Doppler Effect.

A Kim Possible fanfic.

By Zombie Boy.

"The bird of Hermes is my name-

Eating my wings to make me tame."

Inscription on the Vampire Alucard's coffin.

Chapter Fourteen.

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"Well, this is what I'd call an awkward situation." Drakken said, shutting the door to the lair behind him.

"You could certainly say that." Kim answered, glowering at the door(and what lay beyond it). 'So where do we go from here?"

Drakken shrugged and leaned against the railing on the walkway that they were standing on. "Well..." he said, starting to fish around in his pockets. "I was hoping that we could wait until our associates are- ahem -finished, then go our separate ways and forget that this ever happened."

Kim looked over at her cerulean- skinned antagonist and arched an eyebrow. "I'm okay with that." she said. "By the way, you looking for something?"

"Yeah, my cigarettes." Drakken responded as his search came up empty. "Which I just realized I left in my lab coat. Perfect."

Kim looked at him in surprise. "You smoke?" she asked. "You know that the tobacco companies-" she started but Drakken held up his hand.

"Don't." he said. "Spare me the Big Brother rhetoric." he added. "Don't recite what the government taught you about Big Tobacco and how any other point of view is a thought crime."

Kim blinked and gave Drakken an odd look. "Huh?" she asked.

Drakken gave her a questioning look. "George Orwell?" he asked, "1984? Those ring any bells?"

Kim shook her head. "Uh -uh." she answered. "I think he was pulled from out library because he was no longer relevant."

Drakken groaned and rubbed his temples. "Oh brother..." he said before looking back at her. "You should read his work, especially 1984 and Animal Farm."

Kim snapped her fingers. "That's it!" she said. "They pulled his books because of the farm one. They said promoted fascism."

Drakken looked at her for a second, then burst out laughing. "Promoting Fascism?" he said between guffaws. "It's a parable about the dangers of Fascism and Socialism in general. Your school district probably pulled because they were afraid students would read it and see the parallels between the book and the school districts policies."

Kim rolled her eyes at what she considered trite neocon rhetoric, which Drakken noticed and laughed at.

"Great." she said. "You're a wingnut." she added. "Why am I not surprised?"

Drakken response was to laugh at her. "Ah, the follies of youth." he said. "Tell you what, Kim. I dare you to prove me wrong. Read his books, and compare them to your schools policies."

Now it was Kim's turn to laugh. "Is this a joke?" she asked. "You are giving me homework?"

Drakken shook his head. "Nope." he replied. "I'm giving you a challenge. You're the girl who can do anything, so it should be quite possible for you to prove me wrong." he added, then arched an eyebrow at her. "Unless you're afraid you might deviate from groupthink and commit a thought crime..."

"You're on." Kim said. "I'll prove you wrong."

Drakken smirked and sat down on the walkway. "I'd love to see how you do it." he said.

A particularly loud shriek was audible through the door interrupted their conversation made them stop and look at said door for a few moments.

"huh." Drakken said. "I figured that she was a screamer, but not like that."

Kim shuddered at the mention of Shego. "Can we please not talk about what Shego is like in bed?" she asked. It's bad enough that she's dating Ron, ok? I don't want to know the gory details."

Drakken snorted and leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. "You think I liked hearing it?" he asked. "You aren't the one who hasn't gotten laid since 1989."

'Eeeewww!" Kim said. "I don't want to hear about your love life either!"

Drakken chuckled cynically and looked at her. "Don't worry." he said "There's nothing to tell." he added, then cocked his head to one side as if he was listening to something.

"Gee, thanks." Kim said, then she noticed what he was doing. "You hear something?" she asked.

"More like I'm not hearing anything." Drakken said, getting to his feet. Walking over to the door he put his ear to the door and listened for a second. "Yeah, I was right." he said. "I think they're done."

"Thank God." Kim said with a roll of her eyes.

Drakken snorted and opened the door. "Wait here." he said. "I'll have the buffoon out in a moment." he added before stepping through the door.

Ten minutes later, a flushed and disheveled looking Ron came out the door, followed by Shego who was adjusting her jumpsuit.

"H-Hi KP." Ron said sheepishly.

"Ron." Kim said evenly while glaring at Shego.

Seeing the look in Kim's eyes, Ron grimaced slightly and interposed himself between her and Shego.

"Ah, did you take care of Drakken?" Ron asked, hoping to avoid having Kim try to kill his girlfriend again.

Gritting her teeth, Kim nodded. "Yes." she said, figuring that a little white lie was better in this situation than the truth. "Though when I said handle Shego, I meant that you should stop her, not... not..."

"I believe the term you're looking for is 'fuck her'." Shego said as she draped her arms around Rons shoulders. "And he did handle me, Princess." she added. "He spanked me, then bent me over Doctor D's desk and gave me some of that hot money love."

Ron slapped hand over his face as Kim's pupils shrank to pinpoints.

"She...go..." she growled.

"Yes Princess?" Shego asked sweetly.

"I KILL YOU!" Kim shrieked as she lunged at her.

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Senor Senor Jr sat at his desk, staring at his computer screen. So far, he had most of the assets he thought he would need in his quest to return Shego to him. The mercenaries were under contract now, awaiting word from him to spring into action. He had transport arranged for them, and he had a rent -a -lair booked for use as a base when they conducted the operation.

