Chapter 14: Rise Of The Ogre Part 1
At the Dark Hand headquarters, the members of the Dark Hand were looking at a blueprint and going over some the details on the sheet of paper, the entire room glowed red, letting them know that Ogre was present.
"Now, once we go through with this, we cannot make any errors, we must get the talismans from Section 13 by any means necessary," said Steve.
"So make sure you bumbling fools get it together, I do not like the fact that the only talisman we have we got by sheer luck, so get your acts together!" bellowed Ogre.
"Janitor cleans up puke!" shouted Paul.
Without any further delay, the Dark Hand all ran out of their base and headed off to do whatever dastardly deed they had planned for the Lei Team. Meanwhile, back at Wang's antique shop, the Lei Team was spending the day relaxing since they had got most of the talismans and decided they could finally take a break.
"Ah, it feels good not having to run around to find anymore talismans, pretty much all of them are safe and sound at Section 13," remarked Lei as he reclined on a sofa.
"Aint that the truth, and since the Dark Hand is so dim witted, I don't think we have to worry about them getting to the talismans," added Asuka.
"Yeah, they are pendejos all right," said King.
"Well, I don't think we should spend all our free time sitting around here vegitating," piped up Raven.
"Ai ya, I no vegetable, I not found in produce aisle of supermarket," cried out Wang.
"We know that, he just means we shouldn't waste our time off here," said Ganryu who was busy eating a giant turkey sub.
"I agree, can't stay couped up in your shell forever you old turtle," spoke Xiaoyu.
"Yeah, it's a beautiful Saturday ripe for enjoying," added Lei.
"Oh, it's Saturday, well then, you know what I'm off to do after I check on things at Section 13. Anyone wanna join me?" asked Raven.
"Hell no!" responded the rest of the Lei Team in unison.
"Besides, Raven, where the hell are you gonna find wild animals in San Francisco?" asked Asuka.
"I'll just take the Section 13 chopper back to Africa if I have to," answered Raven.
"No offense, but I'd prefer to go hunting fully clothed, don't want a lion biting off my meat," said Lei.
"Suit yourself, because I'll be un0suiting myself as soon as I touchdown on the fields of the savannah," retorted Raven.
"Ok, I'm going out to get me some lunch before I lose it completely," grumbled King as he walked out of the antique shop.
"I'll come with you, food sound good right about now," said Ganryu as he followed King to wherever he was going.
"Like he really needs to get any fatter, anyways, I feel like going shopping, Lei you wanna come see me try on lingerie?" asked Asuka.
"No way, he wants to see me try on lingerie!" shouted Xiaoyu.
"I'm fine either way, it's all good to me," said Lei.
"Come on Lei, let's go while the day is still young," said Asuka as she grabbed Lei and pulled him outside.
"Ai ya, my day never young, when you old man, it always same old thing day in day out," cried out Wang.
"Whatever, see you later Wang, enjoy whatever it is you do," called out Lei as he left.
"Hey, don't think you can hog him all to yourself Asuka!" yelled Xiaoyu as she followed Asuka out.
"Oh well, I go get donuts and coffee, that's what keeps me going, it's also the gasoline for cops," said Wang to himself as he walked off towards the nearest donut shop and locked the door behind him. Unbeknownst to him, the Dark Hand was hiding in a dumpster spying on the Lei Team as they left the antique shop.
"Ah, so our little Lei Team is letting their guard down and leaving their rears exposed," snickered Steve.
"I hope they drop the soap so we can violate them," said Lee.
"For once, I'll have to agree with what you said," replied Steve.
"So, how do you propose we approach this?" asked Hwoarang.
"We'll split up, I'll wait back at the headquarters, Dragunov, take care of Raven at Section 13, hopefully you grew some brain cells during this time," grumbled Steve.
"But thirteen is an unlucky number boss," cried Dragunov.
"That's just a stupid superstition, now get going!" barked Steve.
Dragunov hopped out of the dumpster ran off to where Section 13 was as Steve turned back to the rest of the Dark Hand
"Hwoarang, you go deal with King and Ganryu, make sure that they have their last meal," ordered Steve.
