Happy Independence Day to my fellow Americans! And a Happy Birthday to Alfred F. Jones, everyone's favorite Hero!
"Far" is Swedish for "father" and "isä" is Finnish for "father".
Chapter 14
All of the interactions in the living room come to a halt as a loud "FUCK!" is heard from the kitchen. Russia is the first to react, shaking his head.
: Watch your language, your siblings can hear you!: He calls in Russian.
"Sorry, dad!" Jersey yells back as Alfred, followed by the Northeastern states, renter the living room.
The use of "dad" being addressed to Russia surprises many nations, including Netherlands, England, and even Japan. The only nations who have heard the states other than Alaska refer to Russia as 'dad' are the Nordics, Prussia, Canada, Mexico, and Belarus.
"Del, can you go get isä, far, and the little ones?" Alfred asks his oldest state. "They're in the playroom." Delaware nods and leaves down the hallway.
"Okay everyone, listen up!" America uses his 'hero' voice. "I just got a call from my boss. He and the rest of your bosses were in a meeting." He pauses as Finland, Sweden, Washington, Delaware, Alaska, and Hawaii enter, along with Puerto Rico and Guam. Knowing the time, Alfred assumes that American Samoa, U.S. Virgin Islands, and Northern Marianna Islands are all asleep in their rooms already.
"They decided that, since you're all here, they're going to take this as an opportunity to better our relations with each other as personifications. They're also having me show you guys around and show you the true spirit of America. According to my boss, this is supposed to last at least ten days-"
America is cut off by loud protests from many states and a few countries. After about two minutes, America takes a handgun from the pocket of his sweatshirt and fires three blanks into the air. Many countries jump, but the states fall silent, most of them looking like chastised children. Only the young territories are startled, and to Alfred's relief, none of the infants upstairs wake up crying.
"What the bloody hell was that?!" England shouts at America from the back of the room.
"It's dad telling us to shut the hel-heck up," Texas says with a 'duh' tone.
"That's how you control your children? No wonder-" England is cut off by France.
"Angleterre, shut up mon ami." Surprisingly, England does, closing his mouth.
"As I was saying," America continues. "Our bosses decided that some of you would stay here for at least ten days. Poland, Liechtenstein, Switzerland, and Netherlands, your bosses want you back, but seeing as it's night and you're probably all tired, we'll get you guys on a flight back to Germany tomorrow.
"Okay! The guest portion of the house is on this floor, you guys have free reign on this floor, and the outside grounds. The second floor is strictly family relations and the youngest children. The floors above that are the rooms of the rest of the states sorted by region. There is no reason to enter the third or fourth floors. If you need Russia, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, Japan, or myself and we're in our rooms, you can enter the second floor, but do not bother my children. There is no reason for anyone to enter the basement, so please stay out of there as well." Alfred stops to think for a moment.
"Belarus, do you want your usual room?" The Eastern European country calls out her agreement, and America nods. "Prussia and Romano you'll share with Germany and Veneziano respectively. Lithuania, Latvia, are you two okay with sharing a room?" The two Baltic nations also call out agreements. Eventually, rooms are figured out.
Prussia and Germany, the Italies, Lithuania and Latvia, China and Spain, and France, and England are all given rooms together. Belarus is given a separate room. Switzerland and Liechtenstein take a room, Poland has his own and Netherlands was offered to sleep in an empty room on the second floor to avoid having to share a room with said Pole.
"There should be parting screens in one of the closets if you guys want them. Any questions?" There's a tense silence in the room, there's a question on most of the countries' minds, but few dare to ask it.
"Alright fine," Romano speaks up. "If none of you ba-" he cuts himself off at Alfred's look of warning. "-People won't ask, I will, even if I already know the answer. America, why did New Jersey call Russia 'dad'?"
"Well-" Alfred is cut off suddenly by Ivan. Said Russian gives an almost feral grin before grabbing Alfred around the waist and kissing him soundly. There are some wolf whistles, some groans, and a few "eewww"s. After almost 20 seconds, there's the sound of a shotgun cocking, causing Russia to let of America. The noise had come from Finland, who has a shotgun in his hands.
"Sorry isä" Alfred apologizes with a sheepish smile, though most everyone can tell that he isn't sorry at all. A very real blush is obvious on his cheeks though. "Russia isn't only the father of Alaska, he's my lover, and is like a second dad to a lot of my kids."
"Honhonhon, you get around, don't you Amérique?" France is teasing, all in good fun, but the next statement isn't.
"Having kids that are France's, Spain's, England's, Japan's, Russia's, and who knows who else's? It seems like the superpower is a super-whore." This wasn't any of the invited guests, but instead, it was Cuba, one of America's Caribbean neighbors. None of the states seem surprised by the sudden intruder, but most wear annoyed and angry looks.
"What the fuck did you just say about our father?" Texas asks dangerously, having already pointed a gun at the intruding nation, the safety flicked off. Next to him are New Jersey and Illinois, guns also loaded and aimed. Kentucky is also behind them, itching to give Cuba a good beating.
"I'd suggest you listen to them. They'll have your body riddled with bullets in seconds" America warns nonchalantly.
"So you need kids to defend you? Pathetic?"
"I can handle myself, Cuba. But Russia currently has my gun. Besides, how can I say 'no' to my kids?"
"You have three seconds to get off of our property before I give Америка his gun back." Russia's tone is sickly sweet and has a menacing undertone, causing many countries to shiver.
"Three" Jersey says with a dark grin.
"Two" Illinois and Jersey flick their safeties off.
"One" the three brothers open fire as Cuba starts sprinting.
Question for you guys: should Spain get a little bit of redemption? Like, enough so that he and the states are on okay terms.