How to drive Thorn crazy in 22 steps

Disclaimer: I do not own Eragon because if I did you would be reading this in the book; not on this

1) Ask how it's like to have a hot guy for a Rider

2) Talk about types of roses

3) When he asks why you're talking about roses, say: Well…you could just tell me what rose thorn you're named after…but what's the fun in that?

4) Tell him he looks like a chicken that fell in red paint

5) Ask if he's worried that Saphira could end up with the other dragon egg instead of him

6) When he's coming back from a hunting trip, wait 'til he is about a hundred feet away and then scream: the apocalypse! It's coming! It's raining balls of fire! Aaaaaahhhhhhh!

7) Proceed screaming and running, while convincing others to follow your example, causing mass chaos, while Thorn is still flying towards you.

8) Stop screaming and point accusingly to Thorn.

9) Say: Wait…false alarm…it's just a red chicken…

10) Sigh, turn to the others that were panicking and say: you can stop now…it was just the dragon who was trying to make us all panic and eventually kill each other so Galbatorix can blame the Varden and get them in trouble.

11) Turn to Thorn and scold: bad Thorn, bad! No roses for you!

12) Proceed to swat his nose with a rolled newspaper and walk away.

13) Hide behind a tree and record/laugh at all the dirty looks that the people now give Thorn.

14) Tickle him…if he's not ticklish…poke him until he gets annoyed

15) Exist

16) Force him to take you for a joyride (threaten to spray-paint him with rainbow colors in his sleep if he doesn't)

17) Spray-paint him with rainbow colors when he sleeping anyways

18) Decorate a room with skimpy men shirts that are glittery and low-cut necks. You know…the ones that we want Murtagh (and Eragon ({bleh}) to wear

19) Lock Thorn in the room

20) Play: I'm too sexy for my shirt

21) Put said song on repeat

22) Blame Saphira fans (no offense to said Saphira fans, ya'll got revenge for Saphira's bikini incident)

Sorry for the long update…its hard trying to annoy a dragon that you don't really know anything about XD

Loves-emo-guys-with-hair :3