'Okay, deep breaths… take deep breaths, you can do this, you need to do this, Nagisa needs you.'
Tamao drew in a sharp intake of breath, nodding her head in assurance before rushing into the hospital, elbowing the doors out of her way.
She was acting purely on instinct now, the need to find and protect her friend possessing her every desire and action, driving her on as she frantically searched the hospital wards.
She briefly remembered a nurse giving her directions but her words had only processed as a jumbled mess and blurred into an incoherent memory.
She ran for what felt like hours, passing other patients, professionals and visitors alike. Some tried to speak to her, but for the majority of her frenzy people watched on; her palpable distress pulling at their heart strings.
Then she was there.
She caught sight of a flash of red hair out of the corner of her eye in one of the sectioned off rooms. Whirling around she almost barged into the door before fear began to creep into her very being, peering around the door she couldn't help but gasp at the sight she beheld.
There was Nagisa, motionless and seemingly lifeless; the only way the bluenette could tell that her friend and secret crush was still alive was the barely visible flutter of her chest taking shallow breaths.
Cuts and bruises marred the red head's face whilst her hair was pulled back into a visible tangled mess. With that her stomach began to churn drastically and her face visibly paled.
She ran, barely registering her movements until she was crouched over a toilet upheaving the contents of her stomach. Slumping back onto the floor she let the tears begin to fall as her parched throat croaked out harsh sobs.
She ran a shaky hand through her hair and tried to contemplate her current situation and how best to get her friend the care she needed. Realisation gradually began to dawn accompanied by the bile which once more began to rise up her throat.
After she'd finally emptied the contents of her stomach once more, she pulled out her phone and dialled a number she wished she'd never have to.
As the phone began to ring she was unable to stop the tears cascading down her face or the guilt that had a firm grip on her heart.
The red head breathed in deeply as she revelled in her new found freedom, taking her first steps from the hospital door with a side splitting grin plastered across her face.
"You don't have to look so happy about it you know."
She glanced to her side to see the smirk adorning the silver haired woman's face, the same woman who had an arm wrapped around her waist and was consistently fussing over her wellbeing.
"Anyone would have thought that you wanted to get rid of me…"
She could have sworn she saw a flash of hurt cross the elder woman's face before it was quickly covered with a light, joking tone.
"Well it means I have to put up with your whining on my own now."
"Humph"
"See, you're even doing it now…" The silver haired woman smirked and supressed a chuckle at the now indignant expression her companion was wearing, leaning down to kiss the tip of her nose and just breathing in everything that was Nagisa.
The teasing and light banter was merely a façade and the elder woman couldn't contain her happiness that Nagisa was finally leaving the hospital, safe and relatively healthy. The woman was still wrapped in bandages and adorning many a cut or bruise. However she'd been extremely lucky and avoided any major medical mishap and for that alone Shizuma was thankful.
"Come on you little dare devil, let's get you home and out of the cold."
"YAYA-CHAN!"
"Oh for the love of-" the brunette huffed indignantly before storming over to her pinkette girlfriend "What?"
Tsubomi whirled around, and at the tears stains trailing her face Yaya's irritation faltered, melting almost completely as she quickly wrapped the younger woman in her arms
"Hey, why are you crying? What's wrong?"
"It's all going wrong!"
"What's going wrong?" The brunette furrowed her brow in confusion contemplating what could possibly have gone wrong in the immaculate and precise planning organised by her slightly tyrannical girlfriend.
"The entire thing!" Tsubomi huffed, flailing her arms around to prove her point and pouting dramatically for emphasis.
Yaya sighed, observing her little moment before grabbing a hold of her hand and pulling her in the direction of the isolated kitchen ignoring the demanding requests to 'let go' which were now being hurled at her.
As soon as the door was closed and she'd checked that the room was in fact empty, she promptly set about silencing the pinkette, crashing their lips together as she pushed the younger woman against the wall.
"No one go in the kitchen, they're at it like rabbits in there." A vulgar and imposing tone of voice reached their ears, swiftly accompanied by a bout of cackling.
Yaya growled in frustration against her lovers lips, earning her a barely supressed whimper in response.
"Come on, we best get back out there; but for the record everything is perfect." Yaya winked before swiftly grabbing her girlfriend's hand once more and leading them back into the fray.
"Nagisa." A soft voice cooed into her ear causing her to stir from a deep slumber.
