Chapter 14:

The Worst is Just Around the Bend

-x-

Hanji was not blind enough to see how Levi would give out his casual blank stares but ended up dropping his eyes on the floor and looking broken after seeing her with Georges. Even if she wanted to be that blind so that she would no longer have to see how Levi's eyes softens and saddens because of her. She knew exactly that it was because of her after he sees her with Georges and she can't help but feel guilty.

It was not only Levi who seems to be being blown away of her constant mingling with Georges, but also her research and studies about the titans. Moblit is constantly being asked to go away and being replaced by Georges to help and assist Hanji. The poor blond would always go away feeling useless where everyone had always viewed and know that he is supposed to help Hanji at all cost, and he now fears that he is not doing his job.

Erwin also raised a brow when Hanji told him of Georges advances to her and that she plans to agree on his advancements, and she looked adoringly stupid with her hands clasped, jumping in the balls of her feet, telling him that she feels like she is a princess in the story. What Erwin sees is that Hanji has been, for the very first time, being pulled away from her duties in the Survey Corps and would mostly be absent or not around her laboratory and mostly, meetings every now and then. Whenever she is to be looked for, the younger recruits will often tell him that she is with Georges, smooching here and there and he is not happy about such news, shaking his head and sighed, giving her the opportunity to feel loved, as she would always tell him. She would also always pass papers late and it made Erwin tell her of her new found behaviour, and Hanji was greatly saddened by what she had heard.

"Being loved is not bad Hanji but I am reminding you of your role as a buntaichou." Erwin once told her when he suddenly reached to his limits and confront her of her behaviour. "I always knew that you are a responsible person Hanji, but now you are allowing yourself to be pulled away and act like some kind of a nosy, irresponsible teenager" Hanji was in the verge of tears and Erwin walks away, not wanting to see how she would react of what he had told her.

It has been a month after she ended the kind of relationship that she has with Levi, she had allowed Georges to snuggle closer to her when they are alone, nuzzle his nose on her, hold her hand, massage her back and shoulder after a long day's work inside the laboratory, tap her head and even carry her to sleep. What she doesn't understand is why she won't lean in against any of his touches to her. Georges did seem to felt and see that so he never stole a kiss on her lips but sometimes plants an unexpected kiss on her cheek. She would laugh or chuckle nervously and tremble on his embraces. She even gave Georges the liberty to call her in her given name of Zoe, or any other cheesy names that sounded too girly for her ears.

She had been used with her surname to call to her since everybody knew how much she is in favour of neutral gender and opened up that she feels like a man sometimes and a woman, that she did not cared at all because she is who she is, even Levi knows that and agrees to that and told her of being open minded and all. He even joked to her that 'a fucking straight woman everytime you're with me, most especially when we have our very private time alone.' A faint smile crossed her lips, remembering those funny memories she had with the midget captain.

But the time she explained that part to Georges, he suddenly jerked of, pursued his lips and told her that 'I want you to be a woman, a real, straight woman and you are my woman so you need to be viewed as a woman, not some open freakish gay'. She was saddened to hear that since being gay is not much a big deal for her, and whether she is gay or not, she wanted to be loved being that way, not being forced into something she isn't comfortable with. Being a man and a woman is who she really is and she loved being that way, being the best with two worlds. She didn't expect him to act this way towards her view about fair gender views and she can't help but to feel sad. She smiled despite of Georges being that way, she knew that there would still be a hundred reasons why she loved Georges and promised herself not to bring that topic up ever again so she hopelessly agreed to his favor.

She also realizes that this is Georges, not Levi and she should be used to it if she wanted to have a stable relationship with him, like any woman always wanted, a stable man on her life. But things change and would become unpredictable when she least expects it.

She understands the need of him keeping distance from her but somehow, she finds it a bit painful. Levi has been a huge part of her life, even shared her big firsts with him and it's impossible to think that she herself is not even hurt of their agreed, low goodbyes. Somewhere in her heart, she hopes that he is not suffering the same feeling of pain and confusion like she does and wishes him every single day.

Conversations has always been easy with Georges but once that they were having a long conversation in the middle of a hot afternoon and he suddenly tells her something that rang her ears terribly. "Look Zoe, I am the type of man who always gives the best for the woman I wanted to share my life with but I also irritably have short patience when it comes to things like this. I give my best, make you feel special and loved but I don't want to keep waiting forever."

