Chapter 14

Two weeks had passed since Olivia arrived at the Chambers' house and the longer she stayed the more she began to enjoy her new life. She even found herself enjoying Billy's company far more than she ever did when they were on the trail and when they were working together in D.C. At first, she thought it was because she knew no one else; however, after dinner last Friday, she began to think otherwise. As Olivia worked in the garden, she recalled the conversation they had over dinner:

"Olivia, I really do think that life is full of second chances in many areas, don't you agree?" Billy asked with a smirk on his face.

Olivia tilted her head and with a smirk replied, "Yes, I do agree with that Billy. However, to me, whether or not it is deserving of second chances is completely dependent upon the situation. Do you agree with that?"

Billy smiled but countered with his reply, "No, not really because that brings emotions into play and since I'm a factual man I believe all situations can be do-overs when based on facts and the rationale of facts only. Otherwise, it all becomes circumstantial."

"You do have a good point there with the facts, but in what situation would no emotions come into factor when deciding to do a do-over? I would think all situations have an element where emotions must come into play."

"Well, I can think of one," Billy said confidently.

Olivia said nothing but tilted her head, giving him an invitation to give her a situation where emotions play no part in it.

"I say we have a do-over dance. We wouldn't have to do a do-over dance if Mellie left us alone instead of interrupting us the first time. And let's face it, I do believe there were no emotions involved in the dance, so it should be a fitting situation. So, would you give me the pleasure of having a second dance?"

Olivia recalled him moving around the eight-seat dinner table to reach for her hand for a dance. She obliged him and stood to dance with him. At first, it was nice to be touched by someone. She almost forgot what it felt like to feel another person. Living here made her feel so alone, especially since Fitz was not around. Olivia began to think about the last time Fitz touched her. A tear fell from her eye. Oh how she missed his touch, his caress, his lips – him.

"Hey, what are the tears about?" Olivia finally realized that Billy stopped the dance and was looking at her with concern. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Did I hold you too tight? Olivia, why are you crying?"

Billy's questions were more thought-provoking than comforting to Olivia. Why was she crying? Is it that she really missed Fitz? Was it the song that was playing? What was it that she was happy to have that interaction with someone? Olivia couldn't put a finger on why she had tears but what she did know was that she wanted to continue dancing.

Olivia finally spoke, "Billy? Can we continue dancing?"

Olivia wanted to reassure him that she was fine and that she must have been slightly emotional over another person's touch.

"I'm ok. It's just been so long since…since…since I've been touched by someone. Sometimes, I get so lonely here. I'm thankful for your generosity and your willingness to let me stay here, but not having anyone to hug or hold my hand or share a space with can be overwhelming at times. It makes me miss home a little bit more. Don't get me wrong, I love it here. It's just…sometimes, I miss home and it's…comforts."

Olivia's words were barely above a whisper by the end of the sentence and it was just enough to make Billy want to take her into his arms and make love to her. But he settled for a hug instead. He felt it was best for him to just hug her – to let her feel the body of another human in a non-sexual way. He knew she thought him to be a scum bucket when he was back in D.C., but with her staying here, he wanted to show her that there was another side to him; a side that proves he could be the man of her dreams if only she'd give him the opportunity. Billy opened his arms and there Olivia cried on his shoulders, placing her sobs deep into his neck. For Olivia, this was comfort. For Billy, this was heaven.

For a while, they stayed in a standing embrace. When Billy saw that she was becoming restless, he asked one of the staff members to resume playing the music. As the music began to play, Billy began to sway them to the melody. The more he swayed, the better Olivia felt. The song came to the chorus and she lifted her head off of his shoulder and looked him in his eyes. There was something about Billy – something that she did not notice before. His eyes reflected compassion, concern and care. Billy actually cared for her; for more than just her body. He cared for her mind, her emotions, and her heart. Her heart. She gave Fitz her heart a long time ago, yet here was this man who still cared for it despite the fact it was in the palm of another. Another who has held on to it for years and had yet to treat it with the dignity and respect it deserved and it was all because he was still married.

