So... a friend of mine and I play this game, we tell each other a few random words or phrases (genres, fandoms, everything goes) and then have a minute or two to come up with a plotline – this one I found hilarious and just had to share ;D.

Words: Teen Wolf, Zombie Apocalypse, Self Insert/OC, protagonist has to be human, cocktail cherries, demons (on a side note: cocktail cherries are really fucking creepy, they are mystical objects of love and dating, just so you know ;))

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Oneshot

Erin wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry… though out of principal she preferred crying. It always let her get rid of the tension in her body though right now neither of this seemed to be a good idea, not with the growling and snarling mass behind her. Cursing under her breath Erin sped up again, she hadn't noticed the Walkers coming down the road while she looted the bookstore for anything useful and entertaining until the last moment and then she didn't have another choice but to run instead of hide. The blonde former history teacher sprinted around the last corner of the abandoned town and finally saw the bike she had left behind there. Within moments she was up in the saddle and hightailed out of sight of the undead behind her. Only fifteen minutes later when she was slick with sweat and could barely draw a breath without the stitch in her side being unbearable she allowed herself to slow down again. Another five minutes and she had finally reached her destination. Her home, the one she had been living in for about a month now, ever since the whole mess had started. With a tired sigh Erin opened the half hidden back gate between the two tall trees and pushed her bike along the dirt road to the small house on the clearing.

The Mess like she liked to call it started with the day she decided she was desperate enough to attempt to summon a crossroad demon.

Yeah… she might have been drunk and completely, utterly at her wits' end.

Not only that she did something this stupid, no that she had actually believed it could work.

Unfortunately or maybe thankfully? it did.

Erin had just been diagnosed with young-onset ALS and it was progressing rapidly. The doctors gave her less than three years until she would die. She hadn't even turned thirty yet and then that. Some people could deal with being told that they would die but she couldn't, she wouldn't.

After the diagnosis she had been in denial for a week. Took leave from work after presenting the principal of the high school she had been working in with the results. Since then she had ignored all incoming calls and just drank herself to sleep each night.

It was the fourth day after the diagnosis, a Sunday and what she didn't realize at the time but probably saved her from the whole eternal agony thing, a full moon.

Erin burrowed made her way drunkenly into the backyard of her apartment complex to the spot where the two dirt paths crossed each other and burrowed her picture with the graveyard dirt and the bone she had taken from her deceased black cat Tom. Fat Tom that had died four years ago would hopefully forgive her for that wherever he was, cat heaven or something like that.

When the demon appeared she at first hadn't been able to process that it had actually worked… and even after the Supernatural recipe… damn.

The… woman? With the beautiful long black hair and Spanish ancestry had coyly put her head to the side and asked her what she wanted.

Erin had been long past roaring drunk or she probably would have high tailed it out of there but she hadn't and so instead she blurted out, "You are hot."

The demon in front of her seemed amused and said "Why thank you, so why have you called me."

With a sigh Erin's gaze landed on the nearly empty bottle of alcohol that had been her companion for the last few hours, "Desperation and a bottle of tequila."

The supernatural being raised an eyebrow before saying "Your sarcasm is cute but not what I meant."

Erin sighed again, "I was diagnosed with ALS, I have about three years."

"Ah, so you want to live longer."

"Something like that." Erin agreed before her eyes returned to the demons body, "So is it true what the producers of Supernatural say, do you possess human bodies? Meat suits?"

The demon snorted before she shook her head and grinned "You are an obnoxious one alright. Bravery or stupidity?"

"Stupidity of course," Erin answered while she sat down on the park bench behind her and gestured at the seat beside her "and of course the bottle of tequila." She added while she lifted up the bottle that she had sat down on said bench along with the glass of cocktail cherries she had been snacking on the whole evening.

The female demon snorted and sat down beside her and watched her seemingly contently "You are completely drunk aren't you? Now normally I would have either already sealed the deal or dismissed myself but you had the guts to summon me on a full moon so I will listen to your sorrows darling." She purred out while she softly ran her hand through Erin's blonde hair.

Erin was strangely amused by that and offered the demon the tequila bottle and the cocktail cherries. Instead of taking them instantly the demon threw her head back and laughed loudly at the moon.

"You really have no idea what you are doing sweetheart, do you?"

"Not really? Want to tell me what I just did that made you laugh or what is up with the full moon?"

"Hhm, well normally we don't actually tell this to humans because the less you know the better but I'm in a good mood so why not. You offered to share food and drink with me, that alone gives me some influence over you my dear sweet Erin. It makes it easier for me to sway you to accept my offer … additionally it is the full moon, this gives most supernatural beings a boost, I am stronger today than on any other day of the month. No real practitioner would ever summon a crossroad demon on a full moon."

"So you have less work on that day? Like your day off."

"Pretty much. So about this deal."

