?" Remy smirked.
"Oh what a good idea Gambit," Emma said. "Now doesn't Stark Industries make personal computers now?"
"That's true," Althea nodded. "And last I heard you were looking for a location for Stark Industries new manufacturing plant. One that makes protective gear and bullet proof vests for police and firefighters."
"As well as a place for making special new police and fire trucks that run on electricity as well as gas and are more safe and bulletproof," Jean grinned. "Good news Stark, you just found your new plant locations."
"Cheer up Tony. You are getting in on the ground floor of a brand new technology boom town," Emma grinned. "You get good press and a tax write off, we get jobs for our new economy. The police and firemen everywhere get better equipment…Starting in Bayville of course. And more personal computers will come out that will very affordable to the public. Again first they go to our new schools in Bayville. It's a win-win situation."
"Well we mostly win," Pietro remarked. "You not so much but still you get something out of this…"
"Yeah you not getting egg on your faces," Todd added.
Iron Man let out a sigh. "Fine. You win. I'll send over the necessary paperwork in the morning and next week we'll hold a groundbreaking ceremony of some kind."
"I thought you'd see it our way," Emma grinned. "Isn't it nice that our two teams can work together?"
"When the hell did you guys get to be such boardroom sharks and blackmailing…?" Hawkeye gritted his teeth.
"When people in our own government made the same kind of backroom deals and used bribes and blackmail to enslave and eradicate mutant kind," Emma interrupted him. "We're very fast learners."
"Not to mention with Frost on our team we kind of have a leg up," Kitty added.
"Actually for once Shadowcat's supposed put downs are quite correct," Emma shrugged. "In my family we learned how to manipulate and lie before we could walk. My father not only wrote the book on manipulation he also managed to pen the screenplay of the movie."
"Your Dad made movies?" Todd blinked.
"Some of us are still learning…" Emma sighed. "And will be in class for a long, long time!"
"The point is we can handle ourselves just fine," Rogue said.
"And as far as I'm concerned, you are banned from Bayville," Scott snarled at Wasp. "I don't want to see you anywhere near this town ever again!"
"And that includes your crappy clothing line or any other crap you want to sell," Pietro spoke up. "None of your junk is going to be sold in the mall. Well once we rebuild the mall."
"Good point! Thank you Quicksilver!" Scott nodded. He glared at Wasp. "You wanted to stay apart from the rest of us. Congratulations. You just got your wish. Now get the hell out of our town. And if I ever see you back here again, I'll throw you in a cell so fast you'd think I developed teleportation powers."
"But before you go I am going to personally escort you to the cemetery," Kitty spoke out. Her voice was cold and harsh. "And I want you and your boyfriend to look at every single grave and read every single name of the mutants who died on M-Day! So you can remember what happened. And you will remember. You will remember even if I have to have Emma engrave every single name in your memories!"
"That doesn't sound like a bad idea," Emma smirked. "In fact maybe all you Avengers should take a look at the memorial and get some idea what our lives are like!"
"Uh Frost, I don't think they're gonna need to look at the memorial to do that," Todd gulped as he looked outside.
"What? What do you…?" Emma looked outside. "Oh that's just…perfect!"
Flying towards them was a swarm of huge mutated insects. "You were saying something about not needing our help?" Captain America gave Scott a look.
"Of course," Scott sighed as he saw the giant bug swarm. "Giant killer bugs. WHY NOT?"