Hanji looked upon him quizzically, wondering. "What are you trying to say, Georges?" she asks him, finding herself chuckling a bit but can't contain the shiver that just let out along her spine unexpectedly. Her heart suddenly beat fast, feeling as though something isn't right. For the past days that she had been spending more time with Georges, more time even than that of her researches, she had found herself experiencing this kind of unwanted feeling, that she would shiver or wobble so suddenly and would force herself to stop and calm herself down. She had also felt that she is a bit irritable and can't help feeling like something, somewhere where she is doing, there's something wrong.

What made her feel that way even more is how he would get mad like hell when she would tell him that she can't go and be with him and that she is busy, telling her that he is too tired of always adjusting into her schedule of everyday so she is forced to drop her notes and other stuffs and go grab his hand instead. She would even feel more troubled when Moblit will come and go look for her. She would see him, and she would also see him sigh and go away without her then would find out that Erwin had gotten mad of the other blonde.

Poor Moblit.

Maybe Georges was wrong for her all along.

She shook her head and focused on the man right in front of her, reminding herself that this is what she wanted and who she chose. She wanted to settle down, be admired, be respected, be treated like a real woman and be loved, most especially for who she is.

Thinking about it, she recalled how Levi's presence has been very much comforting and the possibility of him loving her back, then remembered how he sex her up most nights, remembering how much of a coordinating toy she was for him after all.

She smiled warmly at Georges and he gave him a soft look. "That I don't want to be kept waiting for you, Zoe. I only have a limit and I want to know if you are interested on me or not."

"And how long is this limit of yours, Georges?" Hanji, a bit shuddered and surprise of what she just heard.

"Four months, Zoe" he said, with a matching showing of his four fingers right to her face. She didn't smiled nor grinned but only looked at him behind her glasses, looking straight and serious.

"Oh" she manages to say and tucked her glasses closer to her eyes. "And what if I can't give you an answer within those required months of yours?" she asks, sounding a bit challenging but she can't herself. She knows that being a gentleman doesn't need a month limit or some kind of shit like that if he is courting a woman, and he is not even speaking gentle this time to her. He sounds pushy and she didn't like it.

He smirked at her and slowly made his way towards her with slow coordinated steps. She didn't feel threatened or worried if he is to do something kinky or unwanted towards her, she know what to do if he would do such thing towards her. Instead, as she watches him with serious and straight eyes and finally reaching her, he stretched his hand towards her face and tucked a hair gently behind her ears. He leans slowly into her ear.

"I doubt that" he whispers and kissed her on the cheek. He winked at her and went out of the room, as Hanji fumed when she was left all alone.

She didn't wanted to get mad but he is doing things that is making her mad. Why does he need to be forceful and tells her that he should only court her for four months? She wanted to know more about him because even she let herself go to Levi, it took them for six years before he even started kissing and sexing her up because she had known and trusted Levi for years. Fuck, he is the person who she really trusted the most and having sex with him is not a regretful thing that she shared with him. If she is to trust Georges, most especially that this is going to be her first serious relationship, she wanted trust and love to be the strongest reason for them to stay together.

Not that she is now willing but she wanted to make it last, not last for only months because of being in a relationship with a person she barely knew. They're no longer kids and they needed to know being in a serious relationship. She quickly fixes her things and wanted to take a long bath to clear her mind, since it's already night time and she would be sleeping right after her shower.

Thinking about it, she was even too excited about the relationship that she is to have with Georges, believing it to be the relationship that any woman would want. She had always envied Nanaba and Mike, how they look cute together and how they had been too serious on one another. Times crossed her mind if there is still a chance of her having and experiencing the same thing that her two comrades have. Now this seems to be the chance, she finally grabbed it and do whatever it takes to prove herself being worthy of being loved.

The cold water pouring down her face was reminding her of what she had gone into. Before Georges, everything seemed to be alright. She was her normal cheery self that everybody wanted to spank due to her unconditional love for science and then at most nights, would be embraced and be surrounded by the warmth of Levi. He may be stony (even down below his stomach that Hanji swears was even harder than any part of his body and never failed to make her feel like on top of a titan's head, forgetting everything and every problem that she has on her mind) but he is also oddly cuddly and cute, and very romantic like most men does.

