Hi! I know, I know, it's been seven months… I am truly sorry! Here be the next chapter:

            Aragorn, burned and furiously struggling but being held down by Boromir (who had never liked him in the first place) and Gimli (who found this whole affair quite amusing) yelled, "You can't do this to me, I tell you! NOT THE HAIR! ANYTHING BUT THE HAIR!"

            "SILENCE!" bellowed Gandalf, "Or else you will draw every orc in Moria to this very spot!"

            "That shut Aragorn up. "Oh…" he nodded, "right. Heh heh, oops?"
            Gandalf rolled his eyes and continued, "Now then, how do we go about shaving Aragorn's head?"

            "Hey dol, merry dol, ring dong the willow,

            The Elf-prince has knives, says Tom Bombadill-o,

            Give the Elf's knives to Tom Bombadill-o,

            He'll make quick work of it, fal lal do-dillo!" sang Tom, rubbing his hands together eagerly.

            "NO!" yelled Legolas, "NO ONE BUT ME TOUCHES MY KNIVES!"

            "Fine then," Gandalf shrugged, "You do it!"

            Legolas thought about what Gandalf had just said. "Really?" asked the former Elf hopefully.

            A look of sheer panic crossed the Ranger's face. "ANYONE BUT LEGOLAS BOROMIR OR TOM!" screamed Aragorn.

            "Shut up," hissed Gandalf.

            Gimli raised his right hand, his left stroking his beard. "I'll do it, laddie! We Dwarrrves arre excellent hairrrstylists! I myself trrrimmed my own bearrrd just yesterrrday!"

            This threw Aragorn into even more of a panic, as Gimli pretty much resembled a gigantic beard with eyes. "No! Er… I'll take my chances with Legolas!"

            "I could always do it," offered Gandalf, "Though my hands aren't as steady as they used to be and I may just cut open your head…." He trailed off.

            "That's fine," assured Aragorn with a forced smile, "Legolas can do it." He threw the former Elf a glare. "Just don't hurt me!"

            "Don't worry, I won't… much," promised Legolas who pulled out a knife, and , standing on Sam's shoulders, began to snip off bits of singed hair. "I bet you wish you had Tom's hair," he told the Ranger with an evil grin.

            "Shut up – ow!" hissed Aragorn, "Watch the scalp!"

            "Sorry."

            "Hey diddly ho diddly, Tom Bombadill-o,

            Here's something that Tom doesn't know, nor does the willow,

            How the Elf can cut Man's hair, without things going ill-o,

            When he doesn't know how to shave, like Tom Bombadill-o!" sang Tom, getting the hobbits to join in his little jig.

            "Idiot," grumbled Gandalf.

            "There we go, it looks much better now," commented Boromir with a smirk, seeing the majority of Aragorn's hair gone. "Now there's just the matter of the burns…"

            Aragorn, seeing the eager glint gleaming in the eyes of nearly everyone present, hastily interjected, "I can take care of that myself!"

            "No you can't! You can't even see the burns, Aragorn," argued Frodo.

            "Hmph!" Aragorn groaned, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ow! Hey!" Turning his attention to Legolas, Aragorn again glared at the former Elf.

            "Whoops… Did that hurt? I'm terribly sorry," Legolas sighed, feigning innocence.

            "Hey diddly doddly, Tom's got a plan-oo!

            A very good plan it is, and very smart too,

            To bandage the Ranger so he doesn't lose his head-o,

            Is a task for me, 'cause I won't try to make him dead-o!" sang Tom, pulling bandage out the purse-like bag that Aragorn carried with him everywhere (and which, fortunately, had only been lightly singed)

            "Er… no!" Aragorn declared.

            "Hey dol, merry dol, look around, dillo,

            No one else is tall enough, hop along dillo,

            Tom will have to fix you up, Tom Bombadill-o!"

            And before Aragorn could say a word, Tom began winding bandages around his head. And continued to wind, despite the Ranger's (literally) violent protests. This went on for about an hour, after which the circumference of Aragorn's head was a good thirteen inches more than it had been previously.

             It looked as though he were wearing a turban, and, as Tom tied the bandage ends in a rather showy-looking bow, everyone (save Aragorn) couldn't help but laugh.

            "I'm going to kill you!" threatened Aragorn, patting the bandages on his head.

            "Hey! You can't kill him in that body! I plan on getting that body back!" protested Legolas.

            "Fine! I'll just kill his original body and then he'll have no place to go back to!"

            Legolas nodded. "Sure – wait, that would kill me!"

            "So?!"
            "The he'd be trapped in my body forever! And I'D BE DEAD!"

            "Point being?"

            "You want me dead?! I'm telling my father on you!" whined Legolas.

            "And?"

            "He'll probably declare war!"

            "So?"
            "You think that you stand a chance against the whole of Mirkwood?"

            "Mmmmm… maybe?"

            "Take that back this instant!"

            "The killing thing was only a figure of speech!" Aragorn pointed out.

            "It was a threat!"

            After that, Aragorn couldn't think of an argument with which to bail himself out. "I… er… uh…"

            Thankfully, Gandalf interrupted with, "We must keep moving! We have lingered here too long!"

            And so, with much grumbling about attempted murder, the Fellowship moved on.