He also had the operation roughly planned out: it'd be during when school was in session, and would be in two parts. The mercenaries would hit the school, nothing major, just come in, make lots of noise, and keep everyone scared. This would guarantee that Miss Possible, and most importantly, Ron Stoppable, would be right where they wanted them, plus it would keep them tied down.

The second part would take place away from the school. Where, Junior didn't know. Miss Eguchi, his mysterious partner in this endeavor, was still scouting locations. He really wasn't worried about that, for he still had to obtain the component that was of the utmost importance if the plan was to work.

The person whose name was on the card, Aviarius, had flatly refused him, saying that only he would take Shego's and Team Go's powers, and that then Go city would be his. Junior had rolled his eyes and hung up.

So, that avenue a dead end, he was trying another tack. Scrolling through the list of names and numbers, he found the one he was looking for and dialed it, noting yet again just how odd American phone numbers were.

As he listened to the phone ring, Junior turned in his chair to face the huge arched windows and their view of the Mediterranean. He took in the view, and briefly imagined what it was going to be like enjoying that view with Shego. Ah yes, it was going to be lovely...

With a click, the other end of the line picked up and jolted Junior from his mini -reverie.

"H-Hullo?" the voice of a very sleepy sounding young woman answered.

"Hello, Miss Brown." Junior began. "My name is Senor Senor Junior. I believe my father has you on retainer?"

There was a groan from the other end and muttering something about beauty sleep. "Yeah." Ms Brown answered. "He does. But I only take jobs from him, so, if you want something done, talk to him and-"

"Actually..." Junior interrupted. "I was hoping to put you on retainer as well." he added. "That is, if you would be interested..."

"That depends." Ms Brown said. "What kind of money we talking about here?"

The corner of Juniors mouth quirked up into a smile. "The same as what my father is paying you." he said. "Does that sound satisfactory?"

"Yes, yes it does." Ms Brown said, suddenly wide awake. "So, what do you want me to do?"

"I need you to steal something, obviously." Junior answered. "A bit of technology, or to be more specific, a bit of technology and the plans to it."

Ms Brown sucked in a breath with a hiss. "That's going to cost you." she said. "Those kind of jobs aren't easy."

"Miss Brown, do you really think that's going to be a problem?" Junior asked.

Ms Brown laughed. "How silly of me." she said. "Alright, send me the details via the usual way, and I'll get back you."

"Thank you." Junior said. "It will be a pleasure doing business with you, Miss Misty Brown."

"Thank, Mr. Senor." Misty said before she hung up.

Setting the handset back down on the receiver and leaned back in his chair for a moment to collect his thoughts. Then he leaned forwards and began to compose an e-mail.

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"Ow."

"Sorry Ron."

"It's okay KP." Ron said, looking in Kim's hand mirror at the nice, big, black eye he had gotten from her when she had lunged at Shego. "I forgive you, okay? Now quit apologizing."

"Okay." Kim said, and sat back in her seat, still feeling a little guilty. "You want Mom to take a look at it when we get home?" she asked.

Ron gingerly shook his head. "Nah." he said. "I'll just MMP it and it'll be good as new."

"That is really handy, you know that?" Kim asked, getting a nod from Ron.

"You have no idea." he said."Especially the healing abilities- by the way, you got anything that needs healing?"

Kim shook her head. "Only my pride." she said. "Though I swear, your girlfriend only has two modes: Have sex, or fight."

Ron laughed to himself. "Not really." he said. "She's also a great cook, likes to play video games, and is a wine connoisseur."

"Huh." Kim said. "I did not know that about her." she added.

"It surprised me when I found out." Ron said.

"Did you know that Drakken reads George Orwell?" Kim said suddenly. "Or Heinlein?"

Ron got a surprised look on his face. "Heinlein? I would have never thought he was the type." was his response. "How did you find that out?"

"Well, while he and I were waiting for you and your girlfriend to, ahhhh... finish, he and I started talking and literature came up." was Kim's sheepish answer.

"Hm." Was Ron's response, but anything further was cut off by the chiming of the Kimmunicator.

Kim sighed and pulled the communication device off of her belt. "Hey Wade." she said. "Whats the sitch?"

"Hey Kim." Wade said as his face appeared on the screen. "I know you guys are probably tired, but Dr. Dementor is up to something."

"Really?" Kim asked. "What exactly is he up to?"

On his end Wade clicked his mouse a few times. "I don't know exactly, but the German government just put a twenty million dollar bounty on his head."

Ron and Kim nearly fell out of their seats in surprise at the size of the bounty.

"T-twenty million dollars?" Kim sputtered. "Wow."

"Do you know where he is?" Ron asked when he recovered from the shock.

"Working on it." was Wade's reply. "I can get you guys on a connecting Lufthansa flight out of Los Angeles, that'll take you straight to Berlin."

Kim and Ron looked at each other. "You feel up to this?" Kim asked.

Ron grinned. "When have I not, KP?" he asked.

"Good point." was Kim's response before she turned back to Wade. "Okay Wade, we're on it. Start arranging transport."

"On it." was Wades response.

"Thanks Wade." Kim said before she broke the connection. "Well..." she continued with a yawn "I don't know about you, but I think that I'm gonna get some sleep."

