"So, you know where your room is, Timmy." Tim mother said to him, "I'm sure there'll be enough room for Sasha too."

"I'm sure I'll fit, I don't require much room." Sasha beamed,

"Yeah," Tim agreed, picking up some bags, "that's one of the best things about living with her." It was true. Sasha didn't take up much space.

"Well, goodnight then." his mother bade them, "I'll see you both in the morning."

"Goodnight!" Sasha called, while Tim mumbled a 'night'.

They dumped their bags in what was apparently one of Tim's childhood rooms. It was tiny, and mainly taken up by other people's things.

"They used it for storage after I left home." Tim explained, rubbing his nose, "They could have at least given the place a dusting."

"Never mind." Sasha plonked herself down on the bed, patting the space by her, "Come here." And Tim obeyed.

"Um, Sash?"

"Hm?"

"What are we..." he glanced at the door and lowered his voice, "What are we gonna do about the sleeping arrangements?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, if you're not comfortable sharing a bed, I'll take the floor, that's not a problem..."

"What floor?" Sasha cocked an eyebrow, gesturing to the floor stacked with boxes and books. "We'll just share the bed. It's no big deal."

Tim's heart thudded. It certainly WAS a big deal to him. Ok, a few nights ago she had slept in his bed after he passed out on top of it but that was different. He dreaded the idea of waking up to her with morning wood...

"Anyway, why don't we have a little fun now?" Sasha winked at him. Tim was pretty sure he felt his heart stop. A little fun, she said?

"Why don't we..." her eyes looked darker than usual, "...have some fake sex and let you're family know we're serious?"

That would have been the perfect sentence for Tim, had it not contained the word 'fake' and he was a little dissappointed.

Oh well, he thought, would be fun to see the looks on everyone's faces tomorrow morning.

Sasha and Tim moved rhythmically up and down on the bed, occasionally emitting moans of pleasure. The floorboards were creaky, as was the bedframe, so noise was definately apparent.

"Oohh! I just remembered!" Sasha whispered, jumping up suddenly and rummaging through her bag.

"What? What? I'm on the edge of a fake orgasm here!" Tim hissed,

Sasha held up a pair of handcuffs with a cheeky smile on her face, "I got them just in case they needed to see how 'wild' we really were. Kinda like your badge of honor as it were."

Tim was baffled as she clinked the chain of the handcuffs, "'Badge of honor'?" he repeated, "You gonna handcuff me as swallow the key?"

"Better." she grinned, "You don't have a key for these, you just push a button and they release. But let's just say one wrist got 'stuck', eh?"

Tim grinned broadly, "You're really getting into this, aren't you?"

"What, and you aren't?" she shot back, giggling. Tim felt his chest lurch a little. He was, yes. Too much.

He let Sasha clamp one ring of the handcuffs round his wrist, finished up having fake sex and settled down for the night.

"Night, Sash." he murmered,

"Night. Tim?"

"Mmm?"

She turned over, "That was the best fake sex I ever had." she mumbled.

He smiled wryly, "Same here."

The next morning, Tim opened his eyes sluggishly and went to rub his face, promptly hitting himself with the other half of the handcuffs that were dangling down.

"Shit." he muttered, noticing the morning wood and hurried out of bed so he didn't disturb Sasha, who was still sleeping peacefully.

When he decided it was safe, he crept out of his room and made his way to the bathroom. He yawned loudly, rubbing his nose and hiting himself in the face again.

"Good morning, Timothy."

Tim stopped abruptly in his tracks, seeing his eldest stepbrother stood in front of him, wearing an expression of disgust. As he usually did when he had to directly communicate with Tim.

"Morning, Harrison Junior." Tim replied,

"I heard you had a late night last night."

"Did you now?" Tim kept his tone even, despite his heart threatening to thud out through his chest,

"In the future, I'd appreciate it if you kept your depraved late-night adventures a little more private in future. My fiancee and I didn't appreciate it keeping us up and some of us would prefer to keep our ears clean."

"Then maybe keep your fucking ears out of earshot." Tim snarled, taking out a cigarette and fumbling for a lighter,

"Mom would prefer it if you didn't use that language," Harrison Jr. wrinkled his long nose, "Nor that you smoke in the house."

"She's not your fucking mom." Tim leaned in close, threateningly, dropping all pretense of civilities, "I'm not a kid, and I'm going outside to smoke."

Harrison Jr. took a step back, "You might wanna watch your tongue, Timothy." he smirked, "Wouldn't want border control to come and take your girlfriend back to her pathetic little island, would we?"

"What's wrong, junior?" Tim cocked a sarcastic smile, "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous?" Harrison Junior repeated incredulously, "Why on Earth would I be jealous of YOU?"

Tim lit his cigarette and began to walk over to the bathroom, "Oh, I don't know," he sighed, "How about the fact that your fiancee looks more like your sister?" He turned, taking another drag, "And actually, Sash is here legally, and there ain't shit you can do about it."