"I don't wanna deal with Ganryu, he'll fart on me," cried out Hwoarang.
"Take this with you, and this too to protect your groin," said Stevve giving Hwoarang and cup for his groin and a gas mask."
"All right, I'm on it then boss," said Hwoarang as he sped off to wherever King and Ganryu were having lunch at.
"Lee, you go take care of the two girls and Lei, go make them unfabulous," ordered Steve.
"You got it boss, Lei will get a stool pushing that he'll never forget," called out Lee as he skipped off to where Lei, Asuka, and Xiaoyu were shopping at.
"And Paul, take of that old fart, give him a heart attack that'll put him to bed permanently," said Steve.
"Old fogey falls and breaks hip!" yelled Paul as he leapt out of the dumpster and sped towards the donut shop that Wang was at.
"Now to just wait patiently at the base and give Ogre those talismans once my team hopefully gets the job done," cackled Steve as he leapt out of the dumpster and headed back to the Dark Hand headquarters. Meanwhile, at a Mexican Food restaurant deep in San Francisco. King and Ganryu were having a contest as to who could eat the most bean burritos. Both were pretty much even. The waitress brought out another plate of giant burritos and placed it on Ganryu and King's table.
"Are you ready to give up little baby jaguar?" asked Ganryu in a mocking tone.
"No way manteca culo (lard ass), I'm gonna smoke you good homes," replied King.
King and Ganryu prepared to stuff their burritos into their open mouths, but out of the corner of their eyes, they saw somone rush at them. Both jumped back as Hwoarang jumped forward and kicked their table, shattering it completely.
"Great, here comes the indigestion," grumbled King as he glared at Hwoarang.
"And this time, I came prepared for all your little tricks, so come get some," taunted Hwoarang and he adjusted his gas mask.
"Bring it la cucaracha!" shouted King.
Both King and Ganryu walked towards Hwoarang, some Jack-5s appeared to assist Hwoarang. The robots punched both Ganryu and King in their stomachs.
"Uh oh, I feel funny," moaned Ganryu as he felt his stomach gurgle.
"Me too amigo," said King as his stomach acids also gurgled within him.
At that time, both Ganryu and King released loud and pungent farts. The combined odious stench of both King and Ganryu's farts caused everyone in the restaurant to faint, the stench even seeped through Hwoarang's gas mask.
"AAAAAAH! My nose, the gas mask, it does nothing!" screamed Hwoarang as he fainted from the foul odor lingering in the air.
"Ah, that's much better," sighed Ganryu.
"Chill out dickwad," beeped a Jack as a group of Jacks put King and Ganryu in a sleeper hold and put the two to sleep.
"Take them to headquarters," beeped another Jack as the began to tie up King and Ganryu and carry them off along with the unconscious Hwoarang. Over at the donut shop, Wang was busy enjoying his donuts and coffee.
"Ah, nothing better than a nice hot cup of coffee and a warm donut," said Wang as he stirred his coffee and sipped away at it.
"Spilled coffee scalds victim!" yelled Paul.
"Ah, it's the blowhard, why you follow me here?" asked Wang.
"Truant officer takes kid back to school!" shouted Paul.
"I aint no kid, and one more thing, respect your elders!" yelled Wang.
"Old lady gets shoved into street!" shouted Paul as a Jack materialized behind Wang and gripped him tightly to where he couldn't break the robot's grip.
"Ai ya, put me down, I being kidnapped, wait I not kid, I being senior-napped!" cried out Wang.
"Robber flees from scene of crime!" shouted Paul as he hopped on a Jack and they flew away from the donut shop with Wang in tow. At a shopping mall in San Francisco, Lei sat in a lingerie store waiting for Asuka and Xiaoyu to come out of the fitting room.
"Ah, isn't this the sweet life," said Lei as he reclined in a chair.