"Not a bad idea." Ron said as he echoed Kim's yawn.

Leaning back in his seat, Ron relaxed and closed his eyes. It was another five hours before they landed in LA, he could catch a few winks easily.

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"Well..." Drakken sighed. "I've certainly had plans go better." he continued as Shego shut the door to the mop closet.

"What are you talking about Blueberry?" Shego asked, arching an eyebrow and looking at Drakken.

Drakken gritted his teeth at a nickname that he had thought was dead and buried long ago, and explained. "Shego, I was making a comment that things could have went better."

"Really." was Shegos response, her other eyebrow arching and joining her other one in an expression of surprise.

Drakken growled in annoyance and wondered for the umpteenth time why the hell he couldn't get any decent, respectful, help instead of just decent. "Yes, really." he snapped. "I take it you have a sarcastic remark to make?"

Shego giggled -that would have been disconcerting had Drakken not just endured the day he'd had. "I wouldn't call it sarcastic." she answered.

"Well, smartassed then." Drakken growled. "Out with it! I have better things to do than play games with you."

Shego snickered contemptuously at him -Drakken had long since gotten used to such mannerisms- and spoke. "Before you start calling me names, I'd like to point out three things: One, the lair hasn't exploded. Two, you still have the equipment you acquired. Three, and this is an important one, Ron and the Princess are safely on their way out of Japan and we're not under arrest."

Drakken blinked a couple of times, thought about the points she had raised for a few moments and smiled at her. "Why Shego, I do believe you're right." he said. "Things have indeed turned out better than they usually do -albeit due to events and actions radically different than usual."

Shegos eyes went wide and she held up a fist at Drakken. "Okay, who the hell are you and what the hell have you done with Doctor D?" she asked.

Drakkens smile turned into a smirk. "Relax, Shego." he said. "I can acknowledge when someones right and I'm not."

"Uh -huh." Shego said. "So why haven't you before?"

Drakken shrugged. "I'm an asshole." was his answer.

Shego rolled her eyes and lowered a fist. "So, what brought this on?" she asked.

Drakken leaned against the door frame and stuck a hand in his pocket. "Oh, that's easy." he said. "While you were cleaning up your mess, I had a Scotch and a cigarette."

Shego sniffed the air and made a face. "Ugh." she said. "I hope you did it outside."

"Of course I did." Drakken said in mock horror. "I know what your opinion of cigarette smoke is, and I have no desire to get set on fire."

"Good." was Shegos response. "So, you gonna be more pleasant from now on?"

Drakken gave her another shrug. "Well, I have been felling more mellow since I started smoking and drinking again, so that's a distinct possibility." he said.

"Why'd you start again, anyways?" Shego asked, crossing her arms.

Drakken smiled this time. "That's easy." he said. "I was thinking about my dad, and how his old homeland had been conquered by a teetotaling, nonsmoking, vegetarian of a madman, and that one of the men who beat him was a drunk who ended up having a type of cigar named after him, and I didn't feel well after that realization." he added. "So I bought a pack of Marlboro Reds and had a stiff drink and I felt better."

"Oo-kay..." Shego said. "So realizing that you share two of the habits of Hitler shocked you off the wagon."

Drakken nodded. "Pretty much." he said. "I may want to rule the world, Shego, but I don't want to be him."

Shego nodded in agreement- Her maternal grandfather had fought the Germans when they had in invaded in 1940, and had kept up the fight when his countrymen had capitulated, and her paternal grandfather had been on the receiving end of the Condor Legion's tender mercies far too many times- so she knew exactly where he was coming from.

"I don't blame you." she said. "So does this mean that we're going to have plans that are going to work?"

Drakkens face split into one of his maniac grins. "I'd say that's a distinct possibility, Shego." he said before breaking into maniacal laughter.

Shego sighed and dusted off her hands. "Well, glad he's back to normal." she said as he walked down the corridor.

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"Miss Possible?"

Kim and Ron both turned when they heard the slightly German -accented voice. Standing behind them was the presumable owner of that voice, a man in his late thirties, of medium build, about five ten, with light brown hair.

"Yeah." Kim said, slightly surprised at the man's excellent English. "I take it you're our pilot?"

The man gave her a crisp nod and stood ramrod straight. "Yes." he said. "Oscar Hauptmann, at your service." he added, clicking his heels together in a Prussian salute.

"Spankin'." Kim replied. Hauptmann looked confused for a moment, then he chuckled and his face broke out into an easy smile.

"Ahh, Americans and your slang." he said. "It always makes for interesting conversation. Are you two ready to leave?"

"T-thank you." Kim said, hesitating for a moment. "And yeah, we're ready to go."

"Good!" Hauptmann said. "Follow me."

With that, he turned on his heel and strode away at crisp, fast paced, walk. Kim and Ron had to jog to catch up to him.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr Hauptmann?" Kim asked as she came up to him.

"Yes?" Hauptmann asked without breaking stride.

"Sorry about the slang a minute ago." Kim answered. "I didn't mean to cause any confusion..."

"Ah, it's okay, as you Americans say." Hauptmann replied. "I'm used to it. Once upon a time, I was a rather dashing fighter pilot in the German Air Force, and I grew used to it during joint exercises."

"Oh, I see...' Kim said.

