Author's Note:So, it would appear that I'm really bad at updating. I always post short chapters sporadically, and kind of neglect the fact that I have readers who are eagerly waiting. So, I apologize. The good news; I have resolved to finish this story this year, preferably before summer. Maybe in the next few months to come. But please, keep reviewing. I like hearing your opinions!
Fourteen
Kanaya marveled at how far she and Rose had come in just four months time. They'd gone from enemies to English class partners to friends to girlfriends, and to be honest, Kanaya was happy. At first, getting closer to Rose had been an internal struggle for her. She was trying to decide if all of that preaching at the straight camp really could work or not and she was trying to figure out if she was willing to be unhappy just so her mother would approve of her. And as they grew closer, she grew fearful of what might happen if it went public. She and Rose didn't go public, of course, but Kanaya found she didn't mind letting her friends know. Karkat had called it, and the others were very happy that she finally seemed happy. Even Terezi, who was colorblind, said that Kanaya seemed to glow when she talked about Rose.
So, in the weeks that followed the Halloween party, Kanaya and Rose became official girlfriends. Kanaya no longer felt apprehensive about cuddling with Rose after they finished their English class projects, which they still stayed after school to work on at least two or three times a week. Then on the weekends, she and Rose would hang out at Karkat's house, who was starting to warm up to the Lalonde girl. In just a short matter of time, everyone soon became better friends. And because of this, Kanaya felt actually happy in a way she hadn't been since before her father died.
It soon came to be Thanksgiving break and having no immediate family near them, the Maryams always spent the holidays amongst themselves. Usually this would just depress Kanaya, but not this time. When Thanksgiving Day came, and she and her sister were forced more than obligated to help their mother prepare the night's meal, but they paid her no mind. Or, rather Kanaya didn't, as Porrim and her mother kept sharing long, intense glances but Kanaya did not ask. However, she would soon see that even though she was as happy as could be, her mother could always find a way to bring her down.
The family began their meal in silence, only the sound of utensils on glass filled their ears. Kanaya ate quickly, but not too fast as to seem eager to her mother, so that way she could excuse herself to her bedroom and text Rose. But halfway through her meal, Porrim cleared her throat.
"So, Kanaya," Porrim began in a bitter tone, "Did mother tell you that I'm graduating early this year."
Kanaya did not dare answer. She knew that she had nothing to do with this. It was just Porrim's way of being bitter toward their mother about something that Kanaya had no idea about. The preacher's wife shook her head and set her fork down.
"Now, Porrim," she said, leveling her eyes with her daughters. "We discussed this. You will stay here in Meteor Falls and finish out the year. The entire year."
Her older sister laughed, pushing her long black hair behind her ear. "That's really funny, Mom. I distinctly recall that there was no discussion. I brought up the art program and you yelled at me and told me that I have to stay here."
Dolorosa's eyes widened. She swallowed and breathed in deeply, exhaling through her nose. "Then I guess there's nothing more to be said of the subject, now is there?" She looked at Kanaya, who quickly averted her eyes. She wanted no part of this fight. She was happy. She didn't want her mother to ruin it by being so cruel to her on the holidays. Yet, she couldn't help but see how much Porrim was bothered by this. She wanted to say something but she told herself to refrain. Be a good girl, Kanaya. "Kanaya, dear, pass the butter."
She began to reach for the butter but Porrim stopped her. "Kanaya, don't you dare."
"I, uh-" the younger sibling started but she was interrupted once again.
"I don't understand why you're even being like this," her sister sighed. "Do you realize how big of an opportunity this is for me? This art program is very exclusive! I can't even do it without completing my year early, and I have all of my requirements."
"Because you are not becoming some hippie liberal artist who lives in some dirty apartment building and sells her body for money. That's why," her mother spat. Despite her mother's generic evilness, even Kanaya was surprised by her words. "Artists make no money and you will go no where in life painting pictures."
"And you will never get anywhere in life if you keep being such a frigid bitch," Porrim hissed. Their mother opened her mouth to find words but she could only sit motionless. "Dad would have never let me miss a chance to chase my dreams."
And with that, Porrim left the table and grabbed her coat and keys and left the apartment above the church. Kanaya could even hear the tires screech as she pulled out of the parking lot. Silent and unsure of what to do, she shifted her eyes back to her mother. Her mother had resumed eating as if nothing had happened. She looked almost as if she were going to cry.
"Mom-"
"Don't you dare speak a word, Kanaya. Now, did I or did I not ask you to pass me the butter?" Her mother's eyes were bloodshot but she could no longer see any trace of emerging tears. Instead she saw fury, and she was afraid. She passed the butter and finished her meal in complete silence. She was even careful not to hit her fork against the plate too many times lest her mother yell at her for it. When they were done eating, Kanaya took the liberty to clear the table, put the leftovers away, and do the dishes. After she was finished, she retired to her bedroom and avoided her mother for the rest of the night.