She hugged herself under the cold shower, missing the embraces that she and Levi had shared. She won't deny that she misses his light kisses, the feeling of his tongue on her body, tingling and electrifying her with his fingertips, pushing deeper inside of her, making her feel and remember that she is a woman with needs after all, just like him. She could still clearly remember how he would kiss her without breaking the stare that they are sharing and how she would smile warmly at him. She misses the feel of his head nestled on her chest as she endlessly play with his hair. Somehow, he had also made her feel like a very important person in his life, a trusted comrade and an important friend to confide in with his feelings, and she was happy being that person to his life.

And then she remembered the last words he tells her after telling him that she is tired of being a toy to him.

-x-

Several days continued to pass by after that scene with Georges and Hanji sworn to observe him even carefully this time, to see if he is worthy of being called a boyfriend or 'her man' to her. None of them had mentioned of what had happened but she sure can feel that he will bring that up again to remind her of her time limit.

She decided to let it go for a while. Georges has been too demanding of her time alone with him, the reason why she needed to cut some time with her other priorities and had further no control of time when she was with Georges. She admits that she always laugh and has a good time with Georges, even bring her to the local theater plays where he hugged her while they watched, laughing and then treating her with some dinner or lunch when in the streets of the village. He even brought her good clothes, helping her shop and not even getting mad if she takes time. Oddly, he was even more eager in shopping for womanly goods for her, even a few stuffs that is being add to make her look beautiful and stunning. She finds it hard to say no to him during shopping outside since he gets mad easily then will mumble things that will only want her to be deaf instead. She never liked being treated as a princess and would always be treated with things but Georges will tell her that it is wrong to say no to him when he is giving something to her and she should know how to accept things form him freely without any questions raised, and that it was an annoying habit of hers, to always say no to him. For her part, she just didn't liked being spoiled too much, she's not really much that kind or type.

She did even wondered if he is being allowed by Mike to go out most of the time with her but when she sneakily talked to Mike and found out that Georges has been too abusive of that fact that the woman who fancies him back is the reason of why he goes out and missing for almost the entire day. So one fine busy day, where everyone is busy preparing themselves for another mission outside the walls, Hanji took the opportunity to talk to Mike while their squads were busy doing drills and all other important matters.

"You know Hanji, Georges has not only been gone missing during the entire morning or in the afternoon, my squad had just told me that he has been sneaking out during nights." Hanji was taken aback of what he has said and wondered if she was the reason of him being out at very late nights.

Mike pats her in her shoulder and she felt relaxed a bit. He returned the uneasy smiled that she just flashed a few seconds ago. "Look, I know you are not the reason behind his sneaky nights. We had been suspicious the very moment that I have been informed of this behaviour of his and I told Gelgar and Henning to go follow him one night and we found out that he has been into brothels and bars, drinking like there's no tomorrow."

Hanji bit her lip and tried to blink back tears, wishing that she is hearing the wrong things from Mike's mouth. But how could she? Mike never, ever told a lie to her and has no intentions of hurting her. Mike felt the sudden sadness that crawled onto Hanji's face and had nothing better to do but to hug her lightly and pats her back gently as he could. They stayed like until she felt a bit better.

"I know what you are feeling right now" he sighed as he comforts her, not used seeing her too broken over something that is not even related to titans or science or books. "We just didn't want to tell you because we don't want to hurt you or disappoint you."

After breaking apart and thanking Mike, she promised him that she is alright and that

She had been more confused right after that, of what Mike had told her. She can't believe it, never did she. She left Mike with uncoordinated footsteps, heading back to her own squad, slightly looking at Georges with his squad.

-x-

Three days after what Mike had told her and she had been more suspicious of Georges, wondering if he still sees other woman at night outside the HQ or as to why he is sneaking in such a very late night. She knows that she hasn't officially accepted his offer to be his woman but if he is interested to her, she believes that she has the right to know about his interest every night.

Acting like usual in their breakfast together, he doesn't smelled anything like beer or alcohol he does looked like tired, like the past days, as though he lacked sleep. Those black circular bags under his eyes were even smudged over by some kind of powder or something else, as though it is being hidden.

"You seemed like you need more sleep, Georges" she said and smiled warmly at him.

He smiled back and gently caressed her hand, making her feel uneasy seeing how he oddly looked like. "Of course, I can't stop thinking about you and if we would finally be together, my love" He yawned and took a few bread inside his mouth. "I really wanted you for eternity."