"I also had to deal with the Queens English, and sometimes both at once, so I've developed a rather good grasp of the language." Hauptmann continued.

"Well, that's good for us." Kim said. "Last thing we need is a failure to communicate."

Hauptmann nodded. "Yeah, that's true." he said. "Those are fatal."

"That's what I'm worried about." Ron said, interjecting himself into the conversation. "I have this thing about breaking my neck."

"Oh, you worry too much." Kim answered. "We've did this a hundred times before, and nothing happened. You're more likely to have a clothing malfunction."

Ron's eyes bugged out and he automatically grabbed hold of his pants. "Don't say that!" he hissed. "Trust me on this, Kim, not a good idea right now!"

Kim just rolled her eyes as Hauptmann opened a door and they stepped out onto the airport tarmac. "Whatever you say Ron." she said.

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Shego watched as the last crate was placed in the hold of the hovercraft by a couple of Synthodrones, then flipped through the other cameras in one last sweep before they took off. As she went through them, she saw on of the auxiliary exterior cameras a motorcycle parked inside the enclosure.

"The hell...?" she asked herself. "How did I miss that?"

Pulling up the proper screen, Shego called up the particulars for that camera. It was like all of the other cameras in the lair, scanning a preprogrammed pattern in the visible and infrared spectrum's. It also had motion sensing capabilities, currently turned off for some reason.

Growling in irritation, Shego called up the video for that camera and rewound it until the bike entered the frame. Pausing it, she leaned in and took a look at who was riding the bike and confirmed what she had already suspected: Ron and the Princess had rode in on it.

And it was still sitting there... Shego thought about for a few moments and a grin came across her features. Getting up, she headed for the main corridor. A few minutes later, she was standing outside looking at the bike.

"Hubba hubba hubba..." She said huskily under her breath. "A Hiabusa... Ron you sexy beast." she added as she looked the bike over.

It was brand new, with what she assumed were dealer plates on it, which told her that it was probably on loan as a favor. The bike itself was gorgeous, and in her mind she could see Ron actually riding this bike over his scooter, even though the white paint job wasn't something she thought he'd have chosen.

That's when she saw that the keys were in the ignition.

"Oh, my..." she said to no one in particular. "It seems that the keys are still in the ignition. It would be a shame if someone were steal this motorcycle..."

Taking a quick look around, Shego turned the ignition out of lock and took the bike off of its kickstand before she wheeled it inside the lair, whistling innocently. She knew a couple of people who could retune it and tweak it -and give it a proper paint job, one fitting Ron.

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The wind whipped in through the open door of the chopper, cutting right through them to the bone. It may have been the middle of August, but you wouldn't know it in the Bavarian Alps. Gritting her teeth against the cold, Kim leaned out the door of the chopper and looked at their target.

It was an old German castle, jutting out the snow like it was formed from the mountains itself. The afternoon sun had almost finished dropping below the horizon, shrouding the castle in shadow.

"Dracula, your castle is ready..." Kim muttered under her breath.

Glancing back at Ron, she got a nod from him and then looked over at the pilot. Pointing at the castle, she stuck her hand up in the air and twirled her index finger in a circle. Hauptmann nodded and brought the chopper around over the castle.

Hauling back on the stick, Hauptmann put the chopper a hundred feet up in a hover over the parapet of the castle. Snapping a carabiner onto one of the D- rings in the floor, Kim kicked the rope that was tied to the carabiner out the door as Ron did the same.

A moment later she and Ron had the rope threaded through their rappelling gear and braced themselves against the edge of the door, using the rope to brace themselves. Crouching, they pushed off and dropped off into space.

Seconds later, they had rappelled down the hundred feet of rope onto the parapet. Disconnecting their rappelling gear, Kim gave the wave off to the chopper. Hauptmann flashed the running lights twice and moved off.

They watched him for a moment, then ran for the nearest doorway, which opened onto a stairwell. Taking the steps two at a time, they reached the courtyard. They paused for a moment to get their bearings, then moved towards the huge double doors that led to the castle's main hall.

When they reached the doors, they paused at Kims signal and she put her ear up against the door. She listened for a few moments, then nodded to Ron. Dementor was defiantly in there. Taking a couple of steps back, Kim took a quick look at the front of the main hall, not wanting to go in through the front door.

Spotting a small window, Kim grinned to herself and drew her grapnel gun. Tapping Ron on the shoulder to get his attention, she pointed up at the window. Ron nodded and pointed to another window opposite it, on the other side of the doors.

Kim nodded and aimed her grapnel gun as Ron got his out. She wondered why he was drawing that instead of using the Blade, but decided that it could wait for later. They had a Teutonic midget with a Napoleon complex to deal with first.

Ron aimed his grapnel and gave Kim a nod. She returned the nod and they fired their grapnels through the windows. Hearing the ching of the grapnels hitting home, they hit the retract buttons on their guns and were yanked bodily off their feet and through the windows.

Kicking their legs forward as they hit tension release on their guns, redirecting their momentum downwards and forwards towards the center of the hall. Half a second later they pulled the triggers on their guns, activating the tensioners in a braking maneuver that brought them to a perfect halt right as they met the floor.

Releasing the grapnels, they retracted their lines and holstered their guns as Dementor turned around to face them.

