Chapter 14: Admissions and Heartache

Draco,

I think we need to talk, today. I heard what happened with Hermione, and let me tell you, you're an idiot. You know you love her, I know you love her. Why can't she know you love her? You may think you're doing a good thing, but you're not.

I'll be over at 3pm to talk, and don't think about pretending you're out or anything. I know you, more than you think I do.

Lots of love,

Pansy

It was now three o'clock, and Draco was dreading seeing his ex-wife. From her note he knew she was pissed, and he was definitely. It had been bad enough when Weasley had come to see him yesterday, but he was a puppy compared to Pansy when she was angry.

Right on cue, there was a loud hammering on his front door. He wished he'd gone out, so he wouldn't have to endure this, but she would've found him eventually. This talk was inevitable, but it didn't mean he had to like it.

He stood up and slowly walked to the door, opening it to find a calm looking Pansy. He knew this was a front though, and once she was inside all hell would break loose.

"Hi Draco," she smiled sardonically, and he knew she was even angrier than her note had let on.

"Hi Pansy, come in," he smiled back, moving aside so she could get through the door.

"Don't mind if I do," she replied sharply, and he knew her façade was slipping.

Once she was inside, he closed the door slowly, hoping to postpone the onslaught of insults and hexes he was sure she was going to send him.

"Why don't you sit Draco, this is going to go be a long talk," she smiled in the sickly sweet way, and Draco didn't have to think twice before obeying. As soon as his butt touched the chair, Pansy started.

"What the hell were you thinking?! You absolute idiot! She loves you, and you love her. Don't try and lie to me Draco Abraxas Malfoy, I know you better than anyone. You've loved her since the war, but you wouldn't do anything because she was with Ron. Now she's not, and you're not with anyone, so what the hell is stopping you?" She paused for a moment, and he knew she wanted him to answer her.

"I don't know. I don't want her to get hurt, and I don't want her to hurt me," Draco sighed; he could never lie to Pansy, she'd know him since they were both toddlers and their parents had become friends.

"She's not going to hurt you, and you're not going to hurt her. Why are you stopping this? Can't you see the two of you are meant for each other?!" Pansy's voice wasn't quite as loud, but it still hurt Draco's ears to listen to her rant.

"Well I thought we were meant for each other, but you hurt me," Draco murmured to himself, not loud enough for Pansy to hear.

"What?!" Pansy shouted, annoyed that he was muttering under his breath. This was Draco's undoing though, and he stood up violently, causing Pansy to step back in fright.

"I said, I thought we were meant for each other, but you hurt me!" He was practically screaming, he was so annoyed.

"Draco, I'm sorry," Pansy said, her anger ebbing away as she realised his true reason for pushing Hermione away.

"Yeah, I know, you're sorry. That makes it alright, doesn't it? It makes it okay that my wife, who I loved, cheated on me with one of my friends, got pregnant by him and then left me. Oh yeah, it's perfectly alright!"

"No, it doesn't make it alright. But it also wasn't alright for you to take your love away, and ignore me. We weren't seeing each other Draco, you were working ungodly hours and when you were home we didn't speak anyway. We went from being best friends, to husband and wife, to strangers, and I couldn't take it anymore," Pansy said sadly.

"I know, but you never talked to me about it. You just fell into the arms of another man, without giving me a second thought." Tears were threatening to spill from Draco's eyes, he was finally saying everything he'd wanted to say to her for the last five months and it felt good.

"I tried to talk, but you didn't want to listen. You could see I wasn't happy, that I missed you and all I wanted was you to come back to me. But you didn't, and it just got worse and worse until finally I'd had enough. Ron was there for me when I needed someone, and things happened. I never meant to hurt you, but I couldn't stay in a loveless marriage any more."

Both of them were openly crying now, as secrets and hidden torment were laid out see. Each knew they'd done wrong, and they were finally admitting it to not only themselves but also to each other. It felt good to get it out, and it may be just what they needed to get their friendship back on track.

After a while, the tears stopped and they could speak again. Draco and Pansy had both sat on the couch, and were crying into each other likes friends would do.

"I am sorry Draco, but you can't let my mistakes stop you from being happy," Pansy said, drying her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket.

"I just can't risk getting hurt again," Draco sighed, mirroring Pansy's actions as he too dried his eyes.

"Draco, if you take yourself out of the race for fear of losing, there's no way on this Earth you're ever going to win. Do you really want to sit here in fifty years time, wondering why the hell you didn't go for it? You've wanted her for so long, don't let another ten years go by before you make your move. Because believe me, you'll lose out if you wait too long."

With that Pansy stood up, pulling Draco with her. She pulled him into a tight hug, which he returned after a brief moment of tensing up.

"Don't let her go, because you'll regret it," Pansy whispered, and Draco hugged her tighter.

"Thanks Pansy, I promise I won't."

"Good, and do it before the christening. I don't want two of my good friends being at odds with each other," Pansy smiled, releasing Draco from her grip.

She then grabbed her back, gave Draco a peck on the cheek and left. Draco just stood there, watching her leave as if they hadn't been screaming at each other half an hour ago. He sighed heavily and plonked down on the couch, wondering what the hell he was going to do about Hermione. He knew Pansy was right, he shouldn't let what happened with his marriage affect what happened with Hermione.

Taking a quill and a piece of parchment, Draco decided to write the letter he'd planned to write to Hermione. He hoped she would answer this time, because they really needed to talk things through. He quickly wrote the letter, attached it to his owl's leg and sent him off.

An hour later, Orion returned, carrying another letter. She replied, Draco thought excitedly, ruffling his feathers and giving him a treat before taking the letter from his beak. He turned the letter over, and his face dropped. She had replied, but she hadn't opened the letter. Instead she'd scrawled a note on the back, telling him to stop sending her letters, because she wasn't interested in anything he had to say.

Draco read the note again, before tearing the letter in half and throwing it in the bin. He'd just have to wait until the christening to talk to her, which gave him plenty of time to work on what he was going to say to get her back.