Olivia began to feel herself tense up. While it was not because of Billy and this atmosphere, it was because of her feeling that she may have missed the boat when it came to Billy. Some woman will live in this incredibly beautiful house and with this caring man one day and I'll still be waiting on Fitz to get a divorce. Why didn't I consider Billy before? Sure, he always came around me like a dog in heat but why didn't I look past that to see this side of him? Was I so caught up in Fitz that I couldn't see another possibility? Olivia gently shook her head as if to shake away the thoughts that were forming in her mind. Thoughts of what if she was with Billy came rushing to her head. You'd be living here full time without having to wonder if someone would come after you. You'd have this care and concern all the time without wondering if the press would find out or without knowing that in the morning, he'd have to go back to the wife. You'd have him there and you would not be alone. Fitz is always leaving you alone. He's always leaving you wondering when will be the next time you'd see him. He's always letting you down somehow isn't he? Well lady, I guess you've gone ahead and done it. You've given yourself the painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love you've always wanted, didn't you? Now you're painfully, devastatingly, extraordinarily love-less and alone, which is the difficult and life-changing part because where are you going to get that again?

"Billy, kiss me. Do it quick before I change my mind."

Billy wasted no time and gave her a kiss. It wasn't his best, partly because he was confused as to how she came to the conclusion that she needed a kiss from him and partly because he was shocked that she wanted him to kiss her. As he released her lips, she looked at him confused.

"Do you really kiss like that? Quick, closed off and guarded or is it me that's causing you to kiss like this?"

"No, it's not you. I swear it's not Olivia. I…I was…I was just caught off guard that you wanted a kiss from me. However, if you give me a second chance, I'd make it up to you and it'll be worth it. I guarantee it."

Olivia tilted her head to the side and said, "One more time Billy. Make it count."

Billy replied with a smile on his face, "Yes ma'am" and took her by the waist with as much gentle force as he could.

At first, he just lovingly stared at her while running his hand through her hair and over her face.

"God, you're beautiful! Whoever lands the honor of winning your heart should consider himself to be more than a lucky guy. They should consider themselves holders of the most sacred treasure that walks the earth."

With that, he bent down and allowed his lips to meet hers. When he felt she was ready, he took her bottom lip and gently suckled on it. Olivia began to loosen up even more and she returned the favor by taking his bottom lip and sucking on it before using her tongue to beckon a meeting with his tongue. The tongues met and combined sound of longing and enjoyment finally burst through the air in moans. Olivia found herself to be enjoying this kiss. It was far better than she expected and she did not expect the sparks that did come. Billy did not expect the feeling he received from the kiss. He felt a mix of emotions ranging from anger to complete bliss. Did he really have this angel's heart and toy around with it as if he had all the time in the world? He kissed her lips and let them go, expecting them to come back. Not this time Fitz. Not. This. Time. She will be mine. I know what to do with an angel's heart and I don't mind showing Fitz how it's really to be handled. Billy deepened the kiss and Olivia responded with a moan, a head tilt and by grabbing his hair at the nape of the neck. That was Billy's favorite part of the kiss because it let him know she was really into it as well.

Billy reluctantly ended the kiss. "I hope I have sufficiently redeemed myself from that earlier kiss. I do apologize for the first kiss between us not being the best; however, in my defense, you did spring the idea of kissing you on me." They both laughed. "Seriously Olivia, I know how lonely it can be for you here. So if you want your hand held, a shoulder to cry on or a hug, let me know. I can do that for you. I can be the one who holds your hand or comforts you when you need me to be. I'd actually like that, honestly, especially since you've given me so much just by being here with me."

Olivia blushed and replied, "But Billy, I've not given you anything but someone to help drive up expenses and eat up your food. Speaking of which, is there anything I could do for you? I'm pretty good at pushing dirt to the side and putting a plant in the hole where the dirt used to be. I'll even replace the dirt after the plant if you want. Please let me do some gardening. It's the least I could do to repay you for all that you've done for me."

Billy nodded his head in agreement not because he liked the idea of her gardening to pass the time away but because it was something in reference to keeping herself planted here. It was a way of allowing herself to feel more at home here rather than her feeling as if she should go back to D.C.

"Fine, get your hands dirty if you want, but you're going to have to talk to Wayan yourself about the supplies. She's a tough cookie but I do believe you'll be able to persuade her." Billy smiled.