"5 more minutes…"
The red head shifted from her original position, wrapping the covers tighter around her body and nuzzling her face further into the pillow. A peaceful demeanour fell over the room momentarily, well until dextrous fingers began to probe the unmoving woman eliciting sharp giggles and pleas to stop.
"Stop! Stop, okay I'm awake. I'm awake."
"About time…" the silver haired temptress smirked, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to the younger woman's lips, withdrawing before anything further could occur.
"Now get up and get dressed."
"Why? We've only been back for about an hour?" It was true, the pair had only arrived back at Nagisa's apartment an hour beforehand and much to the red headed partner's disgust she'd been ordered to rest.
"I want to show you something."
"Show me what?"
"Ah, you'll just have to wait and see."
"but…"
"Nope, now go get dressed."
Nagisa scowled before dragging herself off the bed and in the direction of the bathroom, shutting the door harder than was necessary to make her slight irritation known.
Quickly removing the articles of clothing wrapped around her she approached the shower, turning it on and waiting momentarily for the water to heat up.
There was a dull ache resonating throughout her body, but due to the haze of sleep still surrounding her conscious the red head pushed it away, stepping quickly into the shower.
"OW!"
The warm torrent of water cascaded over her body, causing already painful injuries to sting tenfold. The bandages she'd forgotten about were now a sodden mess clinging uncomfortably to her body as her legs gave way from shock.
The door banged open as a bewildered Shizuma ran into the room almost instantly, her eyes locking on the dishevelled and shivering form curled up on the floor under the shower. Rushing over she turned the shower off and jumped over the red head, shielding her body from the last few drops of water that threatened to invade the other woman's space.
"Nagisa…"
There was no reply, so Shizuma did the only thing she could think of in that moment and wrapped her arms around she shivering woman in front of her, gently pulling her closer and whispering soft words of encouragement into her ear to calm her.
"Shh, come on let's get you out of here and dry."
Securing her hands around the red heads waist, Shizuma hoisted her gently up off the floor; grabbing a nearby towel to encase the woman she held onto.
Slowly, she began to rub soothing circles into her back, all the while running the towel over her body and inching them back towards the bedroom as Nagisa whimpered and sniffed back tears.
"It's alright; you're going to be okay." She cooed as she gently began to unravel the drenched bandages slowly revealing the slightly red expanse of skin marred with dark hues and cuts. Holding back the gasp lodged in her throat, she continued to softly reassure the other woman before rushing in search of clean bandages.
Upon returning she swiftly set about re-bandaging Nagisa, intently focusing on the task as opposed to the distraught look on her face.
"Shizuma…"
Ignoring the almost silent whimper, Shizuma hurriedly finished with the bandages and ran in search of some loose fitting clothes, desperately trying to block out the despair and helplessness currently coursing through her system.
Grabbing a loose fitting, pale blue dress she hurried back towards the bed, frowning slightly before going back in search of underwear.
"Shizuma… I'm-"
"Here's your clothes, I'll just go wait outside the room whilst you change." Shizuma abruptly cut off, turning her gaze in avoidance and heading towards the bedroom door.
"I'm sorry."
She paused, arm out stretched and reaching for the door handle when she heard the submissive comment, her heart beginning to shatter at the lonely and broken tone it was spoken in.
Taking a deep breath she retracted her hand and turned around slowly finally locking eyes with the deep brown ones across the room.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's my fault for not realising what would hap-"
"No Shizuma. It's not your fault so don't blame it on yourself, if anything I'm the one to blame."
"Nagis-"
"No."
Shizuma sighed deeply and ran a hand through her hair in a display of frustration and despair before tentatively approaching the red head. Trying to erase the image of a broken Nagisa from her mind, she wrapped her arms once more around the younger woman, nuzzling gently against her neck.
"I love you Nagisa, I just… panicked." She whispered, afraid to break the moment they were now encased within.
"I'm not going to break Shizuma." Was the hushed response, both mutually agreeing that their current situation was far too fragile to be spoken with crass, loud words; afraid that the opportunity would be lost forever.
"You nearly did, I-I nearly lost you Nagisa- no amount of begging for forgiveness would have brought you back to me."
"I'm still here though Shizuma."
"But you nearly weren't, Nagisa you could have died."
"Shizuma…"
"No, Nagisa. I couldn't do anything to protect you, I still can't. I can't lose you, I just can't." Shizuma's voice slightly cracked as the sudden whirlwind of emotions began to take a toll, the silent tears sliding down her face testament to this.
"You aren't going to lose me Shizuma."