"Possible?How did YOU FIND ME?!" Dementor bellowed.

Kim smirked and assumed a stance that could only be described as 'cocky'. "My team and I can do anything, Dementor." she said. "Now give up. You're under arrest."

Dementor growled and muttered under his breath in German. "Very clever, Possible." he said to her. "I may haff no guards or Dachshunds, but you vill find I AM FAR FROM DEFENSELESS!!" he added, snatching a weird looking raygun off of the workbench behind him.

Ron and Kim both dived out of the way as he fired an energy blast at them, barely getting out of the way in time. Kim was peppered with chips of granite from the floor as she did a combat roll behind a pillar.

"You missed Dementor!" she yelled from behind her cover.

"I can assure you, I WONT THE NEXT TIME!" Dementor bellowed back.

"Oh, come on Demen-dork, you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn!" yelled Ron from his cover, a stack of crates.

Dementor's response was to snarl what Kim guessed were a few obscenities in German and blast the crates in anger. Kim, never one to interrupt her enemies while they made a mistake, used Dementors distraction to dash to another piece of cover.

Dementor saw the movement out of the corner of his eye, whirled and fired at Kim, but was way too late and only succeded in blasting some innocent masonry. Snarling in rage, he fired a few more times at where Kim had taken cover.

Ron, watching from the crates, was also one to not interrupt his enemies while they were making a mistake. So, using the skills and techniques taught him by the Yamanuchi, took a chunk of masonry lying by the crates and chucked it at him.

The rock came in as a sinking fastball with a bit of topspin, dropping right into right into the strike zone and smashing Dementors ray gun in an explosion of sparks. Dementor stared at the sparking, smoking, ray gun for a few moments, then threw it as far from himself as possible.

With a brilliant flash and bang, they ray gun exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere and making dust rain down from the ceiling. Shaking her head to clear it, Kim saw Dementor duck into a side door. Instantly, she was on her feet and running for the door, Ron a couple of steps behind her.

The door led to a narrow twisting passage. Her ears were still ringing from the blast, but Kim could faintly hear footsteps ahead of her in the passage. Running full bore down the passage, she and Ron followed it through an open door into a tunnel.

Skidding to a stop, she looked to her left and right, and spotted Dementor to her right, running down the tunnel.

"Man..." Ron said. "For a little guy, he is fast."

"Yeah." Kim agreed, then lit out after him in a sprint, Ron right behind her.

Dementor had enough of a lead that he was able to get to the door that was at the end of the tunnel before Kim and go through it before she was able to tackle him. Slamming the door shut behind him to try and slow Kim down, Dementor burst out onto the snow covered landing pad and lit out for te hover craft parked there.

Kicking the door open, Kim burst out onto the landing pad and saw that Dementor had already reached the hovercraft and was standing on the ramp, a look of triumph on his face.

"You're too late, Kim Possible!" he yelled. "For I haff reached mein hovercraft and WILL NOW ESCAPE!"

With that, he turned to walk up the ramp as Kim lunged for him, in a rush to get to the hovercraft before he could close the ramp.

However, before either of them had taken a couple of steps, there was the crack of a rifle shot, and Dementors right knee exploded in a mist of blood and bone. He screamed and toppled backwards, clutching at his knee as the lower half of his right leg toppled sideways and tumbled down the ramp.

For a couple of heartbeats, Kim and Ron stood there in shock, then their brains kicked into gear.

"Ron!" Kim barked. "I'll apply a tourniquet, you heal his leg." she added, grabbing Ron as she ran towards Dementor.

Ron nodded and stumbled along after her. In the back of his mind a voice was screaming that they had a shooter out there somewhere and that they should seek shelter, but another, louder part of his brain was screaming that Kim had told him what he should do and that he should do it.

So, when they reached Dementor, he knelt down by the ragged stump and forced down the bile that rose in his throat at seeing so much gore up close, and began to focus his healing powers on the torn flesh as Kim twisted her belt tightly around it.

Rons hands glowed blue for a few moments, then the glow faded. When he removed his hands, Dementors leg was healed, the stump covered by ragged white scar tissue.

"Thanks Ron." Kim said, removing her belt and looking at the wound. "You didn't replace his leg?" she asked.

Ron shook his head. "I-I cant do that." he answered. "The MMP can heal wounds, but it can't regenerate limbs."

"Oh." Kim said then exhaled a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding.

"Is he going to be okay?" Ron asked.

Kim looked at Dementor for a few moments then nodded her head. "Yeah." she said. "He'll live. I think we got to him before he could go into shock."

"Well, that's a relief." said a somewhat deep, powerful, and all too familiar voice behind them. "We wouldn't want our twenty million dollars dieing on us."

They whirled and saw Chris standing behind them, dressed in white snow camo holding a bolt action rifle wrapped in white cloth. Behind him, clad in similar attire was Andrew, holding a similarly treated SVD.

"Especially after all the hard work we put in." Andrew added as Chris reached into a pocket and pulled out what looked like an over sized black test tube.

"You two." Kim said. "I should have known."

Chris chuckled as he popped the end off of the tube and shook out a cigar. "Yep." he said, clamping the cigar in his teeth. "The kneecapping shot is sort of my trademark." he added as he reached inside his NDS bag. "Anyways, like I said, thanks for healing our prisoner for us. We'll be taking charge of him now."