"Yeah, I saw you with those two, you're a very lucky man," said a man who walked up to Lei. He was about the same height and build as Lei. The man had long blonde hair in a ponytail and was wearing a red and white hat, a red vest with a white T-shirt, blue jeans and red sneakers.
"And who are you?" asked Lei.
"My name is Terry Bogard, I come regularly to pick up chicks, there are some hotties here that you wouldn't imagine," answered Terry.
"Yeah, that's the truth, but I'm happy with the girls I have," remarked Lei.
"That's good, you don't wanna get to greedy now," replied Terry.
"Oh Lei, I'm ready, how does this look on me?" asked Asuka who came out in a skimpy black lace bra and a black thong, who did a little turn to where Lei could see her perfectly round rump.
"I'm liking the view, if that's saying anything," said Lei.
"Heh, then you'll like this view better," commented Xiaoyu as she stepped out of her fitting room. She was wearing a red bra and a red thong and both Lei and Terry looked over as Xiaoyu smacked her butt.
"I do like that as well, we're getting a good double feature if I do say so myself," commented Lei.
"I agree wholeheartedly," added Terry.
Just then, Lee burst out of a dressing room in a purple bra and panties, causing all the customers and employees to cover their eyes in disgust.
"Please, get dressed in some normal attire you freak!" yelled a female employee.
"Oh shut up, you're just angry cuz you can't look as hot as me," said Lee as he ordered a Jack to smack the employee that raised a complaint. The Jack complied instantly and hit the female knocking her to the ground.
"Hey, that's just wrong you chauvanistic bastard!" yelled Lei.
"So what, I'll do it again, and you can't stop me," said Lee.
"Wanna bet Mr. Queer Eye," said Lei as he darted towards Lee. However, a group of Jacks materialized behind Asuka and Xiaoyu and judo chopped them across the neck knocking them out cold, Lei whirled around to see that and leapt at the Jacks ready to attack. But one of the Jacks grabbed a mannequin and swung at Lei knocking him out of the sky and rendering him out cold.
"No one better try to stop us, otherwise this all comes off!" shouted Lee pointing to his outfit.
"Okay! Just get out of here please, you're traumatizing us!" cried Terry who had his hands over his eyes.
"See ya later you fashionless fools!" said Lee as he and the Jacks flew away with Lei, Asuka, and Xiaoyu all unconcious and in their custody. Meanwhile, Terry went to go check on the female that was smacked around by the Jack.
"Are you okay?" asked Terry. However a strange power welled up in Teery as he said those words.
"Buster Wolf!" screamed Terry unleashing a huge surge of energy and sending the woman flying off into the distance.
"Ah shit," grumbled Terry as he left the mall.. Back at Section 13, Raven was preparing his equipment for his Satuday hobby and was nearly done getting everything ready.
"Blowgun, check! Blowdarts, check, suntan lotion, check. Ok, I'm good to go, time to get back to my roots," said Raven as he prepared to board a chopper to Africa. As Raven walked by the area where the talismans were, A giant explosion blew the vault door open and sent Raven flying back.
"Oh shit, someone's trying to steal the talismans! I better warn the others and then hold off whatever thieves may be in there!" exclaimed Raven.
"No need to warn your friends, we already have them all in our grasp!" retorted Dragunov as he walked out of the vault with a group of Jacks.
"How the hell did you get in there without the rest of the Dark Hand, you're and idiot," remarked Raven.
"The Jacks have artificial intelligence however, and since there's more of them then there are of me, that offsets my lack of intelligence," answered Dragunov.
"Well, that doesn't matter none, I'll still kick your ass from here to next Saturday!" shouted Raven.
Unbeknownst to Raven, a Jack took Raven's blowgun and shot a tranquilizer dart at Raven, hitting him in the neck and knocking Raven unconscious.
"Ah, motherfucker stole my blowgun," mumbled Raven drowsily as he slipped into unconsiousness.
"Whee, I did it, I did something right, now big Stevie will be happy with me, slap hands Jack, slap hands!" cheered Dragunov.