Upon hearing the admission, Shizuma finally brought her face in front of the red heads before swiftly pressing a chaste kiss to her lover and mumbling against her lips. "I love you Nagisa, I love you so much."
"Tamao?"
"Go away Sophia, I want to be on my own."
Tamao turned her body slightly, emphasising the fact that conversation -in her opinion- was now officially over.
"I know it's difficult for you…"
"You don't know anything!" The bluenette whirled around aggressively, glaring as she crossed her arms and stared the blonde down.
"I know more than you think…"
"Go on then, enlighten me. What am I thinking?" the spiteful, cold tone was like a proverbial slap across the face to Sophia, who winced slightly.
"You love her… it's so obvious in the way you look at her, you instantly soften around her-"
"So?"
"- but she doesn't love you back, you're there for her time and time again, but she keeps choosing Shizuma, no matter how many times my cousin hurts her."
"I don't need to listen to this!" The bluenette turned and began to walk away, frustratingly aware of the blonde following close behind.
Said blonde continued to speak in a soft, reproachful tone as she continued to disperse her opinion. "Shizuma broke up with her all those years ago so she ran. From my cousin, from you, from everyone and that hurts you more than you'll ever let her know. She left you without a second thought despite how much she knows you care for her-"
Tamao tried and failed to supress her sobs as her lungs began to burn and her heart began to ache.
"- After all this time, you clung onto your feelings for her, hoping that one day you'd meet again and that this time you'd be good enough, but it didn't happen did it? She still chose Shizuma and so did you. You had your chance to be there for her 100% but instead you contacted my cousin, let my cousin care for her, why?"
Sophia didn't get a response from the distraught bluenette as she continued to walk away rapidly, obviously trying to rid herself of the blonde.
"I think… you've finally realised and accepted that Nagisa won't return your affections, I think you realised this a long time ago, but for pasts sakes you're afraid to let go. You're scared, you're-"
"Stop it, why are you doing this to me?"
Sophia reached out, twirling Tamao around and looking up into her eyes. "Because I want to help you, you're hurting and it isn't good for you. You're torturing yourself when deep down you know you should move on, that you should have moved on by now. You want someone to care and are latching onto the first person you had proper feelings for when you know it isn't meant to be."
"Why? Why are you bothered about me?"
"I'm bothered about you because no one deserves to feel like that, you deserve better and so do they, it's not fair on any of you. You know all of this Tamao-Chan, but for some reason you're refusing to acknowledge it."
"How did you work out my feelings?"
The blonde let out a slight chuckle before continuing; "Because I happen to be quite adept at understanding emotions-" Tamao scoffed, details of Sophia's involvement in recent issues regarding Nagisa and Shizuma floating to mind. "- When I'm not angry and jealous may I add."
"About that…"
"I had my reasons Tamao, although it wasn't necessarily my best thought out plan, I was angry, hurt and upset."
"… so why did you try to ruin what they had?"
"One; I thought Shizuma didn't deserve to be happy. Two; I thought Shizuma was cheating on Nagisa and after meeting her, decided she deserved better than that. Three; I blamed Shizuma for personal issues, which was why I thought she didn't deserve happiness, and Four; I don't go out of my way to support people who I deem to have gone out of their way to hurt me, I'm not a pushover."
"What made you change your mind?"
"I realised I was over-reacting. I was hurt and tried to place the blame on someone who didn't deserve it. I realised the situation at hand and realised my own mistake in assumption; they're happy together, and Shizuma cares more for Nagisa than you probably think."
"What am I meant to do then?" Tamao mumbled, barely audibly as she ducked her head, staring rather intently at the ground, trying to alleviate some of the dull ache in her heart.
Sophia's eyes softened drastically as she reached out and cupped the bluenettes shoulder reassuringly; "That I'm afraid is up to you, I can't tell you what to do, only advice you."
With a quick squeeze to the shoulder Sophia turned and began to walk away, giving the other woman a chance to process her thoughts and come to a conclusion.
"Thank you… Sophia."
Note:
Heyyy! (:
So first I'd just like to say; Happy Christmas to everyone who reads 'Looking Towards Tomorrow', I hope you have a fantastic day. (: Then for anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas; I hope you have a fantastic day, week, month, and year as well. (: (Though I guess that applies to everyone; ah I hope you all have a good week regardless. (: )
Thank you to anyone who's Read/Reviewed/Added to Favourites/Story Alerted 'Looking Towards Tomorrow' as always it makes my day. (:
I do not own Strawberry Panic.
Becky. xx