Once she was alone in her room, she found herself glad that she had a wonderful girlfriend to text. They texted for the next several hours. And oddly enough, Kanaya made no mention of what happened at dinner. Normally, she would have told Rose because it upset her so, but this time she found herself not wanting to burden Rose with yet another rant about her mom. So instead, she just talked and joked and found that just communicating with Rose made her smile. And she was grateful. In the hours to come, she ended up falling asleep but was startled awake by the slamming of the apartment door. Within moments, she could hear voices shouting.
Curious, she crawled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The clock said that it was three in the morning but yet she could hear her sister and her mother yelling. She knew she ought to go back to bed, that none of this concerned her yet she found her feet moving before her thoughts could truly form. She was soon in the hall, peaking into the living room, making sure to stay somewhat in the shadows and out of sight. Her sister and her mother were standing across from one another, each taking turns yelling at one another.
"You cannot just leave like that, Porrim!"
"I can, actually. I'm eighteen now, mother. That's why no matter what you want, I am graduating early. I am going to study art!"
"Oh, really? And how are you going to pay for all of those classes because I sure as hell won't." Dolorosa sneered at the young woman. Porrim just rolled her eyes.
"I've been applying for scholarships for months, mother. I actually got a full ride to an art school upstate. And even if there's something I need help with, I'm moving in with Kankri. He's a decent person and is willing to help me. Unlike you," she growled. Kanaya couldn't remember a time where her sister wasn't like this. She was always so independent and challenged their mom. She would never let her squander her dreams and Kanaya couldn't help but admire that.
"So you're going to shack up with a boy to get through your life. Well, I hope he is okay with getting a disease. You sleep around like a harlot, I've heard from other parents that their kids tell them how you're a big whore," Dolorosa retorted. Porrim looked as though she was defeated. No witty or sarcastic came instantly. She faltered.
"Actually, mother, Kankri is gay. I've been best friends with a homosexual for years. I bet you just love that, don't you? The whore and the fag?" Porrim laughed at the old woman. It was the kind of laugh that only comes when you are beyond the point of anger and are venturing into madness. She just kept laughing and laughing. "You know, I don't need this. I'm eighteen now, I have some money, and I have a scholarship. I don't need you in my life."
That being said, Porrim began to put her coat back on and she was almost headed back toward the hallway where Kanaya was hidden. She took a step back but stayed close enough to hear the rest of the argument.
"And where do you think you're going, Porrim?"
"I'm leaving. For good. Moving out, if you will," Porrim said. She moved toward the hall again but scoffed and turned back. "There's just one thing that I need to tell you, Mom. You better treat Kanaya better than you do now. Okay? She's a fantastic girl but all you ever do is push your opinions down her throat. So what if she was a lesbian? I'd rather see her happy with a girl than unhappy with some guy. You only have her left, Mom. Do you realize that?"
"Porrim-"
"No," Porrim screamed. "Listen to me! Dad is dead! I'm leaving you, and you and I both know I'm not coming back. We have no family here. Kanaya is all you have left in this world and you better fucking treat her right or she will end up resenting you. And I think being resented by the only person you have to love will hurt so much more than anything I can say to you."
Porrim shuffled past Kanaya, paying her no mind. Kanaya peered around the corner, seeing her mother had now sat down with her head in her hands, black hair falling down around her. She swore she heard her mother sobbing. She was on her way back to her room when Porrim emerged and finally saw her.
"You heard all of that?"
"Most of it," Kanaya said, looking down. She wanted to say something. Don't leave. She only had three people in her life that kept her sane; Rose, Karkat, and Porrim, and now Porrim was leaving. She wanted her to stay for as long as she could, to help her through it all. But she knew that this was something her sister had to do. She'd miss seeing her at home but she'd see her at school as she finished the semester.
"I'm sorry, Kan," Porrim offered her a sad smile, and then she left. Kanaya went back to her room and crawled in bed. She shut her eyes tight and tried to sleep but sleep never came. Instead, she picked up her cell phone and called Rose. It took awhile but Lalonde finally answered.
"Kanaya? It's like four in the morning. Are you okay?" Rose didn't sound angry at all, to Kanaya's surprise. She seemed genuinely worried. She choked up.
"No," was all she could manage at that moment.
"Tell me what happened," Rose coaxed her girlfriend. And Kanaya did. She told her everything. She'd never been more grateful to have girlfriend like Rose. She was exactly the thing Kanaya needed. She hoped that they would be together for a long, long time.