"Slapping the hands!"beeped a Jack as he gave Dragunov a high five with such force that it knocked him back.into a wall, another Jack picked up Dragunov as they grabbed all the talismans from their case and then flew off with the incapacitated Raven with them. Back at the Dark Hand headquarters, Steve and Ogre were patiently waiting for the rest of the Dark Hand to return, well, then again, Steve was the only one being patient.
"I swear Steve, your henchmen are slower than a snail's excrement!" yelled Ogre.
"Hold on Ogre, they should be here any minute now," replied Steve.
"I don't want theme here at any minute, I want them here at THIS minute!" bellowed Ogre.
"Keep your shorts on, we're back!" announced Lee as the members of the Dark Hand all descended into the building and all the Jacks threw the incapacitated Lei Team into the center of the room.
"Whoa, you guys did it, I guess the Jacks AI upgrade did come in handy," gasped Steve.
"Yes, but you still must work on the ineptitude of your cronies, we only got them because of the Jack's highter AI," hissed Ogre.
"We still got them nonetheless, but Dragunov, hopefully you didn't have a brain fart and forget the talismans," said Steve.
"Don't worry boss, I put a plug on my brain's anus and remembered to get them this time," replied Dragunov holding up a brown sack. Steve snatched the sack from Dragunov's hands and looked inside the sack to find the eleven talismans that the Lei Team had stowed away in Section 13. At that moment, the members of the Lei Team began to awaken.
"Oh, my head, what happened?" asked Asuka.
"Ai ya, I have major headache, where is my Tylenol!" moaned Wang.
"Guys, I don't think we're anywhere near the antique shop," piped up Lei.
"Welcome to our lair Lei Team, you woke up just in time to witness the awakening of Ogre, soon he will have all his power back and then the world is screwed up the poop shoot!" cackled Steve.
"Like we're gonna let that happen puto!" snapped King.
"Oh, but we have all twelve talismans now, and all that's left is to place them in that statue right there and Ogre lives again," retorted Hwoarang pointing at a statue of a warrior with a horned helmet, armored shorts and a gold shield.
"You think we're stupid enough to sit around here, let's get them guys!" shouted Ganryu.
"Movie watcher hits pause!" shouted Paul as him and the Jacks swarmed the Lei Team and all the Jacks opened their chest compartments and placed their fingers near a red button.
"Try anything funny and we blow ourselves up, making you go kablooey as well!" beeped a Jack.
"Enough already, give me the talismans now!" screamed Ogre.
Steve started taking the talismans out of the sack and around the base of the statue were twelve grooves for each talisman to fit into. Steve started sticking the talismans into the grooves as the Lei Team watched on in horror. As Steve placed the last tlaisman into the statue's base, all the talismans glowed white and then turned into beams of light and went straight into the statue. The eyes of the statue glowed a blood red as it slowly began to move.
"I live!" roared Ogre as he began to come to life.
"Ai ya, this is a very bad day for planet Earth!" screamed Wang.
"Yes, today is the day that a new world order will take place, everyone will bow before their new king, the almighty Ogre!" hissed Ogre as he raised his arms triumphantly and cackled maniacally.
"Shit, we gotta find a way to stop this takeover from happening, but how?" grumbled Lei to himself.
To be continued
Ask Lei segment
"Hey Lei," pipes up some little kid.
"Yes?" asked Lei.
"Do you like monster movies?" asked the kid.
"Some are all right, but a lot of them are cheesy. But I've seen some crazy monsters myself throughout my life like Ogre of course and Jinpachi Mishima. Now I know the second one I said may have been human, but he sure looked monstrous," answered Lei.
"Ok thank you," said the kid.
"Godzilla rules!" shouted Lei.
Author's Note: Yep, Ogre lives! How will the Lei Team be able to stand up to this threat, you'll find out in the next chapter as a big battle with Ogre will take place then. But the fic won't end there, no way, I've still got a ways to go before I decide to end this fic. And by the way, I hope King of Fighters fans liked seeing Terry Bogard make an appearance. Anyways, I'm off to work on the big fight with Ogre. Until then though, please read and review.