So here is the next chapter – Hi-World, not a hill (and no pail either I'm afraid) but some stairs which is the closest I think I can get within the confines of the hospital!...
Friday, 17.12. Stairwell
Jac and Jil climbed slowly, side by side, up the stairs to the sixth floor. Jac wasn't really happy about this, but Jil had insisted, arguing that gentle exercise was good for her, and that she could really do with some now. Jac's last operation of the day had gone off uneventfully, and she'd once again left Oli to finish up, before going to collect Jil from Otter ward. She'd found her in the ward playroom, surrounded by a small group of pyjama-wearing children, playing with the huge box of Lego that seemed to be standard issue kit on every Paeds ward Jac had ever been on. Jac watched her friend for a moment or two – enjoying the sight and unwilling to disturb her when she was obviously having such a good time. She was reminded of how, all those years ago when Jil had first mentioned clinical psychology as a possible career, she had been so sure that she'd be good at it. She saw now that that certainty had been well-founded – there was something effortless about the way Jil was relating to the children she was playing with, and Jac knew that the children of Hilllingdon were very lucky to have her working with them. A few minutes later, however, Jac was wondering if Jil's affinity with children was actually such a good thing after all: the one thing she hadn't factored in to the equation when deciding that the children's ward was a good place for Jil to spend some time, was quite how difficult it would be to get her away from the children, who had, it would seem, along with everybody else Jil had met today, fallen in love with her. In the end she'd had to enlist Sean's help (which meant she owed him another favour) and even then it was only by bribing them with the promise of chocolate sponge for pudding, that he'd eventually managed to secure her friend's release. It was the effect Jil had had on everyone in the hospital they were currently discussing.
"I don't get it" Jac said.
"Get what?" Jil asked
"How you're so nice all the time – it's just not natural. I mean, you've been here, what, just about six hours and you've already got more people to like you than I have in over six years!"
"But Jac – like I've been telling you for all of those six years, and more besides, it's easy to be liked, especially when you work in the NHS. And anyway, I'm not nice all the time and you don't have to be, you just have to appear to be nice some of the time, and that's really easy to do."
"Alright then, seeing as you're such an expert at this niceness malarkey," Jac said, "how do you do it?"
"Firstly, you have to mind your P's and Q's," Jil answered. "Just saying please and thank you goes an awful long way when you're working with people." She saw the sceptical look on Jac's face – the raised eyebrow was always a give-away, but continued undaunted. "Look, manners might cost nothing but they're really important, and I'm sure if everyone was a bit more polite to each other there wouldn't be half the problems there are in the world today. It shows respect you see, if you're polite to someone, and everyone likes to be shown respect – makes them feel valued, which makes them like the person who's being polite to them, you see?"
"Mmm, maybe," Jac said, not sounding totally convinced, "suppose I could maybe try being a bit more polite. "OK, what else?"
"In a word, biscuits." Jil said, "in two words, chocolate biscuits."
Jac who had never expected her friend to say anything like that, stopped dead, with one foot on the next stair and said incredulously. "Pardon!"
Jil who had continued with her ascent of the stairs, stopped turned round towards her friend smiling "I said biscuits," she repeated, "and more specifically chocolate biscuits." She continued, into the stunned silence her pronouncement had caused, "although really any food you provide is almost guaranteed to win you points on both the likeability and niceness scales"
"What in God's name are you on about?" Jac asked, genuinely bewildered by, to her mind, the surreal turn their conversation had taken.
"I don't think there's any need to bring Him, or maybe Her, into it Jac," chided Jil gently, continuing, both with walking up the stairs and her speech. "I am on about, as you so eloquently put it, the fact that, having worked in the NHS for more years than I care to remember I know that, at its heart, it runs on cups of tea and chocolate biscuits. So all you have to do to win friends and influence people, in a good" she stressed "way, is to occasionally bring some biscuits in. Although, really most foodstuffs are generally welcome – biscuits, cakes, chocolate, nice fruit like grapes or strawberries, not that I like strawberries," she said, on a tangent, "but most people do. Or you could bring in some posh coffee and hot chocolate for the staff room, or do a drinks run at the café or, I don't know, order pizza in for everyone when you're next on a night shift. The possibilities are endless, and therefore, so are the opportunities to be seen to be nice."