Hanji snorted in disgust in the inside, she fears that if he sees her acting disgusted over him, he would nag about her and how woman are irritating naggers. But deep inside, she knew why, why he had been continuously yawning everyday, acting as though he lacks of sleep. She remembered Mike even mentioning how he refused to do laundry together with them, most probably he is hiding something that shouldn't be found out, and she knows perfectly what it was.

The following day, he took her again outside towards the village, leaving her papers for their final meeting before their mission undone. She can't choose good proper shoes this time, halfhearted about what's going on, bothered by her unfinished business.

"Choose, you know I wanted you to look beautiful" Georges murmurs to her ears.

She looked up into his face with hazy eyes, halting her movements in choosing and trying out shoes. "I... I thought you said I am beautiful Georges"

He laughed maniacally and grabbed her hair and inched her face towards to his. "You are my love, but I want you to become more beautiful if you are to become my woman."

She looked away and returned to look down to the shoes that she is trying like. It was silly looking, its colors hideous and not pleasing for her but Georges insisted for her to try it, so she did. "Oh and yeah" he yelled out for her as he took out another box of shoes for her to try on. "I want everyone who knows me to instantly recognize you as a woman with grace and finesse, not a woman who looks like a mad scientist." His eyes were mocking her, feeling as though he is insulting her for who she is and she gripped the chair under her, from where she is sitting for control.

"But I am a mad scientist" she tells him back and he only glared at her hard.

-x-

A few days before their departure for their mission, Hanji needs to prepare and finish a couple of things first and check whether her hypothesis and ideas are correct when Georges enters her lab, dismisses Moblit and helps her out. They were talking about science and advance technology, a reason why he fancied him because of his hidden desire to the same thing that she liked as well and talked about it freely like before.

But then, things changed so suddenly.

When Hanji explained her theory over the possibility of new inventions for humans to use and sources of energy where Georges didn't seemed to agree, he shut his mouth for a while and did not moved a single muscle.

"What's wrong Georges?" she asks him, placing her hand on his shoulder. When he realized that she touched his shoulder, he instantly shoved her hand away as though she is infected with some kind of horrible disease and stood up.

Hanji was surprised and gasped, looked at him with terror and disgrace in her eyes. What did she do wrong this time? She was perfectly sure and careful of what she was doing and of the every word she says, and now Georges is getting all angry at her again.

He didn't said anything and went to move towards her laboratory door. "Look, I can't seem to agree with your words over your hypothesis with the possible sources of energy for us to use, it was just plainly weird! From what was that, nucleus and protons? Suite yourself and believe your daydreams, I'm off to sleep." He muttered and scratched the back of his head in disappointment.

Hanji watched him from his back as he retreats from her room. She asks herself, with just very little things to talk over, he has to react that way and raise his voice like she is some kind of crazy talking witch?

She looked up again to him when he suddenly shouted a few words for her on his exit. "Remember how lucky you are with me for understanding and keeping up with your shit full of fantasies and ideas, Zoe. I guarantee you that no other man can do this kind of thing, amount of threshold to endure for you and your fantasies."

Her breathing suddenly changed, inhaling hard and exhaling deeply from her nose. His words were surely are painful for her to bear and to even listen to with, and she could fill her eyes slowly filling up with tears.

Georges left her alone on her lab and Hanji finds herself struggling desperately for something to hang on to, and tentatively it was her shirt that she is gripping quite hard, containing the disappointment that she kept on denying for the past days.

-x-

First,

I would like to emphasize the thought of Hanji creating energy from nucleus and protons, which we would eventually lead or the main source of nuclear energy.

Second,

This is surely a really memorable day for me so yeah, just wanted to share. A lot of unexpected things had happened.

Third,

It's our queen's birthday today! Happy birthday to our great Hanji Zoe! Long live Hanji!

Fourth,

I would like to apologize for my long and unexpected break. A lot of things had happened, exams then grades making but since everything seemed to slim down now, I finally found the time to upload this chapter!

Fifth,

I would like to thank everyone for all the support that you're giving me despite my sudden break, it was really heartwarming, as well for the kind words and your patience for waiting for my new chapter to be uploaded. I hope to upload next week as well! :D

See yah all in the next chapter! :D

Xoxo

Ladyinblack ^,^v