Olivia kissed him again but quickly this time and said, "Thanks Billy! You won't regret this!"

Olivia began to leave the dining room but as soon as she got to the door, she turned around and said, "Billy thanks for dinner and the dance. But most of all, thanks for giving me exactly what I needed tonight without complaint or over doing it. Tonight was perfect and I thank you for making it that way."

Olivia gave Billy her best smile and he realized that she was glowing. She looked radiant and he immediately locked that sight away in his mental trunk of memories.

Later that evening, Olivia found herself wide awake and unable to sleep. Her mind was racing with new thoughts of Billy. Usually her gut could give her a great sense of direction when it comes to things like this; but apparently it was still broken since her gut felt at ease with Billy. It seemed as if it took a vacation around Billy and that amount of ease was the very thing that unsettled Olivia. She was always sure when it came to the men she dated, well, except for Fitz. But the longer she was around Billy, the more she became less sure that Fitz was her soul mate. From the time she met Fitz, it was always secrecy and stolen moments. She had long grown tired of the secret rendezvous and escapades but she could never stop. It just seemed so…right. As if they belonged together. Olivia couldn't help but to question herself when it came to right and wrong, especially when Fitz was involved. However, what scared her is that Billy and their daily interactions suddenly made it seem as if Fitz may have been wrong for her all this time and that Edison was right. Love wasn't supposed to hurt or painful. Love was…Love? Am I seriously thinking that I'm falling for Billy? Billy, really? I must either really be lonely or really messed up because I'm considering Billy as an option. Olivia chuckled to herself but had to admit that Billy was not a bad choice. He was single and available; child-less, wealthy, intelligent, a gentleman and she did not have to hide in order to date him. To her, he was the perfect candidate for her heart. So why did she not consider him before? This thought kept her up.

Olivia went downstairs to see if she could make herself a cup of tea without waking up the house staff. She crept down the last step and as her left reached the first floor she looked up to see the living room dimly lit by the light coming from the fire place. Olivia noticed the familiar head that was staring at the fire. She stood there, frozen in wondering what was going through his head at the time. Suddenly, one thought darted through her mind and paralyzed her with fear. Could he be thinking of me? Could he be thinking of me like I was just thinking of him? Should I go to him and see if he's ok?

Before she could make a decision, she heard a voice call to her, "Care to join me, Olivia?"

Lost in her train of thought, she did not realize Billy heard the squeak of the last step and had turned around to see Olivia standing there seemingly frozen. Olivia walked slowly over to the couch and sat on the opposite end. He looked at her and noticed she was so stiff and nervous.

"What's going on Olivia? Why are you up? Is everything ok?" Billy was full of concern as he turned his attention and body to her.

"I'm fine Billy. I just couldn't sleep. Too many things are on my mind right now."

Billy patted the couch.

"What? I'm already sitting," Olivia said.

"Put your legs up here. Come on; I know you thought about it earlier when you first sat down. Look, when I said make yourself at home, that's what I meant. Feel free to put your feet up and relax if that will make you feel better. I know it makes me feel better when you are relaxed."

Olivia instantly felt bad that her inability to fully relax was now affecting Billy. She rationalized in her mind: this is only to make him feel better about things. Olivia swung her feet into the air and landed them on the couch with a thud. Billy smiled and then did something that came naturally to him but it took Olivia by surprise.

"What…what are you doing?"

"I'm massaging your feet. It'll help you to relax."

Immediately, Olivia began to relax and this confused her even more. What is my body doing to me? Why is it betraying Fitz like this? What's going on with me?

"Penny for your thoughts? I am a good listener too." Billy really wanted Olivia to feel at home with him.

Olivia sighed and for a minute, seemed to wrestle with whether or not to tell him what was on her mind. She drew in a deep breath.

"I'm in love with someone and I'm not sure if I'll see them again. On one hand, it may be for the best since they are unavailable to me in their current status. However, it may be the worst for me because I'm not sure if I could handle being alone. I'm ready to settle down and have a family and to be with someone who isn't confined to their previous status. I'm ready to move on from the dating scene and stop letting work be exclusively my lover. I wish I could just know what I'm supposed to do because if I continue to do nothing, then I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I'm prepared to do so but…let's just say I'd rather not."