"So you're telling me that all I need to do to be liked is bring in a couple of packets of biscuits every now and again?" Jac, who had by this time also resumed climbing the stairs, and was catching up with Jil, asked incredulously.
"No that wouldn't be all you'd need to do, but it'd definitely help." Jil clarified, and then remembering something continued, "ooohh but what would be even better is if you made a batch of your legendary flapjacks and brought them in for everybody. People just LOVE home-made cakes!"
"Legendary?" Jac said, as she fell back into step with Jil "I really don't think my flapjacks could be called that."
"You wanna bet!" Jil exclaimed, "Mum's still mad with Dad because he told Uncle Tony they were the best things he'd ever eaten and the boys just love them. They went on and on about them so much, literally raving about how good they were, after the last time you were down and baked them, that Assumpta, bless her, made some herself. And I know it's not funny," she said, the large grin she was wearing belying her words, "but you should have seen her face when Christopher said 'They're very nice mummy, but not as delicious as Auntie Jac's' it was such a picture!"
"Really?" Jac asked, amazed. "Wow, I'd never have thought I could out-do Assumpta on any sort of domestic task, I mean it's just not really me is it?"
"Well, obviously you have hidden talents that even you don't know about." Jil said. "Which brings me on to the easiest thing of all that you can do to be liked which involves the use of your secret weapon."
"Secret weapon….right" Jac said, uncertainly, "…..it must be a very well-kept secret seeing as how I have no idea what it is!
"Oh Jac," Jil said, managing to convey her amazement at her friends lack of knowledge in those two words, "it's literally, well almost, blindingly obvious"
"Not to me" Jac said, "really!"
"Your smile Jac" Jil replied simply, "your smile! You could stop traffic with it if you put your mind to it, so I can't see how a few doctors and nurses could resist it if you turned it on with them! Really, that's all you'd need to do sweetheart, just smile. Dazzle them!" As she made this pronouncement the two friends reached the sixth floor and pushing the swing doors at the top of the stairs open entered the corridor outside Darwin.
"So you're trying to tell me," Jac said, pausing just before they reached the ward doors "that people would go weak at the knees if I smiled at them?" The scepticism was evident in her voice, but had absolutely no effect on Jil who answered.
"I absolutely guarantee it! Psychologically speaking it's very difficult for people not to smile back when someone smiles at them, and the act of smiling makes then get that warm, fuzzy feeling, you always pretend you hate so much, which in turn increases their regard for the person who smiled at them in the first place. It's a positive feedback loop you see" she explained. "Look we can test it out now – I want you to smile, a proper smile mind, at the first person you see when we get on to the ward. OK?"
"Alright." Jac acceded, "I'll try it, but I have to tell you I think you're talking rubbish! Dazzle them my foot!" And so saying, she pushed open the doors of the ward, and holding them open for Jil, followed her in. Walking down the corridor she spotted Mo coming the other way, 'this is going to be too easy' she thought, 'Mo'll never be won over with a smile, especially not by me!' Confident that this encounter would blow Jil's ridiculous theory out of the water, she prepared herself and said, smiling as she did so "Hey Mo, how did your CABG go today?"
Mo looked slightly surprised at the question, but responded, also smiling, "Erm yeah, it went well, thanks for asking." She continued walking towards the door, puzzlement evident on her face, and after a few steps stopped and turned round to say, "I'm going down to the café to get a drink – do you want anything?"
"No. No thanks." Jac said, genuinely stunned by Mo's reaction, "erm, we'll be going soon hopefully. I've just got to wait till Mr Klein comes up from recovery."
"OK," Mo said, "well if I don't see you before you go, have a good weekend."
"Yes, thanks" Jac said, "you too."
"See I told you," Jil said triumphantly, as they watched Mo leave the ward. "All you need to do is dazzle them with that smile of yours and they'll think you're the best thing since sliced bread!" And taking her friend's arm and wearing a fairly dazzling smiling herself she turned Jac round and steered her towards her office.