Kims eyebrows shot up towards her hairline. "Excuse me?" she asked. "Your prisoner?" she asked. "What makes you think that he's your prisoner? We're the ones who busted into his hideout and flushed him out."

"Hey!" Andrew said, stepping forwards and pointing at the mountain looming behind them. "We just spent the last six hours climbing up the backside of that gorramed mountain and were getting ready to go in there after him when you two showed up and crashed the party!"

"Yeah, what he said." Chris added as he took out a miniature butane torch from the recesses of his bag. "You have any idea on just how damn hard it is to sneak up the side of a mountain?" he added, sparking the torch to light and applying it to the end of his cigar. "And as much as I'm enjoying this little pissing match, I think we should get inside before you three freeze to death."

"W-what makes you think that we're gonna freeze to death?" Kim asked, keeping her teeth from chattering through force of will.

"Because, Carrot Crotch, you look like you could cut glass there." Chris shot back, nodding at Kim's chest as he puffed on his cigar.

Kim looked down at herself, 'eeped', and covered herself. "Okay, you win." she said. "We'll finish this inside."

"Thought you might say that." Chris said, exhaling a blue blast of cigar smoke as his face split into a grin. Dropping the torch back into the bag, he took out a massive pair of handcuffs and tossed them to Ron. "Here. I'll be nice and let you use our handcuffs. Last thing any of us want is Komeraden Dementor to get his hands on something."

Ron caught the cuffs and wordlessly put them on Dementor as kim got to her feet. "Don't you mean Herr Dementor?" she asked.

"Nope." Chris said, shaking his head. "Komeraden is appropriate, trust me. Theres a bunch of people in Berlin who want to talk to the good doctor about his youth, back in the bad old days of the DDR and the Stasi."

"Who?" Kim asked innocently.

Chris groaned and smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. "God help us all. The youth of today are idiots." he said, looking up to the heavens.

"Hey-!" Kim said, but Chris held up a hand.

"Chill, Carrot Crotch." he said. "I was talking about the former East Germany and their secret police. Dementor used to work with them."

'Oh." Kim said, looking back at Dementor.

"Yeah." Chris continued. "Apparently, some documents were recovered from the files that the Stasi shredded detailing some projects he was connected with. Thats why they put the twenty mil bounty on him." he added. "The BfV want him bad."

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Dr. Director looked down at the report lying in the open manila envelope on her desk, frowned, then looked back up at Will Du who was standing at attention in front of her. He was sporting a black eye, a split lip, a split eyebrow, and the left side of his jaw was swollen up in a multitude shades of purple and black.

Director frowned and looked Du in the eye. "So, you attempted to take Dementor into custody, but B3S refused to surrender him?"

"Yes Ma'am." Du answered.

"I see." said director, steepled her fingers and looking over them at her star agent. "So, tell me, in your own words, exactly what happened?"

Du swallowed, wincing at the movement. "I made entry into the castle's main hall." he began. "Upon entry, I found Dementor inside, restrained. Guarding him were Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, along with Chris Stivers and Andrew Bauman. When I entered, they were having a discussion about what sounded like a financial discussion."

"About what?" Director asked.

Du didn't even blink. "I don't know." was his reply. "Anyways, I identified myself and stated that I why I was there. Mr. Stivers's response was to say, 'Oh like hell you are.' I repeated myself, and gave them my standard warning. I raised my taser, and the other two agents did the same." he continued. "Thats when Chris attacked me. I...I didn't see him move, ma'am."

Director nodded slightly. "Most people don't." she said. "He is enhanced, after all, though you wouldn't know it by looking at it."

Du nodded as well. "I know." he said. "I've read. Read PROJECT I-WATCH." he added, then winced. "Continuing on, then the next thing I knew I was hitting the far wall, and Chris was standing over me. He then said, and I quote, 'we're taking him in, and there's nothing your pretty boy bishy ass can do about it. Understand?" he added. "He emphasized that by punching me. I started to repeat myself, then he punched me again. That's when I passed out."

Dr. Director hmm'ed and flipped to the next page. "And when you came to, Possible and her sidekick were gone, along with Dementor and the two idiots were gone?" she asked. "And Agent Deitz was duct taped naked to the wall and Agent Andropovia was also naked and sitting under a blanket smoking?"

"Yes ma'am." Du said. "I have no idea what happened to them while I was out. You'd have to look at their reports to find out what happened."

Director snorted and put her hands on the desk. "I have read their reports, Du, and they are on report." she said. "Anyways, is that all?"

Du nodded. "Yes ma'am." he said.

"Well then." Director said. "for the interim, I'm putting you on desk duty until you've healed up."

"Yes ma'am." Du said. "And the amateurs?" he asked.

Director sighed and put the folder in a desk drawer. "I'll be speaking to Team Possible myself about what happened, Du." she said. "Dismissed."

"Yes ma'am." was Du's only response before leaving.

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Ron waved to the cabbie as he shut the door. "Thanks man." he said. "So, this is the place?" he asked, stepping up next to Kim as the cab pulled away with a blue blast of carbon monoxide.

"Yeah." Kim answered. "This is the place."

Ron arched an eyebrow. "Huh." he said. "A lot better than the last place." he added.

"Yeah." Kim agreed.