This was music to Billy's ears. She was just as ready as he was to begin a family and to settle down. He took a chance and decided to open up to her about his status.

Still massaging her feet, he began to speak, "I totally understand how you feel. I, too, have been feeling ready to settle down and begin a family for a while. I try to date but I don't like my options. Not many women catch my attention and the ones that do, well, it seems they would rather be with someone else." Billy stared her straight in the eye with that last statement. He wanted her to know how interested he was in her.

Olivia caught on and cleared her throat to buy her some time before responding.

"Billy, I…I hardly ever mixed business with pleasure and when I do, it almost always never works out. So I usually try to keep things professional with people of the opposite sex until my time with them as my client is over. Then, if I'm interested in them and they are interested in me, perhaps a date; however, I've yet to find someone in that circumstance who would be interested in me as a date, without it being a business function and us going as friends who could not get someone else if our lives depended on it."

Olivia chuckled while staring at her fingers. It was the best she could do at the time and she hoped it worked.

"Olivia, I was never your client. So why wouldn't you date me? What was so wrong with me that you wouldn't want to try to explore me as a possibility?" Billy was curious to know this so he could possibly woo her in that way.

"Billy, had I known this side of you back then, you would have been first on the list. It seems as if you understand me far better than I thought. Forget my feelings on the house. Forget where we are right now. Just the way you're communicating with me, wanting to share my thoughts and feelings, THIS is what I've always wanted in a relationship with someone. I wanted to be with someone who I could bare my soul to and for them to stand there and take it without judging me, but gives me simple acceptance. So far, that's all I've seen, heard and felt from you – acceptance. This is what I needed."

Olivia broke down in the hardest set of tears she's produced in a long time. In her crying, she released the pain, the anguish, the struggle, as well as the joy and exhilaration of finding someone who finally listened to her and gave her what she needed. She moved her feet off of the couch and sat up. She looked at Billy through the tears in her eyes and asked the first question that approached her mind, "Ah, just look at me. Who'd want me now?"

Billy slid over to where she was sitting until their thighs met, reached over and lifted her chin in his direction until their eyes met. "I want you. Since the day we met, I've always wanted you. I've not met anyone who could hold a candle to the flame you've set in my heart. I've tried to date to get you out of my mind but all I could do is compare them to you. When I did, they failed miserably. I know I may be out of line, especially since you're vulnerable and all, but whenever you're ready to possibly date again, I'll be here. In the meantime, I'll wait for you."

With that, Billy laid a small kiss on Olivia's lips. He expected to move back, but Olivia kissed him back and with passion. It was as if she tried to convey a message to him through the kiss. Billy understood and returned the kiss with the same passion. Slowly, Olivia opened her mouth and invited Billy's tongue into her mouth. Billy moaned his gratitude and returned the invitation. Olivia felt Billy's desire for her during the first kiss but she was not sure until now if it was true. Now she knew with this kiss there was no mistaking the desire Billy had for her; but it was more than desire. It was longing this time. He longed for her and she was beginning to fall for him. Could he really be the one I've been seeking for all this time? Olivia broke off the kiss by patting Billy's chest.

"Billy, I think I'm tired. Thank you for listening to me and for accepting me as I am. I've got some thinking to do and yes, this time you'll be on my mind through it all. Thanks for a lovely night."

Olivia began to stand up and stretch before proceeding back to her room.

"Olivia, stay with me please. We don't have to do anything but please stay. I don't want to watch the sun come up alone. It's too gorgeous to see it come up alone. Besides, it'll show in about fifteen minutes. Could you spare fifteen minutes to watch the sunrise with me?"

Olivia smiled and sighed. "Fifteen minutes huh? Ok, Billy, but no funny business. A girl can only take so much pity and kindness in a twenty-four hour span, you know."

They laughed. Billy put his left arm on the back of the couch and waited for Olivia to sit next to him. She obliged him and sat down right next to him. So close that her right side and his left seemed to merge together. Olivia laid her head on Billy's shoulder and Billy pulled her in tight. For the first time in decades, Billy prayed. He prayed that this moment could last forever. Instead, sleep crept upon them both and they fell asleep in that same position. The sun rose without its awaiting audience awake to see it.