"I want to live my life on my terms, without the ALS…" Erin trailed off while she watched the demon take a sip of the tequila, her lips looked very enticing, "You really are a gorgeous bitch, so the question from before again, do you possess humans or is that your real form?"

The demon still looked amused and sighed while fished out a cherry from the glass and bit into the fruit.

"You are so curious… but yes this body was from a human. She traded her body and soul for twenty years of beauty, money and fidelity of her husband."

Erin hummed thoughtfully "Is the soul thing a done deal? Or do you HAVE to take my soul as payment?"

The demon raised an eyebrow at that "You are a smart cookie, even drunk. Not many ask me that, they just assume. It has to be at least an equivalent exchange on my side, the soul just happens to be the most valuable that you possess."

Erin's looked baffled at the demon and then started to giggle "Kinda makes sense you are the loan sharks of the supernatural aren't you."

"Precisely… but I won't tell you what is worth how much, make me an offer and we will see."

"I want to continue to exist, I mean my consciousness, not forever of course but I want my thoughts and mind to be untouched and in a healthy body, hell it doesn't even have to be this body. You can have that as a new suit if you want but I want to live a life."

The demons looked surprised at Erin before slowly starting to smile in a pleased expression.

"Hhm… does it have to be this universe? I could transfer your mind into another healthy body whose soul has already left but that would cost more than what you are willing to give, sending you into your dying body in a parallel universe and healing it on the other hand is easy… and I would even erase my touch on your soul so that you wouldn't automatically land in Hell."

"That's… really? Can I ask why?"

"Why it doesn't cost so much or why I'm not tainting your soul?"

"Either, both?"

"You and all of your other selves are connected even through universes and your own body can accept your soul a lot easier than another one… and well you are amusing, entertainment doesn't happen too often in my line of business. Also it's a full moon and you invited me to eat and drink with you, each minute I spend here in the world of the living I get more powerful, I feel generous today so I will consider this also a form of payment."

Erin snorted again while she watched the other woman munch on more cocktail cherries.

"You just like to stuff yourself with food and alcohol." Erin then observed.

"True." was the acknowledgment.

Erin couldn't tell why she said the next thing and later on she wondered if the demon had influenced her but she than offered "Come on, let's go up into my apartment and pig out on Junk Food. You won't vanish until we have sealed the deal will you?"

It was a surreal experience to listen to Nyx, as the Spanish looking demon introduced herself after their fifth shot while she reminiscent about former deals with stupid mortals. Erin wisely kept her mouth shut and just absorbed what she was being told. Their night ended at three in the morning when Nyx finally kissed her to seal the deal.

It was definitely a kiss worth remembering.

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When Erin awoke next she was stretched out in a backyard, lying uncomfortably while her mind tried to sort things into order.

Right, Nyx had said that she would land in the body of another self of her that had just died and that Nyx demon powers would take care of the injuries. Erin slowly got up while she carefully took in her surroundings and then what she was wearing… to be more precisely the fact that she was reeking of stale sweat and summer heat, what the hell was she a homeless in this universe? Her only belonging other than the clothes on her back, seemed to be a ratty backpack filled with some clothes and a few glasses of cocktail cherries.

A growl from somewhere to her left made her look up and answered her question, the shuffling form and the smell told Erin everything. With a curse she threw the backpack on her back and scrambled up the fire escape on the building closest to her.

She had landed smack dab in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse.

Of fucking course she did!

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Six months later

Erin was seriously getting more than a bit frustrated, for months now she had equipped her car with everything that she needed, from non perishable food to fucking potted cocktail tomatoes and carrots in the back seat and now it was all gone. Fucking cannibalistic assholes!

Erin had only escaped by the skin of her teeth and was now hiding in a half burned out house in one of the coastal cities of California. Seeing zombified surfers shuffling around the beach was really the last thing that she had ever wanted to see.

Distracted her eyes wandered over the nearly empty room, as far as she had seen most of the house that hadn't been destroyed had already been looted. She was about to leave when her eyes landed on the small side table hidden behind the giant washer dryer-combo, there was a bottle of vodka and…

Cocktail cherries.

Erin felt the hysterical laugher bubble up but couldn't stop herself from letting the animal sound out.

"Cocktail cherries, cocktail cherries. Oh my fucking GOD! Why do there always have to be cocktail cherries when this life throws me a curve ball, are they … like a plot device of the universe?"

A sound to her right let her freeze. Clamping down the need to curse Erin quickly scampered out of the room. Though not without grabbing the see through glass, plot device or not she was hungry.

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A month later

Erin stared at the high school in front of her and then at the shuffling and growling figure of what looked like a wolfed out, zombified Peter Hale fighting against Scott McCall, Derek Hale and Isaac Lahey in there beta forms, flashing eyes, claws and everything. She had not only landed in a Zombie Apocalypse but this was also a Teen Wolf Crossover.

Her life!

…

And where the fuck were her cocktail cherries?