Ron was right. From what she could see of it through the iron gates, the mansion that lay before them was a lot better than Colonel Katsuragi's run down apartment building. Of course, there was a downside to the better condition of the mansion. Namely, the two armed and uniformed guards standing on each side of the gate.

Normally, guards weren't a problem for them, but having had encountered B3S, they had gained a new vitamin enriched respect for firearms, and the guards didn't look like the typical henchman they were used to dealing with- ie, competent and able to shoot straight.

That probably ruled out Plan A, walk up and ask nicely. So, Plan B.

"hey Ron." Kim said in a low voice.

"Yeah KP?" asked Ron.

"Is it me, or do those guards look particularly uncooperative?"

Ron nodded. "Yeah." he said. "You wanna sneak in?"

Kim nodded. "Yeah." she said.

"Coolio." was Ron's response, though with slightly less enthusiasm than Kim. In the back of his mind that little voice was screaming that there was something wrong about the place...

"Follow my lead." Kim said before she started walking down the street.

"Gah!" Ron jerked and ran after Kim.

Five minutes later, they were standing in front of another mansion, this one notably short of armed guards. They looked at each other and nodded. With a quick leap and a bound, they were over the fence and heading back towards the Hellsing mansion.

Reaching the wall, they stopped for a moment. Cupping his hands, Ron nodded to Kim. Putting her foot in his hands and boosted her up. Holding her hand out in a stopping gesture, Kim paused and took a look around to make sure the coast was clear. It was, and she gave Ron a nod and he boosted her the rest of the way up.

Pulling him up, they dropped down onto the ground and started towards the mansion in a low loping run towards the gardens in the back of the mansion. When they reached the gardens, they began to sneak through them.

The closer they got to the mansion though, the stronger the feeling of wrongness got. When they were about twenty five yards away, Ron reached out and tapped Kim on the shoulder.

"What is it?" Kim asked, hunkering down behind a conveniently placed fountain.

Peeking up over the fountain, Ron checked to make sure the coast was clear and ducked back down next to Kim. "There's something wrong with this place." Ron whispered. "Really wrong."

"What do you mean?" Kim whispered back. "You're MMP sensing something?"

''Yeah." Ron answered. "I don't know why, but I've got all sorts of warning bells going off inside my head."

"And zat's far enough." said a French accented voice behind them, accompanied by the all too familiar sound of a safety going off. ''Now turn around- zlowly."

Kim and Ron complied, and as they did, they came face to face with a man in fatigues with an eyepatch and long braided hair.

"Ah-h-h-h... hi." .Kim stammered out nervously. "Please don't shoot us."

The man grinned -leered really- at Kim. "Only if you misbehave..." he said. "Now hands up and on your feet pleaze. My employer iz keen to speak vith you."

Gritting their teeth, Ron and Kim complied and got to their feet. Smirking, he nodded at the mansion. "Very good." he said. "Now valk- and no funny buizness."

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Integra Hellsing sighed and glowered at the two teens standing in front of her desk. "Why the bloody hell were you two git's attempting to break into my home?" she asked.

Kim swallowed nervously. "Well, we were looking for information." she said. "About B3S."

"WHAT?!" Integra shrieked and in the blink of an eye she had a Beretta Model 93R leveled at them. "What the bloody hell do you two want with those cunts?!"

Both teens eyes grew as big as dinner plates as they stared down the muzzle of the burst fire machine pistol.

"Oh shit, not this again!" was Ron's response.

Integra flicked the muzzle to aim at Ron's forehead. "What the fucking hell are you talking about?" she asked.

Ron gulped and his eyes got even wider. "Aa-hh... t-the l-last person who we talked to d-did the same t-thing you're doing..." he said, his life flashing before his eyes. "Please don't kill me... "

"Who did you talk to?" Integra growled, drawing a bead between his eyes. Ron gibbered as she sighted the pistol. "Answer me!" she snarled.

"A Colonel Katsuragi!' Kim shouted. "Colonel Misato Katsuragi, JSDF!"

Integra flicked her eyes at Kim, then swung the Beretta around to face her. "And why did you talk to her?" she asked.

"W-we asked if she knew how they got enhanced!" Kim stammered. "She said that only Chris got enhanced and she said that she thought that Bauman probably got enhanced when he was working here!"

"Why do you want to know that?" was Integras response.

Kim swallowed and a very nervous look came over her face. "T-they said that they like us..." she said. "Me and Ron, that is."

Integra's jaw dropped open and she lowered her pistol. "Dear Lord." she said. "May He have mercy upon your souls."

"y'know, it seems like they get this kind of reaction out of a lot of people." Ron said, staring slack jawed as Integra opened a drawer on her desk and took a cigar out.

Integra flicked a lighter and lit her cigar. Taking a draw from it, she exhaled and looked at the blond teen. "How much time have spent in the company of those two lunatics?" she asked. "To be specific, have you ever spent an extended length of time in their company?"

"Just a couple of hours." was Kims response. "We just left them a little while ago, in Germany."

Integra swallowed some cigar smoke and started a coughing fit when she heard that. When it passed she looked up at Kim. "You mean to tell me they're on the Continent?" she asked.

Kim nodded. "Y-yeah." she said. "They captured Doctor Dementor and handed over to the German government. They're right now waiting for payment."

