Letter 14: Hair There & Everywhere
By: Time Master
Dear Dian Wei,
Dont'cha wish your mustache was sexy like mine?
Signed, Yuan Shao
Dear Yuan Shao,
…The hell are you talking about?
Signed, Dian Wei
Dear Dian Wei,
If your mustache were anything as good looking as say…mines, then you would surely get the ladies!
Signed, Yuan Shao
Dear, Yuan Shao
I don't even have a mustache you noble bastard!
Signed, Dian Wei
Dear Dian Wei,
It's also a shame you don't have a flowing beard like me!
Signed, Guan Yu
Dear Dian Wei,
Or me! The heavens have blessed name with a wonderful coat of facial hair!
Signed, Zhang Jiao
Dear Annoying Guys,
The hell?! How'd you get involved in this conversation? Man this is stupid!
Signed, Dian Wei
Dear Dian Wei,
I feel you completely. Facial hair is overrated.
Signed, Sima Yi
Dear Sima Yi,
Good, bout damn time someone agrees with me that bald is beautiful.
Signed, Dian Wei
Dear Dian Wei,
Bald is beautiful? HA! That's a good one. What I meant was facial hair is boring, now chest hair is where its at! You should see the bushy goodness I have underneath my outfit! Muahaha!
Signed, Sima Yi
Dear Dian Wei,
I agree. The enemy cringes in fear before Pang De's massive chest hair.
Signed, Pang De
Dear Nasty-Ass Officers,
…That's it; I'm done talking to you queers. I'm going to go wax and buff my noggin, got a Mr. Clean commercial to appear in soon.
Signed, Dian Wei
Gimmie some of that hair…long beautiful hair…okay I'll stop singing…
Continue on to the next chapter!