Integra cleared her throat and took another draw on her cigar. "Well, I see they're still up to their old tricks." she said. "How much were they going to be paid?" she asked.

"Twenty million dollars." Kim answered. "We were on our way here when we heard about Dementor, and we both managed to grab him at the same time."

"We had an argument over who actually got to him first." Ron chimed in.

"Really." Integra said dryly, and calmly put her hand on the grip of her 93R. "And how did you manage to survive unscathed?"

"Well..."Kim said and looked at her shoes. "Ah..."

"I suggested that if they gave us five percent of the bounty we'd be cool with them giving him to the Germans rather than us handing him over to Global Justice."

Behind them Pip laughed at the mention of the United Nations law enforcement division. "Not a bad idea." he said as Kim glared at Ron. "At least with the Germans he'd manage to face justice."

"Five percent?" Kim asked. "What are you talking about Ron? I don't recall agreeing to that!"

Ron shrank back from the angry redheads glare. "I suggested it when you went to the bathroom, KP." he said. "I figured it'd probably work better than trying to morally browbeat them into submission like you were doing."he added. "I mean, that's a hundred thousand dollars, Kim! That's fifty grand apiece!."

Integra's eyebrow arched up and the corner of her mouth twitched up into a smirk. "You're partner is considerably smarter than the press gives him credit for." she said. "That was probably the best possible resolution for that situation."

Kim whipped her head around to face Integra. "What are you talking about?" she asked.

Integra flicked the ash off the end of her cigar into a cut crystal ashtray. "I worked with Mr Stivers and Bauman for a year and a half, Miss Possible." Integra said. "Chris, to put it bluntly, is a sociopath. He cares nothing for the rules and norms of society, respecting only those he sees as having earned his respect.

Mr. Bauman is one of those few, Miss Possible, and the he's the only person I've seen him able to convince him to take a course of action on moral grounds- well, moral for them anyways. So be glad Mr Stoppable was able to resolve that dispute the way he did. It could have been much, much, worse."

"But the money-" Kim began but Integra cut her off.

"I won't tell you what I think you should do with the money." she said. "It's your business. Spend it, sit on it, save it for your kids. I don't care. Or if you would rather not have it all, donate it anonymously to a charity- I know they would approve of it."

Kim gave Integra deadpan look. "You're kidding." she said.

"I assure you, Miss Possible, I am not 'kidding' you." she said. "B3S are surprisingly complex men. Now, I am a very busy woman and I do not have time for idle chit chat. What do you want to know about Mr. Stivers and Bauman?"

Kim blinked and shook her head. "Ah, it's about Andrew." she said. "We know that he was human when he arrived here, but now he's... not."

"Oh, that." Integra said. "It was some sort of virus." she said. "I suspect like a vast majority of their equipment and their funding, he stole it."

"from who?" Kim asked.

"The Umbrella Corporation." Integra answered. "It was on his day off. He and Chris had gone out drinking, and in the course of their rampages, had managed to steal a Morris Minor. Some how, Mr Bauman managed to launch the thing into the air and succeeded in crashing it into the third floor of their London offices, on it's roof." she added, flicking more ash from the end of her cigar. "That of course, attracted the company's security personnel, and from what I understand, the ensuing fight was a real donnybrook. Either way, when it was over, they returned in a lorry loaded with looted materials and equipment. I don't know how they obtained said materials and equipment, and since Umbrella didn't press charges, I don't care."

"Okay..." Kim said. "So thats how Andrew got enhanced."

"Yes." Integra said with a nod. "Don't ask me about the specifics, Andrew did it on his own time and with his own money. Do you have any more questions?"

"Yes, just one." Kim said.

"And?" Integra responded.

"Do you know of anyone else we should talk to?" asked Kim. "Anyone who would be able to tell us more about them?"

Integra pursed her lips for a moment. "I'll have my butler draw you up a list." she said. "They'll be the people that were on the team that engineered the virus that Andrew used, along with a couple of their contacts."

"I thought you didn't care about that." Kim pointed out.

"That's true, Miss Possible." Integra answered. "I'm not a fool. They already had a bit of reputation when they came to work for me, so I kept tabs on them. I know for a fact they did the same with me. And that's all I'm going to say on the matter. Captain Bernadette!"

Behind them the one eyed man straightened. "Oui, Mademoiselle Hellsing?" he asked.

"Show Miss Possible and Mr Stoppable out." Integra ordered. "And don't forget to have Walter give them that list."

Captain Bernadette saluted Integra. "Oui, Oui." he said, then turned his attention to the two teens. "Come with me please."

Integra watched as the two teens left her office and the door closed behind her. Taking a draw on her cigar, she blew out the smoke and watched as it floated up to the ceiling.

"Well?" she asked aloud to the empty room. "I know you were watching them the whole time. What do you think of them?"

The Vampire Alucard stepped out of a wall and stood before the portait of her father that hung in Integras office. "They're a most interesting pair." he said simply. "Give them a few more years, and I think they could actually kill me." he added, then looked pleased at that thought. "I think that would be an...entertaining battle."

Integra shot him in response. Chuckling, he sank into floor as Integra put her pistol away. "Bloody undead smeggheaded cunt." she muttered as she got back to her paperwork.

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End.